Q&A Link Copied 03.19.25

Amanda Batula Says Antidepressants Changed Her Life

"I feel so much more like myself again. I really lost myself for a few years there." ByKara Cuzzone

If you’re a fan of Bravo’s Summer House, you’ve probably noticed a shift in Amanda Batula recently. On-screen she’s joking around more, and she’s willing to get dressed up and go out on the weekends.

And off screen, Batula is staying booked and busy with her recently launched swimwear line, solo press interviews, and collaborations with brands like Face Reality Skincare—things we haven’t seen from her in the past. 

It’s a far cry from the version of Batula we watched a few seasons ago, and she says the change is mostly thanks to her antidepressant. “It’s just completely changed my life. I’m able to wake up in the morning and I feel so much more like myself again. I really lost myself for a few years there.” 

Here, Batula opens up about dealing with depression, the process of trying to find the right mental health medication, and how she takes care of her mental health while filming Summer House. 

WM: Were you nervous to open up about your mental health struggles on Summer House? What made you decide to talk about it publicly, and what has the response been like? 

AB: I wasn’t nervous at all. I feel like on the show over the last nine years, I’ve literally shown every aspect of my life: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’ve been very transparent and open, and this is just another part of who I am. 

I actually was excited to talk about it, honestly, because it felt like a sense of relief. I felt so lost for so long, and once I finally figured out that I was struggling and there was something that I could do to help myself feel better, I was excited to share and tell everyone, “Hey, this is what’s going on with me.” I was not proud to be depressed, but proud that I was able to share something and hopefully help other people. 

So there was no nervousness about talking about it, and the response was insane. After that first reunion when I shared that I was struggling and on medication, the amount of messages I got—and still get to this day—from people who thanked me for being open about it was amazing. 

People have said that me talking about how I was feeling encouraged them to make appointments with their doctors, which is so meaningful and heartwarming. It just makes me want to continue to share and be open. 

Maybe I’m not out here saving lives, I’m not a doctor, but I am helping people in some way. And if that’s the most that I can do, then that means everything to me. So I will continue being super vulnerable and open about everything that I’m dealing with.

WM: I know you’ve said that, in hindsight, you felt like your depression started as post-wedding blues and got worse from there. Can you talk about how it evolved and how long you were struggling before you realized you needed to seek help? 

AB: I think it was about two and a half years that I was really struggling. In the buildup to the wedding there’s so much excitement, so much anxiety, so much stress. You’re constantly on calls, emails, planning things, trying on your dress, just all this incredible stuff. The wedding day is so amazing. And then once it’s over, nothing happens.

Afterwards I was getting DMs from people asking me, “Oh, are you dealing with the post-wedding blues?” I’d never heard of that before. And I realized, Wait, I *am* just kind of sad and just chilling on my couch and not really doing much. So I never snapped out of that. 

Then it was winter, so I thought, OK fine, seasonal saddies. It’s just because it’s winter. I kept making excuses almost, like, Oh, it’s just the post-wedding blues. Oh, it’s just seasonal saddies. Oh, I’m just not feeling myself. Oh, it’s just my hormones. Oh, it’s just this. So that was two and a half years of, Oh, if I take care of this, it’ll fix it.

And then it was Thanksgiving, and I always go home for Thanksgiving holidays. My parents kept asking when I was coming home, and a day or two before Thanksgiving I was like, “I don’t think I’m going to make it. It’s too much.” The idea of packing and everything was overwhelming me. And that’s when it really hit that I needed help, because this is so out of my character to just not go home. I love being at my parents’ house. 

A lot of people in my close circle of friends and family realized something was going on. I was shutting down. I wasn’t communicating with people. I wasn’t going to any events or anything. So people would check in, but no one really knows what to say. My parents were the ones that were like, “You’ve got to do something about this.” So that’s when it really clicked for me that something more was going on. 

WM: Earlier this season on Summer House, you mentioned you’ve been experimenting with different mental health medications and trying to find the right fit. Can you talk about what that process has been like, and where you are in your medication journey right now? 

AB: I was taking one medication that made me feel a lot better at first. But then I started feeling so much anxiety that it was almost debilitating. I was feeling happier, but my anxiety was so bad that I couldn’t do anything. My psychiatrist told me that could be a side effect of that medication, so he put me on a different one. And I was taking only that for a few months. I also take ADHD medication, but I stopped taking everything else and was just focused on my antidepressant to see how that affected me.

Once we found the right medication and dosage, we added in some other things to really help balance myself out. I’m still working on the exact right combination and dosage, but I’m feeling so much better than I was after that first medication. I felt so good after that first medication, and the way I feel now, almost a year later, is ten times better than that. 

It’s a long game, but it’s so worth it to find the right combination and the right medication for you. But it can be a frustrating process.

WM: What are the biggest differences you’ve seen in yourself since starting antidepressants? 

AB: I text people back. I’m just happier. Doing interviews like this, I would’ve shot down every opportunity to talk to anyone about anything when I was depressed. I felt so lost and alone, and like I wasn’t good enough for anything. I was like, Why would someone want to talk to me? 

I just feel the energy and the desire to do things, even if it’s going to be embarrassing or not work out—that doesn’t cross my mind anymore. I was in a really dark place and now I’m making appointments, getting my hair cut, going to the nail salon, getting out of my apartment, doing things, making plans, meeting friends for dinner at the last minute. It’s just completely changed my life. I feel so much more like myself again. I really lost myself for a few years there.

WM: Switching gears a bit, you’ve been open about struggling with acne since you went off of birth control. How does dealing with breakouts in the public eye affect your mental health, and what are you doing to cope? 

AB: I’ve gone through so many things on reality TV, but I think that filming while breaking out was probably the most insecure and hardest time I’ve had. I’m sure so many people can relate to having one pimple on their face, and they feel like that’s the only thing everyone in the room is staring at. And I felt like that all the time.

It was happening at a time where I was dealing with depression too. So that was also probably a part of why I locked myself indoors and turned so many things down; I didn’t want people to see me. I was dealing with weight loss and fluctuation also, and there were so many negative comments about that. And then my skin on top of it, it was just so much.

Paige had worked with Face Reality Skincare and she influences me all the time. When the opportunity came up to work with them I was like, “Yes, I want to do it,” and it really helped clear up my skin.  We’re just getting started, but I’m really excited with the results I’ve seen from my Face Reality regimen so far. My breakouts are so much more surface level now, and they’re going away faster. So I’m really excited and hopeful for what’s to come.

You shouldn’t be embarrassed of your breakouts. The internet is so wild these days, with filtering and this idea of perfection that it literally made me become a hermit. It made me shut down and not want to go out. And that should not have happened. That’s another reason why I want to talk about it—my mental health and my breakouts—because we’re all dealing with it. 

WM: You’ve also mentioned that you deal with anxiety and feelings of overwhelm sometimes. What’s it like trying to take care of your mental health while filming? Are there any self-care strategies that you use in the house? 

AB: Yeah, it’s been a learning process. I know Ciara and Paige deal with the same sort of feelings, which is probably why we find ourselves in bed and on our phones all the time. I think we need that mental break, and we need to almost dissociate. We need to leave the situation that we’re in mentally and just distract ourselves with silly TikToks or whatever’s on social media.

That’s one way that we’ve been able to calm ourselves down while filming, and that’s why you do see us all in bed a lot, because it’s like, “OK, I need a break from all these people and all this drama.” Even if everyone’s having fun, sometimes the energy is so much that I’m like, “OK, I’m not here right now. I need to go lay in bed or take a really long shower.” 

And then when I come home, Mondays are my Sundays. I’m like, “Don’t talk to me. Don’t text me, don’t email me. Pretend I don’t exist because I’m doing nothing all day.” I put the dogs on my chest and I just have a day to collect myself. I allow myself that grace day to just feel all my feelings, regroup, and then go into Tuesday strong.

WM: If you could give readers who are dealing with depression one piece of advice, what would it be? 

AB: I think there’s two things that go hand in hand. The first thing would be to talk to someone—anyone. It could be your parents, a sibling, a best friend, or it could be a teacher or a co-worker. For me, it was easier to open up to people I wasn’t as close with at first.

When you say it out loud and you admit it, that feels like the first step to getting better. At least it did for me. And then those people can help hold you accountable and check in on you. If no one knows that you’re struggling, no one’s going to know to check in and help you out.

And then the second thing is to be patient. Finding the right medication and letting the medication actually do its job, it’s going to take time. It’s not something that happens overnight. It feels like it’ll take forever, but you have to be patient and it will pay off. There’s no quick fix, there’s nothing that’s going to happen instantaneously. You just have to keep working at it and it will pay off, and you will end up feeling so much better.

The post Amanda Batula Says Antidepressants Changed Her Life appeared first on Wondermind.

Stories Link Copied 03.18.25

31 People Share How They’re Coping Right Now

Jurassic Park, rage singing, and drinking kombucha in a parking lot. It’s all here. BySusie Moore

If you’re feeling off this year, you’re certainly not alone. Things have been happening at a rapid-fire pace, and we can only take so much. 

As a life coach, I know there are plenty of very mindful, healthy ways to relieve anxiety. But I learned never to shame a coping skill years ago. For better or worse, we all have our thing.

Maybe you’re an overachiever who lists 125 things you’re grateful for as soon as you crack an eyelid. That’s impressive and probably effective. But there’s also the healing power of trash TV and fancy candy. Whatever gets you through, gets you through. There’s no need to judge it.

While I wouldn’t exactly recommend a three-hour TikTok scroll at 2 a.m. while eating out of a box of cereal (actually, the cereal is fine; the TikTok spiral, not so much), there are a lot of easy ways to decompress while persisting through this very long year. 

Here, I asked people how they’re coping with stress amid the constant chaos. Some of their answers might surprise you—or at least make you feel less alone. 

1. Running errands

“I go to the grocery store alone. When I’m done, I enjoy a soda or a kombucha in my truck in the parking lot. I break off a piece of my $4 bar of dark chocolate and just take a moment to do nothing.” —Heather, 41

2. Taking a staycation on the couch

“I sometimes struggle with anxiety from world events, politics, and the breakdown of the village around me—especially as a working mom. So, I find comfort in the fictional town of Stars Hollow by rewatching The Gilmore Girls. It feels nostalgic and warm to return to a place where neighbors pitch in and the native language is punchy, quippy, and clever. Call it dissociation or a staycation on the couch, but it works for me!” —Kathy, 44 

3. Checking in

“My friend and I send a voice note to each other every morning stating our positive intentions for the day.” —Francesca, 40

4. Shifting your perspective 

“I sit and visualize the cosmic hierarchy until my problems become small and distant. Going from Earth to our solar system, galaxy, and 13 billion-year-old universe helps me see how small my biggest concerns are.” —Heath, 38

5. Doing something with friends

“Whether it’s lunch with a friend or a night out, getting out of the house helps me cope.  Even if I don’t want to leave, once I’m out I never regret it. It always feels refreshing.” —Danielle, 36

6. Focusing on one thing at a time 

“Being as present as possible in whatever I do keeps my brain from thinking too far ahead, even with so much going on.” —Amy Purdy, 45

7. Dancing for the hell of it

“I’ve been hosting virtual dance parties set to Y2K music and reggaeton (think Missy Elliott and Bad Bunny) and it has brought me so much joy! The positive energy shift helps me feel more creative, embodied, and confident as we all move through uncertainty.” —Kimberly, 32

8. Finding safe spaces

“Going for a drive alone tends to clear my head. Sometimes I’ll call a close friend who is a safe space and allows me to speak freely while I’m out and about. That always gives me a good reset.” —Jamie, 41 

9. Naming your existential anxiety

“I had a therapist who offered an interesting tool: He told me to personify my anxiety. Give it a name, dress it up in an outfit, put it in a real place, and then have a conversation with it like it’s a person. Ask what it wants or what it needs to calm down. Then ask it to go away. Then, the idea of anxiety doesn’t feel like a monster, but a tangible thing you can have a conversation with.” —Tim, 44

10. Just breathing

“Smell the flowers, blow out the candles.” —Cali Rose, 3

11. Watching good TV

“I’m watching Younger (and other fun comfort shows) on Netflix like it’s my job. While I’m cooking, while I’m eating lunch, while I’m folding laundry. It’s turned mundane tasks into something fun. This way, the horrors don’t take over my brain and it’s easier to do the things I need to take care of myself.” —JJ, 40 

12. Getting grounded

“I do the butterfly hug, crossing my arms over my chest and alternately tapping my shoulders in a nice, steady rhythm. Once my body feels safe, my emotions, thoughts, and the world feel more manageable.” —Kate, 41

13. Reading 

“I’ve been reading a lot of fiction whenever the overwhelm starts to creep up on me. Being immersed in another supernatural world allows my mind and body to take a break and just relax.”  —Jody, 36

14. Staying present

“These days I am using the monk, Zen master, and activist, Thich Nhat Hanh’s breath practice: ‘I feel my inhale; I feel my exhale.’ It’s that simple.” —Annmerle, 73

15. Getting out of dodge. 

“Sometimes a change of scenery is all I need to gain a little clarity, perspective, and hope that there will be better times ahead. Also, getting out of town reminds me it’s my responsibility to enjoy my life while I still have one!” —Tara, 37

16. Doing the little things

“Going to bed earlier, wearing my favorite PJs, expressing my gratitude for the day, kissing my husband goodnight, spending more time in nature, noticing the birds and my surroundings, being still, and trying to lift up at least one person each day helps.” —Natalie, 62 

17. Letting that shit go

“I pay attention to any thoughts that are weighing me down or making my head spin, and I intentionally release them. It might sound crazy, but I feel so grounded afterward.” —Lauren, 31 

18. Walking the dog

“I’m loving my daily lunchtime walks. I take my dog and leave my phone. We call it unplugging to recharge, and I swear that I sleep better!” —Krystalyn, 35

19. Matching music to your mood

“I’ll gladly turn to a rage song and scream-sing for as long as I need. Then, I’ll play something calming or joyful to get my body relaxed and grooving to a happy tune.” —Sadie, 41

20. Chilling out

“If it’s cold outside, I open a window or step out. If not, I get an ice pack or cold wash cloth and put it on the back of my neck. Splashing my face with cold water works too.” —Ashley, 38

21. Taking a bubble bath.

“I cope by making time to wind down at the end of every day. My favorite coping routine is a candlelit Epsom salt bubble bath with essential oils, a cup of tea, and a good read.” —Erica, 40

22. Watching movies

“I’ve been rewatching the Jurassic Park movies, which somehow feel very relevant right now. Though things get hectic, our favorite characters live through it.” —Serena, 46

23. Feeling the gratitude 

“I think of a thing I’m grateful for that day, and I try to expand that feeling so it encompasses my whole body.” —Courtney, 48

24. Using all of the tools

“I’m reading all the smutty books I can get my peri-menopausal hands on, staying off social media, and focusing my frustrations on ways I can make an actual change (i.e. local and state-level politics).” —Karen, 47

25. Riding a bike

“Cycling in the forest with my kids is pure magic!” —Carrie, 37

26. Using your phone ~mindfully~

“I am mindful of how I consume the news or social media. A wise woman once told me to treat my phone like a fork, only using it when I truly need to.” —Michelle, 44

27. Going on a walk

“I love walking every day at lunchtime. It gets me out and allows me to reset.” —Krysta, 38

28. Writing 

“Journaling my guts out first thing every morning when I wake up (without my phone) for 45 minutes is what I’ve done for 17 years. It gives my crazy thoughts a place to go.” —Anna, 45 

29. Being silly

“I mimic every funny sound my toddler makes until we both start laughing!” —Andreana, 36

30. Tapping it out

“EFT tapping helps me process my emotions, calm down, and shift my mindset when I’m feeling overwhelmed or anxious.” —Allie, 37

31. Making time for my friends

“Sisterhood is everything to me and my mental health. I’m not sure if they know how much I rely on them for this.” —Angelina, 39

Susie Moore is host of the Let It Be Easy podcast. 

The post 31 People Share How They’re Coping Right Now appeared first on Wondermind.

Stories Link Copied 02.26.25

15 People Get Real About Mental Health Medication

The harmful stigma around medication and mental health needs to end. ByCarina Hsieh Additional Reporting ByCasey Gueren

If it seems like the stigma around mental health medications is suddenly getting worse, you’re not wrong. Medications like SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety meds, and others have been the subject of some wild claims from Robert F. Kennedy Jr., newly appointed U.S. Secretary of Health & Human Services. During and since his confirmation hearing, RFK Jr. spread harmful misconceptions about these evidence-based mental health medications used to treat conditions like depression, anxiety, ADHD, and bipolar disorder. 

“Research has continuously demonstrated the safety and efficacy of antidepressants and antipsychotics,” Chase T.M. Anderson, MD, MS, assistant professor in child and adolescent psychiatrist at University of California at San Francisco, tells Wondermind. “Every medication has benefits and risks, so physicians have a ‘risks and benefits’ talk before prescribing and allow space for questions. After prescribing, we monitor for adverse events with regular appointments. With the children, adolescents, and young adults I work with, we meet a few days or a week after. As time goes on and symptoms improve, we space check-ins out more so they can be off living their lives.” 

Despite the fact that RFK Jr.’s criticism of these meds isn’t based in science (more on that here), spreading misinformation can lead to increased stigma and stereotypes about mental health medications and the people who take them. 

If you think you might benefit from mental health medication, it’s worth talking to your primary care provider or a mental health professional to address any concerns floating in the back of your mind. In the meantime, here’s what 15 people had to say about their experiences with mental health meds, including how medicine helped life become more vibrant again and the lowdown on side effects.

1. Think of it like any other medicine you’d need…  

“I’ve been taking [medication] to treat my OCD for about 10 years and had tried other medications when I was in high school. I used to be super embarrassed—especially in high school—that people would judge me for it, and I also [had] fears about what taking medicine meant about me. Once my condition got worse, I had a therapist tell me that it was just like taking medicine to treat anything else. Now I am so fucking grateful for it because I don’t think I would be here without it, and I certainly wouldn’t have the life that I do. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that you shouldn’t need it, but it doesn’t make you weak.” —Olivia L., 29

2. …Or like a doctor-prescribed safety net. 

“I was on a variety of antidepressants for roughly a decade, from age 14. There were obviously downsides and side effects, but the medication provided a really important safety net whilst I sorted out [my life]. I was fortunate to have doctors who were receptive when I wanted to try different medications, especially as there is no perfect antidepressant. Being a really young person on mental health medication often gets strange looks, but I knew it was the right choice because of the difference it made.” —Oliver A.*, 25 

3. Remember that feeling 100% perfect isn’t the goal… 

“While dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety, I hit my absolute bottom. I experienced huge bouts of rage directed at myself and others, had panic attacks every single day, and was ready to pack up my car and leave my husband and baby without any notice. I talked to my doctor about being put on an antidepressant, and since then, I honestly feel more comfortable in my own skin. I’m nowhere near 100% all the time, but being on medication takes the edge off and makes me feel like I can be around people without a panic attack brewing. Since going on medication, I have had only two panic attacks, which is a win for me—I was having at least one a day for months before.” —Kori B., 29 

4. …And that it’s OK if you get frustrated. 

“I have been on psychiatric medications for a variety of mental health issues since I was 16. I haven’t felt the stigma about taking mental health medications (thankfully, I have an amazing family and support system), but I have had to go on a journey within myself to accept that I will probably be on these medications for the rest of my life and that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that will always need this extra attention and care. 

As much as I sometimes hate that I’m taking six to eight pills a day, I know how horrible I felt all the time when I wasn’t on my medications. I truly feel like I deserve a happier, more fulfilled life than that. I have had the darkest depths of depression and the highest highs of manic episodes, but I am blissfully in the middle with this particular cocktail of medications I’m on right now. I still get to experience the full range of human emotion, and I don’t have to be a victim of my mind or scared of my thoughts. These advances in medicine are to make sure we all have the best lives possible, so why not embrace the fact that, yeah, I might be a little ‘off’ on my own, but I have so many resources available to me that can make my life so much better.” —Morgan S., 28 

5. Sometimes therapy isn’t enough.  

“I just started taking medication for depression this year, and I can’t believe I was living for years with the condition and its anxious symptoms when I didn’t have to. As an Asian American, mental health—and especially medication for it—isn’t something that’s talked about in my family. My parents thought I just needed to learn stress relief techniques and go to therapy, but that wasn’t enough. I realized [medication] was a viable and not uncommon option once my partner pointed out that many of my friends were on antidepressants and I asked them about their positive experiences with medication. I cried the first time I took a pill because I felt I was broken, but now I feel I can get so much more of my work done and enjoy being present with others without the compulsion to stay in my room and cry over stressful scenarios I’ve made up in my mind.” —Lauren C., 24 

6. It might take some time to get used to the medication…

“The process of deciding whether or not to start using medication to treat my anxiety and depression was stressful, but my psychiatrist, therapist, and close friends reassured me that it was a valid option to take on, seeing as my condition was worsening earlier in the year. What held me back the most was being seen as weak or broken. I felt like it was my fault for making choices that led me to become ill. But with time, I began to accept the fact that it was just biology, like how diabetics take insulin shots to regulate their blood sugar…taking a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) would help regulate the chemicals in my brain too. Adjusting to the medication was difficult for me—I dealt with nausea, poor sleep, and stomach problems while getting used to it and changing my dosage. But ultimately, even though the process wasn’t easy, it was also easily one of the best decisions I made all year.” —Rachel H.*, 23, 

7. …And one day, you and your doc might decide to switch it up. 

“I started taking an antidepressant back in 2017 while I was dealing with an excessive amount of panic and anxiety attacks. At first, I was skeptical that a small pill could take away my anxiety attacks, which had been causing me so much stress in my life. I took it anyway, starting off at a low dose and having the dosage raised by a small amount every month. I had a negative experience when my dose reached a certain level, but eventually, my body adjusted. It took a few months to really feel the positive effects of this SSRI, but when I did, it significantly improved my mental health, albeit with the occasional depressive episode. Antidepressants affect everyone differently, and for the most part it truly helped ease the cloud of excessive panic and anxiety attacks that followed me around. I’ve since stopped taking medication after speaking with my provider.” —Nina B., 29 

8. You might have to make some sacrifices… 

“My Sunday scaries used to involve a weekly panic attack about going back to work and the upcoming week ahead. Post medication, I haven’t had any panic attacks and can rationalize that anxiety in a realistic manner without spiraling into a panic. My sex drive and motivation are shot, but my Sunday evenings are better.” —Sera T. 29

9. …But the benefits can be worth it.  

“I avoided getting medicated for potential ADHD for years because my parents didn’t want ‘yet another thing wrong about me.’ I eventually got diagnosed at 30, and since taking medication, I am SO much more productive and honest with people. Some people think medication is a trap that makes you weak. I would say it makes me a stronger person who wants to live their life.” —Rin B., 31

10. It could save your life. 

“I have been lucky in my experience with medications to treat my depression. In high school, I was suicidal, and my mom forced me to see a doctor, which I resented, but it undoubtedly saved my life. I had the fortunate experience of the first med I tried working for me. It took time to find the right dose, but I’ve been on it for a decade now and can’t imagine my life without it. I grew up in a very small town where I think there was likely a lot of mental health stigma, but I have always been very open about it, and I think that worked to my advantage as a teenager and into adulthood. I feel awful on the rare occasions I forget my meds, but, in general, they make me feel like the life I want to build is possible.” —Lexie N., 26

11. It can help you tick off that to-do list.  

“When I actually remember to take my [ADHD meds], I feel like I log back into reality. I have combined type ADHD (as well as autism), and I didn’t realize how much I mentally checked out to cope with the simultaneously buzzing and boring world around me. So much of my body suddenly switched on [the first time I took my meds], and I was finally capable of putting my mind to something and doing it.” —Gates H.*, 27

12. It doesn’t make you weak. 

“In January 2022, I took a leave of absence from grad school for my mental health and began taking psychiatric medications. I spun a harmful narrative about myself that taking a break meant I was less intelligent and capable. The stigma surrounding medications certainly contributed, given the stereotype that if you take meds, you lack ‘mental toughness.’ Now, I’m happy to share my experiences with meds and how they have helped me build stability and resilience.” —Paige T., 26

13. And life might become more vibrant.  

“In 2015, during a period of depression and anxiety, my doctor told me that the most effective treatment for anxiety and depression was talk therapy in tandem with medication, so I started off on a low dose of medication. It was incredibly affirming to be diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and depression because it suggested my pain wasn’t all in my head and was valid. Even so, I was so ashamed that they prescribed psychiatric medication. About two weeks after taking my meds, I felt a 180-degree shift in my mental state. I describe in my book how colors started looking brighter, music started to sound better, and I felt taller both physically and emotionally. Seven years later, I’m in the process of successfully tapering off, but I’ll always be grateful for the way medication rewired some of the chemistry in my brain in a way I wasn’t able to do on my own.” —Marissa M., 30

14. And you can dedicate more energy to other areas of your life.

“I was diagnosed with GAD and depression in late 2019. My psychiatrist placed me on medication as a form of treatment, but I felt the effects of my diagnoses long before then. After years of reducing my symptoms to a ‘personality trait,’ getting a psychiatric diagnosis, treatment, and validation led to what felt like an alteration in my worldview. My depressive symptoms and severe anxiety became much more manageable, and my medication gave me the opportunity to dedicate more time and energy to practicing other forms of mental health and wellness that enhanced the effects of my medication.” —Noelle S., 23 

15. High achievers can benefit from it too. 

“When I was 25, I was a thriving, high-achieving, successful student turned post-grad professional, but my anxiety was crippling me. My primary care doctor prescribed medication to treat generalized anxiety and depression, which at the time, sounded absolutely terrifying. I begrudgingly took my prescribed dosage, which initially felt like admitting ‘defeat.’ 

Once I [found the right dosage], I felt like the medication had finally taken the edge off of life that my brain chemistry so deeply wanted. I’m deeply fortunate that the first prescribed medication worked for me, as I know it can take frustrating trial and error to find what works best for you.” —Taylor O., 32

*Name has been changed. 

Quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post 15 People Get Real About Mental Health Medication appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 02.25.25

Here’s How to Do a Body Scan Meditation to Calm Down

The emotional x-ray you didn’t know you needed. ByAmy Marturana Winderl

When times get tough, the tough get mindful. (That’s the saying, right??) While mindfulness isn’t the solution to all of life’s problems, it can be a useful tool for getting through the tough stuff. And one of the grounding tactics that mental health pros often suggest is the simple yet powerful body scan. 

A body scan is exactly what it sounds like: a mindfulness exercise that involves tuning into each part of your body, one by one. That might look like lying down and focusing on the top of your head, noticing sensations like tension or tingling. Then, you’ll move on to your forehead, eyes, ears, jaw, etc. until you’ve gone through your whole body. As you scan each part of your meat suit, the goal is not to judge your bodily functions or sensations. The point is to stay focused on how you physically feel so you can maybe (hopefully) get out of your head a little.

This process can help you focus on the present moment, says licensed clinical psychologist Nina Polyné, PsyD, Wondermind Advisory Committee member. That can be hugely beneficial for calming racing thoughts. That’s great for someone dealing with anxiety, overwhelm, stress, or worry (so like every single one of us), Dr. Polyné explains. 

The same goes if you’re feeling down, sad, or depressed. “Most people who have anxiety are focused on the future; with depression, you may be focused on shame or guilt from the past,” Dr. Polyné says. Because a body scan means honing in on how different parts of your body feel now, you can get out of your head and into the present moment—which is often helpful for a racing brain that can’t stop, won’t stop. When you’re grounded and focused on this moment, it’s easier to figure out the next steps, she adds. 

There are lots of versions of this mindfulness practice out there. For example, progressive muscle relaxation (PMR), where you tense and release each muscle group one at a time, can also help you hone in on your physical body and the present moment. But you don’t have to flex to get the mindfulness benefits of a body scan. Any exercise that requires you to shift your focus from one area to the next as you breathe mindfully can soothe racing thoughts, Dr. Polyné explains. So if it’s easier or less stressful for you to focus on watching leaves float by on a stream, for instance, then go with that! 

Here, Dr. Polyné explains exactly how to do a body scan the next time you need to find some calm in the chaos.

1. Find a safe space.

You may be wondering where to do this type of exercise. And that’s a fair question. While you can get into it pretty much anywhere, a space that feels relaxing, safe, and comfortable is ideal—especially if you want to close your eyes.

If you’re better with your eyes open, that’s cool! You can do this exercise at work or another public space by focusing on an object in the room with a soft, relaxed gaze, says Dr. Polyné.

2. Focus on your breath first.

OK, you’ll get to scanning your bod in a sec. But, for maximum chill, it’s very helpful to start this process by zooming in on your breath, explains Dr. Polyné.

The gist: Slowly breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Take as many breaths as you need to get into a calm, regular rhythm. From there, you may start to feel more centered and present.

Keep in mind: distractions can and will happen. As you get settled, it’s common for your brain to space out, says Dr. Polyné. When that happens, just remind yourself that it’s normal (because it is) and let those thoughts pass without judgment. Circle back to your breath and try to make it your main focus. 

3. Begin scanning your body, starting with your toes.

It is time. You can start a body scan from either the top of your body (your head) or the bottom (your feet) and then move up or down—whichever direction feels right to you. But, for this example, we’re starting at your toes. 

Notice any sensations that arise: Do your toes feel tense, relaxed, or tight? Are they warm, cold, or sweaty? As you assess that area, imagine breathing through the sensation. When you inhale, think of the breath traveling to that part of your body. You can imagine it relieving the tension or cooling the area, she explains. Then, slowly shift your focus to your whole foot, then your calves, thighs, bum, pelvis, stomach—you get the idea. Whatever you do, don’t rush the process. Try getting in a few good, deep breaths at each body part. 

4. Feel whatever feelings arise.

Don’t be surprised if some feelings bubble up as you scan, says Dr. Polyné. Maybe you sense into your belly and feel heat and then grief or sadness. It’s OK if you’re caught off guard, but don’t dismiss the emotion. Instead, lean in and let it flow—whatever that looks like for you.

If this is the first time in a while that you’ve tuned into your physical and emotional feels, that can be intense. When you notice your feelings and accept them without judgment, it can keep them from sneaking up on you at less convenient times. Whether we like it or not, we can’t eliminate our feelings, says Dr. Polyné. They’re just part of being a person.

5. Slowly bring yourself back to the present moment.

After you’ve breathed, scanned, and felt your feelings, you’re ready to come back to wherever you left off. Open your eyes, look around the room, and shift your awareness from your body to your environment. Your breath should stay steady as you stand up (take it easy, champ).

If you’re up for it, journaling about your experience can help you make the most of it, says Dr. Polyné. You can log what sensations or emotions came up and how you felt overall during the scan. If there were feelings in certain parts of your body that brought up big emotions, take note of those too. For extra credit, jot down what you felt like before your body scan and after. That might encourage you to keep it up.

6. Make it a thing.

As with all mindfulness techniques, body scans work best when you practice them regularly. Meaning, one session likely won’t change your life. But, by making it a practice (as in three-ish times a week), you’ll likely find that you get more out of the experience. You might even start looking forward to them. Over time, the ability to accept tough stuff, brush off intrusive thoughts, and move through emotions can become so much easier.

The post Here’s How to Do a Body Scan Meditation to Calm Down appeared first on Wondermind.

Essay Link Copied 02.06.25

7 Distractions That Make My Winter Anxiety More Bearable

Behold, Jake Shane’s guide to escapism. ByJake Shane

As the days grow shorter and the air becomes sharper, it’s only natural for many of us to feel mentally taxed. At least, I’ve always struggled with staying inside and slowing down in the winter. As someone with extreme anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), I often ruminate on negative thoughts and let my anxiety win when I have too much time to think. 

It’s strange because, even when things begin to go well for me, winter somehow brings this sense of catastrophe I can’t escape. I begin to feel uncomfortable in my body, and all I want to do is sleep. It must be the cold air that begs me not to move my body, bringing me back to that sense of insecurity I had in high school.

While I take medication for my mental health symptoms, there’s only so much big pharma can do to save me from The Dark Ages (see: November through March). That’s why, over the years, I’ve come up with a few reliable ways to get relief from the negativity—or at least channel it into something else. 

Winter is always tough, but 2025 has been tougher than usual. So, if you’re in need of a little assist, feel free to borrow one of my strategies for coping. As with everything, this winter too will pass.

Throw yourself into a TV show.

It’s funny because I actually don’t know if bingeing a show and rotting on your couch is the healthiest way to go about seasonal depression. But, hey, if it works, it works. And, for me, it fucking works. 

When I find a TV show I love—especially in the winter—I completely immerse myself in that world. Last year, it was Girls. In case you missed it, the show follows four young women navigating their 20s in Brooklyn, New York. Between seasons one and six, I completely became the show. Even if it was just for brief 30-minute interludes, I forgot about the wallowing depression I was accustomed to during most Decembers. 

A few years back, my winter show was the German science fiction series called Dark (on Netflix).  I don’t even know how to explain the plot or why it was so incredible, but just please trust me and watch it. I would talk to an inanimate object about this show.

It’s not every year that a show becomes my personality. We can only be so lucky. But trying to find my next TV obsession has started to feel like playing the lottery this time of year. When I find one I like, and it has multiple seasons, it’s an adrenaline rush. 

Listen to a comfort album.

Ever since I was a kid, I always found solace in music. Though it wasn’t until the Covid winter of 2021 that music changed how I existed—especially amid my winter blues. Back then, I started walking and listening to Taylor Swift’s evermore album front to back. I learned that immersing myself in one of my favorite albums was a simple way to add more predictability to the darker months. I didn’t know what would happen to me tomorrow (anxiety fuel), but I knew that after “gold rush” came “‘tis the damn season.” That was more than enough. 

When you know an album from front to back you know that for the next however many minutes, you are transporting into another world entirely. Unlike a new show, in this one, you know what has happened, what is happening, and what’s next. That’s very soothing.

I’ve spent a lot of this winter thinking about how lonely I am (sorry), and immersing myself in one of my favorite albums (Ryan Beatty’s 2023 masterpiece, Calico) helps me pretend I am not. It’s an escape, even for a second.

If you’re looking for options, I’d suggest starting with Taylor Swift. I don’t even know if I need to explain why, but I will. Listening to Taylor’s work is like sitting in English class all over again—and I mean that in the best way possible. With 10 albums and 20 years of pure musical history, there’s always a line you’re missing or a melody you haven’t nuzzled your brain into yet.  

Also, being part of the Swifties is really fun. It’s a community full of easter eggs, which are always a joy to speculate on—even if they’re never correct.

Move your body.

I struggle with how I view my body, and I always have. In years past, my body dysmorphia grew so intense during the winter months that I could barely get out of bed—let alone work out. It got to the point where I was uncomfortable moving at all because I hated my body so much.

And I used to scoff at people who said working out was like medicine. I didn’t get it. However, I’ve since learned never to underestimate the power of moving my body. 

This year specifically, I’ve continued my warm-weather streak of working out. Without fail, every single time I do it, I feel better than before I started. Even if it’s just a walk. I’m grateful to myself for that. 

Become a cinephile.

With the Oscars coming in at the end of winter (March!), there’s no better time to catch up on movies. More specifically, the movies that made noise this past year. Similar to throwing yourself into a television show, movies provide a space to lose yourself—with much less commitment. 

Because one of my goals for 2025 is to be an intellectual, I like to watch these films as if I’m back in school, analyzing the details and hidden meanings. Again, it feels like I’m back in English class. 

Maybe you’re noticing a theme here. I think I always loved English class because, despite the weather, I could escape into art. Analyzing literature and media allowed me to enter worlds that were not my own. I could leave my body for a short while.  Plus, if I’m feeling outgoing, I can hop on Letterboxd, a social media platform for people to talk about movies with fellow cinephiles. That’s always enjoyable.

For example, I watched Anora the other night and have hyperfixated so much that Anora has become my entire personality. I’ve decided that I will personally fund Mikey Madison’s campaign for Best Actress at the Oscars. Is this productive at all? Probably not. Am I thinking about my looming depression over these next few months? Also no. 

Cook something.

As someone who has struggled with debilitating anxiety since I was young, cooking always provided a sense of relief. I was still anxious, but in a different way. I wasn’t anxious about my friends leaving me or my family getting sick, I was anxious about burning the chicken. Weirdly, this kind of anxiety made me feel better. While I’m cooking, I follow a recipe and finish with a satisfying result. 

If you can’t cook though, watch The Bear on Hulu. You’ll get that same anxious-about-cooking-and-nothing-else feeling without the mess. 

Sleep.

OK, it’s easy to overdo this one—and I do. But when the winter blues hit hard, just fucking sleep. Going to bed is one of the best feelings in the entire world, well, until my anxieties infiltrate my dreams. Still, when I wake up, I automatically feel better.  

What feels better than sleep at night? A fucking nap during the day. Pop a squat on the couch, put on the TV, put away your phone, and close your eyes. Waking up and realizing you fast-forwarded through an otherwise long day is another great feeling in the Dark Times.

Also, don’t feel bad about it. When you wake up, you’ll be refreshed and a few steps closer to warmer days. While it’s not the healthiest coping mechanism, sometimes it’s the only thing that works. 

Find gratitude.

This one seems hard, and it is. However, sometimes life forces you to do it. When I was in Los Angeles during the wildfires, I was in my normal selfish winter routine, and I was forced to look outward. While I had to evacuate, my house and loved ones were safe. I was grateful—a feeling I often forget to seek out.

This year I learned that practicing gratitude, no matter the situation, is always a grounding exercise. It’s one that helps us remember that, even at rock bottom, there’s something to love. 

The post 7 Distractions That Make My Winter Anxiety More Bearable appeared first on Wondermind.

Q&A Link Copied 01.22.25

Kristin Chenoweth Is Working On Saying No

“When left to my own devices, I will come over to your house and sing for your next door neighbor's cousin’s little sister's birthday party." ByCasey Gueren

When you stop to consider her incredible career—spanning several decades and creative mediums—it’s hard to imagine Kristin Chenoweth ever sitting down, let alone resting. And she’s the first to admit that it’s something she’s struggled with over the years. 

“I’m an adrenaline junkie,” Chenoweth tells Wondermind, in the calm and grounded tone of someone who has clearly done some self-reflection on the matter. “I do best under pressure—that’s where I really shine. That’s probably why I like a live audience and performing live best.” 

Whether you know Chenoweth from her iconic stage performances, countless film and TV roles, singing, writing, or hilarious cooking videos on social media, there’s a very strong chance you’ve been inspired by her work at least once (and probably much more than that). As the original Glinda in Wicked, Chenoweth is Broadway royalty, and she’s gearing up for a return to the stage this year in the new musical Queen of Versailles. 

But despite her seemingly nonstop career, Chenoweth says she’s been prioritizing self-care more and more lately. It’s a habit that’s become even more crucial after what she describes as “crashing and burning” two years ago, thanks to her packed schedule. 

Here, Chenoweth shares how her outlook on mental health and rest changed over the course of her career, how she prepared emotionally and physically to revisit Wicked more than 20 years later, and the advice she wishes she could give her younger self.  

WM: How are you today, really? 

Kristin Chenoweth: Well, today we’re watching California burn. I was a resident of California for 24 years, and some of my friends have lost their homes. So how I’m feeling today is grateful. I’m in a prayerful mood because that’s what I tend to do when things like this happen. 

WM: You’re someone who has been so outspoken about mental health—in interviews, a Super Bowl commercial, and your last book. Were you always this comfortable talking about mental health? 

KC: I never felt really safe talking about depression. Because, remember, my era was: Suck it up, buttercup. Pull up your big girl panties. Leave the tears on the pillow when you’re by yourself. And I grew up very much doing that. I think that fed into a problem with perfectionism and an eating disorder and depression. Just the perfect little storm of your average nightmare is me. 

There’s a misconception about me that everything’s perfect and rainbows and pink. And you know what? I am overall happy, but I do battle—just like millions of people in the world—with depression. And nobody wants to hear my problems because I have a good life, right? A lot of people don’t understand what’s going on behind the scenes. 

The truth is, this generation is allowing me to say: You don’t have to suck it up, buttercup. You don’t have to save your tears for when you’re by yourself. It’s OK to be sad. A lot of people go through it. You’re not alone. All of these things have really helped me the past several years since our world has been in upheaval. And so I’m grateful for what I’m learning from the younger generation. 

WM: Has your perspective on rest also changed over the course of your career?

KC: Being from the South, there was often a feeling of: You rest when you deserve it. You have downtime once you’ve done your work. If you don’t get your work done, there is no downtime. Rest has almost been equated with laziness. What I’ve come to really understand is, it’s just like they say on the plane: You’ve got to put your own oxygen mask on first. And for years, I put everybody else’s oxygen mask on. 

I’ve been working so hard for so long because I don’t just do one thing—I’m blessed enough to be able to sing and act and be a host and make records and do Broadway and write. And I love this. But because I don’t just do one thing, I have a lot to get done and a lot of people to pay, and I take that responsibility very seriously. And then who suffers is me. 

What happened is I crashed and burned, had two seizures, and ended up in the hospital—literally from my schedule. There were a couple of other problems, but really the schedule was the big thing. When left to my own devices, I will come over to your house and sing for your next door neighbor’s cousin’s little sister’s birthday party, because I love people. But what happens is when you start giving so much of yourself out, you’ve got nothing left. And this is, I’m sure, a very common theme that comes up here. 

I’m still retraining my brain to know that I deserve to sit on my couch today with no makeup and hair and a T-shirt with no pants, and watch the news and take a beat and feel what I need to feel. I’m very empathic—like a lot of artists are—and as I’m watching the fires lately, I’m just devastated. So I’m going to do that, and it’s OK. Rest is OK. Getting a massage isn’t just a reward after you’ve done amazing things—the massage should be along the way because I have a bad neck and a bad knee. 

These are things you’ve got to do to take care of yourself, Kristin. If you don’t, you will give yourself seizures and end up in a place where you have to take three months off where nobody gets paid and you’re just resting and dealing with your own crap. So I’d like to not get there again. And since that time, I’ve been working very diligently with some tools that have helped me figure that out.

WM: Speaking of lessons learned over the last few decades, what was it like revisiting Wicked after all this time in a completely new way? How did you prepare emotionally and physically to be involved in this production and press tour? 

KC: It was amazing. I’m a part of something in my career that lasts, and not a lot of artists can say that. I’m grateful to have something attached to my name forever. And my girl [Ariana Grande] is playing the part I created, and I wanted that. And my other girl [Cynthia Erivo] is playing the other most amazing part. And then me and Idina [Menzel] are watching this go on and we’re holding each other’s hands. 

That all being said, it’s very layered for me. I’m so happy with how it is. But the very real, honest truth is: Oh my gosh, I hope they remember us. That’s a very vulnerable thing to say. Because I’m human. But at the same time, I’m evolved enough to know that part of the fun of having been here a minute is getting to watch somebody who admires and loves you want to make you proud. Just like I did in the past with people I’ve looked up to—Carol Burnett, Sandi Patty, Julie Andrews, Dolly Parton.

When you’re putting a new Broadway show together, not everything’s fun. It’s a lot of pressure. It’s very creative. It can be wonky. You’re trying things out in front of the audience that’s not buying it, and then you’ve got to change it and try something else. It was stressful. But because of the work that we all did, now they have this movie, and I’m so very proud of it. 

Some people asked, “Does it feel weird to you that you’re not the part [of Glinda]?” And I said, “I couldn’t go back, I couldn’t play that part again, so it doesn’t make me sad that I’m not playing it.” Very frankly, I thought it was a lovely gesture that they reached out to Idina and I and had us in it.  

WM: What are some tools that you lean on to help you during a particularly busy season like the one you just had? 

KC: This fall was a warning sign to me. I was getting back into some old habits that I want to avoid so I don’t have to stop for three months. One of the things I learned is that, while I’m a big prayer person, meditation is a different skill. So I do my prayer and I also do meditation, which really helps me. That’s actually a really big one. 

Obviously I’m a person that does therapy—I’m a big believer in that. As a Christian woman, you grow up hearing the only therapist you need is God. And the way I view it now is: God made these people interested in people like me to help me with my feelings, thoughts, emotions, and getting through life with the way it is. And so, yeah, He is my best friend, but therapy helps. 

I have a core group of people that are my people that understand and love me no matter what, and I rely on them. I have a very real relationship with my mom and dad. We don’t mince words. We talk for real. And that’s helpful. 

And I always go back to the music. I tell people all the time who suffer with depression or bipolar or personality stuff or just all of it: Go back to the thing that you love—whether you get paid a lot of money to do it or zero money to do it. For me, that’s music.

WM: If you could wave a wand and speak with your younger self, what advice would you give her? 

KC: Oh, there’s so many. But the main one that sticks out is that, in my job, I’ve been injured pretty severely a couple times, and rushing back to work has caused me more pain. 

[I wish I could go back and tell myself]: “A set piece nearly killed you, don’t worry about going into work with your face rearranged. You have cracked ribs, you have broken teeth, you have a skull fracture.” 

I didn’t want anyone to see fear and I didn’t want anyone to think that I wasn’t going to be on top of my game. And that’s happened a couple times throughout my career with Broadway, dancing, being on set. I’ve had some injury and it has caused me a lot of pain. I wish I could have just said: “I’m not ready to go back yet. I’m going to heal properly first.” 

WM: What advice would you give to people who are struggling to slow down and take time for themselves? 

KC: Something I’m working on now and is a constant work in progress is this: Be OK with saying no. That can mean saying no to a visit to your friend’s house at five o’clock because you don’t want to do the traffic and you’re tired, you’ve had a long day. It can be: I don’t want to take this movie because I need to be with my parents who are elderly and I need to help them move. Don’t be afraid to say no. 

I would also say find your higher power. It doesn’t have to be God. That’s just what works for me. Find your higher power and lean into it, because the only thing we can take with us is our spirit. That’s what we came on this Earth with: our spirit. 

Take care of yourself first. It’s not selfish, because then you can be the best version of you for all the people that you know and love that you want to be there for. Easier said than done, though.

And I will leave you with this one thing: For me, rescuing an animal has been the best thing. I’m looking at her now. I’m a very scared flyer and I have to fly two or three times a week. My dog knows I’m scared and knows I can have seizures sometimes and is with me. My dog can look at me and be like, I got you. When I had my first seizure at home, she would not leave my side. I would encourage, if people are in a place where they can adopt a pet, it could be—if they are prepared—one of the best decisions they’ve ever made.   

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post Kristin Chenoweth Is Working On Saying No appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 01.21.25

How Do We Begin to Tackle the Grief and Trauma From These Fires?

“No one talks about the emotional task of packing your belongings and saying goodbye to what’s left.” ByAlyssa “Lia” Mancao, LCSW

The air in Los Angeles is heavy, both literally and figuratively. The Palisades, Eaton Canyon, and Hurst wildfires burned thousands of acres. That includes homes, small businesses, and wildlife habitats. In an instant, thousands of people lost what took years or even generations to build. The Los Angeles wildfires also stripped away our sense of security, leaving all of us fearful of the future. 

As a Los Angeles resident, I’m anxiously waiting for my cue to evacuate. Living just a few miles from what is now a stretch of ash and debris, I’ve been consumed by messages from loved ones checking in and constantly monitoring evacuation notifications. At this point, the only thing separating me from the fires is the direction of the wind.

As a therapist, I’m surprised that no one talks about the emotional task of packing your belongings and saying goodbye to what’s left (there’s no certainty that it will all be there when you return). They also don’t talk about how, even if you’re physically safe, you’re constantly checking for updates on the damage.

At the time of this writing, the fires aren’t yet contained and the psychological toll is fresh and ongoing. However, I want everyone to know that it’s not too early to start coping with the grief, trauma, and anxiety caused by the devastation. 

Whether you lost your home, someone you love lost theirs, you’re waiting to hear if you need to leave your neighborhood, or you’re watching in horror from afar, we’re all feeling helpless. And it’s OK if you’re not ready or able to process your emotions around all of this right now. But, if and when you are, here are a few strategies I recommend.

Prioritize your physical needs.

If you’re directly impacted by the fires, there are an endless number of things competing for your attention. Texts from loved ones, spreadsheets of resources, insurance claims, and other logistical tasks that come with navigating the aftermath.

In the midst of it all, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself, especially your physical needs. But putting those at the top of your list is actually one of the most helpful ways to recover emotionally and materially. You need energy to take on everything coming your way.

So check in with yourself. Have you eaten? Are you hydrated? Can you take a nap if you need one? Tackle those first. 

Mindfully distract yourself.

Witnessing destruction in your neighborhood and hearing stories of loss can trigger symptoms of stress and anxiety, like nightmares, flashbacks, or persistent fear.  

If you’re experiencing this, know that this response is likely your mind and body processing trauma—and you don’t have to wait until the symptoms worsen to seek relief from the emotional toll.

One helpful tool is called mindful distraction. This can help you cultivate calm by distracting yourself for a bit. JFYI, distraction isn’t the same thing as avoidance. It’s a self-soothing technique and signals a sense of calm to your body. 

You can start by inhaling for four counts and exhaling for six to eight counts until you feel a little more grounded. Another option is called safe havening. Gently stroke your arms or face while visualizing a soothing image. It could be anything! No matter which route you go (maybe you use both), it can help relieve those overwhelming feelings. 

Connect with people who get it. 

Going through a traumatic event like this can make you feel incredibly lonely. That’s why seeking out others who directly relate to what you’re experiencing can be incredibly helpful. Of course, you might not be ready to talk about what’s happened yet. It’s OK to take your time and respect your readiness. 

But, when you’re ready, sharing aspects of your experience can help reduce the weight of the pain, lowering the volume of your big feelings. It also helps you understand what you’ve been through as you create a narrative around it. As you get more grounded, you’ll be in a better place to plan next steps. 

At the same time, when speaking to those who’ve lost their homes, evacuated, or have family members who are affected, you’ll feel more understood and supported. Their experiences help validate your experiences. 

If you’re not sure who to turn to, try reaching out to your neighbors, finding support groups, or visiting local relief organizations.

Give yourself permission to feel your feelings.

Lots of people who weren’t directly affected feel like they aren’t allowed to be anxious, sad, or grieve the devastation of this event. Others, especially those who were impacted, often lean into toxic positivity. 

No matter what your situation, we all need space to feel the full range of emotions cycling through our bodies right now. If we don’t allow them to come up, we can experience psychological distress. 

Having a hard time right now? Take some time to check in with your emotions at the beginning of each day. When things feel too heavy, give yourself permission to sit with the anxiety, grief, sadness, anger, frustration, or whatever’s going on.

Write a letter to what you lost.

Being directly impacted by the fires brings loss on many levels: loss of loved ones, possessions, places tied to special memories, and what could have been. Healing begins when we allow our grief to take up space. Start by asking yourself this question, If my grief could talk, what would it say? This can be a powerful way to honor and process your grief and learn more about what matters to us.

Get clear on what you’re grieving. Is it a loved one? A place? A pet? Your photo albums? The furniture handed down by your grandparents? Write a letter to the person, place, or possession, and share your memories and feelings about them. Talk about what they meant to you. 

Even as you begin to rebuild your life, you may notice a longing for what was. When that happens, acknowledge this as a very normal part of the healing process.

Find comfort in a routine.

Cultivating a routine is an underrated tool for navigating trauma. That’s because doing the same things on a regular basis provides a sense of stability—especially when life is unpredictable. Engaging in consistent and calming activities can combat the fight-or-flight response activated by a traumatic event. 

If you were directly impacted, I want you to honor and respect your capacity with this one. If your bandwidth is limited, start small. Identify something reasonable you can do on a daily basis. This might be waking up at the same time, setting aside 10 minutes to write, or making your to-do list at the start of each day. Any consistent and calming activity can help.

For those who weren’t directly impacted, it might feel odd to go back to your regularly scheduled agenda when other peoples’ lives are so disrupted. But remember this: We can only be of service to others after we tend to ourselves.

Get creative. 

Holding on to your sense of self and the stuff that brings you joy can feel daunting right now, but it’s a powerful tool for coping. That’s because creativity offers an outlet for expressing and processing your emotions. Whether it’s an art project, dancing, creative writing, or just doodling on a napkin, creativity can externalize our internal state, which can reduce stress. Los Angelenos know the power of collective creativity! 

Help others. 

If you’ve been directly impacted by the wildfires, volunteering can give you a sense of control, purpose, and connection during an overwhelming time. However, it’s important to check in with yourself and volunteer when you’re emotionally and physically ready. If you notice that volunteering is leading to burnout or feels triggering, then honor your personal limitations and focus on self-care. 

In my experience, being part of a collective recovery effort with like-minded people creates opportunities to share your experience within a supportive environment. 

If you’re on the outside looking in on this tragic event, you might feel anxious, depressed, or sad (all of which are rightful to experience). To interrupt those states, without bypassing your emotions, taking action can be super helpful for those who have the bandwidth.

For example, when I volunteered at the Santa Anita Racetrack, I met another volunteer, a Palisades resident, whose experience was similar to mine. While her place remained safe, she felt the pain for her neighbors who couldn’t say the same. The opportunity to speak with her was an outlet that I didn’t know I needed. You might need something like that too.

Advocate for change.

What kind of clinical social worker would I be if I didn’t talk about healing from a macro perspective? I believe that it is our social responsibility to care for one another. We heal in community. That’s why coping with the anxiety, grief, and trauma of these fires can also include advocating for changes that prevent future generations from suffering the same experiences. 

There are many approaches for addressing the structural and systemic issues contributing to these disasters: Advocating for equitable rebuilding efforts, collaborating with local organizations to build community care, and pushing for policies that address climate change.

The post How Do We Begin to Tackle the Grief and Trauma From These Fires? appeared first on Wondermind.