Stories Link Copied 08.08.24

Here’s How Olympians Actually Get to Sleep Before a Big Event

The stakes aren’t low. ByEmily Abbate

We’ve all been there: It’s the night before an interview, a race, an early flight, or some other high-stakes thing you need to be rested or wake up early for (or both!). You’re snuggled up in bed, wide awake, and your inner voice starts to panic: Why am I not asleep yet? This is going to be so bad tomorrow! GO TO SLEEP.

For Olympians competing in multiple events, the pressure can be even more intense. Sure, it’s all relative, but still, their athletic careers and even their legacies are on the line! So, if you’re like us, that might leave you wondering, um, how do they fall asleep before a competition, and can I have some?

Turns out, you can! We caught up with current and former Olympic athletes to find out how they sleep the night before their biggest moments, and their tricks translate pretty well to our non-Olympic lives. From soothing pre-bed routines to no-fail bedtime TV, here’s how six Olympians get Zs before the biggest moments of their lives. 

1. Melatonin, FTW.

“I’ve actually got chronic insomnia, and I really struggle to fall asleep in general. I take a moderately high dose of magnesium that relaxes me (also I notice better recovery on it), and then five or six grams of melatonin. FWIW, it’s hard to find NSF-backed brands, but I float between Pure Encapsulations and Momentous. It works most nights.” —Molly Seidel, 2020 Olympic Bronze Medalist

[Editor’s note: Always talk to your primary care provider before adding supplements into your routine, since even over-the-counter options can interact with certain medications, health conditions, and food/drinks.] 

2. Prepare for the worst.

“Just like I prepare for competition, I’m also at the point where I know how to prepare for a bad sleep. I’ve had a bad sleep before a training session, told my coach I didn’t sleep well before showing up, and felt super anxious. But sometimes, practicing after a bad night of sleep is the reassurance I need. It shows me that I’m capable of showing up when things don’t go as I’d like. As someone who otherwise prefers 10 hours of sleep, it’s good to know that I can respond to the uncontrollable.” —Chase Ealey, 2024 Shot Put Olympian, Paris

3. Unplug.

“I really make a strong effort to disconnect from technology a couple hours before bed, especially my phone. Instead of scrolling, I love to read and spend time with my loved ones. That helps me feel a lot more at ease before I close my eyes.” —Valarie Allman, 2x Olympic Gold Medalist in the Discus, Tokyo, Paris

4. Plan ahead.

“During the late luteal phase of my cycle, I know I’m going to have a higher body temperature, which could mean I won’t sleep as well. So, in order to accommodate for that before competition, I turn down the air conditioning a couple of degrees. Sleeping in a cooler room helps me, so does wearing a sleep mask and using the mindfulness app Open to quiet my mind—even if it’s just for 10 minutes.” —Colleen Quigley, 2016 Steeplechase Olympian, Rio

5. Organize your space.

“I really like to prioritize an early bedtime and slow-down routine every night, especially before competitions. So that means trying to have a similar time frame of getting into bed. And before I do that, I make sure to have everything in my space organized. It helps me find my calm.” —Jordan Larson, Volleyball, 4X Olympian, 3X Olympic Medalist in Volleyball

6. When in doubt, turn on Seinfeld.

“I’m a big fan of turning on a comfort show but not actually watching it on the screen. Instead, I put in my headphones, set a timer for 35 minutes so it shuts off automatically, and focus on something that has nothing to do with competition. This helps me pull my brain away from whatever I’m worrying about. My go-to is Seinfeld, and it can be any episode.” —Aisha Praught-Leer, 2X Olympian, Steeplechase (2016), 1500m (2020)

The post Here’s How Olympians Actually Get to Sleep Before a Big Event appeared first on Wondermind.

Q&A Link Copied 03.06.24

Solomon Thomas Is Talking About His Feelings in the Locker Room

The NFL defensive lineman knows how important—and how brave—it is to be vulnerable. ByCasey Gueren

Solomon Thomas was about seven weeks into the NFL season last year when he started making sourdough bread. “I wasn’t playing well, I wasn’t feeling good mentally. And I was like, I need to do something. I need to break the routine of going home and just thinking about football.” Pretty soon he was making a few loaves a week for his teammates, and some of the other New York Jets players got in on the action too. “I know it doesn’t sound like a mental health thing, but it was so therapeutic for me to have a hobby outside of football to go home to.” 

Baking bread is hardly the only tool in Thomas’s mental fitness toolkit. The defensive lineman tells Wondermind his mental health routine involves therapy, meditation, journaling, exercising, getting outside, and plenty of deep conversations with friends. 

Thomas never expected to be a mental health advocate and co-founder of a mental health foundation. Then, six years ago, he lost his sister Ella to suicide, and everything changed. Out of unthinkable heartache, The Defensive Line was born. “Our mission is to end the epidemic of youth suicide, especially for young people of color, by transforming the way we connect and communicate over mental health,” says Thomas, who was recently awarded the 2023 Heisman Humanitarian Award. 

The foundation, which he co-founded with his parents, brings suicide prevention programs into schools, businesses, and collegiate sports programs to better equip anyone in a mentorship role (teachers, coaches, etc.) to spot the warning signs, respond in a crisis, and create a safe space to share what’s going on. “When I was growing up in school, by the time I got home, I wasn’t going to talk to [my parents] about my feelings. The people who were going to see my changes in behavior were my teachers, my coaches. And it’s the same thing at work,” says Thomas. “Just trying to train everyone to understand mental health and the warning signs and the questions—I think that’s a huge part of suicide prevention and mental health awareness.” 

Here, Thomas shares more about his mental health journey, how he keeps Ella’s memory alive, and his strategy for getting more guys to talk about their feelings in the locker room. 

WM: How are you, really? 

ST: I am good right now, but at the same time—ever since the season ended on January 8th—I’ve been living in a very anxious state because I’m a free agent this year. So that means in March, I don’t have a team. I don’t technically have a job yet. And so I pack up my place in New Jersey, I put it all in storage, and I go live with my parents as a 28-year-old. I go train at home and I just kind of wait to see what’s next.

And I’m a homebody. Home, for me, is peace. So not having a home right now is hard. I’ve been home probably four to six days in February, and I’ve been traveling on the road doing a lot of things. So today’s been a good day, but definitely each day has been a little bit of a different struggle being in this space of the unknown and not knowing what’s next. And I’m just really excited to figure out where I’m going to be playing next, where I’m going to be living. I am good, but I’m also figuring out this anxious state that I’m looking at.

WM: What are some ways that you deal with that uncertainty? 

ST: I’m really thankful that I’ve been in this work the last few years. Now I have things to rely on to deal with my anxiety and to deal with this state of uncertainty so I’m not stuck in this state of being on edge all day. I can journal. I think it helps me out a lot, helps me stay grounded. I’m a big overthinker, so it gets my thoughts out of my head. 

Also I have more time now that we’re not in season, so I’m meeting with my therapist a lot more. We’re probably meeting one to two times a week, and she’s been amazing and really helping me to just get back in the flow of life and understand, hey, we’re in this state right now, but you can still function in this state and you can still have good days in the state.

And, past that, training is a big part of my job, but it also helps me out mentally a lot when I work out. I love training, I love being in the gym. It’s kind of like a peace for me. But also getting outside, getting a lot of sun. In season, we go through a lot of pain and trauma, so getting my basic vitals in—whether it’s vitamins, going on walks in the sun, listening to certain music—helps me be more calm. 

And then just having these conversations with my friends and talking about it. Last night I called a friend and we had a conversation about, “Hey, we know it’s about to come up. We know it’s about to be stressful and anxious, but I got your back. We can get through it. Good things are coming our way.” It’s positive affirmations we’re telling each other, but also just like, “Hey, we’re not alone. We’ve been through this before together, and we’re going to get through it together again.” 

WM: Can you tell us about your mental health journey? Is this something you’ve always been passionate about? 

ST: I really never thought I would be here. I was always sensitive growing up, very emotional. My parents raised us to know our emotions, to love and to be there for each other, and to communicate these things. But, at the same time, being a young man growing up in a locker room a lot and being in competitive sports, it was something that I never really did. … So mental health was never a big thing for me or something that I really believed in growing up, but it became a huge passion of mine. 

In 2018, I lost my sister to suicide, and my family and I were thrown into this mental health world, and it was just a world we knew nothing about. Ella died by suicide, but people never talked about it. They would talk about Ella dying and Ella not being here, but it was never: “Why isn’t Ella here? What signs did we miss? Did you know this about Ella?” It was just something we didn’t talk about, and it kind of threw me and my family into this very empty world where we felt alone. We felt like we couldn’t talk about it. We felt like people weren’t there for us. People were there for us—we had the most amazing support in the world—but around the subject of mental health, we didn’t feel like people were there for us so we could have that conversation. 

There’s no right way to handle that type of death, but I didn’t handle it correctly. I kind of suppressed my emotions. I was told: Be strong for your parents, give it to God, pray about it and you’ll be fine. In my head, I’m like, OK, people go through this all the time. People lose people. I’m going to be OK. And I kept trying to move on that way. I’d lost loved ones before, but my sister was my person. She was my constant in this world of moving around all the time. She was a person who made me feel like I wasn’t weird. She made me feel normal, and she made me feel validated. And not having her here, it was a new feeling and sensation of being alone and being empty.

So I would suppress these emotions, and then my world just kept getting darker and darker. And it got to a point where the season had started and I had just gotten a concussion and I was alone a lot. You have to sit in a dark room after concussion. And I started getting these deep, dark thoughts—thoughts I never thought I would have before. And I kept judging myself for these thoughts. Then you get in this pattern of not wanting to wake up, not wanting to go to sleep, and I’m stuck in suicidal ideation—not even knowing what that meant at the time—and just in a really hard place. 

One morning before work, my general manager, John Lynch, came up to me and he was like, hey, so we know you’re struggling and we got your back, and if you need help, we got you. At this time, I had been refusing to go to therapy. … I had seen a sports psychologist [when I was at Stanford University] for a little bit. And I went back to her for one session and she asked me that question—she said, “How are you doing, really?” And I just started bawling, crying in the session and talking about Ella and how much I missed her and how much I’m struggling. And at the end of the session, she told me, “Hey, Solomon, you need to get better help than me. I’m not cut out for what you’re going through.” After that, I was like, That’s my sign. Therapy’s not for me. If she can’t handle me, who can? And then, going back to John, that conversation lifted the weight off my shoulders. And after that, I was finally able to get help.

From going to therapy, I learned how to understand my depression, understand my sadness, to talk about it, to put it into words. She taught me how to have coping mechanisms when these things come up. She taught me that it’s OK to cry. It’s OK to feel this. You don’t have to feel good right now. You’re not supposed to feel good right now. You’re learning how to live again. 

So my philosophy and my family’s philosophy is: If doing this work, having these talks, putting my vulnerability and my deep dark secrets out there—which is something I never thought I’d be doing—if that saves one life, if that saves one person from going through the pain that Ella went through, or if that saves one family from going through the pain that we go through for missing Ella, it’s all worth it. 

Of course, the one thing I would change about this whole journey is Ella being here. I want her here more than anything. But going through this journey, I’ve learned a new way to live, a new way to connect with people, a new way to see life. And I wouldn’t change that, because we get this one life and I want to feel it, and I want to help people, and I want to be here and make a difference. And I think this is my way, and this has been my calling.

WM: As you mentioned, feelings probably don’t come up in the locker room often. What advice would you give to men who are still apprehensive about discussing their mental health or seeking professional help? 

ST: First of all, I would like to say in the locker room we have started to talk about it! We have a corner in the Jets locker room—it’s an older vet group, guys that know my story—and we’ll talk about therapy. And sometimes the younger guys come around and they’ll start listening. So [we’re doing our best] to change the status quo of locker room talk. 

But, to answer the question, for men, I just try to tell ’em: Hey, there’s no shame in talking about your feelings. There’s no weakness in being vulnerable. There’s no weakness in being sensitive or being able to feel. We always talk about being strong, tough men and being masculine, and we want all those things. If you just go through your day and tell someone you’re fine all day—that’s easy. That’s not strength. But how hard is it for a man to go to someone and tell them how they’re feeling? That is strength, that is real vulnerability. That is real power. So I try to tell guys, if you want to be that strong man, you talk about these things. We have these hard conversations. 

Part of being the man that guys talk about all the time is being the best. And if you want to be your best self, you have to know yourself the best. And the best way that I know how to do that is through therapy. You learn: Why do I like these things? Why do I feel these things? How do I put it into words, how do I talk about these things? You get to know yourself so well. 

Another thing that I tell guys is, from an athlete perspective, when I was going through that dark time in San Francisco after my sister died, I wasn’t playing well. I didn’t really care about playing. I was still giving my all, but things weren’t working out. Then I started going to therapy, started getting help, and my mind cleared up. And when that did, I started playing better. My body was moving faster, more explosive, stronger. If you know anything about the NFL season, it’s really treacherous. It’s really hard. There’s no way you can get bigger, faster, stronger during the season. But by just clearing my mind and clearing my mental health, I was able to do that. 

WM: In the years since your sister’s passing, what have you learned about grief and how to navigate it?  

ST: Grief is such an interesting, weird, and crazy thing. I like to describe it like I have this hole in my heart and it’s never going to go away. My mom always says grief is like a wave. You ride the wave for a little bit, then it crashes again, and then you ride it for a little bit, then it crashes again. You don’t get to control grief. It will come and hit you in phases at any time. You never know what’s going to hit you. 

I carry my sister’s death with me a lot better now, six years later, but there’s days that it hurts like it’s day one all over again. I used to run from these feelings of sadness, depression, anger around her death, the anger of missing her, the guilt around missing her, the guilt around learning what to do later and all this stuff. But I learned when I ran from that, I let Ella actually die, and that killed me. But when I accepted those feelings and I felt them, I was able to connect with her. I was able to see what she went through and learn her journey and learn more about her—even though she’s not even here anymore. And that, to me, was the most powerful thing. I was able to feel her still be here. I was able to keep her spirit alive. 

When I cry, I feel like I’m honoring her. I feel like I’m letting her know, “Hey, I miss you and I want you here.” Or when I’m angry about it, I’m just letting her know, “Hey, I’m just frustrated. You’re not here, but I’m going to keep living for you.” 

I don’t know if I call it a coping mechanism, but accepting these feelings is huge for my grief journey and keeping Ella alive with me. 

WM: What is one aspect of your mental health that still feels like a work in progress? 

ST: I would say consistency, but also I would say self-talk. I’m very proud of how much my self-talk has gotten better, but it’s still a theme in therapy. My therapist reminds me all the time, “Hey, why are you judging yourself right now? Why are you judging 8-year-old Solomon? And I’m like, dang, I really am. I need to be nicer to myself. 

I think it’s something we all do—especially people who are in high-performance and high-competitive lifestyles. We’re very hard on ourselves. I can be hard on myself and push myself, but I can also love myself through it. So working on that and not judging myself is something that I’m definitely working on hard right now.

WM: Speaking of 8-year-old Solomon, what advice do you wish you could go back and give your younger self? 

ST: I think the biggest thing that I should have told my 8-year-old self is to love myself unconditionally. I don’t believe I really loved myself until two years ago. I’ve made this habit: the first thing I write in my journal, no matter what I’m writing, is: I love myself unconditionally. Because I went through such a hard time of judging myself, not loving my appearance, whether it’s body dysmorphia, not liking the way I look, not liking the way I make friends or how I feel alone and weird. 

So just to love myself unconditionally and to be authentically and unapologetically Solomon Thomas, however that comes. There’s one me, and I’m unique and great in my own way, and I should love that about myself. I feel like that would have helped me out a lot when I was younger, whether it was moving around and feeling like I couldn’t make friends or feeling weird and awkward, but also to understand that weirdness and awkwardness that I’m feeling makes me who I am and to love that about myself. 

WM: The NFL has been focusing a lot more on mental health recently. As someone in the mental health advocacy space, what do you think they’re doing right, and what would you like them to do more of? 

ST: I’m very proud of the NFL. Three or four years ago, they put out an NFL initiative where they put more funding into making sure players can get therapy, that their family members can get help, and that there are more resources and clinicians available. I’m very proud of them for that. And also, this past year, they’ve been picking up more of The Defensive Line’s work and other foundations, like Dak Prescott’s foundation, Faith Fight Finish. And for the Super Bowl commercials, there was a big mental health push in those as well. So I’m very thankful for that. But I do think the NFL definitely does need to do a better job in a lot of ways. And the first way I’ll say is educating these coaches and the GMs [general managers] and the guys who are making the decisions.

A lot of us now are getting more in tune with our mental health and accepting it, but a lot of the people who are not OK with it are the people who are supposed to be the mentors, the heads of the building making decisions. And I do feel like that plays a role in decision making or small things throughout the season. And I feel that has guys being reluctant to ask for help or to go to the clinician. And I think that’s a mentality that needs to change. The coaches, GMs, player personnel owners need to be educated a lot more and understand that, hey, we’re human beings. I know this is a business, but also you need to care about us in that aspect too. If I’m the owner, if I’m a GM, if I want my team to be the best, I want them to be the best human beings and people, because, like I said, this mental health/physical health connection makes you the best athlete possible. 

Past that, I don’t think enough is done [for guys after they’re done playing]. The game of football—we all know, it’s no secret—it affects our brain and it affects our brain health. And then that affects our mental health and how we act. There needs to be more education and push for players when they’re done playing to make sure they stay on top of their blood work and vitals to see how their chemistry is changing. There needs to be more funding for guys to get therapy and get these mental health resources after they’re done playing. 

Because when we’re done playing, life’s going to get a lot harder, or we’re going to have identity issues, we’re going to not know what to do. We might have financial issues, physical issues, all these things. And this is when we need the mental health help the most, because we lose way too many players. It’s been really unfortunate. We lose way too many players when they’re done playing to these issues—you could call it whatever you want, you could call at CTE [chronic traumatic encephalopathy], you could call it lifestyle choices, but it all stems down to taking care of your mental health. And it’s a big problem. I’m proud of the league, but there is a long way we need to go, and I’m going to do my best to make sure I help the league in any way I can.

WM: What else would you like to share with our readers who might be going through a hard time right now? 

ST: It may seem super dark, but there is a small light of hope in the dark storm you’re going through. And I would say to hold onto that light, to love yourself through it, to know that you’re not alone. You’re not crazy for feeling the way you’re feeling. Honor your feelings, honor your emotions, you’re feeling them for a reason, and you’re not crazy for feeling them. 

Just understand that it’s OK not to be OK. It’s OK to feel the way you’re feeling. You’re not going to feel this forever. Things will get better. You are loved and you’re needed to stay here on this Earth. I always like ending with that, because there are too many people out there who are feeling those things right now and who feel like the only way out is to leave. And we need them to stay, because Earth needs them here.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post Solomon Thomas Is Talking About His Feelings in the Locker Room appeared first on Wondermind.

Q&A Link Copied 09.28.23

Jordan Chiles Has No Time for Bully Bots

Plus, the Olympic silver medalist explains how she’s healing from a coach body-shaming her and more. BySam Brodsky

You may know Jordan Chiles from her iconic Normani and Doja Cat or ’90s hip-hop floor routines as a UCLA gymnast or her team silver medal at the Tokyo Olympics. Either way, what’s always set her apart from the competition—especially in such an intense, perfectionistic sport—are her good vibes.

And as she continues to compete in the U.S. and abroad, deferring her UCLA studies to train for the Paris 2024 Olympics next summer, she keeps up the positive energy by reminding herself to strive to be the best version of Jordan Chiles and no one else, she tells Wondermind. 

That best-version-of-herself work is exactly what Chiles is all about lately, making time for her friends and family and prioritizing her mental health along the way. 

Here, Chiles talks about how she deals with online bullies, healing from body-shaming, why she decided to see a sports psychologist, and more. 

[Sign up here to never miss these candid conversations delivered straight to your inbox.]

WM: How are you doing lately?

Jordan Chiles: Lately, I’ve been training, doing everything that I can to stay focused, especially knowing that selection camp is coming up for the World Championships and Pan American Games. [Editor’s note: Right after we caught up with Chiles she found out she’ll be going overseas this October to compete in the Pan American Games.] I’ve been able to relax and enjoy the time with family and my little puppers, Chanel and Versace. So I’ve just been really focusing on myself and making sure I’m mentally and physically OK. I’m taking this year and this time to really just do this for myself. … [Ending my second NCAA gymnastics season] with [two national] titles and then going straight into the elite realm, it’s been really cool and really fun.

WM: How do you make sure you’re having fun as you compete?

JC: The fun comes from, I think, just realizing that the sport isn’t something that should stress you out too much. Obviously, it’s hard physically and mentally when you come from college back into elite [competition] since those are two different atmospheres and expectations. 

I really just kind of go out there. I’m not going to take any negative comments or negative energy that’s going to be thrown at me because, at the end of the day, no matter what you do, there’s going to be a comment about it. So I ignore that, and I really enjoy what I’m doing. My sport is fun. My sport is something that not everybody has the ability to do and has the opportunity [to do]. I really take that into consideration, and I make sure I can remember each and every moment that I have and just be the person I am.

It’s really cool to be able to just be myself. That’s where a lot of that fun comes into play. It’s me being who I am and enjoying those moments that I have, especially with the team, the coaches, the other girls. 

WM: Speaking of negative comments, you’ve talked about online bullying in the past. How do you navigate social media without getting too caught up in that negativity? 

JC: I call them bully bots. For me, when I was younger, my mom handled all of that. But now, I kind of just laugh at it. For a while, it was really hard knowing that people did call me names or said I didn’t deserve to do this or [were] looking [at me] differently, but, in my eyes, it always makes me stronger because I like to prove people wrong. It’s cool to know that I’ve been able to progress with the mental part of it. 

Actually, at the National Championships [a few weeks ago], I had to delete Twitter because there were a lot of comments that did hit me that day. Obviously, it is a day-by-day situation, whether you find good things or you find bad things. … But I look at it as: Not everybody has the ability to do what I’m doing, so they want to be involved as much as they can, whether it’s good or bad. … I either challenge people on [their comments] or just let it be. It depends. 

WM: What’s one thing about your mental health that you’re still working on?

JC: I stress a lot, and I don’t know where it comes from. I just had a conversation with my dad the other night, and he was like, “So what’s going on?” And I’m like, “Yeahhh, I don’t know. I’m just stressing. I’m stressed.” And it can come from many different things, whether it’s within my sport, whether it’s business-wise, whether it’s family or friends. I just never know in that moment where it’s coming from, so I kind of shut down, which is not good because then it’s like, how is somebody supposed to help you? That’s something I’ve been trying to work on—trying to speak to somebody to figure out where the stress is coming from. It’s been a work in progress.

WM: Are there other people aside from your parents you talk to when you’re feeling overwhelmed?

JC: Sometimes I’ll talk to my dogs—I’m not gonna to lie. I look at them and be like, “So this is what happened.” But, a lot of times, I will talk to friends or my sisters. I’m the youngest of five, so having older siblings is really cool because they’ve gone through a lot of stuff within their lives as well. My nieces sometimes will get on the phone [too, and] they’ll cheer me up.

Honestly, everybody always asks me, “How is it having your family as your support system? I feel like sometimes it can get overwhelming.” And I’m like, “No, not at all.” I’m very family-oriented, so we tell each other a lot of things.

WM: In the past, you’ve opened up about being body-shamed by a former coach. What have you learned as you’ve healed from that? 

JC: I’m going to be very truthful. The healing process took me a while because that’s something, as a little girl, you don’t want to hear. My body-shaming was about me being African American, my skin color, not looking like everybody, and my weight. So I think it took me all the way until I was 19 years old to heal. When it really, really hit me that this lady [was] really coming at me, I was around 14 or 15. So from that time period until I was 19, it was really hard. But at the end of the day, I learned a lot from it.

I learned affirmations to say to myself. I learned to embrace who I was. Sometimes I still get triggered when people say certain things, but then I have to remember it’s OK. … Healing-wise, I want to say I’m at 95%, but I really focused the last few years on making sure [I tell myself], Everything is not always going to be perfect, but you’re going to be perfect within yourself. You’re beautiful. Your body is perfect how it is. 

I always tell myself, I’m Jordan Chiles for a reason, and I’m just going to keep being her as best [I can]. 

WM: Now that you’ve come to this self-acceptance, how would you complete this sentence? Jordan Chiles is ______. 

JC: I would use the word resilient. I think there have been a lot of times when I’ve been shut down so much. [But] now I’ve been able to use my power, and I feel very resilient and [like] I’m allowed to speak.

WM: I know some athletes go to sports psychologists. Have you gone to any in the past?

JC: Yes, I was with a sports psychologist right before the Tokyo Olympics for about four months. She really helped me. A lot of [our sessions were about] my past history with my old coach. At first, I was like, I’m about to tell this lady my whole entire life and I don’t know who she is, but it helped me a lot. It helped me realize I could let go of things, especially my past. Obviously, it’s really hard when you go to somebody and you’re just like, I don’t know how to let go of it. [Everything’s] triggering. But she was able to [help me] not even think about it. 

I really enjoyed it. I do recommend to a lot of people out there, if you do need a sports psychologist or a therapist, do it. … If you feel like [talking to] your family or your friends isn’t working for you, sometimes it’s easier to rant to somebody you don’t know.

WM: Was that the first time you’d ever talked to a mental health professional?

JC: Fully, yes. The very first time [I saw a mental health professional] I was young. My parents realized that I did need help. It was just like, I don’t know what’s going on with my daughter. But for me, it was like, Why do I need help? I don’t even know this person, so I didn’t complete it. … When I was younger, I was like, I feel like [therapy’s] not going to do anything. It’s not going to benefit me in any way, shape, or form. So what’s the point? 

Even before my first session [this time around], there was still a lot of that back and forth [with] myself, wondering if I wanted to walk through the door or not. 

[But] my mom came to me and presented it in a different way. She said that I should look at it as a tool that’s available to help me, just like physical therapy but for my mind. She said if I felt like I didn’t want to set up another meeting after the first [one] that’s fine because it has to be totally my decision. I think I was just ready.

WM: What was the most important lesson that you learned while working with your sports psychologist?

JC: Knowing that there’s always someone that’s going to be right by your side, no matter any circumstance, whether it’s good or bad. You’re always going to have that shoulder to cry on when you need it. And then knowing that there’s always going to be a good lesson [you can] learn from [situations]. Take that part and not so much the negatives.

WM: We’ll end with a cheesy question. If you could rate your mental health right now out of a perfect 10, what score would you give it?

JC: I think I would give myself a 9.975 because there are still little things that I have to fix within myself mentally, and so giving that extra .025 will [get] me that perfect 10. 

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post Jordan Chiles Has No Time for Bully Bots appeared first on Wondermind.

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8 Comeback Stories That Will Remind You It’s Never Too Late to Do Big Things

“Remember that rest is productive.” ByWondermind

Taking a pause, a break, or a full 180 can feel incredibly daunting—like you’re somehow going to be “left behind” or fall “off track” as the literal or metaphorical play clock continues to tick by. But the reality is that it’s impossible to keep up a high-speed, high-performance pace forever. Taking a pause every now and then isn’t just recommended—it’s required. 

Whether you’re an athlete, an entrepreneur, or an artist, listening to both your body and mind when they’re asking (or begging) for a break is one of the smartest things you can do. Sure, it can be scary to step onto the sidelines for a bit. But it’s important to remember that your own personal timeline is the only one that matters, and it’s never too late to pause and achieve greatness. 

Not totally convinced? We asked eight inspiring people to share the powerful pauses that helped them come back even stronger. 

1. Simone Biles, Olympic gold gymnast 

“In my scenario, my body literally was like, ‘No, you’re going to get help right now, whether you like it or not.’ Because I kept telling myself, ‘OK, after this Olympics I’m gonna get help.’ But, you know, the amazing thing about your body is your body tells you what you need exactly when you need it. So that’s what happened to me, and I got the proper help that I deserve. … I think it was a long time coming. 

I’ve been in therapy on and off and, for me as a gymnast, I think the hardest thing with therapy is relating it back to injuries. Whenever I had an ankle injury, I would go to my doctor and my doctor would tell me, ‘In six to eight weeks you’ll be better.’ And in therapy, I would be in therapy for a year and a therapist will never tell you you’ll be better in six to eight weeks. It’s just how the brain and the body works. And so I would almost get over therapy like, ‘It’s been seven months, how am I not better already?’ 

Years later I’m in therapy, and thankfully I am. And I’m getting the proper help that I deserve. But it was very weird thinking about it like that. Now I’m like, ‘Oh I love going to therapy.’ I changed my mindset about it.” 

2. CJ Bott, International football player    

“This last season I reached a breaking point. I was part-way through the season, struggling through multiple injuries that I kept playing through, traveling with the national team, exhausted from the constant travel, and not looking after myself right. And, subsequently, I wasn’t performing. After speaking to my support network, I realized that I needed to step back and look after myself better, both physically and mentally, in order to come back stronger and be the best, fullest version of myself. I finished this season in the best physical shape I’ve been in—the happiest in the sport I’ve ever been—and my team finished the season in top form to secure a place in the top league again next season. 

In professional sports, we are often required to constantly push the limits physically, which also pushes our limits mentally. Although this gives me so much drive and motivation, and I love seeing what my body can do, I’ve definitely realized that we cannot always keep giving more to our game without giving our bodies more too. More respect, more time, more rest, and a bit more love. It’s so important to take a moment, pause, and give our bodies and our minds what they need in order to come back stronger and be our best selves.” 

3. Mandy Teefey, CEO and co-founder of Wondermind 

“I couldn’t sleep. I was about to enter my second week of being wide awake. I was frazzled, withdrawn, isolated, and miserable. I looked at my husband and said, ‘I have to go away.’ This was never a conversation prior to that day, but for the first time I knew I had to make my mental well-being a priority. 

During that time away, I gave in to the process. I learned I had been misdiagnosed and on the wrong path. I spent a month rediscovering what healthy was and what I needed to do to become myself again. When I returned home everything was clear. I wasn’t just myself again, I was the strongest I had been in a long time. My feet were on the ground, my mind was clear, and I knew there was a way to find peace to heal.”

4. Sarah Silverman, PsyD, behavioral sleep medicine specialist and holistic wellness consultant  

“At the end of 2021, after working on the front lines of the Covid pandemic for 1.5 years, I—like many other health care providers—was feeling extremely burned out. My role as a mental health provider in a major hospital center ended up being one of the most challenging times of my career. While helping others navigate the impact of the pandemic on things like mental health, sleep, and social relationships, I wore burnout like a badge of honor, but I knew I had to take a step back from conventional health care after feeling overwhelmed for months. For the first time in a long time, I took some time off and was able to prioritize my own health and happiness. During this break, I felt the nudge to start my own health consulting business and took a leap of faith. 

Fast forward a few years later, and now, I get to create an even bigger impact in the world, doing what I love to do: helping women improve their health and wellness through quality sleep, without the constraints of time-limited appointments, and with the flexibility for me to create better work/life boundaries. Entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone, but it’s the best decision I could’ve ever made for myself. My comeback was a chance for me to step away from a model of care that was no longer serving me or my clients and create a model for healing at the root cause level. 

If you find yourself feeling burned out and in a similar situation, know that you’re not alone. Give yourself some grace, and remember that rest is productive. Taking a pause may provide you with clarity as well as time to reevaluate what’s most important to you. And, in case you need to hear this, you get to decide how you want your life to look, and you can pivot your career at any time. You don’t owe anyone an explanation nor do you need to ask anyone for permission to do what’s best for you. Your happiness is more important than any job will ever be!” 

5. Emily Abbate, creator and host of the Hurdle podcast  

“I was let go from my last in-house editor position in December of 2016. At the time, I had my dream job working for a glitzy magazine, and so much of my identity was wrapped up in my former title. I was lost and unsure of what I wanted to do next. So, I decided to take a year for experimentation. Saying a lot of yes. Making ends meet by writing every article for every publication I could find (sometimes 30+ in one month), and even taking a leap of faith with my first solo international trip. There were moments I was absolutely frightened, but the throughline of 12 months of soul searching was that I am so much more capable than even I anticipated.

At the top of 2018, I stepped into my power and launched a podcast—taking my passion for storytelling and lending it to the strength of my own voice. That wellness-focused podcast, called Hurdle, is now my full-time job, an opportunity for me to interview athletes, industry experts, and CEOs about their highest highs and toughest moments. To level-up my product, I became a certified professional coach (liken it to a life coach) and use that education well-beyond interviewing. Now, I travel the world to host conversations and workshops. The show has almost 10 million downloads and I have my dream job rooted in conversation and community—empowering women everywhere to live healthier, happier, more motivated lives.

My comeback taught me that the best moments in life begin with self-belief, and that every single day is an opportunity to put pen to paper in my story of life. Each hurdle—no matter how difficult—is an opportunity to learn, if we only choose that perspective. And now, I know that my perspective is my true power.”

6. Regina Merson, founder of Reina Rebelde

“After several very stressful years in my career as an attorney with only three hours of sleep a night, my body started to shut down. A host of unexplained symptoms ailed me—from frequent nights of insomnia to random cortisol crashes during the middle of the day. After multiple visits to different doctors, it was clear that the issue was systemic, and if I didn’t take a true break, I would never get better.  

I spent the next 18 months focused on simple but consistent changes in my life—getting fresh air through the day, short walks, strict sleep schedules, eating well, and letting my body tell me what it needed. Easier said than done, as I always told my body and mind what to do, not the other way around. I felt defeated at first. I always prided myself on being ‘productive’ at all times but, ultimately, I realized that being wise was more important in the long run. If my body demanded naps at 9:30am and slow walks in the afternoon, I would comply. I decided I would slow down enough to actually listen to what I needed and indulge those requests without judgment or guilt. It meant stepping off the hamster wheel for a long break in hopes of regaining the full, functioning wholeness that I used to enjoy. At the same time, there was so much internal resistance—what if I gave in and fell into a permanent state of tiredness? What if I never came back? What if I had burned out forever? 

The recovery was slow and thankless, but about ten months in, I saw a glimmer of my former self and energy come back. I was encouraged. Fourteen months in, my blood work looked amazing and by 18 months, I felt like I was in my twenties again. I learned to never take my health for granted again and, most importantly, that the body has a wisdom of its own that’s superior to anything I could have imagined. The best lesson was the importance of taking shorter breaks and making frequent corrections along the way rather than waiting until full burnout is looming.” 

7. Linda Motlhalo, International football player 

“A meaningful pause I took in my life was back in 2016 when I had to choose between football and school. I decided to take a pause in my studies because I had missed a lot of work and I was struggling to keep up. On the flipside, I was given the opportunity to go represent the Senior National Women’s Team in the biggest stage, which was the Olympics. During this pause from my studies, what I did in my free time was to work on the subjects that I was really struggling with at school, and that really helped me a lot. [In] my comeback, not only did I pass my final year but I passed it with distinctions. And the advice I would give to anyone would be: Put in the work for the things that you really want and you will get the results.” 

8. Dame Sophie Pascoe DNZM, Paralympic & Commonwealth Games gold medallist

“I had a fantastic 2019 season breaking personal bests and setting World Record times. I had solely put all my eggs into one basket to achieve my goals in Tokyo. Nothing else mattered but the black line and my performance in the pool. Tokyo 2020 was set to be my fourth Paralympic Games and I had set myself an ambitious goal that I believed could be achieved by myself. I was one week out from our National Championships when Covid arrived, and we went into a nationwide lockdown. Here I was in peak condition and before I knew it the Games were canceled and later postponed to 2021.

I was in lockdown on my own when the announcement of the Games was shared with the world. It hit me hard grieving the loss of the Games and everything I had been working towards, questioning if I could continue for another year because, on reflection, I had put my personal life aside to be a World Champion athlete—for an event that got taken away in a day!

As lockdowns lifted and the world started finding a new normal, I was struggling to see what the future held for me. I was on autopilot at training, doing what I needed to do but with no real purpose. My incredible team around me noticed I had become a shadow of myself and confronted me to ask if I was OK—to which I shared that I was in a dark place and needed help. I took the time to work with experts to treat my diagnosed severe depression and have confidence in who I truly was again. After months of taking the time to find myself, I was reassured and came out confident knowing I can be Sophie and Sophie Pascoe ‘the swimmer.’ 

I believe everything happens for a reason and that a negative life-changing moment can be made into a positive with the right support network around you to allow yourself to be truly you. The period of pause where I needed to heal and nurture myself is the reason I share my story today. 

Fast forward to Tokyo 2020 Paralympic Games (postponed to 2021): I went on to win two Gold, one Silver, and one Bronze. From my darkest days to triumph, for the first time in my career I was proud not only of my success but that I had made it to what I didn’t think was achievable 12 months before.”

The post 8 Comeback Stories That Will Remind You It’s Never Too Late to Do Big Things appeared first on Wondermind.

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Why Valarie Allman Didn’t Feel So Golden After the Olympics

“I just don't think I was prepared for what it felt like to be a top dog.” BySam Brodsky

Not many people feel the euphoric pride of being a top-performing athlete on the highest (and we mean HIGHEST) level. Valarie Allman knows, though. She knows because she won the Olympic discus gold medal in summer 2021 and, almost one year later, claimed the first discus medal for American women in World Championship history (a bronze). She also holds the U.S. record for farthest throw in women’s discus. 

But intense lows can come crashing in after those highs, Allman tells Wondermind. She says she wasn’t prepared for how down she became following the Olympics. For Allman, much of it stemmed from the pressure to live up to that gold medal—and the fear of not doing so. It took a year to get out of that dark place.

FYI, Allman isn’t alone in her experience. A number of Olympic and Paralympic athletes we’ve previously spoken to have said the same thing about the post-Games blues (see: Dani Aravich, Brenna Huckaby, and Gabby Thomas). 

While she’s living in a better mental space now, Allman is the first to admit that she’s still working on keeping disappointments from weighing heavily on her. As she gears up for the Paris 2024 Summer Olympics, she’s trying to take a beat and enjoy her competitions pressure-free. 

Here, the ASICS athlete talks to Wondermind about overcoming rocky self-confidence, finding her footing after the Olympics, and learning to celebrate accomplishments without next-big-thing worries. 

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WM: How are you doing lately?

Valarie Allman: Overall, I would say that I’m doing well. For me, it’s actually really interesting doing this interview at this time of year because it’s right before my season’s about to start, and it’s after a long period of just putting in work and hoping that it’s going to show itself in a material way when that first meet comes up. So normally I’m feeling a lot of anxiety during this time, but I feel proud of the work that I’ve put in. I feel much more prepared than normal at this time, which feels really good to be able to say.

WM: What was it like adjusting to all of that increased attention post Olympics?

VA: In sport, I feel like the Olympics is one of those words that you say and people get really excited and they want to talk about it, and winning the Olympics is something I’m really proud of. But, truthfully, I wasn’t quite ready to win in a lot of ways. I wasn’t prepared for what comes with something like that—people’s joy and excitement they have that they can’t help but express to you. You know what I mean? As an introvert, it was hard for me to always be open to putting myself out there and talking about the experiences, and I wasn’t prepared for how much people would be wanting to share in that. And I think I kind of weirdly interpreted that as putting even more pressure on myself for 2022, which, looking back, was so silly to do. 

I should have just enjoyed that more and used it as a positive memento heading to the next year. But I took it as like: Oh my gosh, there’s more people following along. I want to put up better results. I want to do something even more spectacular. And I think that kind of took over, and feeling an awareness of people wanting to be part of the journey was really hard to accept. But being on the other side of facing adversity and feeling, in the moment, that the [World] bronze medal was maybe a letdown, now I say it’s a rose gold medal. I’ve come to some good growth about it. It’s made it a lot easier just to be able to talk openly to people and recognize it is a journey, and that’s what makes it so special, not just trying to win, not just being on top.

WM: How are you able to celebrate in the moment and not automatically look to the future?

VA: I’m really actually trying to work on all three things: How do I gain confidence and joy from things that have happened? How do I be as in the moment as I can to really take advantage of the things that are happening? And how do I also plan for the future to look forward to an event and be excited about it rather than stressed? … If I’m traveling to a new place, finding a restaurant I’m super excited [about] or having a family member come along—something that makes it feel like more than just that athletic data point—has made kind of the three elements of time feel better and makes it easier to find joy in different events that are happening.

When you spend so much time on the road or in a routine or working so hard, being able to share whatever the outcome is, good or bad, with the people you really care about the most just ends up adding a lot more meaning. So, for me, bringing home with me is something that’s really, really important.

WM: During competition, do you focus on emotions that you’re feeling or do you try to tune those out?

VA: I think it’s a bit of both. It’s impossible not to have good and bad thoughts. This last year, I definitely dealt with a lot of competition anxiety of feeling like I needed to live up to winning the Olympics and just needing to perform well and not be a failure, which took away from the excitement of preparing for competition and having that excited, ready-to-go-after-it feeling. … I think when I’m at my best, I’m aware of the nervous tension I have. I’m aware of the excitement that’s in my body, but, ideally, you try to do things that make you feel grounded. What are the songs you like to listen to? Who are the people you want to surround yourself [with]? Do I want to go for a walk to clear my head? How can I create that ideal energy where I feel definitely charged but in control?

WM: You wrote in an IG post that “it’s easy to let one meet really take a toll on your self-confidence.” How do you deal with that?

VA: It’s a good question, and I feel like I’m still working through a lot of these things. In my personal journey, I graduated college and the pandemic happened. I dove really, really into working hard and pursuing this passion. I won the Olympics, and I definitely didn’t quite know how to view myself last year. I figured it out but didn’t feel satisfied about it. And now, this year, I’m trying to use all this experience [to see] how I can be just more stable. How can I make the highs still feel really enjoyable and positive but not as high and the lows not feel as low? How can I show up and be prepared for the good and the bad, and then also walk into the next day and still feel grounded and content and more certain of who I am rather than still being affected by those performances? I think anytime you pour your time, your identity, your energy into something you really care about and it doesn’t go well, you do have to give yourself space to process that.

But I think you have to be able to, then, recognize the only way to move forward is to get yourself excited about the next thing and figure out how to turn that pain or that thing I wish would’ve been different into a learning experience. What I’ve tried to do is really surround important events with a perimeter of people that I love or things that I really care about so it feels like more than just that one data point and also letting myself feel proud of giving my all, even if it didn’t go exactly as I was hoping.

WM: When your confidence on the field falters, does that impact your confidence in yourself outside of sports?

VA: Totally. It’s tough. … Nowadays, I’ve intentionally chosen a pretty unbalanced life to really try to be the best in the world at something. And when things aren’t going well, the small piece of the pie that isn’t in that, it’s impossible for it not to be affected. For me, that is a big challenge of: How can I have one consistent identity, not athlete Valarie and normal-person Valarie? I just want to be Valarie and I work really hard at my job and I also have a fulfilled life that I’m proud of. But it’s easy to get so consumed with pursuing a dream, pursuing a goal, and letting your scale get really off. … I think it can be pretty jarring and feel pretty isolating when you hit a rough patch and you look around and realize how much you’ve given towards a goal. 

WM: So what are you most proud of outside of athletics?

VA: Oh my gosh, what a tough question [laughs]. I think that does show that this is really something I’m trying to work on. I really try to pride myself in being a great friend and a great family member. I think those relationships are things that are super [important] to me, [like] being a good dog mom. I think those connections are really what I’ve tried to pour myself into.

WM: What is the hardest thing mentally that you’ve ever had to go through?

VA: The Olympics has definitely been the hardest thing I’ve gone through. If I get emotional, I’m sorry, but it really was really hard. It really was really hard. It felt so  good to accomplish something that you worked so hard for, but then I think I was so caught off guard by just feeling so sad after and not knowing why. And something about everyone expecting me to be so happy and those emotions not feeling authentic was just really, really challenging to work through. I think it took over so much of how I viewed myself, which was really difficult even though it was something so good, but for some reason it didn’t feel very good. I don’t know. I don’t know if it just became the concept of feeling like I had to live up to it or [not knowing] what [to] accomplish next, but it just was really, really hard.

WM: Thank you for sharing. Do you remember how long it took you to get out of that headspace? 

VA: It was, honestly, this last fall. It took a full year. Because I think I wanted to fill that hole, and there’s something really therapeutic about getting into the same routine that I was doing before the Olympics, but I don’t think I was actually healing, which was the hard part. So, in a lot of ways, it was pretty liberating to not win World Championships because whatever self-imposed pressure I was putting on myself felt gone, which was really nice. 

I really, really loved this narrative I created in my head of being the underdog. It was so fun to be the one on the rise and to be chasing the people in my sport that always had been on the top. And I just don’t think I was prepared for what it felt like to be a top dog. The truth is, I think the fear of losing is so much more intense than actually losing. You lose a meet, you see the people you love, there’s a tomorrow—that part wasn’t actually difficult. But for months [when] something was coming up, [I felt like] if I didn’t win, [it] would dramatically change how I viewed myself or [it would] make me an imposter for winning the Olympics. 

All of this was self-imposed, right? Everyone in my life really was just supportive and encouraging. I just made this up that if I couldn’t do it again, it made me less credible, which I think was hard. But it was really in the fall that I felt more free, which felt so good. 

Obviously the next Olympics is coming up, and I think it’s been really good to have to work through this and recognize that so much changes in three years. Just because you win one Olympics does not mean you’re going to win the next one. And the funny thing is when people ask you about the Olympics, they’re like, “Oh, are you going for the next one? Go for gold!” And it’s really hard to go for gold, let me tell you, people. It is so  hard to go for gold. But I commend any athlete or any person who goes after something that is a big, big thing that they’re trying to chase. 

WM: What were some of the things that helped you get into a better headspace?

VA: It was a combination of time and people. … There was so much Covid testing, facilities were closed, and it didn’t feel possible to get together with friends during those times. Even the next year, I was trying to recreate that same routine and it just led to feeling pretty isolated, which was hard. So I think the reset led to me hanging out with friends again and doing more balance things: FaceTiming the people that I really care about, meeting up with friends at the dog park, talking with my coach about a lot of these emotions [all] made those identities of human Valarie and athlete Valarie really start merging together.

I really didn’t think I was going to get emotional. With people I’m close to, I’ve had this conversation so many times, and it’s just confusing. I think that’s the hard thing. And that’s just a testament to taking care of your mental health. A lot of times when you’re struggling, it does feel irrational or hard to understand, but that’s exactly why it’s so good to find the right people or get support or get help because it doesn’t need to make sense. You just need to be able to work through it and find the resources to help you understand it for yourself.

WM: Outside of preparing for the next Olympics, what are your goals for 2023?

VA: I really want to enjoy the season. I do have a desire to take in all the opportunities and competitions and travel and everything that comes with choosing this profession. I just want to be the best version of myself I can. I think I lost that a bit. When I’ve felt most proud, it is when I’m just comparing myself to myself, and I want to feel like I gave it my all and I’m proud of whatever that looks like.

WM: How has your view of mental health changed throughout your career and life?

VA: I have come to realize that my body will always follow my brain, which has just made me have such great respect and way more appreciation for putting effort and care into protecting and working on my mental health. I used to believe that training physically was really all you needed to be prepared for competing well as an athlete. But so much of it is how you talk to yourself and the lens [through which] you think about what you’re doing. And your thoughts can very, very quickly turn into feelings and then turn into actions. You have to just give yourself space to make sure that you feel good about the headspace you’re in and try to be intentional about working on your mental health.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post Why Valarie Allman Didn’t Feel So Golden After the Olympics appeared first on Wondermind.

Q&A Link Copied 03.24.23

Paralympian Dani Aravich Is Learning to Give Herself a Damn Break

And she gets real about the post-Paralympics blues. BySam Brodsky

Growing up, two-time Paralympian Dani Aravich didn’t see many people with limb differences excelling in sports. So, her mom got creative: Whenever she came across an article about an athlete with a similar disability as Aravich, she’d add it to Aravich’s “I Can” scrapbook. “[My mom wanted] to show me just because I was missing a hand didn’t mean I couldn’t be a badass, great athlete,” she tells Wondermind. There was a local high schooler who made the varsity basketball team and a pro bowler. Former MLB pitcher Jim Abbott also made the cut, she says. Aravich has the book to this day, BTW (it’s somewhere in her apartment bedroom).

Aravich has been in sports all of her life, but it wasn’t until after college that she even considered joining the Paralympic Movement. In 2019, she got her start competing in para track and field before joining the para Nordic skiing team (biathlon and cross-country skiing). In August 2021, Aravich competed as a track-and-field athlete in the Tokyo Paralympics, and six months later she skied at the 2022 Beijing Winter Paralympics, where she placed in the top 10 for two of her races. 

But her back-to-back Paralympic appearances didn’t come without challenges. Aravich says she experienced a period of post-competition blues. She wasn’t sure if what she’d given up—time with family and friends, the security of a full-time job—was worth the sacrifice. And it’s something she still struggles with sometimes, she adds. 

Her career in adaptive sports has ultimately taught Aravich that her passion spans way beyond the medal podium. She mentors kids through organizations like Challenged Athletes Foundation, NubAbility, and National Ability Center. It’s a special opportunity to inspire the next generation that “might not ever see anyone who looks like them,” she explains.

Aravich is now taking a break from track and field to focus on biathlon and cross-country skiing. As she gets ready for the next Winter Paralympics in 2026, she opened up to Wondermind about overcoming her post-Paralympics low, embracing therapy, and advocating for people with disabilities.

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WM: How are you doing lately?

Dani Aravich: I’m presently not good because [I have] COVID. I would say, lately, I’ve actually felt like I’m going through a lot of chaos. But it’s good chaos. It’s busyness, and I like to be busy. I just started a full-time job while also training and competing still, and learning to balance those two will be tricky. I’m coming up on the end of my [winter] season, and it feels like it’s just flown by, but I’m really excited for the summer and hopefully traveling a little less because our winters are so hectic. 

WM: You landed your dream job out of college working for the NBA’s Utah Jazz, but you ultimately decided to pursue a career in adaptive sports. Do you believe you’ve found your purpose?  

DA: I think that we all are searching for our purpose, and I think our purpose changes throughout different stages of life. For so long I thought, for me, it was to show that women could be these powerful, badass employees on the business side in professional sports, which was a seemingly male-dominated industry. And now that I’m no longer working in that career and I’m training and competing for Team USA, I thought my purpose would be to win gold medals and represent the U.S. to the best of my ability. But I think it’s transformed into a lot more.

I want to make sure that people with disabilities have a place in this world, and I think a great place for that to start is through sport. That’s why I love competing in the Paralympics, but I think it’s so much more than that. I want to make sure that the next generation of para-athletes has better opportunities than we had. We are so lucky, but there’s still a lot of work to be done. I would say my purpose now is to really try to continue the improvements in our sport for people with disabilities and ultimately see that reflected in society as well.

WM: Do you have any advice for people who don’t feel like they’ve found their purpose yet?

DA: I think it takes a lot of trial and error to figure out what sets your soul on fire. And that sounds very cheesy, but in my advocacy work, when I see something come to fruition or I hear companies or brands taking these steps to actually include disability in their diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts or sponsor an athlete with a disability, it really gets me fired up. I feel this feeling of excitement meets anxiety. 

You just really have to try everything. Anything that interests you, give it a go, whether it’s a hobby, a new job, even a new group of people. It might not always resonate in one thing. It might be a collection of things that really is where your purpose lies, so don’t get so stuck on one thing.

WM: You’ve mentioned before that athletes tend to feel empty once the Olympics and Paralympics end. Did that happen to you?

DA: Oh my gosh, yes. [Laughs.] They call the Olympic and Paralympic comedown the “post-game blues.” After the Tokyo 2021 Paralympics, I felt so lost, and you would think that I wouldn’t feel lost because I had something huge coming up six months later. I was one of four Team USA athletes to do the back-to-back [Paralympics] just six months apart. I didn’t have a lot of expectations for how I’d do in Tokyo. I was just excited to qualify and make it. So you’d think I’d be so excited to get back and start training for this other thing that was so shortly after.

But those few months after, I felt so confused. I couldn’t process what I went through in Tokyo. And after some analyzation, I think it’s because I gave up everything in my life for Tokyo. I gave up a job in an industry I thought I wanted to work in. I gave up money—a lot of money. I gave up security. I gave up a lot of time doing extra things I wanted to do: socializing, seeing people, going on trips, going to weddings. And it all kind of came down to this one 60-second race in Tokyo, and so when it was over, it was kind of like, “Was it all worth it for that moment?” Now that [it’s been] about two years, I can look back and say, “Yes, it’s all worth it because it led to so many other things.” But, in that moment, I felt really empty.

WM: What helped you feel less lost?

DA: I think that it really helped getting back into a ski routine. When I got back from Tokyo, I had a few weeks where I traveled for weddings and I was moving places, and so it really helped to get back with my Nordic team into our consistent training schedule and almost kind of wash away any thought of track and field and just focus on Beijing. It was extremely difficult still having all the COVID protocols that went into Beijing and living on edge that we can’t get COVID before we go over there and we need to be extremely safe. But having such a close-knit team with Nordic skiing—we all live and train in the same city—it was nice to be able to lean on them.

WM: You said in an interview that you’ve seen a sports psychologist. How was that for you? 

DA: Now, luckily with the United States Olympic & Paralympic Committee, they invest a lot in mental health. So, since I joined Nordic skiing, I was able to work with a team sports psychologist who I absolutely adored. He really helped me process emotions but also strategies. I’ve recently started working with a new sports psych, and I think that every athlete should.

And now I’ve also gotten back into more traditional therapy this past year. It’s kind of nice to have my therapist to talk about life [with] and then my mental performance psychologist to talk about sports [with], but I often see the two bleed together. So, when I’m in therapy, I end up talking about my sport, and when I’m in performance [therapy], I end up talking about other parts of my life. And that’s something that I think is unique with athletes. What’s going on in your personal life will most likely affect your sport, and what’s happening in your sport definitely affects your personal life.

WM: What’s the best lesson you’ve learned in therapy so far?

DA: To be kinder to myself, and that’s an extremely difficult thing to do. I like myself. I think I’m a hard worker. I think I’m fun. I know there are things I need to work on, but that’s also part of being an athlete: You recognize your strengths, but you also recognize your weaknesses. And when I say be kind to yourself, it’s giving yourself a break: a mental break, a physical break, whatever it might be.

I think I tend to sometimes overcommit to things and run myself into the ground and want to keep doing more, keep doing more because I want to be the best at everything I do, whether it’s work or my sport or even hobbies. But what therapy has taught me is you have to take time for yourself to reset, and that can be really challenging to do. It’s worth it because, otherwise, you can get to a breaking point.

WM: You post a lot about how disability shouldn’t be a negative term. Growing up, did it seem like your disability was viewed negatively?

DA: I don’t think I heard someone use the word disability in reference to me until I was a senior in high school. I was going to our summer league baseball game, and we had to purchase a ticket. The person who was selling the ticket said my price was less expensive than my friend’s who had just walked in. And I said, “Wait, why? I thought it was $10.” And they said, “Well, there’s a disability discount.” I got angry, and I said, “No, I’ll pay the $10.” And that was the only time someone had ever referred to me as having a disability. I knew I was different, and I accepted it in high school. It took a long time to get to that. And in college, it became almost like my identity that I was the girl with one hand, and I owned it. But, again, never really used that word.

It was when I started training for the Paralympics and getting more involved in Parasport that I came to terms with the word disability. It’s because the Paralympics are for athletes with disabilities—I fit into that category—and people, I think, tiptoe around it. But it is a definition. It’s a legal definition. I fit the bill, and now I want to represent that community and make this world better for that community specifically.

I think people just need to become more familiar with disability as a whole to understand that it’s also a very wide word. A lot of people who have disabilities might not ever realize that it is, in fact, a disability because of the place they grew up or the terminology that was used. But 16% of the world has a disability, and we need to start talking about it more.

WM: What makes you feel better when you’re having a bad mental health day?

DA: On a bad mental health day, I feel grounded by texting people I care about. Sometimes if I’m having a bad day, I don’t really want to talk to anyone on the phone, but I think it helps to send a text to an old friend, to a family member, even an acquaintance and just tell them that you appreciate them, that you care about them, that you miss them. As much as I claim I’m an introvert and I do enjoy being alone, having the reassurance of people you care about knowing they also care about you is a very uplifting feeling. None of us want to do this life alone. 

Oftentimes when I have a bad mental health day, it can sometimes come from loneliness because I do live a very lonely lifestyle, and it feels very selfish at times. I travel to get good at this sport for my own personal ambitions and goals. And, yes, we wear a Team USA jersey and represent our country, but at the end of the day, it is our own life and our own careers. So sometimes when I’m feeling down about that and feeling like I missed all these get-togethers or these weddings—people are growing together while I feel like I’m growing apart doing what I do for work—it feels good to have reminders that people do care about you, respect what you’re doing, cheer you on, and understand that you’ll try your best even though you might not always be able to show up.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post Paralympian Dani Aravich Is Learning to Give Herself a Damn Break appeared first on Wondermind.

Q&A Link Copied 01.20.23

How Naomi Osaka Deals With Anxious Thoughts

"It’s always OK to admit things are hard." ByShannon Barbour

You probably already know and love Naomi Osaka for her undeniable skills on the tennis court, being an inspiring entrepreneur, and, of course, being a fierce mental health advocate. When she’s not busy making tennis history collecting Grand Slam titles (four to date!), she’s using her platform to raise awareness about social and systemic issues (like police brutality), as well as getting candid about her own mental and emotional health. 

In case you missed it, Osaka made headlines in 2021 when she pulled out of the French Open after competition officials fined her $15,000 and threatened to suspend her because she chose to skip media interviews to prioritize her mental health, something that was unprecedented in the sport at the time and garnered a ton of support from her fellow athletes and celebs. Not that she owed anyone an explanation, but Osaka followed up the event with a tweet that opened up about her experiences with depression and anxiety. “The truth is that I have suffered long bouts of depression since the US Open in 2018 and I have had a really hard time coping with that,” she tweeted. “Anyone that knows me knows I’m introverted, and anyone that has seen me at the tournaments will notice that I’m often wearing headphones as that helps dull my social anxiety.” She went on to describe the “waves of anxiety” she experiences before she speaks to the press and shared that she would be taking some time away from the court. 

Since that break, Osaka went on to light the torch at the Tokyo Olympics, participated in more tennis competitions in 2022, and shared that she was focused on having “more fun on the court.” She’s also been busy making waves in other ways, like solidifying her status as a powerhouse in the fashion industry (she co-chaired the 2021 Met Gala) and forming Hana Kuma, a new production company dedicated to uplifting diverse stories and making them feel universal, in June 2022. And she’s currently on a mission to highlight the importance of rest, relaxation, and recovery for the body and mind by partnering with and narrating guided meditations for Hyperice and Modern Health.

Earlier this month, Osaka delighted fans with a quick lil life update: She’s pregnant and looking forward to returning to tennis in 2024. “These few months away from the sport has really given me a new love and appreciation for the game I’ve dedicated my life to,” she wrote in an Instagram post. “One thing I’m looking forward to is for my kid to watch one of my matches and tell someone, ‘That’s my mom.’” 

So, you can imagine how excited we were to catch up with the tennis legend and mental health hero herself. “I’m all about maintaining my health, and that includes both physical and mental health,” she tells Wondermind. 

Here, Osaka gives us a glimpse into her mind, including how meditation has helped her manage anxious thoughts, the reality of trying a new mental fitness exercise, and the mental health misconception that needs to go away forever. 

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WM: What’s invigorating you these days? 

Naomi Osaka: I have been really excited and moved by the stories I have been able to learn about and even share through my new production company, Hana Kuma. Our first documentary, Mink, is the story of [the first woman of color elected to Congress] Patsy Mink, and she really inspired me to start telling more stories about women and women of color. There is so much to explore and learn. It’s exciting.

WM: As someone who deals with anxiety, what helps you get grounded and ease your anxious thoughts?

NO: I have found that if I start my day with meditation, even if it’s really brief, it helps ground me for what’s to come in the day. While there’s no way to anticipate and stop unexpected challenges a day may bring—and for me, I cannot always stop having anxious thoughts—I have found that it’s better to eat, sleep, take care of my body, and take time for simple moments of meditation to help calm me. Little things that help me maintain a routine are also great at keeping me grounded.  

I love my morning skincare ritual, which includes applying daily SPF from my suncare brand, KINLÒ (I recommend the Always Golden Daily Moisturizer, which hydrates my skin and protects from harmful UVA/UVB rays with SPF 40). Also, using my Hyperice devices post-workout or after training helps with recovery. When our bodies are well-rested and recovered, it’s easier for our minds to do the same.  

WM: What has your journey with meditation been like? 

NO: At first it wasn’t easy, as meditation was an unfamiliar practice for me. The more I made time for it in my schedule and allowed myself to focus on breathing, the easier it became. Now, meditation is more of a daily ritual that I am excited for than something that feels foreign or a bit frightening. 

WM: What aspect of your mental health would you describe as a work in progress? 

NO: All of it [laughs]. But honestly, it’s always a work in progress, and we cannot expect perfection. Allowing yourself to have space to grow is really important. 

WM: What stigma or misconception about mental health bothers you the most?

NO: That if you admit there is a problem, you are considered “weak,” when it’s actually the opposite. Being able to share that you may need help or are struggling is a huge sign of strength.

WM: If you could give yourself a pep talk right now, what would you say?

NO: Be kind to yourself. 

WM: What mental health message would you like to share with your fans and followers?  

NO: It’s always OK to admit things are hard, that things aren’t OK sometimes, but always know that there are people out there who can relate to you and what you’re feeling. 

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post How Naomi Osaka Deals With Anxious Thoughts appeared first on Wondermind.