Pro Tips Link Copied 03.14.25

15 Tips for Making a Routine You’ll Actually Stick To

Step one: Do it for you…not your social media. ByLexi Inks Additional reporting bySam Brodsky

You might know people who lift weights, make breakfast, work on their novel, and probably contemplate world domination all before sunrise. Or maybe you’ve seen the GRWM and “5 to 9 after my 9 to 5” videos on your social feed. Maybe you’ve spiraled (as one does) about how to create a routine of your own—and here we are!

While your regimen doesn’t have to be that  intense, building a daily routine of any kind can help you meet your goals, stay organized, and stress less about making decisions, explains therapist Risa Williams, LMFT, author of Get Stuff Done Without the Stress  and a professor at Pepperdine University. Plus, creating a routine can give you a sense of control that enables you to cope with chaos, says therapist Sachiko Tate, LCSW. Something you can relate to these days, perhaps?

If you want to learn how to build a routine, these therapist-backed tips will get you started.

1. Be your own motivation.

While those GRWM videos are weirdly satisfying, attempting to live your life like one is much less so. That’s because we can’t count on cheers, likes, or even envy from others to fuel our habits, says Williams. Instead, we need internal sources of motivation to fuel this new routine. Maybe you want to feel more in control of your day or less rushed before and after work. Those are the kinds of goals that can feed your self-esteem and confidence, she adds. 

2. Set intentions you can crush.

The most important part of creating a routine is identifying the goals you want to work toward. Once you know that, it’ll be easier to pinpoint the habits that’ll get you there. And it’s never a bad thing to make those goals very realistic. Because if you feel like the outcome of your new habits is doable, it’s easier to believe in yourself. Then, you may be more motivated to keep going, says psychotherapist Samantha Zhu, LMHC.

Another way to set the bar lower on this whole fresh routine thing (in a good way!) is by giving yourself a chill timeline to achieve your goals. Having ample time to adjust to new habits can help you begin and maintain an effective routine, says licensed psychologist David Tzall, PsyD. Let’s say your goal is to develop an online presence across multiple social platforms so you can get your dream social media job. If you currently stink at posting regularly, don’t set out to hard-launch your new vibe within a month. Instead, focus your routine on posting more consistently to IG and build your content creation cadence from there. Then, you can progress to developing a routine that helps you post regularly on all platforms. 

3. Create a feelings goal.

While goal-setting can look like listing out tangible achievements, like “I want to read the whole Dune  series by the end of summer,” you can and should  think about your emotional goals too, aka what feelings  you hope to have more of by following this routine, Tate says. If you want to read more books because you feel like you should  be reading more, then please see yourself back to step one. But if you want to get your Dune  series on as a way to quiet your mind and feel more peaceful before bed, keeping that feeling goal in mind can help you stick with it when a Netflix binge is calling to you. 

4. Write down your goals and how you’re going to reach them.

Routines serve as a roadmap for getting to your goals (what you want to do or feel), but if you don’t write down your goals and the routine you’ll use to accomplish it, you risk not following through. Zhu’s recommendation? Use a simple checklist or get creative with a calendar or another visual tool (like a bullet journal or habit tracker) to keep track of your habits. You might need to make lists and write things down several times in order to make them “stick” in your mind.

As for the emotional and tangible goals you’re working toward, keeping a journal to get honest about how it’s going can help you see how you’re progressing and if you’ve noticed an improvement.

5. Start with the bare minimum.

Even if you’re very motivated to feel less crazed in the mornings or to get some screenless downtime before bed, that doesn’t always seem important when your alarm goes off or Netflix queues up another episode. You can’t always count on your “why” to keep up with your new habits, which makes starting or restarting a routine hard, says Williams. 

That’s when you can reach for the smallest, easiest task and begin building momentum. Williams calls this “activation energy.” It’s the “bare minimum amount of energy required to get you moving,” she explains.

Once you’ve gotten started by, say, getting up to brush your teeth instead of hitting snooze again, you’re more likely to keep going. You could also lay out your clothes and shoes for your run the night before or place an open book on your couch.

6. Give yourself options.

Having different strategies for accomplishing a goal can make it less intimidating. That’s why a “grab bag” of options is the way to go, says Williams. For example, say you’re writing a memoir. Amazing! But writing 1,000 words a day may not be realistic when you’re low on energy. So, maybe you have a few lower-lift strategies to get you closer to your goal. That could be brainstorming the next chapter or looking at nostalgic photos. “As humans, we have to be flexible. Every day you wake up, your energy and focus are different. So you have to constantly be recalibrating,” Williams says.

7. Focus on your own progress.

Sorry to tell you, but comparing your progress to someone else’s will not help your routine, says Williams. Perhaps your goal is to read one book a month. Yay for you! Getting down on yourself for not keeping up with a BookTok-er who reads an entire series in a week will just make you feel like crap. How motivating is that?

Think of it this way: They’re doing them, and you’re doing you. Plus, you don’t know their life or what they have to sacrifice to accomplish that goal. “Sometimes the people posting all that stuff are very stressed out, and they are one step away from burnout,” Williams notes. “You just don’t see that.”

8. Make the most of your free time.

One helpful way to create consistent, effective routines without going to bed before your fave comfort show airs or waking up at the crack of dawn is to fit new habits into open slots in your schedule, says licensed psychologist Jaci Lopez Witmer, PsyD. 

If you’ve been wanting to spend more time with your friend down the street but can’t bring yourself to go out on a Friday night, see if you can squeeze in recurring walks with them on Sunday evenings after grocery shopping and before your weekly Sunday scaries pampering routine. Whatever your ideal situation might be, see where those new tasks fit most seamlessly into your schedule. 

9. Focus on consistency.

This might shock you, but the actual tasks and timing associated with your new routine aren’t as big of a deal as the fact that you’re making goals and sticking with them, says Dr. Tzall. “Consistency is most important.” 

So even if your ~rituals~ entail flossing your teeth before bed, tracking your sleep, and having a glass of water at noon every day, repeatedly returning to those (even if you miss a few days) can come with a sense of accomplishment, an elevated mood, confidence, and motivation. Keeping that in mind can also take the pressure off of feeling like you need to execute a complicated routine perfectly every single day, Tate explains.

Of course, staying consistent looks different for every person, Tate adds. So if planning out every hour of your day works for you long-term, cool! But if you need more flexibility and just want to commit to a 15-minute mental health walk once a week, that works too.  

10. Lean on your people.

If you’re just starting out and are struggling to build consistency, consider tapping your community for help. “Telling another [person about] your routine or taking a person along can make you more accountable and give you motivation,” Dr. Tzall says. Just like you get up and go to work because someone expects you to be there (and your livelihood probably depends on it), having someone remind you why you started this new routine can make a huge difference. “Social influence can be a strong motivator,” he adds.

Having someone with you or on FaceTime while you’re on a walk, meal prepping, or organizing your closet is often referred to as body doubling, notes Williams. And it can 100% keep you accountable.

11. Don’t forget to be your own cheerleader. 

Discipline does not mean punishing yourself when you slip up. It’s about showing up for yourself even when you don’t feel like it and your goal feels so far away, says Tate.

If you’re feeling discouraged about your progress, return to your journal or just think of how you wanted to feel by committing to these habits when you started. Revisiting your initial goals can encourage you to get back on track. You’re not always going to be excited to drink more water or go on that hike you had planned—and that’s OK! Reference how you want to feel instead of harping on the blah-ness you’re experiencing in the present moment, Tate says.

Celebrating small wins and having visual reminders of your “why” can also keep your morale up, notes Tate. Give yourself a mental or literal high-five for getting outside 10 minutes before it rained. Put encouraging messages on your mirror or set them as your phone’s background. Make a vision board. Whatever feels like you’re cheering yourself on!

12. Embrace a different type of reward. 

One of the most feel-good motivators for sticking with a routine is rewarding yourself when you follow through. But while it’s important to celebrate your progress (whether it’s with a spa day, an extra 30 minutes of TV time, or a long shower), the external stuff is only helpful to a certain degree, Tate explains. The reward that sparks the most motivation (we’re sorry to report) is making progress toward your emotional and tangible goals. Yeah, it’s annoying news, but it is the truth. If you’ve been consistent with your routine, you’ll probably notice that you’re inching closer to those goals, whether it’s feeling calmer before bedtime or having more structure throughout your workday.

13. Keep it balanced.

When you’re laser-focused on your routine, it can be hard to stay flexible with your time and energy. In order to take care of our mental well-being and avoid burnout, you have to find a balance between structure and spontaneity with your time. “We need to have a little bit of both,” says licensed clinical social worker Julia López, PhD, MPH, LCSW. So even if you’re running with your pup three times a week or meditating for 20 minutes every morning, don’t forget to make a point to do unstructured chilling that has nothing to do with your goals or routine. 

A routine should bring you a sense of calm, peace, and stability, so if it’s making you feel even more stressed or out of control, think about whether your plan is too strict or it’s just not exciting you anymore or if it’s really necessary to reach your goals, Tate suggests.  

14. Be gentle with yourself. 

When you deviate from your routine and struggle to tap into your discipline, have a little empathy for yourself. “We can often feel like failing to follow our routine equates to [personal] failure,” says Zhu. And if you consider yourself a big loser for missing a day or even a week, then you might just give up altogether, derailing your routine before you even get the consistency machine in motion. It’s completely fine to take a break, whether you meant to or not. If you feel like this routine is making a positive impact on your life, the important thing is to get after it again.

15. Adjust as needed. 

As exciting and invigorating as it can feel to consistently stick to your routines, making space for adjustments can keep you from burning out. “If sticking with a routine is not effective or is too stressful, then you need to give yourself permission to say, ‘Let me try something else.’ Giving yourself grace to step back and evaluate how it is working for you is healthy for your mental well-being,” Dr. Tzall says.

If it’s hard for you to assess your feelings about your routine while you’re in the thick of it, you can hit pause for a few days or weeks, says Williams. Say you’ve been obsessively meal prepping on weekends. Take a breather this time around. If making lunches the night before or buying $20 salads stresses you out more, then you know what to do. Still, if dedicating your entire Sunday to feeding Future You really isn’t working, try buying groceries and making lunches on different days. Or make less and supplement with a couple of overpriced salads every week. Be honest about what you need, and experiment to find what works best for you.

The post 15 Tips for Making a Routine You’ll Actually Stick To appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 12.13.23

4 Therapist Tips for Anyone Who Is Very Overstimulated Right Now

The big light is ruining my life. ByLexi Inks

Ever stepped into a bar where 20 TVs are playing all of the sports, music is blaring, people are talking over each other, and then someone asks, “What’s new with you?” That intense blast to the eyes, ears, and brain is enough to make anyone say, “Woah, I need a sec.” But for those of us who often feel overstimulated, just a fraction of those visuals, sounds, or even smells can make us lash out or shut down. 

Though it’s not a diagnosis or a clinical term, many mental health pros agree that overstimulation happens when you’re overwhelmed by things you can taste, touch, hear, smell, or see (see: sensory input), explains therapist Mema Mansouri, LICSW. You can also be overstimulated by tasks and social interactions (like trying to hold five different convos with all your friends at the dinner table) that require processing info faster than you can handle, she adds. Basically, no matter the situation or the sense that’s being overloaded, the incoming sensory information exceeds your ability to digest it—leaving you totally consumed by it and unable to function the way you’d like, Mansouri says. 

Why do we get overstimulated?

If TikTok is any indication—where the concept has over 453 million views—this feeling can seem pretty common. Still, overstimulation isn’t just being enraged with your chronic pen-clicker colleague. This mental health challenge also involves an all-consuming sense of overwhelm that can become unmanageable and manifest as irritability, nervousness and jitteriness, nausea, and discomfort in your body—especially in places like your head and chest, explains licensed clinical social worker Neathery Falchuk, LCSW-S.

Sometimes that makes people shut down completely, other times it’s being diverted from what you’re working on or who you’re talking to and feeling like you’ve blacked out. It’s as if the only thing you can focus on is how horrible this sensation makes you feel, explains therapist Sheylah Trotter, LMHC. 

While some rock back and forth and cover their ears to self-soothe, crying, lashing out, or going into a full-on panic are also common ways people deal with that overstimulation, says Trotter.

Like we said, anyone can experience sensory overload but the debilitating kind seems to be more common in people with sensory processing disorders, anxiety disorders, or neurodivergent people—like people with autism or ADHD. That’s because these conditions can come with heightened sensitivities to things like flashing lights, crowds, and irritating sounds, says Falchuck. Plus, neurodivergent people’s experiences with overstimulation can last longer and feel more intense than what neurotypical people may experience in those same instances, making it harder to cope, Mansouri explains.

Whether you have a mental health condition or not, overstimulation could make you want to close yourself off to new experiences, limit how often you see other people, or keep you preoccupied with potential triggers and sources of relief, Mansouri adds. Obviously, that can feel isolating and even depressing, affirms Mansouri and psychotherapist Leah Cohen, LCSW.

If you’ve ever experienced this kind of overwhelm, you know how hard it can be to get back to baseline after being personally victimized by your environment. Still, there are a few expert-backed ways you can navigate those tough moments when they come up. 

1. Know your triggers and stay prepared. 

To prevent sensory overload sneak attacks, you can plan ahead by identifying those potentially distressing situations and the coping strategies that might work best, Falchuk says. 

You can start this detective work by journaling about or making a list of when you tend to feel overloaded (Trader Joe’s), what thoughts you experience in those moments (no one here knows how to be a human), and how you’d normally respond (sorry to the innocent cashiers), Trotter suggests. If you’re already in the thick of it and you’re able to, take a quick note on your phone of what is triggering you and how you are responding (or want to). Cohen also recommends taking note of which senses are most sensitive, like if the store music pierced your ears.  

Once you’ve gathered some intel on your brain, you can prepare yourself for future sensory pile-ons that might derail your day. Falchuck explains, “If you find grocery shopping overstimulating, a way to cope with this could be choosing to go at a time that’s less busy.”  

But you don’t have to rearrange your life to avoid your triggers. You could also bring along a sensory kit, or a bunch of items that can help you manage an influx of sensory information, Mansouri explains. You can pop on some noise-canceling headphones and sunglasses or even use some communication cards to help you relay your emotions and needs to others when you’re struggling to vocalize your thoughts in the moment, Mansouri says. (You can buy these cards online, but they might not make sense for your specific situation, so making your own to reflect your needs in the various settings where you might use them is an option too.) 

2. Use grounding techniques.

Once you’re in the throes of overstimulation, it can feel like you’re detached from reality and out of control, Trotter explains. Like any situation that gets you stuck inside your head, little tricks to help you focus on what’s really happening around you (even if that reality is an overwhelming one) can get you out of that mental spiral and ready to cope, Trotter adds. 

There are a ton of mindfulness exercises out there, but you can start by stepping into a quieter, less crowded space (like the bathroom or hallway) to practice deep breathing for a few minutes. Inhale through your nose to fill up your stomach like a balloon, and then exhale slowly, as if blowing on a cup of tea, Cohen says.

Of course, deep breathing isn’t for everyone (hello, my anxious, hyperventilating friends). In that case, you could try to distract your mind from whatever it’s fixated on by naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste, Trotter says. You can also mess around with a fidget spinner or take a whiff of an essential oil you like (mmm, eucalyptus).

You can also use your phone. Mansouri, who identifies as neurodivergent, gets centered by watching videos of sea turtles slowly swimming through the ocean, living their best sea turtle lives. But your choice of vid could be anything that has that slow movement and makes you feel more stabilized, she says. 

No matter what grounding technique you prefer, practicing them before an overstimulation emergency pops up will make them easier to lean on when you need them most, Trotter says.

3. Do something physical.

Some people may find that physical activity helps them cope with sensory overload. Cohen mentions that they’ve seen clients benefit from movement, like walking or other forms of exercise, because it can release stress and tension in your body and distract your mind from the trigger(s) and how terrible you feel. 

“For many autistic people, stimming [aka repeating certain movements or sounds for a calming effect] in their preferred way helps mitigate the impact of sensory input,” Cohen explains. This may mean self-soothing by rocking back and forth or shaking your leg, Trotter says. 

4. Find your people.

Rather than trying to isolate or deal with overstimulation alone forever, telling your support system what you’re dealing with—and showing them how to help you—can keep you from feeling bad about the fact that you feel bad, Falchuk says. So tell your boss you may need to turn off your camera in a Zoom meeting or ask your parent to keep a sensory kit in their car if you tend to feel overloaded on the way to school. 

You’ll also want to foster connections with people who understand your struggle because they can share tips, and the camaraderie can help you feel less alone. “The experience of being understood is so powerful, and the reminder of not being the only one who experiences sensory overload is incredibly validating,” Falchuk explains. 

Like a lot of these tools, it’s best to reach out when you’re in a chill state of mind to build a network of empathetic people for long-term support. When you have your community on lock, you can call on them when a crisis strikes, Mansouri says. 

Social media can be a great way to get plugged in. If you’ve been diagnosed with a condition like autism or ADHD, joining a Facebook group—like “Neurodivergent Adulting”—can provide a space for you to get support from other people who might also experience overstimulation. Instagram accounts like Jenn Granneman’s, author of the book Sensitive, also offer advice and encouragement for people who often feel overloaded. 

If you’re neurotypical or don’t have a diagnosable mental health condition, you can still find support through platforms like Reddit, TikTok, or Meetup, which host multiple stress relief and self-care groups where you could practice grounding and coping techniques, Masouri suggests. 

Finally, if you have a hard time finding groups that speak to you, consider opening up to someone you already trust and let them know what you’re dealing with and how you’d like them to support you in the future.

The bottom line: Overstimulation can feel impossible to control in the moment, but there are ways you can cope now and be ready to handle sensory overload in the future. By experimenting and finding what works for you on top of leaning on your support system, you’ll become confident in more settings.

The post 4 Therapist Tips for Anyone Who Is Very Overstimulated Right Now appeared first on Wondermind.