Pro Tips Link Copied 03.20.25

Your Spring Self-Care Horoscope

No judgment for that Mercury retrograde-based mental health day. ByLisa Stardust

Welcome to spring 2025! While the vibes are mixed, per usual, the planets will give us the opportunity to learn, grow, and change for the better. Those adjustments aren’t always easy, but there are plenty of ways to take care of yourself through the chaos. Here’s what we’re in for once the spring equinox hits on March 20th.

We begin the astrological year of 2025 as we always do, with Aries season. And this one starts with a bang. More specifically, we’ll be in the thick of two major planetary retrogrades. 

Venus, which has been retrograde since March 1st, continues to backslide. On March 27th, the planet ruling romantic love and creativity enters the sign of Pisces, heightening emotions and making us extra sensitive until April 12th. 

Mercury retrograde has also been causing a ruckus since March 15th. And on March 29th, the planet of communication and technology moonwalks into intuitive Pisces. Despite the mess, this is a good time to listen to your gut as you process new information. 

On the same day Mercury enters Pisces, we’ll have a solar eclipse in Aries. Unlike the lunar eclipse in Virgo on March 14th, which asked us to lean into mindfulness, the solar eclipse in Aries is all about action. Don’t be surprised if an eclipse-fueled shake-up inspires you to pursue the things you’ve wanted for a while. 

On March 30th, Neptune, the planet of spirituality and idealism, also enters fiery Aries. That transit invites us to fight for our dreams and do the self-discovery work it takes to learn more about ourselves. 

Taurus season commences on April 19th, allowing us to embrace our creativity. Some of us might even see our hard work finally pay off.

Once we get to May, our sights will be set on ~healing~ as Pluto begins its five-month retrograde, starting on the 4th. This is a great time to look back on the last several months and think about how far we’ve come and what still needs our attention. If you allow yourself to get into your feels, it can be a very cathartic period. 

Then on May 20th, we kick off Gemini season and welcome more playful vibes.

Austere Saturn, known for its strict nature, moves into Aries on May 24th, urging us to be more assertive. It’s a good time to ensure you’re taking all the necessary measures to reach your goals. 

Starting June 9th, Jupiter, who’s been traveling through the sign of Gemini for the first half of 2025, swims into Cancer. And the planet of expansion and luck is happy there. This will be the perfect opportunity to tune into our emotions and offer compassion to those who need it (including ourselves).

JSYK, how these planetary transits impact you depends on your birth chart, or a map of the planets that shows where they were in relation to your time and place of birth. 

Below, you can see what all this means for you based on your sun sign or your rising sign—both good indicators of how these will affect you. Plus, you’ll get insights on the best way to take care of yourself while it all goes down.  

Aries

As a fire sign, it’s easy for you to push through, be bold, and keep up appearances by default. But with all the transits happening in your sun sign this March (Venus retrograde, Mercury retrograde, and the solar eclipse), it’s time to shift gears. 

Your self-care assignment is vulnerability. Be honest about your feelings, ask for help, and try to go with the flow. It’s not easy, but rethinking how you respond to change can help you redefine the terms of your life and make new rules. 

Taurus 

The Venus retrograde wants you to reassess your friendships, Taurus. Once your ruling planet (Venus) ends its backward spin in Pisces on April 12th, you’ll likely find that the quality of your people is more important than the quantity. 

Still, it’s important for you to show up for those you care about too. This spring, think about the ways you can care for the people you love. How can you be more supportive, nurturing, and compassionate? Taking care of your community is a way to care for yourself. 

Gemini 

Ah, Mercury retrograde. When the planet that rules communication, technology, and your sun heads backward, it’s never easy. This time around, from March 15th to April 7th, you’ll feel as chaotic as ever. 

During this time of tech fails and miscommunications, do your best to reflect on how things have been going. Getting grounded via park walks and journaling could be just what you need to get your bearings. Don’t be surprised if this Mercury retrograde delivers new ideas. 

Cancer  

Your career is the focus of this season, Cancer. And while you might be on a path toward attaining major status in your field, you’ll first need to reassess whether your job and values align. The solar eclipse on March 29th and the Mercury and Venus retrogrades are all asking you to do exactly that. Think about your professional visions for the future, your life goals, and whether the road you’re on still makes sense. 

Take these next couple of months to reflect on what you want. By June 9th, when expansive Jupiter enters your sun sign, you’ll have the clarity you need to see those goals through. 

In the meantime, reflecting on what’s important to you, or your values, can usher in some clarity. Spend time journaling or just chatting with a friend about the stuff you’d like to prioritize moving forward. 

Leo

Don’t freak out, but Pluto is here to help you evolve this spring. When the planet of secrets, transformation, and healing goes retrograde on May 4th, feelings you’ve avoided may start to resurface. 

Take this time to rethink how you deal with big emotions. Are you proactively journaling, talking to trusted friends, or seeing a mental health professional? Or are you pushing it all down and hoping for the best?

If it’s the latter, this is your chance to find coping skills that will help you process and manage feelings like jealousy and anger. 

Virgo 

It’s been a lot lately, Virgo. The lunar eclipse in your sun sign on March 14th, the Mercury retrograde in Aries and Pisces, and the Venus retrograde (also in Aries) have shaken things up for you. 

It’s exhausting, but it’s also an opportunity for you to reflect on the types of relationships you want in your life and your communication skills. Looking back is often one of the best ways to move forward. 

Plus, the Aries solar eclipse on March 29th will give you the opportunity (and the energy) to shake off whatever isn’t working. 

As you settle into this new chapter, set some goals for yourself. How do you want this new astrological year to feel? How can you accomplish that?  

Libra 

Venus and Mercury’s retrograde through Aries this spring is hitting your house of partnerships hard. Whether it’s your business partner, your best friend, or your romantic partner, March is a great time to rethink those relationships. 

The solar eclipse in Aries in early March only amplified the drama and likely made you realize how important emotional intimacy is. Love that for you, Libra.

While finding moments of closeness in those tight relationships is important, don’t forget about the one with yourself. Prioritize quality alone time when you can, and get to know yourself as well as you know your loved ones. 

Scorpio

When Pluto, your ruling planet, retrogrades on May 4th, it’s time to embrace the things you don’t love about yourself. As the planet of secrets, transformation, and hidden truths, the Pluto retrograde wants you to reconsider what you hide from the world.

This is the perfect time to do a little shadow work, acknowledging the parts of yourself that feel embarrassing, shameful, or imperfect and embracing them (within reason). 

You could try to speak up for yourself even though you’re afraid of being too much. Or tell someone you trust something you’ve been ashamed about. Whatever you do, make self-compassion the priority. 

Sagittarius 

Jupiter in Gemini, the sign opposite your sun, may be dimming your shine, Sag. Since the planet of expansion and progress will remain there until June 9th, these last few months of the transit are asking you to take stock of all the good stuff in your life. 

Between now and June, start a regular gratitude practice. Making lists of what went well today, naming all the things you’re thankful for before bed, or celebrating your wins—even the ones you’d normally shrug off are all fair game. Relish your accomplishments. Savor the moments that spark joy.

Capricorn 

When Jupiter enters Cancer on June 9th, you can expect to see big changes in your love life. This is the time to be clear about what you want in romantic and platonic relationships and suss out anyone who isn’t throwing green flags. 

To get started, think about the things you value most in yourself, in other people, and in relationships in general. Taking stock of what’s important to you will help clarify who’s aligned and who isn’t—and they’re also a great self-discovery tool.

Aquarius 

With Pluto retrograde in your sun sign from May 4th to October 13th, the next several months are centered on reflection. More specifically, think about the ways you’ve felt slighted and the times when you may have hurt someone else. 

See if there’s an opportunity for you to forgive the people who messed up, including yourself. You’re more than your mistakes. Taking time to sit with what happened and how you feel about it can help you move forward. See if you find a new perspective. 

Pisces

When Jupiter enters your co-water sign, Cancer, on June 9th, you’ll slip into your “No thank you” era. As a chronic people pleaser, Jupiter’s expansive powers are here to help you take up space by prioritizing your own needs. 

Practice setting boundaries this season, Pisces. You can start small, like declining an invite you’d last-minute cancel anyway or waiting an hour before responding to a text. You don’t have to feel guilty for creating limits.

The post Your Spring Self-Care Horoscope appeared first on Wondermind.

Essay Link Copied 01.31.25

How to Care for Yourself in the Waiting

There will always be a part of you that reaches toward what might one day be. ByBrianna Wiest

If you think back to the moments you feel most nostalgic about, most sunken-hearted to realize have passed, you will often find that they are not the milestone moments that summed up that chapter in your life, but the quiet hours that actually defined it.

Your favorite song, and how it sounded, and where it brings you to listen to those verses again. The little routines you established for yourself. The little corners of the world that temporarily became home, and the people there with you. The ones you found joy with in the empty hours, in the smallest and most unsuspecting ways. That is the essence of what would ultimately define that era of your life, that made life actually feel lived.

It is easy to get trapped inside the illusion of constant forward-thinking.

To think that if our eyes do not remain fixed on the horizon at all times, we will never go anywhere. To an extent, that is true. But what is also true is that if we only think of our lives as a series of things we’re trying to get to, and then periods we have to endure in order to arrive there, we often come to find that the majority of our days are overshadowed by a kind of emptiness we can’t always describe or understand.

We look to those benchmark moments—going back to school, landing the job, stumbling upon someone we come to care about in so many different ways—often as a way of escaping discomfort. The kind of discomfort that has little to do with the fact that we are still in-between where we have been and where we are going, but is actually an unmovable part of being human. The kind of discomfort we have to refine our attention to embrace and then become discerning about.

There will always be something to worry about, something that is undone or unfinished.

There will always be something that is not quite yet, or not all there, or close but not close enough. There will always be something within that realm because there will always be a part of you that is open and hungry and ready for more. There will always be a part of you that reaches toward what might one day be.

But you cannot allow it to eclipse the part of you that sometimes doesn’t realize you’ve landed in the things you were once reaching for.

If we do not gradually train ourselves to notice, to pay attention, to carve out spaces where we nestle ourselves into our lives just as they are, and make them feel like home, we spend eternity on a trajectory that allows us to postpone not only our joy, but also, our inner work. Our reconciliation with ourselves. If we are only just waiting for the next big thing to fall into place to put our shoulders down, we are probably also waiting until that point to clean up the aspects of our lives that most need our attention.

The waiting periods of our lives are not only to be dealt with, but they are also to be embraced.

Within them, the most beautiful things of all often emerge.

This is the time life has given you to self-invest. This is the time life has given you to be alone, and when you get to be alone, you get to experience who you really are. You get to hear the sound of your own voice, the pull and push of your own intuition, your own opinion, your own truth. Unaltered from how you think you must be for others, in the very times when you think you have been abandoned, you have often been given the gift to be set free. This is the time life has given you to decide what version of you is going to meet that future you’re waiting for when it eventually, and inevitably, arrives. 

This is the time when you’re going to define the depth of your bandwidth, of your ability to receive and hold and be. If you don’t practice on the small things, when the big things arrive, they never fully reach you. They never completely land. This is because you were never really waiting on one more thing to come into the picture to feel at peace. You were waiting on your own readiness, your own capacity to notice a good thing when it’s there, and before it’s gone.

The point is that the waiting period is also the landing plane of a past waiting period you never thought you’d get through, you feared would never come. The point is that the waiting period is also the place where the most unexpected and beautiful aspects of your story can and will unfold. The point is that you don’t know what you don’t know. 

Very few of us actually make it through all of our years and discover the timeline unfolded in perfect accordance with our initial expectations of it. None of us, in fact. But therein lies the magic. Because in the space where you weren’t given what you wanted, you were handed what you needed. In the time you were given before the next thing came, you grew. You expanded. You changed. And if you use that time to become a version of yourself that is more authentic, the things you will find yourself reaching for will change as well.

You must have enough resolve to know you’re not unconsciously going through the dance of life and getting judged and graded upon your performance.

You’re engineering something that’s never existed before, because no being exactly like you has ever been here before or will ever be again. Within this instant, and within you, there is something that can be uncovered, and you may never have the exact same opportunity to do so again.

Will you meet this moment with your full chest?

The post How to Care for Yourself in the Waiting appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 12.19.24

Your Self-Care Horoscope for 2025

We’ll take whatever advice we can get, tbh. ByLisa Stardust

The new year always brings new reasons to take better care of yourself. And your 2025 horoscope is no exception. For the next 365 days, the stars are inviting us to heal from our past and find new ways to evolve. It’s a big assignment but probably a much-needed one. 

As we kick off the year, Mars continues to retrograde in Cancer until February 23rd. As a result, we’ll all be feeling lethargic (let’s go back to bed, shall we?). If you do anything at all, use this time to conserve your energy, surround yourself with comforts, stay present, and keep your plans flexible (see: cancelable).

Around the same time, the North and South nodes (aka the Nodes of Destiny) enter Pisces and Virgo, respectively, on January 11th. The Nodes aren’t planets, but they are points on the moon’s axis. In astrology, those points indicate what needs our attention now (the North Node) and what we’ve already experienced (the South Node). This transit encourages us to use spirituality (whatever that means to you) to get a little more grounded and heal over the next year and a half. If you take the universe up on it, you might gain a greater sense of interconnectedness and acceptance. Love that for us.

On March 1st, Venus begins to retrograde in Aries through Pisces until April 12th. Venus, the planet ruling romance, values, and aesthetics, wants us to rethink our alliances. Are there any relationships that aren’t working anymore? Are there some worth giving a little more TLC? This is a great time to assess. 

While Venus is traveling backward, it meets up with the sun on March 22nd, making it the perfect day to get clear on your romantic relationships. (It’s very good for DTR talks.) It’s also an ideal opportunity to nurture your relationship with yourself. Schedule a massage, book that class at the gym, or give yourself five minutes to stare at the ceiling for no reason. 

Not long after, Neptune, the planet of spirituality and idealism, heads into Aries on March 30th. That transit wants us to believe in our dreams and see them through to the end. If you need motivation, this is your moment!

As we move through the last month of spring (at least in the Northern Hemisphere), Saturn enters Aries on May 24th, staying there until September 1st. This period gives us a chance to take charge of our lives at work and outside of it. Think about the ways you can be more in control.

Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion, is in chatty, always-busy Gemini until June 9th, when it enters Cancer for the next year. Once it’s swimming in Cancerian waters, Jupiter sends extra nurturing, protective, artistic, and compassionate vibes our way. We need them! 

On July 7th, innovative (often chaotic) Uranus moves into Gemini until November 7th (when it retrogrades into Taurus for a bit). That transit wants us to think about how our actions and words align—or don’t. By the time Uranus hits Taurus, you can use those insights to develop practical solutions and move forward. 

Eclipse season will also shake things up this year (like every year). The first is a lunar eclipse in Virgo on March 14th, encouraging us to lean into mindfulness. Then, we’ll have a solar eclipse in Aries on March 29th, igniting our passions and self-esteem. When the lunar eclipse in Pisces on September 7th hits, our emotions will be front and center. We’ll cap the season off with a solar eclipse in Virgo on September 21st, prepping us for a fresh start. There’s something in here for everyone! 

And, of course, no year would be complete without a few Mercury retrogrades. This year they’re happening March 15th to April 7th in Aries and Pisces, July 18th to August 11th in Leo, and November 9th to the 29th in Sagittarius and Scorpio. Because these are all happening in water and fire signs, you might feel tired and irritable. Not ideal. Still, remember that Mercury retrogrades are a chance to refresh and rethink how we communicate, our attitudes, and our beliefs. Focus on improving your life. Don’t partake in the drama.

The way each of these transits affects you depends on your birth chart—or a map of where the planets were in relation to the place you were born at the time of your birth. So, below, we explain what’s in store next year for you. You can read up on your sun sign or your rising sign (both impact the way these transits hit you). You’ll also find ways you can take care of yourself during this next trip around the sun, which is the whole point, right?

Aries 

You are a force to be reckoned with. But even someone as fierce and resourceful as you needs sleep and time to decompress. And that’s your assignment in early 2025 as Mars, your planetary ruler, retrogrades until February 23rd. 

If you start practicing boundaries and limits early on, you’ll be prepared for Venus and Mercury’s backslide through your sign between March and April. That transit also wants you to avoid biting off more than you can chew. While you’re figuring out how much you can really take on at once, spend time thinking about ways you can enroll the help of others. That’s what Neptune and Saturn want from you as they align with your sign from March 30th to October 2nd and from May 24th to September 1st. 

Maybe it’s obvious by now, but your self-care assignment for 2025 is to do less! Sign up for our Do Less Challenge, set boundaries, rethink your to-do list, and seek out sources of support. It’s time to lean out, Aries!

Taurus 

You’re known for your down-to-earth nature, but 2025 wants you to go deeper. From March 1st to April 12th, Venus, your planetary ruler, retrogrades in Aries. And, like all retrogrades, this one wants you to reflect on your values, what makes you happy, your relationship with yourself, and your relationship with others. 

Maybe that means taking a step back from the party scene and implementing more rest into your life (especially in early spring). Whatever action you take, the goal is to do what’s best for your well-being. You don’t have to cancel your plans though. Maybe you just switch things up, planning more low-key events at home, and centering hangouts on conversation and coziness when Uranus realigns with your sign in the late fall . Sounds soothing, right? 

Gemini 

Jupiter, the planet of expansion, has been in your sign since May 25th 2024, and it’ll be there until June 9th 2025. Hopefully, you’ve noticed a major confidence boost over the last year. If not, take advantage of the spotlight during the next several months. On July 7th Uranus enters Gemini, and shakes up your social life—likely for the better! 

To take advantage of these big transits, think about how you can expand your social circle. Who are the people you’ve been meaning to reach out to? What friendship could grow with a little extra care? Keep an open mind, stay flexible with your plans, and you may learn more about yourself, others, and the world.

ICYMI, community care counts as self-care. So bookmark these deep conversation starters for moments of connection with your people. It’s gonna be a fun ride, Gem! 

Cancer 

Jupiter, the planet of expansion, growth, and adventure, is coming for your sign on June 9th. This transit encourages you to be your most emotionally mature self, resolving interpersonal struggles, developing healthy friendships, charming the pants off everyone, and nurturing your relationship with yourself. 

While all of that is exciting, the last bit is probably the most important for your mental health this year. Harness this big Jupiter energy by showing yourself some love in the form of gratitude journaling (“Things I appreciate about myself” is a solid prompt!), a new affirmation routine, or developing an appreciation for boundaries. 

Leo

When progressive Uranus moves through chatty Gemini from July 7th to November 7th, it’ll activate the humanitarian and social areas of your chart. That transit wants you to broaden your horizons and shift your attention to those who could use some kindness. But, in social Leo fashion, making it a group event will maximize the benefits.

Around the same time (July 18th to August 11th, to be exact), Mercury retrograde is happening in your sign. That could bring old friends back into your orbit, so take advantage! Engaging with your community to better the world is an act of self-care since it can prevent loneliness, create connection, and align with your values (aka the things that are most important to you). Go get ’em, Leo! 

Virgo 

On January 11th the South Node hits your sign, encouraging you to uncover secrets, fears, and setbacks you’ve been avoiding for a while now. Over the next 18 months, you’ll have an incredible opportunity to heal the stuff you’d normally gloss over. Plus, the lunar eclipse on March 14th and the September 21st solar eclipse happening in your sign will put these issues front and center.

Maybe it’s fostering self-compassion for your mistakes, identifying habits that just aren’t working anymore, or accepting parts of yourself you’d rather ignore. It’s hard work (sometimes called shadow work), but the payoff is massive. With that challenge ahead of you, prioritize positive self-talk, feel those big feelings, and try to validate yourself instead of seeking affirmation from external sources. 

Libra 

When the North Node enters Pisces on January 11th, you’ll be in the mood for a healing journey. As an air sign, you’ll likely benefit from learning something new or getting into the arts. And with Pluto getting comfortable in innovative Aquarius, a new creative hobby might be more beneficial than you think.

If you can, try to keep up those outlets as the Venus retrograde in Aries (March 1st to April 12th) slows your motivation. Even if you get wrapped up in your career and relationships stuff (classic Libra distractions), expressing yourself can help you decompress. 

When you’re losing steam, harness the vibes from Uranus in Gemini from July 7th to November 7th and switch things up. Maybe a knitting club or a monthly paint class is exactly what you and your crew need right now. 

Scorpio 

Welcome to your soft era, Scorpio. To be honest, it may have already begun when Mars started moonwalking in early December. Though the planet of action will go direct on February 23rd, you can expect the slow, tender vibes to stick around through the year. That’s because your modern planetary ruler, Pluto, who’s currently in Aquarius, is urging you to let your guard down and nurture your relationships in meaningful ways. 

Go ahead, be mushy and let your people know that you’re here for them with a just-checking-in text, a deep conversation, or a would you rather question. That’ll be especially impactful during the solar eclipse in Virgo on September 21st. In 2025, your job is to make sure the people you love know how much you care. You’ll feel fulfilled when you do. 

Sagittarius

Your ruling planet Jupiter is shining a spotlight on your work and social life, Sag. In the first half of the year, the planet of expansion and growth will linger in social Gemini until June 9th. Then, on July 7th, Uranus, known for making waves and starting fresh, enters Gemini until November 7th. Both of these transits are impacting your seventh house of interpersonal connections, making you super popular. Wee!

You can optimize this time by developing relationships with work colleagues you love (not awkward icebreaker questions for work, anyone?). Who knows, they might become your new best friends. Tending to those new relationships will be extra helpful as Mercury, the planet ruling communication, retrogrades in your sign (and Scorpio) from November 9th to the 29th. 

Of course, while you’re making more time for others, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Ramp up the positive self-talk, blast your favorite song in the car, or plan a Sunday bed rot. 

Capricorn 

When your planetary ruler, Saturn, heads into Aries on May 24th, it will enter your house of ~family affairs~ until September 1st. Like you, Saturn is a rule follower who loves a routine. Utilize this always-on-time energy to schedule more quality moments with your fam. That could help you cultivate a healthier dynamic with them going forward. 

Then, on June 9th, lucky Jupiter enters Cancer, which is opposite your sign. This makes it a great time to assess your goals in work and life. While your main objective is to set realistic expectations, you can still dream big! Make a vision board for the next six months of 2025, using creativity to whip up a visual representation of what you want to achieve. 

Aquarius

With Pluto, the planet of transformation and healing, securely in your sign until 2043, the stars want you to lead with your opinions and ideas. It’ll be a change of pace for your chill self, but that might be just what you need. 

Your emotions will also be top of mind toward the end of the year as Uranus, which governs the unexpected, waffles back and forth between social Gemini and earthy Taurus (starting November 7th). These transits will strengthen the part of your chart that rules self-expression and your emotional foundation. Translation: Your innermost emotions are going to get real intense. 

This is an excellent time to feel your feelings. If you’re not sure where to start or what you’re even feeling, spend some time with a feelings wheel. See if you can identify the emotions that are bubbling up for you. Then, prioritize sitting with whatever’s going on without fixing it. Maybe it’s a weekly bubble bath, a daily shower cry (no judgment), or a solid journaling practice. Use what works, leave what doesn’t. 

Pisces 

You’re stronger than you know, Pisces! While you’re definitely one of the most intuitive signs in the zodiac, 2025 is going to prove that you can also be independent, effective, and achieve whatever you put your mind to. That’s because, starting January 11th, the North Node enters your sign, energizing you through the summer of 2026. 

Then, when the eclipses hit your chart in the spring and fall (especially the lunar one in your sign on September 7th), the universe wants you to let go. Think about the unhealthy situations, friends, or people you need to set limits with or lose altogether. By the time you’re done you’ll have a clearer picture of who appreciates you in your full glory (perhaps even a new romantic interest). 

Your assignment is to become a boundary-setting savant. Think about how you want people to treat you. Then, kindly and calmly explain your boundary to whoever needs to hear it (giving them advanced notice before you hang out is always a good idea). If you’re extra clear and reinforce your limits, this process might just change your life (or at least your year).

The post Your Self-Care Horoscope for 2025 appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 09.03.24

7 Ways to Deal With Analysis Paralysis

From what to watch to where to live, this can help you make a decision you feel good about. ByAnna Borges

Whomst among us hasn’t been indecisive at some point or another? From debating between a chill night in and a wild night out to agonizing over whether to splurge on something new, life is full of chances to feel uncertain about what you want or need. Not to mention all the important junctures in our careers, relationships, and personal growth that will have us considering big shake-ups over the years. But sometimes we don’t just hesitate in the face of a decision—we full-on freeze up. Welcome to analysis paralysis (also known as decision paralysis). 

“Decision paralysis goes beyond indecisiveness and moves into that feeling of stuckness,” says Ivy Ellis, LCSW, a Chicago-based therapist who specializes in anxiety. “You’re ruminating on the decision but can’t seem to take a step forward in any direction.” It happens to the best of us, even when we know we need to choose already, damnit. 

What brings on analysis paralysis?

For starters, an overabundance of choice is a big roadblock, even if the options aren’t ones we’d seriously considered—think of endlessly scrolling through streaming services trying to decide what to watch. “We get overwhelmed by all the different options available to us,” especially when we’re concerned with making an informed call and want to explore various courses of action, says Ellis. After all, it’s tough to commit to moving forward when you feel like there’s always another alternative around the bend.

Other times, people freeze up because they just don’t like their options, says Britt Frank, LSCSW, neuropsychotherapist and author of The Science of Stuck. Because, let’s be real, sometimes life serves up nothing but crappy choices, and it’s human to drag your feet, hoping for a better one to magically appear.

Fear plays a big role, too, says Ellis. We worry about screwing things up, doubt our ability to handle the consequences, or stress over what others might think. Conditions like anxiety, ADHD, and OCD, as well as traits like perfectionism and people-pleasing can amplify these fears, leading to overthinking, overwhelm, and—you guessed it—analysis paralysis.

So how are you supposed to make up your mind when decisions can be loaded for a million reasons? While we can’t give you a step-by-step guide to making That Choice, there are ways to ease the discomfort of decision-making, feel more confident about your choices, and finally get things moving. Whether you’re thinking about making a big life change or just want to be more decisive in everyday situations, here’s what the experts suggest:

1. Name and narrow down your options.

It may sound obvious, but before you can make any decision, it’s crucial to know exactly what you’re deciding between, Frank says. Sometimes, the options are clear-cut and usefully time-bound: Do you accept a job offer by the end of the week or stay where you are? Do you renew your expiring lease or start apartment hunting? Do you apply to adopt this dog now or wait until you feel more prepared? If you can easily name your immediate choices, you’re in a good position to move forward.

But if you’re still asking yourself big, broad questions like Should I go back to school? or Should I switch career paths? instead of comparing specific next steps, you might not be at a decision-making point yet. You’re likely still in the exploration phase, which is totally normal. In these cases, Frank recommends breaking down big decisions into smaller, actionable steps, like, Should I start by researching degree programs or talking it out with someone I trust? or Do I want to start applying for jobs in a new field or explore internal opportunities?

On the other hand, if you have more than a handful of options, you’re going to want to narrow things down. One solid way to suss out the weakest links?

2. Write—then edit—your pros and cons list.

First off, yep, you should probably make a pro/con list for any significant decision. Feel free to brain-dump your first draft without overthinking—just put all your thoughts down on paper (or screen). “It’s important to get everything out there so you can see your options clearly and from different angles,” Ellis says.

Once you’ve done that, it’s time to refine your list and suss out what’s actually helpful and relevant to your decision. Ellis suggests digging deeper into the items to see if they hold up. For instance, if you’re thinking about moving to a new city, “Using my savings for moving costs” is a solid, specific concern, but “Having no friends” might need some reframing (see instead: “Adjusting to long-distance with my besties” or “Time and effort to make new friends in the city”). 

Also, be mindful of any fortune-telling or broad assumptions happening on your list. For instance, you may be sure that a new job pays more thanks to your offer letter, but you can’t say for certain that you’ll find it more or less stressful than your current one.

As you go through your list, Ellis recommends asking yourself: How realistic is this? And how big of a deal is it? That way, you focus on what truly matters, rather than getting bogged down by every little worry or fantasy. “A lot of the time, when you start digging in, you realize, Actually, I don’t care that much about that part, or That’s not even true,” says Ellis. If you’re feeling unsure, that might be a sign to…

3. Brush up on your values.

We talk about values a lot here at Wondermind—because, as mental health pros will tell you, they’re a big part of living a fulfilling and purposeful life. So it’s probably no surprise that your values are also super valuable (lol) for making decisions, especially the big ones. Because, most likely, every possible decision will come with both pros and cons. 

When you’re still torn between choices after exploring them thoroughly, Ellis says there’s often a bigger question you need to ask yourself: What matters most to you? For example, if you’re considering moving in with your partner after living solo for years, taking a cool new job that pays less, or going back to school to switch careers, how you approach these choices will depend on what you prioritize in life. Are you willing to sacrifice some financial stability for creative fulfillment? How about trading independence for a deeper connection?

That doesn’t mean you’ll always be making clear-cut trade-offs. But when you make decisions based on your values, you’re more likely to feel good about your choices afterward and fulfilled in the long run, says Ellis. 

4. Let go of the idea of a “right” choice.

According to Ellis, most of us get stuck in black-or-white thinking with our decision-making at some point. We create a false dichotomy between the Right Choice and the Wrong Choice, and toil away trying to figure out which one is which. But no matter how many pro/con lists you write, or how many new options you brainstorm, you’ll probably never solve the mystery of which one will be The Very Best or most likely to turn out the way you want. 

Instead, Ellis recommends recognizing that most decisions will fall somewhere in the middle so you can adjust your expectations (and language) accordingly. “There’s no perfect choice—every decision is going to have good aspects and bad aspects,” she says. To that end, you might start thinking of your options as more or less difficult, realistic, or aligned with your values or goals. 

5. Give yourself some deadlines.

If you give yourself unlimited time to make up your mind, you might end up overthinking forever. It’s classic productive procrastination: “People feel like they’re working on a decision if they’re thinking about it, even if they’re not taking any action,” Ellis says. But at some point, you’ve got to move forward, and setting a hard deadline can be the nudge you need.

For smaller decisions, set a quick deadline to avoid getting bogged down by unnecessary info-gathering (like if you can’t find something to watch in the next 10 minutes you’ll default to a Schitt’s Creek rewatch). For bigger decisions, Frank recommends breaking them into manageable steps with mini-deadlines to keep the process moving forward. Because you might not feel ready to choose a deadline for whether or not to break up with your partner, but you can at least decide to get that pro/con list done by the end of the week to keep things moving.

And, BTW, some of us aren’t great at sticking to self-imposed deadlines. If that sounds like you, try getting an accountability buddy involved. Knowing someone else is checking in can be just the push you need to stay on track.

6. Don’t bring in too many outside opinions.

Just like you can ruminate on your own, you can also talk things to death with an audience—especially if you’re asking everyone and their mother for advice. “Crowdsourcing too many outside opinions on a decision is like having too many cooks in the kitchen,” Ellis says. When you open the floor to too many voices, you might end up more confused and overwhelmed than when you started, with everyone’s differing opinions pulling you in opposite directions.

Instead, Ellis suggests limiting discussions to those directly involved and one or two trusted sounding boards, whether that’s a close friend, therapist, mentor, or partner. “Find someone who can help you see things from a different perspective or bounce ideas around,” she advises.

Even then, ask yourself ahead of time what you’re looking for out of a conversation. Boundaries will keep things constructive without opening any new cans of worms. Instead of just, “I’m thinking about adopting a dog—what do you think?” you might specify, “I’m curious to hear about the unexpected challenges that came up when you got Rover” or “No need to talk about the costs—I’ve already budgeted for that.” This way, you guide the conversation toward what you need, rather than inviting more uncertainty.

7. Repeat after me: You can handle this.

Self-compassion is a crucial tool when you’re suffering from analysis paralysis, says Frank. Because beating yourself up isn’t going to help you decide any faster. In fact, it’ll probably immobilize you even more. So recognize that it’s normal to feel uncertain or struggle with big choices, and avoid beating yourself up for not having all the answers right away. This isn’t just about making yourself feel better—you’re giving yourself the mental space to navigate decisions without added pressure.

If compassionate reminders aren’t enough, try approaching it from a problem-solving perspective instead. “You can make a plan with yourself: If this choice does turn out to be difficult, how will I handle the difficulty?” Ellis says. No need to make full contingency plans for every possible outcome—zero on what you fear most and talk yourself down. 

Whatever the choice, there’s at least one positive outcome that you can count on: You’ll learn something new for next time. Because if there’s one thing that’s for certain, it’s that more decisions are coming down the pipeline—and the more you practice, the less you’ll freeze up.

The post 7 Ways to Deal With Analysis Paralysis appeared first on Wondermind.

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10 Signs Your Life Needs a Change

We’re not suggesting you burn it all down. But maybe a gentle refresh is in order? ByAnna Borges

I’m no stranger to the urge to overhaul my life. No matter how things are going, it hits like clockwork several times a year—around my birthday, on New Year’s Eve, whenever my loved ones are thriving in particularly envy-inducing ways, you get it. Heck, even back-to-school season sends me into a tailspin and I haven’t been a student in a decade. Sometimes I panic-text my friends:  “What if I get my masters?” and other times I google “underrated beach towns low cost of living please help” late into the night, but either way, I get restless if I go too long without humoring the idea of switching things up. 

But on the flip side of that are all the times that I find myself coasting through life on autopilot for months—or years?!—at a time, not entirely sure if things are actually good or if I’m just too afraid or unmotivated to make some moves. 

If you can relate to that push-and-pull between wanting to overhaul your life and wanting to avoid the topic of change altogether, then—congrats—you are probably definitely human. So, how do you know when it’s actually time for a change? And not just, you know, boredom or running away or succumbing to the societal messaging that says we should always be moving and growing and improving? 

First things first, a “change” doesn’t necessarily mean blowing up your life. 

No one’s here to encourage you to burn it all down and start fresh. Not only is that unfeasible and intimidating for most of us, but it’s also rarely the best first step even when we do want our lives to feel dramatically different. Baby steps, you know? 

Not to mention, the impulse to overhaul usually emphasizes external parts of your life when you may benefit from looking inward first. “Sometimes the change you need isn’t switching jobs, moving cities, or ending relationships—it’s a change in mindset,” says Belle Liang, PhD, founder of the Purpose Lab at Boston College and coauthor of How to Navigate Life. 

With that in mind, let’s talk about some signs it’s time to shake things up—internally or externally—and where to start if they hit a little too close to home. 

1. You can’t name your why. 

“Why?” doesn’t have to be a huge question if you don’t want it to be. You can break it down by areas of your life. Why do you spend your free time the way you do? Why are you with your partner? Why do you hang out with your friends? (“Why are you writing this article?” Dr. Liang posed on our call.) 

Digging deeper into “why” can help you identify your mindset, which can then highlight where you might need to make some changes. “What’s the compass you’re using to make decisions in your life?” Dr. Liang asks. If you’re coming up blank or don’t like the answers that come to you, it might be time to reevaluate and make some adjustments. 

2. Happiness is your #1 priority.

Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. But interestingly, in her research, Dr. Liang found a singular focus on personal happiness above all else doesn’t actually lead to lasting happiness. For one, people tend to confuse happiness with feeling good all the time, which isn’t how life works. “You wind up prioritizing avoiding negative affect and maximizing positive affect, but overlook a deeper sense of fulfillment,” Dr. Liang says.

Other ways this happiness-above-all-else mentality shows up might be: avoiding challenges or uncomfortable situations, seeking instant gratification over long-term rewards, and prioritizing personal pleasure at the expense of meaningful connections and responsibilities.

3. You spend your days on autopilot.

Don’t get me wrong, we can’t operate at 100% all the time. We have schedules and responsibilities to keep, and not every day can be one for the history books. But often, autopilot is a feeling of going through the motions and treading water. 

If you feel checked out more often than not, it could indicate that you need to switch things up so you can feel like an active participant in your own life. “When we’re on autopilot, we’re not exercising agency, we’re not directing our lives—we’re just passive,” Dr. Liang says. 

4. You distract yourself. A lot. 

Dr. Liang suggests paying attention to mindless behaviors—binge-watching your shows, constantly scrolling social media, or otherwise seeking out ways to get out of your head. 

For one, they’re things we do when we’re falling prey to aforementioned autopilot and short-term pleasure-seeking. 

There’s also the question of what thoughts you’re keeping at bay via mindless consumption. “Where there’s avoidance, there are changes and choices we don’t want to make—but probably need to,” says Britt Frank, LSCSW, neuropsychotherapist and author of The Science of Stuck.

5. You’re thinking in black and white. 

Always vs. never, every vs. none, easy vs. impossible—keep an ear out for absolute language that subtly signals you’ve fallen into some sort of pattern that isn’t working for you. “I’ll never find someone to date; my friendships always end in drama; none of my coworkers know what they’re doing—these kinds of phrases suggest we’re stuck somewhere,” Frank says. 

6. You often find yourself thinking, Ugh, why can’t that be me? 

Envy—the sense of wanting something that someone else has—can provide a lot of useful information when you pay attention. It’s easy to dismiss it as a negative emotion, but it can actually be a powerful indicator of what you desire or feel is missing in your life—aka areas of potential change. It’s not always one-to-one, of course. Seeing green when your friend gets a promotion doesn’t have to mean, “Time to work even harder for my own promotion!” It might say, “Wow, I wish I liked my job half as much as she does.” 

7. You feel like a failure unless you’re constantly winning. 

On the other hand, comparing yourself all the time might also signal you’re hyper-focused on success, rather than fulfillment and purpose. “It’s a scarcity mindset where there are winners and losers in life, and it’s another internal warning sign that things need to change,” Dr. Liang says. 

Envy’s not the only signal you’re seeing the world through this unfulfilling lens: Consider if you treat your life like one long self-improvement project, always asking, How do I succeed? How do I come out on top? How do I get better?

8. You’re disconnected from the world around you. 

You probably don’t need us to tell you that connections with other people are super important to mental health and life satisfaction. And unfortunately, it’s all too common these days to lack that sense of belonging. “People are disconnected from themselves, from each other, from their work, from a larger sense of purpose,” Dr. Liang says, noting that it’s a common source of dissatisfaction. 

She notes that this sense of disconnection can manifest in various ways, like strained relationships, conflicts, or a general feeling of apathy in your interactions with loved ones. However it shows up, something may need to shift to help you establish—or strengthen—vital connections, whether it’s putting yourself out there to make new friends, evaluating your current relationships, or putting in more effort where you dropped the ball. 

9. There’s just no spark, you know? 

We all go through phases where life feels a bit dull, but if the things that once excited you now feel like chores, pay attention. “You might feel meh, even if you have success, even if you’re surrounded by things you find personally meaningful—there’s just a restless, nagging sense that something is missing,” Dr. Liang says. 

10. Lastly, you clicked on this article, didn’t you? 

Not for nothing, but if you’ve started wondering if it’s time for a change, that’s a pretty decent sign that it is. You don’t need to wait to see CHANGE YOUR LIFE written in the clouds—your gut can tell you just as much. 

“If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know,” Frank says. “If you are content, I’m not here to tell you otherwise. But if you take an inventory of the major areas of your life and you’re not happy with how things feel, it’s time for a change.”

Great, I’m having an existential crisis. What now?

Deep breaths. You can start really small. “Even if you’re just switching up what you eat for lunch or what you wear when you work from home, that tiny change deactivates your brain’s autopilot setting,” says Frank. “You can’t make big changes on autopilot. But changing things up a little every day keeps your brain in manual mode where you have more power, more control, and more choices available.”  

Then there’s the whole…finding your purpose thing. Whether you’re asking, “Does my life need a change?” or “How does my life need to change?” your purpose is a solid north star, one associated with an overall sense of well-being and fulfillment in Dr. Liang’s research. 

Before you freak out, Dr. Liang recommends cultivating a more accessible “purpose mindset” rather than naming your One True Purpose. She encourages reflecting on what she considers the four elements of purpose: your character strengths, the skills you want to develop, the core values that you stand for, and the impact you wish to make in the world.

“If you know those things about yourself, those four anchors to who you are, you’re going to deepen the connection you have with yourself,” Dr. Liang says. The more in-touch you are with yourself, the easier it will be to recognize when you need a change and when you’re content with just the way things are, thanks.

The post 10 Signs Your Life Needs a Change appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 06.28.24

7 Tips for Anyone Who Feels Like a Failure

If things are especially bad right now, this can help. ByAnna Borges

Sometimes life doesn’t go your way. You don’t get your dream job, your relationship falls apart, you mess up in a very public way—whatever it is that goes horribly wrong, it all sends your mind to the same sucky place: I feel like a failure. Well, if it’s any consolation, we can assure you this feeling is incredibly common. 

“We live in a very goals-driven society,” says Zarmina Khan, MEd, a psychotherapist with Bloom Psychology. “We go to school, we go to work, we’re expected to grow and accomplish things. We have all these benchmarks of what a ‘successful’ life is supposed to look like.” And when we don’t meet those milestones when and how we want to, of course it can leave us feeling terrible. 

Not to mention the impact of the past couple of years, which Khan notes threw a lot of people’s plans right out the window. Thanks to the so-called pandemic skip, many of us still feel like we’re playing catch-up. “It’s not a you problem—we’ve been operating under very unusual circumstances, and there’s nothing wrong with your life not going according to plan right now,” Khan says. 

So, whether you’re reeling from a specific mistake or just generally feeling lost or like you aren’t measuring up, here are some therapist-backed tips for shaking that failure feeling and getting back on track. 

1. Feel the feels. 

Before jumping into solutions, Khan says it’s crucial to make space for your feelings. “You might feel disappointed, sad, let down, hurt, embarrassed—all of these are normal feelings to have,” she says. Journaling can be a powerful tool to express your emotions, as can chatting with a trusted friend or therapist. Anything but brushing them off or burying them deep.

Just watch out for the potential spiral. “It’s important to be mindful of your inner critic showing up,” Khan says. “You want to validate your feelings without falling into thoughts like, I’m a failure or I can never do anything right.” 

If you’re wondering, OKAY, BUT HOW? keep reading for some helpful reframes. 

2. Rethink the word “fail.”

Go ahead and imagine the use of heavy air quotes whenever we use that word in this article. Contrary to what many of us learned growing up, success and failure aren’t mutually exclusive—they often coexist. So Khan recommends shifting how you talk about your “failures” to ease the shame and hurt that often accompany the idea, says Khan. 

Instead of more emotionally charged language, she suggests terms like “setback,” “mistake,” or “unwanted outcome,” or whatever’s most relevant. “‘Something that didn’t go as planned’ is more approachable and less intimidating than the self-critical and all-encompassing weight of ‘failure,’” she says. 

Another reason to avoid “failure” language: Because it implies fault or blame in situations that aren’t actually in your control, like breaking up over wanting different things, experiencing fertility troubles, or struggling to make rent.  

3. Look for evidence you’re not a failure.

We often fall victim to cognitive distortions in the face of perceived failure, says Khan, like black-and-white thinking (I always screw things up) or overgeneralizing (If I didn’t get this job, no one is ever going to hire me). Sometimes even being aware of these negative thoughts is enough to shut them down early, but challenging them with a little proof doesn’t hurt.

Rebecca Phillips, LPC, therapist and owner of Mend Modern Therapy, recommends keeping what she calls an evidence log for these scenarios. “This could look like an ongoing log of positive feedback, accolades, achievements, and so on,” she explains. 

Since it can be tough to recollect your successes in the moment—especially when you’re feeling low—Phillips recommends making a habit out of filing away these compliments and accomplishments on a regular basis. That way, when the failure feelings hit, you’ll be armed with evidence to the contrary, she says. 

4. Don’t be mean. 

You knew this was coming: Practicing self-compassion is huge when you’re dealing with feelings of failure, according to the experts. In other words, be nice and gentle with yourself, and recognize your efforts. “One immediate step you can take when you notice feelings of failure starting to creep in is to take a deep breath and tell yourself, ‘I’m trying my best, and that deserves compassion,’” Phillips says. 

When in doubt, try talking to yourself like you would talk to a friend going through this same dilemma. “Would you think that they’re a failure?” Khan prompts. “What words of advice or encouragement would you offer them? How can you extend a little bit of that to yourself? What kind of support would you need in that moment?”

5. Shift your focus from your goals to your values.

There’s nothing wrong with setting goals and working to accomplish them. But focusing solely on those goalposts can make any deviation feel like a huge deal. Say your dream is to go to a specific university—and you don’t get in. “I could interpret that as me failing at that goal, but if I look at the values that I had along the way instead, I can remind myself that I still worked hard, which aligns with my values of perseverance and dedication,” Khan says. (Here’s a great way to figure out what your values are). 

And, in the face of a perceived failure, your values can help you decide what to do next. Maybe you’ll reapply to the same school because you believe strongly in trying again. Or you might reflect and realize another school is a great match because of how it aligns with your other values, like being in a location that allows you to connect with nature and or be close to your family. 

“When we look at our values in addition to our goals, it helps us focus on the process and not just the outcome,” Khan says. “So, even if it doesn’t go exactly like we want at the end, the kind of person we are and the type of life we live along the way also matters.”

6. Look for lessons and opportunities for growth. 

When things go wrong, you might be tempted to go full Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and never think about them again. But it can be really helpful (albeit a little cringeworthy) to reflect on a failure constructively. 

“We want to take an honest look at our contribution to the situation to see if we can adjust,” Phillips says, whether you’re unpacking what led to a specific outcome or identifying patterns that may be holding you back. The key is to remain curious and objective rather than judgy in your self-assessment, she adds.

Maybe you blew an interview. Despite what your first thought might be, it’s probably not because you totally suck and will never get the job you want, ever. Among the more likely scenarios: maybe you didn’t prepare enough, or maybe you weren’t interested enough in the job to fake enthusiasm. These are helpful clues to have in your job search.

“Reflecting on missteps non-judgmentally and with curiosity can teach us about who we are, what works and doesn’t work for us, what we care about, and who we want to be,” Khan says. 

7. Reflect on what else might be going on.

If the feeling of failure is hanging around no matter what you do, it’s worth exploring whether there are other issues at play. “Chronic feelings of failure are often the result of deeper unresolved emotional experiences,” Phillips says, noting that our perception of our mistakes and setbacks can be influenced by external sources like the messages we received growing up. 

While you can connect some of these dots yourself—like recognizing how you’ve internalized certain family expectations or unpacking the relationship between your self-worth and your career—don’t hesitate to dig in with a professional if possible. According to Phillips, you may also be dealing with broader mental health concerns like depression, anxiety, or burnout, which can exacerbate these feelings (and vice versa). 

“Finding a therapist who can help you work on healing the deeper wounds that contribute to these feelings can be life-altering for your internal and external growth,” Phillips says. 

The post 7 Tips for Anyone Who Feels Like a Failure appeared first on Wondermind.

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How to Find a Movement Practice That Actually Brings You Joy

Exercise should be an act of self-love—not a chore you absolutely dread. ByAmy Marturana Winderl

You hear it all the time: Movement makes you feel good! Sad? Go for a mental health walk. Anxious? Get some exercise. Lonely? Join a run club. But if you’ve never been the person who enjoys getting sweaty and breathless, you might feel like this advice seriously misses the mark. Here’s the thing: Movement really can do wonders for your mental health—but not if you’re miserable doing it. That’s why finding something that you actually enjoy is clutch.  

You’re certainly not alone if you’ve been wanting to exercise more but don’t really know where to start. According to ASICS’ Move Her Mind Global Study, which surveyed 24,772 people across 40 countries, 51% of women are dissatisfied with their current exercise levels and are not exercising as much as they would like to. At the same time, women who do exercise regularly report feeling happier, more confident, more energized, less stressed, and less frustrated. (Endorphins, man!) 

But just going for a run or joining a gym isn’t guaranteed to boost your mood. “You want it to be something that you don’t have to do but something you look forward to,” says licensed clinical psychologist Nina Polyné, PsyD, Wondermind Advisory Committee member. 

So, if you’ve ever heard someone talking about how psyched they are for their workout and wondered “lol wut?” this one’s for you. Here are a few expert tips for finding a movement practice that actually brings you joy.

Take a values-focused approach.

The right type of movement for you is going to be something that aligns with your values and interests, Dr. Polyné says. So, think about those things first, and then try out some forms of movement that could align. “For instance, if you love dance and music, try out a dance class. If your values are centered around spirituality, look for some kind of spiritual movement like yoga or tai chi,” Dr. Polyné says. “Starting at the ground level of values will help you find what really lights you up.”

This also means considering the social aspect of exercise. Are you extroverted and community-oriented, or would you prefer to exercise solo? If you’re taking a group class, do you prefer a competitive environment or something more chill? That can help you narrow down important aspects of your routine—maybe finding a crew to exercise with is critical for maximizing your joy, or simply heading to the yoga studio early to chit-chat is what you need to fully fill your cup. 

It’s also not a bad idea to think about your motivation. What are you looking to get out of a movement practice? Do you want to improve your physical health? Do you want to connect more with your body and feel stronger and more confident? Do you want a healthy outlet to blow off some steam? Maybe you just want to do something for yourself—and there’s no shame in that! “Finding your motivation will really help you stay inspired,” Dr. Polyné says. 

Think about what’s actually realistic for you.

According to the ASICS study, the most common barriers preventing women from exercising as much as they’d like included too many other commitments, lack of time, and cost. Relatable! So, look for something that is convenient (in terms of both location and time) and affordable. Removing as many hurdles as possible will make it easier to feel like movement adds to your life instead of taking away. 

Dr. Polyné also suggests getting out in front of any other potential barriers. “People don’t usually want to think about what can go wrong because it will deter them, but planning ahead helps you be more confident,” she explains. For example, maybe you really, really want to go for a mindful walk every day, but you live in Seattle, where it rains a lot. If that’s the movement that brings you joy, figure out a plan B that you can turn to on days when the weather is not cooperating. Maybe that means walking at your tread desk or doing a stationary bike ride while listening to a meditation. Whatever it is, making sure your movement practice fits into your life means being prepared for those roadblocks that are likely to come up.

Pay attention to how you feel as you move.

When you’re trying out a new type of exercise, Dr. Polyné suggests paying close attention to how your body is responding to it. That’ll clue you into whether or not that movement is the right one for you. Is your body tense? Are you ruminating or running through your to-do list over and over instead of focusing your thoughts in the present? Do you feel constricted or self-conscious? Are you counting down the minutes until you can leave the class?

“Those are signs you’re not doing something that lights you up,” Dr. Polyné says. “You want to stay focused on activities that keep you in the present moment.” Maybe that’s a mindful walk, a run, a yoga flow, or a challenging HIIT class. It’ll be different for every person, and simply tuning into your mind and body and reflecting after you’re done is one of the best ways to figure out what’s right for you. 

Show yourself compassion and grace.

The truth is that you may try some movement practices and think, Wow, this really isn’t for me. And that’s totally fine. Just because your friend loves running doesn’t mean you’re going to love it too. If that happens, show yourself compassion and give yourself permission to let it go and try something else, Dr. Polyné says. There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t like running (or boxing or yoga or whatever it may be); not everyone will.

Similarly, if you’re interested in a form of movement but you’re having a hard time getting into it or feeling like you’re not catching on quickly and getting frustrated, try to be patient, Dr. Polyné adds. “It takes a good 60 trials of something new in order for it to stick,” she says. If you jog for a week and don’t feel inspired because you didn’t make the progress you wanted to, know that sometimes it does take time. So don’t assume you could never be a pilates girlie just because you face-planted on the reformer the first time you tried. It happens to the best of us… 

But if you really hate something from the start, don’t be afraid to ditch it and move onto the next thing without looking back. Life’s too short to waste time doing exercise that feels like a chore. “You’re taking time away from your responsibilities and spending time on you, and that’s a big part of self-love,” Dr. Polyné says. “Doing something that brings you joy and not apologizing for it is an act of self-love. And you deserve it.”

The post How to Find a Movement Practice That Actually Brings You Joy appeared first on Wondermind.