Pro Tips Link Copied 10.14.22

13 Little Life Hacks People With Anxiety Actually Swear By

Have you tried the anxiety scribble? ByZara Hanawalt

If you’re someone who lives with anxiety, you probably already know that finding ways to reel in those symptoms can be, well, a journey. That’s because anxiety can show up differently for different people, and what works for one person might not do much for someone else. So, when it comes to how to calm anxiety, it’s helpful to have multiple tools in your toolkit. 

First, let’s get one thing straight: There’s a difference between feeling anxious and having an anxiety disorder. Everyone feels anxious at least some of the time, while some people experience a lot of anxiety that’s persistent and debilitating. If you’re in the latter camp, treatments like therapy and medications might help. 

And while we’re big fans of seeking professional help for any mental health concern, there’s also something to be said for the tried-and-true tips and tricks that people who live with anxiety use on a regular basis to keep them grounded when they’re spiraling. So, we asked people to tell us the little lifestyle tweaks that help them deal when they’re feeling especially anxious. 

Remember: If you’re looking to treat an anxiety disorder, checking in with a licensed mental health professional or your primary health provider is your best bet. But if you’re looking for some simple lifestyle tricks you can try at home the next time you’re feeling anxious? These ideas might be a good place to start.

1. Pout your lips together, then blow air out of your lungs.

“The best thing that has helped me is breathing techniques. Most people will say to take deep breaths, but [for me], a better solution is to pout your lips together as if you were going to whistle. Then blow as much air out of your lungs as you can until you feel like they are totally empty. Then take a deep breath.” —Abi L., 36

2. Try the anxiety scribble.

“[A hack I use to] manage my anxiety symptoms is writing things down. I call it the anxiety scribble. I take a piece of paper and write how I am feeling all over it. I look at each thing I wrote and I scribble them out really hard and rip the paper up. Something about this helps because you are trying to throw your worries and anxiety away. When you’re writing everything down, you remind yourself that it will all be OK.” —Carlee N., 26

3. Visualize the scenario that brings you peace. 

“My most effective method of managing my anxiety is a [visualization] exercise. I close my eyes and imagine that the worst case scenario unfolds. But I’m watching myself like I’m a separate person, and I let my reactions play out. I keep repeating this exercise until I come to a reaction that makes me feel at peace. This helps me practice controlling my emotions as many times as I need to, since I will not be able to redo the situation in real life.” —Susan L., 35

4. Think of anxiety as a pesky little sister.

“A hack I use to combat anxiety is to bring my mind to the understanding that anxiety is a little sister who tags along with me everywhere I go. She is trying to protect me from things she is afraid of, which is almost everything! When I use this tool, I can actually feel compassion and empathy for what anxiety is trying to do for me.” —Kate R., 66

5. Think of how someone without anxiety would react.

“Something I do to help alleviate my anxious feelings and thoughts is imagine how someone without anxiety would feel or think in a particular situation. For example, if I’m feeling anxious about a work meeting, I think about someone I know who isn’t anxious about work meetings. I think about why they wouldn’t be anxious: Are they confident? Did they listen to upbeat music beforehand? Do they care very little about their job? Etc. Then, I try to embody that and try it out on myself.” —Rachel W., 31

6. Jot down your worries so you can better inspect (and maybe even debunk) them.

“I write down all those thoughts that keep bothering me or clouding my mind. From there, I check if there is any action that can help with any of those thoughts. It can be your checklist about self-improvement or a relationship that needs work. As long as you have a list in hand that you can work on, it can give you some peace of mind. Making things tangible or visible like a list of goals has been working for me so far.” —Andreas G., 27

7. Notice each sensation in your body

“The first hack I ever discovered that was truly a game-changer for me was the practice of awareness. Actively focusing [my] attention on the feelings of anxiety [I’m] feeling without trying to make them go away actually has a settling effect on [my] brain. Breathe slowly, notice each sensation in your body, or simply lie down flat on the floor in silence—whatever it takes to focus your attention on what’s happening rather than trying to avoid it or mask it.” —Mike T., 33

8. Go for a run (if that’s your thing).  

“I manage my anxiety by [running]. I enter the park while visualizing and muttering to myself that this feeling will disappear. I push myself to run surrounded by nature which helps take my mind off of the choke hold of looming death. The endorphins kick in and quickly alleviate the grip of the ‘invisible rope’ and I can inhale. It forces me to live in the precious moment and not the future. My mind and body are in total sync as my higher self kicks in. I am at peace with my being.” —Bonnie F., 77

9. Come back to your breath.

“If I feel an anxiety attack or even a panic attack coming on, I will take a step back and focus on my breathing. I will only focus on my breathing until it is back to normal. This will really help me relax and focus on me and what I am feeling at that moment. Focusing on my breathing really helps me just calm down and relax.” —Madison T., 23

10. Sing it out.

“One of the things which helps me the most is music and singing. When I feel the waves of anxiety rising inside of me, I turn on my favorite ABBA songs (preferably from Mamma Mia) and sing it all out. It brings me joy and peace.” —Anastasia S., 23

11. Maybe rethink your schedule. 

“The most effective solution for dealing with anxiety for me personally was waking up early. I am not a morning person, but once I tried this, I was surprised by how good this made me feel. It helped me find peace and calm myself down. Having so much time on hand, I could do small things that made me happy, and I felt a sense of accomplishment just by waking up early. I feel the most anxious during the night, so sleeping early really helped me tackle it to a great extent.” —Tyler R., 42

12. Talk to someone who gets it. 

“[A hack I rely on for managing] my anxiety is talking to a trusted friend. I have this one friend who really understands my mental health because he goes through the same thing, so just talking about it with him and expressing how I feel also helps me calm down and validate my feelings.” —Madison T., 23

13. Tune out the noise—literally. 

“I’m a 41-year-old wife and mother of two living with anxiety. A moment of silence can be hard to find around my house, which is hard because I deal with my anxiety better when things are quiet and I can drown out the chaos surrounding me. The hack that I use that works well for me is to put on my headphones and play music when there is too much going on. This way, if my kids are bickering, instead of stressing myself out by telling them to stop, I can ignore the noise and focus on what I’m doing. —Alice A., 41

The post 13 Little Life Hacks People With Anxiety Actually Swear By appeared first on Wondermind.

Stories Link Copied 10.10.22

Here’s What Anxiety Actually Feels Like

“It's as if there's a spinning wheel of worry in your mind.” ByZara Hanawalt

Everyone experiences worry from time to time, but for people who live with an anxiety disorder, those feelings are often so persistent and so loud, they can drown out everything else. But if you’ve ever struggled to explain what anxiety feels like to someone else, you’re not alone. Because as awful and annoying as those symptoms can be, they can also be oddly hard to articulate. 

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), anxiety symptoms can range from things like feeling restless, worried, and irritable to having trouble breathing, sleeping, or concentrating. Symptoms of anxiety can also come in the physical form of stomach aches, headaches, chest pain, or other rogue pains. And, for some people, all of this can really mess with your day-to-day life, whether it’s screwing with your relationships or holding you back at work. 

To the outside world, the things that cross the mind of a person who deals with anxiety may not make a whole lot of rational sense. They might wonder why you just can’t shake those feelings of dread even when everything in your life seems to be going well. Or maybe they can’t wrap their heads around why you feel intense, debilitating symptoms before an exciting event. Even people who often experience anxiety can realize the flaws in their thinking, but that doesn’t make it go away. 

All of this is to say that it’s time for way more understanding and compassion when it comes to anxiety. Maybe then people can stop saying things like, “Just relax!” or “Stop worrying so much!” (which any anxious person can confirm are both deeply unhelpful statements). 

So, whether you’re here looking for validation or to boost your own understanding of what it feels like to live with anxiety, pull up a chair. We asked 11 anxious people to answer the question: What does anxiety feel like to you? Here’s what they had to say.

1. It truly feels like the world is falling apart. 

“I get this feeling like the world is falling apart and something terrible is going to happen. And in my head I understand that this fear is irrational, but my body feels like it’s the end.” —Anastasia S., 23

2. And it convinces you that you’ve messed up. 

“Anxiety more often than not makes you remember some things you did wrong years ago at seemingly random times, makes you check your work multiple times, and still, when you come home you are not sure you did the right thing.” —Luka J., 33

3. It feels like all of your worries are swirling around you. 

“Over the years, [my anxiety] has felt different depending on what’s going on in my life and how stressed I am. Overall, anxiety feels like there’s a low hum in the background of your consciousness that never allows you to slow down your brain. It’s as if there’s a spinning wheel of worry in your mind that’s being constantly propulsed and tossing your thoughts around. You think about money, then your marriage, then your kids, then work, then your car, then money again, then your health, then your kids again…and on and on.” —Mike T., 33

4. Imagine being trapped in a vacuum. 

“I would say that anxiety feels like a nervous, tingling feeling in my chest. Sometimes it’s so bad that I feel like I can’t concentrate on the things that are going on around me. I feel almost as if I am in a vacuum and like I’m not really there.” —Abi L., 36

5. You’re overthinking x1000. 

“Living with anxiety feels like you are constantly on edge and constantly overthinking and worrying about things. For me, everything that I say, I rethink and overthink in my head wondering if I said the wrong thing, or maybe I offended someone, or maybe I talked too much and annoyed the people I am talking to. Everything I say or do, I rethink after it is done and I analyze it in my head and just keep on thinking about it until I have analyzed every aspect. … It isn’t just about social settings, it’s all the time; I analyze the work I am doing, I analyze the setting I am in, I analyze everything and just overthink everything.” —Madison T., 23

6. It’s a fortune teller with only bad news. 

“Living with anxiety is like living with the worst fortune teller in the world. Instead of telling you fun fortunes, everything that is not perfect equals death. Your friend didn’t text you back yet? They died. Or you’re dead to them. Either way, now you have something to worry about.” —Susan L., 35

7. Basically everything feels like a risk. 

“Living with anxiety feels as if you are in a condition that negates yourself. You are in the situation and don’t know the trigger. You feel hollow, unsafe, and think negatively about everyone and everything. You become suspicious of your surroundings and gatherings.” —Ronald W., 38

8. It’s a weight on your chest (or your stomach…or your whole body). 

“For me, my anxiety sensations are strongest in my stomach and chest—like the nerves you might feel before a high-adrenaline activity like going on a roller coaster or speaking in front of a large audience. Except it doesn’t dissipate after the activity or event is over. It persists throughout the day from each moment to moment. It’s like a weight on my chest that I feel with each shortness of breath where I’m never quite able to catch it.” —Gio B., 33

9. There’s an endless stream of irrational thoughts that you just can’t shake. 

“The day starts with me already worrying. What if I can’t find a parking space, or what if someone hits me with a car and I die on the spot? What will my children do without me? While the children are at school, thoughts come to mind, such as what will happen to them in the event of an earthquake. Will I make it to pick up all three kids? Whose school is closer? Which way is the fastest way to get there? Anxiety is when your daily obligations seem endless, so under the pressure of the stress you feel you simply freeze and end up doing nothing, and then you panic about it, and so on in a circle. Anxiety is when you see that everything is fine, everyone is healthy, happy, and taken care of, and yet you have an irrational fear that something terrible will happen.” —Ashley D., 39

10. You’re always on the lookout for danger. 

“Living with anxiety for me is like being a Yorkie with a Bobcat for a neighbor and always feeling under threat. I immediately look for the exit everywhere I go. I do not sit with my back to the door—ever. I am constantly scanning crowds for someone who just looks ‘off’ so I can protect myself and my loved ones.” —Katie R., 66

11. And you never know exactly what shape it’ll take next. 

“When I have anxiety, it makes me feel a few different ways. If I’m really nervous about something specific, my chest feels tight, I can’t stop worrying that the worst is going to happen, and I sometimes feel short of breath. If I’m just having a day where I feel anxious but I don’t know why, I am usually irritable and feel worn out.” —Alice A., 41

Relatable?

If you were nodding your head a whole lot (yup, totally, omg me) while reading this, you should know that you’re not alone. Here are some tips for managing anxiety symptoms when they pop up. And here’s how to tell if you should see someone for your anxiety. 

These quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post Here’s What Anxiety Actually Feels Like appeared first on Wondermind.

Stories Link Copied 09.18.22

Here’s What Depression Really Feels Like

“Imagine sandbags on your arms, legs, and body.” ByZara Hanawalt

Chances are high that you know someone—or maybe even are someone—who has experienced depression. About 1 in 12 people in the U.S. over the age of 18 had at least one major depressive episode in 2020, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). For young adults between 18 and 25 years old, it’s more like 1 in 6. And these numbers don’t include the many people who experience symptoms of depression but don’t get it checked out. So let’s talk about just how common and complex depression really is.

Thanks to more candid conversations happening around mental health, we’re starting to erase the stigma and stereotypes about depression, but there are still a lot of myths and misconceptions out there. For instance, it’s not uncommon to hear people throw around assumptions that depression only impacts certain types of people, that depression just means you’re sad all the time, or that if you have depression you’ll definitely be able to recognize it. 

In reality, depression can impact anyone, affect almost every area of a person’s life, and it can show up differently in different people. To give a more complete picture of what depression can actually look like, we asked 11 people who live with depression to describe how it feels to them—in as much or as little detail as they felt comfortable sharing. Here’s what they had to say. 

1. It’s like you’re the only one who feels this way.

“Depression, to me, is a constant state of fear, anxiety, and unexplainable sadness. Mental illness doesn’t control my day-to-day life but has made a lasting impact on me. It’s an isolating feeling because you feel like you’re the only one thinking these thoughts or worried about the future. But that’s not true. Depression controls my thought processes, meaning my mental capabilities are hindered by mental illness. It’s  a daily battle to give myself the grace to think differently.” —Conner T., 24

2. It’s a heaviness that stays with you.

“From November 2020 to November 2021, I suffered from extreme anxiety and depression. Life felt pointless. Every day I was pissed [that] I woke up. It felt like a heaviness. I only felt negative emotions. I was on the verge of tears constantly.” —Michele C., 43

3. Like a blanket you can’t take off.

“To me, depression feels like I’m trapped under a heavy dark blanket that I cannot shake off. I feel deep sadness without any real reason or source. I also feel exhausted and any task feels overwhelming to initiate. When I’m depressed, I feel lonely and like no one else could possibly begin to understand how I feel. I isolate myself from others, and I just want to be left alone. I also feel disconnected from my true self and unable to get back to the person I know I am.” —Krystal S., 36

4. Like being buried in mud.

“For me, living with depression has felt like I’m buried at the bottom of a mud pit with only a small tube to breathe through. Everything that I do, every move I make, and every breath has felt like I have to overcome the weight of this mud pit pressing down on me. Even my thoughts feel like I have to clear the mud away in order to think. It takes so much energy to do anything—including breathing—that it is challenging to function. Not feeling like I can function adds to the weight of the mud pressing down on me.” —Angie B., 44

5. You can’t recognize yourself.

“Depression is a cavern. You don’t know yourself here. You try to navigate your way back to the light, but only find walls. You learn to live with the darkness; it overwhelms everything. The darkness lies to you. It tells you that no one cares about you, despite loved ones trying desperately to reach you. You can’t help but recoil. Depression makes you miss yourself. It’s like waking up with amnesia. Where am I? How did I get here? Who is that? You’re the ‘that’.” —JessicaRae P., 29

6. Failing—even though you aren’t.

“For me, depression feels like overwhelm. Despite succeeding in my life over and over again, I will feel as though I am a failure and stuck in the same patterns.” —Molly H., 39

7. Everything is 10x harder. 

“Depression can feel like a heavy weight on your chest like you can’t catch your breath. It can feel like you’re stuck in quicksand and no matter how hard you try to struggle free, you just can’t. Depression can make you feel hopeless, helpless, and alone. It can sap your energy and motivation, making even the simplest tasks seem impossible. Depression can make it hard to concentrate, remember things, or make decisions. It can cause physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or stomach problems.” —Arsalan R., 27

8. Like you’ve fallen into a black hole.  

“For me, depression is on a spectrum ranging from a minor inconvenience to complete debilitation. At its worst, depression feels like a lack of motivation to do the things I love, extreme fatigue, joint pain, and a fibromyalgia flare-up. Depression also makes my disability resulting from [a brain injury I sustained] interfere with things like focus and word recall. During this time, it is impossible to work. When I am depressed, I feel like I have fallen into a black hole and I cannot see a way out. I feel tired, angry, in pain, and hopeless.” —Antoinette T., 55

9. The simplest things feel impossible.  

“Depression feels as if you are walking around with weights tied to every part of your body. Imagine sandbags on your arms, legs, and body. Your head, too, is weighted by a dull, heavy sack. It’s hard to move. Any agility you may have felt is gone. And that’s just your body. Imagine those same sandbags, but tied to your mind. Clouds obscure your thinking. Sometimes it’s even difficult to see. It’s not your vision. It’s the heaviness of your mind. You’re indecisive because you can’t think clearly. Second-guessing or not guessing at all becomes the norm. You withdraw, not because you want to be alone, but everything is just so impossible. Listening is exhausting. Speech [is] impossible. Eventually, you don’t want to die, you just don’t want to live this way anymore.” —Nita S., 60

10. Like you’re a shell of who you once were. 

“Depression, for me, feels like a vast and listless void that I can’t see past. It swallows me whole, and all that I see is a bird’s eye view of myself desperately trying to claw out of it—but nothing happens. It’s like a mind and body disconnect, and I see an empty shell of what I once was, and what I once loved. For so many years I had to mask it, so I’ve gotten really good at hiding it—even from myself. So, I never see it coming. I just look around me and see the aftermath. Then, I’m filled with the shame and anger of feeling like I’ve subjected myself to it and disappointed and hurt all those around me.” —Riba A., 30

11. And every day is a struggle.

“The days are so full of physical pain and emotional and mental effort. It’s exhausting and the guilt is unbearable. … When a person with depression is alive—and even participating in their day—everyone around should be in awe of that person’s fortitude and determination to live.” —Cathy M., 47

These quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post Here’s What Depression Really Feels Like appeared first on Wondermind.

Stories Link Copied 09.16.22

11 Little Life Hacks People With Depression Swear By

“I’ve acquired around 10-15 houseplants.” ByZara Hanawalt

When it comes to alleviating the symptoms of depression, there are lots of evidence-based treatments (see: many different types therapy and medications). And, fortunately, these expert-backed treatments are becoming more accessible and affordable. But there are also plenty of other things that people turn to in their daily lives to help make living with depression a little more manageable—like lifestyle modifications, spiritual practices, social support, or something else. So, we asked people who know, from experience, how to deal with depression to share the things they turn to when they want to feel a little bit better.

At the end of the day, figuring out the best way to manage your symptoms really comes down to personal preference. What works for you may not work for your best friend. And while we’re big fans of seeking out professional help, we can also see the incredible value in talking to people who have been there to see what might have worked for them. Keep in mind that these strategies aren’t considered treatments for depression (and they certainly aren’t cures). Instead, they’re little life hacks that helped someone with their depression symptoms, and they just might help you too. So feel free to take what resonates and leave the rest. And, of course, checking in with a licensed mental health professional is the best way to find a treatment plan that’s tailored specifically to you.  

1. Find some plants and animals to take care of.

“I developed a love for plant care during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, which has stuck with me nearly two years later. Also, I’ve been caring for small and aquatic animals, which has also made me feel better. I have two gerbils, one hamster, and an axolotl. I learned that caring for animals gives me a sense of purpose and drive. I have to watch and keep track of cleaning, food, and water. It keeps me busy when I’m not working, and animals give me an overall more positive mood. I’ve acquired around 10-15 houseplants, which makes it challenging to keep them alive. So far, I’ve done well!.” —Conner T., 24

2. Get outside whenever you can. 

“I recently discovered a love of hiking which has helped me tremendously. There is something about being in nature, surrounded by the sounds of wildlife, water, or just the rustle of leaves, that lessens the weight of depression for me.” —Krystal S., 36

3. Give everyday actions a creative, whimsical spin.

“One thing that has helped me more than anything else is learning how to combine play, movement, and imagination together. Simple movements—like wiggling my fingers—in my mind become something silly like pretending my fingers are moving how an octopus on roller skates would move. Imagining that I am an elephant stomping through mud puddles gave me the sensation of stomping away the depression and weight holding me down. Learning how to use my imagination for play and movements helps me release and escape the mud pit of depression I feel like I am buried in.” —Angie B., 44

4. Do some light reading…about depression.

“Getting educated about your mental health empowers you to do something different. Though reading is not a substitute for professional treatment, it’s one way to take your power back. Depression doesn’t want you to know what makes it tick; it doesn’t like to be vulnerable.” —JessicaRae P., 29 

5. Play a cathartic game.

 [Another way] I’ve found to manage the unending cycles of darkness is to play with my little one. For me, it’s mostly Resident Evil where we shoot zombies together and get a kick out of being scared. Sometimes we go outside and run around. This technique is definitely difficult, especially when your depression doesn’t want you to do anything or go anywhere—let alone outside to play with a ball. But on the days you’re feeling strong, this is a good one.” —JessicaRae P., 29

6. Make something you can feel proud of.

“I started a podcast called Next Stop Nonstop that focuses on travel and mental wellness for millennial women. This allows me to focus on meeting and talking to different people, creating things I can be proud of, and generally looking toward the future. Finding creativity when I am depressed or even slightly sad guides me to a less heavy state of mind so that I can understand what triggered me from a less emotional point of view. Creativity also gives me a sense of purpose and confidence, and allows me to create and see the beauty of what my emotions can turn into.” —Erica G., 32

7. Try to have a meaningful conversation. 

“I connect and talk with strangers. Listen to them, their stories, and what they have to say. When you’re depressed, it can be easy to withdraw from friends and family. But social interaction is crucial for maintaining your mental health. Spend time with loved ones, join a club or group, or volunteer in your community.” —Arsalan R., 27

8. Do something adventurous—whatever that looks like for you.

“My unconventional antidote to depression is my year-round deep connection to nature and adventure sports. Today, I am a 55-year-old sponsored adventure sports athlete. But I found kayaking, archery, camping, hunting, fishing, climbing, and other forms of outdoor recreation to be an essential motivator. When I am severely depressed, just putting my fishing rod into a frozen lake or kayaking a beautiful flowing river in summer grounds me. Being outdoors makes me feel connected to something bigger than myself—the natural world and the outdoors community—and that gives me hope that tomorrow or in a month things will be better.” —Antoinette T., 55

9. Occasionally let yourself lay on the floor with your feelings.  

“When depression puts me in that painful, heavy place, I sometimes surrender. I lie on the floor, face down, limbs spread, and sink into the rug, relaxing every single muscle in my body as if to say, ‘Fine, depression. You can weigh me down, but you’re not going to kill me.’ It often becomes a deep period of rest. Within a few minutes, I have the energy to get up and attempt some small action.” —Nita S., 60

10. Lounge around in some comfy (and affirming) clothes.

“I have depressive episodes at least once a month in my best months and when that happens I deal with it in a quite simplistic way. Before I would try to fight it and do things to feel useful, nowadays I just let it be. I shut the curtains and watch something silly on Netflix, [log] out of social media. I wear a jumper or T-shirt with a positive message and just cancel all plans—no shame, just say, ‘Honestly I’m not OK’ and cancel. It can last two to five days. I wear my positive message so I can keep repeating it in my head until my brain catches it up.” —Alana N., 38

11. Write down the story your mind is telling you, and then rewrite it. 

“When I have a depressive episode, I get consumed by thoughts that are usually as horrible and negative as they are wholly untrue. So I’ve started writing down those thoughts when I’m in one of those spirals. Things like: You’re going to fail. You’re completely alone. You’ll never recover from this. You know, truly awful stuff. As hard as it can be to see that written down, it helps me to get it out of my head and onto the page. And, from there, I try to counter each negative thought with any proof of the contrary. Like: Actually, you’re pretty successful. You have tons of support. You’ve already grown so much from this. Looking back at these interactions with myself later helps me remember just how rude—and wrong—depression can be.” —Casey, 33 

These quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post 11 Little Life Hacks People With Depression Swear By appeared first on Wondermind.