Stories Link Copied 02.26.25

15 People Get Real About Mental Health Medication

The harmful stigma around medication and mental health needs to end. ByCarina Hsieh Additional Reporting ByCasey Gueren

If it seems like the stigma around mental health medications is suddenly getting worse, you’re not wrong. Medications like SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety meds, and others have been the subject of some wild claims from Robert F. Kennedy Jr., newly appointed U.S. Secretary of Health & Human Services. During and since his confirmation hearing, RFK Jr. spread harmful misconceptions about these evidence-based mental health medications used to treat conditions like depression, anxiety, ADHD, and bipolar disorder. 

“Research has continuously demonstrated the safety and efficacy of antidepressants and antipsychotics,” Chase T.M. Anderson, MD, MS, assistant professor in child and adolescent psychiatrist at University of California at San Francisco, tells Wondermind. “Every medication has benefits and risks, so physicians have a ‘risks and benefits’ talk before prescribing and allow space for questions. After prescribing, we monitor for adverse events with regular appointments. With the children, adolescents, and young adults I work with, we meet a few days or a week after. As time goes on and symptoms improve, we space check-ins out more so they can be off living their lives.” 

Despite the fact that RFK Jr.’s criticism of these meds isn’t based in science (more on that here), spreading misinformation can lead to increased stigma and stereotypes about mental health medications and the people who take them. 

If you think you might benefit from mental health medication, it’s worth talking to your primary care provider or a mental health professional to address any concerns floating in the back of your mind. In the meantime, here’s what 15 people had to say about their experiences with mental health meds, including how medicine helped life become more vibrant again and the lowdown on side effects.

1. Think of it like any other medicine you’d need…  

“I’ve been taking [medication] to treat my OCD for about 10 years and had tried other medications when I was in high school. I used to be super embarrassed—especially in high school—that people would judge me for it, and I also [had] fears about what taking medicine meant about me. Once my condition got worse, I had a therapist tell me that it was just like taking medicine to treat anything else. Now I am so fucking grateful for it because I don’t think I would be here without it, and I certainly wouldn’t have the life that I do. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that you shouldn’t need it, but it doesn’t make you weak.” —Olivia L., 29

2. …Or like a doctor-prescribed safety net. 

“I was on a variety of antidepressants for roughly a decade, from age 14. There were obviously downsides and side effects, but the medication provided a really important safety net whilst I sorted out [my life]. I was fortunate to have doctors who were receptive when I wanted to try different medications, especially as there is no perfect antidepressant. Being a really young person on mental health medication often gets strange looks, but I knew it was the right choice because of the difference it made.” —Oliver A.*, 25 

3. Remember that feeling 100% perfect isn’t the goal… 

“While dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety, I hit my absolute bottom. I experienced huge bouts of rage directed at myself and others, had panic attacks every single day, and was ready to pack up my car and leave my husband and baby without any notice. I talked to my doctor about being put on an antidepressant, and since then, I honestly feel more comfortable in my own skin. I’m nowhere near 100% all the time, but being on medication takes the edge off and makes me feel like I can be around people without a panic attack brewing. Since going on medication, I have had only two panic attacks, which is a win for me—I was having at least one a day for months before.” —Kori B., 29 

4. …And that it’s OK if you get frustrated. 

“I have been on psychiatric medications for a variety of mental health issues since I was 16. I haven’t felt the stigma about taking mental health medications (thankfully, I have an amazing family and support system), but I have had to go on a journey within myself to accept that I will probably be on these medications for the rest of my life and that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that will always need this extra attention and care. 

As much as I sometimes hate that I’m taking six to eight pills a day, I know how horrible I felt all the time when I wasn’t on my medications. I truly feel like I deserve a happier, more fulfilled life than that. I have had the darkest depths of depression and the highest highs of manic episodes, but I am blissfully in the middle with this particular cocktail of medications I’m on right now. I still get to experience the full range of human emotion, and I don’t have to be a victim of my mind or scared of my thoughts. These advances in medicine are to make sure we all have the best lives possible, so why not embrace the fact that, yeah, I might be a little ‘off’ on my own, but I have so many resources available to me that can make my life so much better.” —Morgan S., 28 

5. Sometimes therapy isn’t enough.  

“I just started taking medication for depression this year, and I can’t believe I was living for years with the condition and its anxious symptoms when I didn’t have to. As an Asian American, mental health—and especially medication for it—isn’t something that’s talked about in my family. My parents thought I just needed to learn stress relief techniques and go to therapy, but that wasn’t enough. I realized [medication] was a viable and not uncommon option once my partner pointed out that many of my friends were on antidepressants and I asked them about their positive experiences with medication. I cried the first time I took a pill because I felt I was broken, but now I feel I can get so much more of my work done and enjoy being present with others without the compulsion to stay in my room and cry over stressful scenarios I’ve made up in my mind.” —Lauren C., 24 

6. It might take some time to get used to the medication…

“The process of deciding whether or not to start using medication to treat my anxiety and depression was stressful, but my psychiatrist, therapist, and close friends reassured me that it was a valid option to take on, seeing as my condition was worsening earlier in the year. What held me back the most was being seen as weak or broken. I felt like it was my fault for making choices that led me to become ill. But with time, I began to accept the fact that it was just biology, like how diabetics take insulin shots to regulate their blood sugar…taking a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) would help regulate the chemicals in my brain too. Adjusting to the medication was difficult for me—I dealt with nausea, poor sleep, and stomach problems while getting used to it and changing my dosage. But ultimately, even though the process wasn’t easy, it was also easily one of the best decisions I made all year.” —Rachel H.*, 23, 

7. …And one day, you and your doc might decide to switch it up. 

“I started taking an antidepressant back in 2017 while I was dealing with an excessive amount of panic and anxiety attacks. At first, I was skeptical that a small pill could take away my anxiety attacks, which had been causing me so much stress in my life. I took it anyway, starting off at a low dose and having the dosage raised by a small amount every month. I had a negative experience when my dose reached a certain level, but eventually, my body adjusted. It took a few months to really feel the positive effects of this SSRI, but when I did, it significantly improved my mental health, albeit with the occasional depressive episode. Antidepressants affect everyone differently, and for the most part it truly helped ease the cloud of excessive panic and anxiety attacks that followed me around. I’ve since stopped taking medication after speaking with my provider.” —Nina B., 29 

8. You might have to make some sacrifices… 

“My Sunday scaries used to involve a weekly panic attack about going back to work and the upcoming week ahead. Post medication, I haven’t had any panic attacks and can rationalize that anxiety in a realistic manner without spiraling into a panic. My sex drive and motivation are shot, but my Sunday evenings are better.” —Sera T. 29

9. …But the benefits can be worth it.  

“I avoided getting medicated for potential ADHD for years because my parents didn’t want ‘yet another thing wrong about me.’ I eventually got diagnosed at 30, and since taking medication, I am SO much more productive and honest with people. Some people think medication is a trap that makes you weak. I would say it makes me a stronger person who wants to live their life.” —Rin B., 31

10. It could save your life. 

“I have been lucky in my experience with medications to treat my depression. In high school, I was suicidal, and my mom forced me to see a doctor, which I resented, but it undoubtedly saved my life. I had the fortunate experience of the first med I tried working for me. It took time to find the right dose, but I’ve been on it for a decade now and can’t imagine my life without it. I grew up in a very small town where I think there was likely a lot of mental health stigma, but I have always been very open about it, and I think that worked to my advantage as a teenager and into adulthood. I feel awful on the rare occasions I forget my meds, but, in general, they make me feel like the life I want to build is possible.” —Lexie N., 26

11. It can help you tick off that to-do list.  

“When I actually remember to take my [ADHD meds], I feel like I log back into reality. I have combined type ADHD (as well as autism), and I didn’t realize how much I mentally checked out to cope with the simultaneously buzzing and boring world around me. So much of my body suddenly switched on [the first time I took my meds], and I was finally capable of putting my mind to something and doing it.” —Gates H.*, 27

12. It doesn’t make you weak. 

“In January 2022, I took a leave of absence from grad school for my mental health and began taking psychiatric medications. I spun a harmful narrative about myself that taking a break meant I was less intelligent and capable. The stigma surrounding medications certainly contributed, given the stereotype that if you take meds, you lack ‘mental toughness.’ Now, I’m happy to share my experiences with meds and how they have helped me build stability and resilience.” —Paige T., 26

13. And life might become more vibrant.  

“In 2015, during a period of depression and anxiety, my doctor told me that the most effective treatment for anxiety and depression was talk therapy in tandem with medication, so I started off on a low dose of medication. It was incredibly affirming to be diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and depression because it suggested my pain wasn’t all in my head and was valid. Even so, I was so ashamed that they prescribed psychiatric medication. About two weeks after taking my meds, I felt a 180-degree shift in my mental state. I describe in my book how colors started looking brighter, music started to sound better, and I felt taller both physically and emotionally. Seven years later, I’m in the process of successfully tapering off, but I’ll always be grateful for the way medication rewired some of the chemistry in my brain in a way I wasn’t able to do on my own.” —Marissa M., 30

14. And you can dedicate more energy to other areas of your life.

“I was diagnosed with GAD and depression in late 2019. My psychiatrist placed me on medication as a form of treatment, but I felt the effects of my diagnoses long before then. After years of reducing my symptoms to a ‘personality trait,’ getting a psychiatric diagnosis, treatment, and validation led to what felt like an alteration in my worldview. My depressive symptoms and severe anxiety became much more manageable, and my medication gave me the opportunity to dedicate more time and energy to practicing other forms of mental health and wellness that enhanced the effects of my medication.” —Noelle S., 23 

15. High achievers can benefit from it too. 

“When I was 25, I was a thriving, high-achieving, successful student turned post-grad professional, but my anxiety was crippling me. My primary care doctor prescribed medication to treat generalized anxiety and depression, which at the time, sounded absolutely terrifying. I begrudgingly took my prescribed dosage, which initially felt like admitting ‘defeat.’ 

Once I [found the right dosage], I felt like the medication had finally taken the edge off of life that my brain chemistry so deeply wanted. I’m deeply fortunate that the first prescribed medication worked for me, as I know it can take frustrating trial and error to find what works best for you.” —Taylor O., 32

*Name has been changed. 

Quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post 15 People Get Real About Mental Health Medication appeared first on Wondermind.

Highly Recommend Link Copied 05.02.24

16 Mother’s Day Gifts For the Mom Who Needs a Mental Break

Always looking out, aren’t ya? ByCarina Hsieh

With Mother’s Day fast approaching (it’s on May 12 this year—you’re welcome), now’s the perfect time to start thinking about what to get your mom on a day that’s all about celebrating them. Sure, you can do the ol’ tried and true and go halfsies on a Mother’s Day gift with your sibs or other parent, but does she really need yet another Starbucks card that you know she’ll wind up giving you while she drinks her little drip coffee at home? 

We’d like to take this opportunity to argue on behalf of those moms everywhere. The moms who’ve become our emotional support humans, notoriously putting their family’s needs before their own. This year, you’re going to give her a present that not only shows you care enough to buy something on Amazon Prime at least two days in advance, but also that you value her well-being. She deserves a lil treat that encourages her to take more Me Time. And Mother’s Day is the perfect occasion to underline just how important her own self-care should be. 

To help you out, here’s a curated list of Mother’s Day gift ideas that emphasize mental! health! We’ve got recommendations for products that will help overly tired moms catch up on sleep, books that help break down buzzy topics like mindfulness, and tools that can help any mom learn how to relax. Feel free to add to cart and maybe even stock up for future holidays and birthdays. 

The post 16 Mother’s Day Gifts For the Mom Who Needs a Mental Break appeared first on Wondermind.

Stories Link Copied 02.20.24

13 Surprising Things People Learned From Their Parents’ Divorce

Shit happens, but there’s a silver lining. ByCarina Hsieh

Whether you were 5, 15, or older when your parents sat you down for The Announcement, chances are you remember the family shakeup of their divorce. At the time, you might’ve felt anxious, worried, sad, scared, or like you were to blame in some way when your parents split, says therapist Jayne Gottschalk, MA, LMFT. Maybe you still do? 

Despite whatever challenges you probably dealt with after your parents’ divorce (splitting holidays, meeting your new step-parents, and getting a real-world reality check early on), it’s possible to come out of that chapter as a stronger, more enlightened person. Going through a major change like that could boost your ability to spot red flags, learn to healthily navigate relationships, and more, Gottschalk explains. 

That’s not to say that you should toxic positivity your way through all this. The emotional and mental health repercussions of your parents breaking up are real—and some studies back that up. Still, as with any not-great experience, know that it is possible to grow from the dysfunction. Here, we asked people to share what they learned from their parents’ breakup and how those lessons impacted their lives in a good way. 

1. Families can survive. 

“I mostly learned that divorce can be good. The three of us (mom, dad, me) would’ve all been so much worse off if they had stayed together. Their divorce taught me to embrace the second act of life. They both went on to remarry the loves of their lives, which made me into a sister, an identity I hold dear. … When my dad was passing last year, my mom was there with me, and we all had a moment honoring the family that we had become over the years. Despite the split, it still felt like a victory. The last lesson about divorce from them was that love doesn’t ever really go away.” —Savannah D., 30

2. Being financially independent is crucial. 

“After 20 years together, my parents divorced when I was 13. Many years later, my mom shared that she’d been waiting to leave my father until knew she could be the sole financial provider for the two of us, despite physical and emotional abuse. I learned that people don’t stay in hard situations because they’re weak or they don’t know any better. Oftentimes, they stay until they have financial support. 

Now, I definitely have more compassion for people who stay in unhealthy relationships. It also made me consider my financial situation more heavily in decision-making around whether or not to start a family.” —Leanne A.*, 41

3. Marriage isn’t the only way to show your love and commitment.

“My parents divorced when I was three. I barely remember them being together, but I grew up knowing the split was because of an affair. I don’t care about getting married now because my parents’ separation showed it didn’t mean that much in terms of dedication to someone or how much you care about them. I’ve learned that you can show someone you care with lots of tiny, consistent gestures instead of one big one, like marriage. And you don’t do it for everyone else to see; you do it for your partner.” —Katie H., 32

4. Community is so important. 

“I learned how much work single parents have to put into raising kids and how important community can be. My brother and I had loads of people around us growing up: my mom’s friends were always around; we lived with our grandparents for a little bit, and they were a huge part of my life; we were really close with our mom’s work colleagues; and neighbors would watch us when our mom needed to go out. This meant that my mom had a really good support system but also that we had lots of other people in our lives so it didn’t feel like a huge gap was left when our dad was no longer around. ” —Katie H., 32

5. Fearing betrayal isn’t worth the energy. 

“My parents are three months freshly divorced, although they have been separated for about a year after 26 years of marriage. I had a great relationship with both my parents, but that changed when my dad went through what some call a ‘midlife crisis.’ 

At the time of the divorce, I was in a new marriage myself, and I had friends ask me if it affected the way I felt about it. While supporting my mom, she taught me not to be scared of love, marriage, or monogamy, as there were many other reasons their marriage didn’t work. While theirs ended badly, it doesn’t change the amazing 20 or so years they spent in happiness.” —Emma B., 27

6. Good communication is non-negotiable. 

“I learned from my mother how important communication is. If there’s something on your mind, you need to communicate that instead of sweeping it under the rug and building resentment for years and years until the issues become irreparable. My mom also taught me that therapy is imperative in times like these—couples therapy AND individual therapy, and that both parties need to be committed to it for it to work.” —Emma B., 27

7. All breakups aren’t all bad.

“It’s been 18 years and I’m still learning from my parents’ divorce all the time. I think if you’re suffering in a relationship, it’s OK for it to end. I’ve come to think of the end of partnerships less like deaths, and more like graduations. It was the right course for a while, we learned what we could from each other, and now it’s time to move on. While they’re difficult, of course, breakups aren’t failures, and knowing when it’s time for a relationship to end is something to celebrate.” —Olivia B.*, 30

8. Nothing is guaranteed, and that can be exciting. 

“Growing up, my parents’ split was like this big, early life plot twist. I was super young, so it was just me and my mom after that. The biggest thing I picked up was that nothing lasts forever. Kind of a heavy lesson for a kid, but it made me realize you’ve got to be your own rock. Relationships, jobs, whatever—they could all have an expiration date. It’s shaped how I see the world. Most things are temporary and may come to an end. But that’s why it’s beautiful.” —Tiger J., 23

9. I learned to date with intention. 

“My parents’ divorce was pretty foundation-shaking at the time and took me years to process and put it into perspective. … As a kid, I was worried about love and marriage after their separation, but I’m more excited about [those life events] now. Their divorce taught me to build relationships with intention and care and to openly communicate with a partner, which I’m not sure they did.”  —John A., 32

10. I learned to foster my own values and opinions.

“It taught me a lot about independence. I have always been a solo act in many ways, but at the age of 12 when my parents told me they’re splitting up, I really dove into my own world and learned how to survive emotionally by myself. I’m incredibly independent now and am so proud of that. It taught me resilience, adaptability, and most of all, how to build my own life and my own ways of seeing love and the world at large. I wouldn’t change the past. I couldn’t even fathom putting my parents back together now if I could. I am the person I am because of the divorce, and I think I’m much stronger for it.” —John A., 32

11. Don’t let someone walk all over you. 

“I was in my late 20s when my parents divorced after 40 years, and I was newly dating my now-husband. It helped me learn that at some point in their marriage (or even from the beginning), my mom just accepted that her needs and wants weren’t a priority. She took a backseat in her life instead of standing her ground if she sensed issues. I’m so proud of her for finding her voice. It taught me to speak up about any issues or problems, as well as my wants and needs, and to make sure my husband and I are both equal partners and participants in the relationship.” —Stella C.*, 34

12. Parents aren’t the only relationship role models. 

“As someone who grew up watching a lot of television where couples stay together no matter what, I always thought that my parents should be role models for a healthy relationship. As an adult, I learned that is just not true. I developed so many wonderful friendships with couples who love each other and that I can learn from. All of this made me realize I’m never alone in life and that sometimes your role models are your peers.” —Luke J., 32

13. Therapy can help you figure out how it’s affected you—even if you didn’t think it did.  

“I was 20 and away at college when my parents got divorced. And while it definitely shook me and led to a fun little bout of depression and anxiety, I thought I was too grown for it to have any lasting impact on how I viewed relationships—especially since there was still so much love and respect between them (even today, our family group chat includes BOTH families). But of course it did! It wasn’t until I finally started therapy a decade later—while dealing with my own rocky relationship—that I realized how much the divorce actually affected me. Therapy was such an eye opener for seeing all the fears, triggers, and flawed assumptions I was carrying around and how to move forward in a healthier way. 10/10, can’t recommend it enough.” —Casey G., 35 

*Names have been changed.

Quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post 13 Surprising Things People Learned From Their Parents’ Divorce appeared first on Wondermind.

Explainer Link Copied 12.07.23

Going Nonverbal Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means

Having a drained social battery doesn’t count. ByCarina Hsieh

If you’ve been on TikTok recently, you’ve probably seen creators mentioning “going nonverbal” and joking about their social batteries running out after vibing at a party for a second too long (or hitting the weed pen too hard). While most people have experience with this feeling of suddenly getting introspective and verbally withdrawn, the “going nonverbal” punchline trivializes a symptom experienced by people with autism—a point some content creators have already made. 

This isn’t the first time the meme cycle has taken a mental health term out of context (hi, trauma bonding and codependency), and we’re not here to judge you for the likes and shares. Still, setting the record straight can help us understand ourselves and others even more. It also enables us to avoid co-opting or watering down language that serves specific or already stigmatized populations. With that in mind, read on for what going nonverbal actually means, what it feels like, and more accurate ways to express that fading-into-the-background-feeling.

First, what does nonverbal even mean?

This has two meanings, says licensed psychologist David Tzall, PsyD. The first official definition is an adjective that describes communicating without words by choice. Think: shrugging your shoulders or discreetly grabbing your friend to make sure they clocked your mutual’s wild statement too. 

The second interpretation, while not an official clinical definition, describes when someone is only able to communicate using a few words, is totally mute, or is limited to expressing themselves through pointing or grunting, Dr. Tzall explains. This form of being nonverbal is not a choice and can impact a person’s functioning and quality of life, Dr. Tzall adds. 

The inability to speak can impact people with autism who haven’t developed verbal skills, who struggle with person-to-person communication, or who have speech disorders, like apraxia of speech. For nonverbal autistic people, speech therapy may help, but developing or regaining language isn’t a guarantee, says psychiatrist Judith Joseph, MD.

Becoming involuntarily nonverbal is also something that can happen to trauma survivors, Dr. Joseph explains. If their flight, fight, or freeze response is activated, people with a history of trauma can experience a form of dissociation that renders them unable to speak—even if they wanted to, she adds. “Sometimes the person feels detached from their body or their surroundings, and they have no control over this.” Dr. Joseph says.

Being somewhat or completely nonverbal is also a symptom of certain types of aphasia, a communication disorder that’s brought on by brain injury, stroke, or a progressive neurological disease, like Alzheimer’s. 

All of this is to say that these memes about “going nonverbal” are totally missing the fact that many people have no choice over the matter, Dr. Tzall says. It’s the difference between someone who prefers to be more reserved in certain situations and someone who cannot speak—even if they really want to—because they’re neurodivergent or dealing with a physical or mental health condition, he explains. “Not having the ability to communicate and being truly nonverbal is a form of a disability. When people inappropriately label themselves as going ‘nonverbal’ by choice, it discredits the communities that have very real challenges and disabilities,” Dr. Joseph adds. 

Why it sometimes feels so hard to talk even if you’re not nonverbal

One of the reasons this concept became a thing in the meme world is because a lot of us have verbally Irish exited a social interaction when we’re just too exhausted to keep up a conversation. Ambiverts, you definitely get this. “Shutting down is a natural instinct among humans and animals to preserve safety and security,” Dr. Tzall adds.

This experience could be more common in people with anxiety or depression, who might find themselves more easily depleted and have less of a desire to engage with others, Dr. Tzall explains. 

So, even if you can typically talk without issue in various other situations, anxiety can really eff with your conversational skills and make you feel like you have no control. It’s much harder to be charming when you’re already using so much brain power to spiral through scary what-if scenarios or worry about what people think of you (like with social anxiety).

People with depression can face similar struggles when they’re dealing with extreme fatigue. Maybe this is obvious, but it can be extra challenging or overwhelming to talk when a depressive episode leaves you barely able to shower or eat a legit meal, Dr. Joseph says. Having a hard time focusing or low self-worth, which is common in people with depression, can also make you withdraw from chitchat, Dr. Tzall adds.

Here’s what you should say instead. 

There’s nothing wrong with admitting you need to tap out or sharing your social depletion story on the internet, but maybe a better way to describe it would be something like “I’m shutting down,” “feeling flooded,” or “getting overwhelmed,” suggest Dr. Joseph and Dr. Tzall. “Powering down” and “low-battery mode” might also be solid options, if you can relate. 

Whatever you call it, consider this permission to delete yourself from that situation and head out to recharge. Since it’s pretty clear most of us have been there, no one’s judging.

The post Going Nonverbal Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 07.24.23

4 Ways to Social Media-Proof Your Brain—From TikTok Therapists Who Get It

If you’re extremely online, this is for you. ByCarina Hsieh

Despite how good it can feel to window shop Instagram, stay in touch with your peeps, monitor the news you care about, and also watch every single “Attenzione pickpocket!!” TikTok, sometimes social media can make you feel mentally and emotionally shitty. 

And that’s especially true for the youths. ICYMI, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, MD, recently issued an advisory highlighting concerns about how the apps can lead to an increased risk of depression, anxiety, and disordered eating in adolescents and young adults. 

But whether you’re a 10th grader or a grown adult, social media can mess with anyone’s mind. I mean, fretting about how many likes you got or whether turning them off makes you look like a loser can make a dent in your emotional wellbeing no matter how old you are. Plus, seeing the best parts of everyone’s lives play out on your tiny screen can trigger intense FOMO and even depression. And then there’s the hard-to-avoid body and beauty comparisons that can lead to low self-esteem. Basically, there are endless ways the garbage in your algo can hurt you, says therapist Jeff Guenther, LPC. Ugh.

Scrolling for hours on end can also mean you’re not chilling with your friends or making time for the 12th hobby you’ve tried to pick up this month, says psychologist Thai Alonso, PhD (aka Dr. T). And all that can make you feel lonely, isolated, and like you’re not making the most of your day, she adds. 

That said, it’s possible to social media-proof your brain (to some extent) so you can enjoy the good stuff and avoid the rest. So, given that we’re pretty much all online all the time (with no end in sight), these two extremely online therapists are here to school us in healthy scrolling. 

1. Flex those block, mute, and unfollow muscles. 

When your feed shows every person and their mother seemingly having a Tomato Girl Summer chartering boats off the Med, and your life is more…borrowing your mom’s old Prius to go to TJ Maxx for the A/C, it sucks. In these less-than-picturesque situations, it’s super easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to the unrealistic or idealized images splashed across social media. That can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and depression, says Guenther. Yep, fun.

To ward off harmful comparison habits, be mindful about what content you engage with and follow, he suggests. That could look like unfollowing, blocking, or muting accounts that make you feel less-than, he adds. Then, you’d replace them with other (ideally, diverse) creators who promote values you believe in and/or anyone whose content seems like they might build up your self-confidence, suggests Dr. Alonso. 

Despite your best efforts at curating an algorithm that’s enjoyable and benefits your mental health, once in a while, a post pops up in your feed or on your Explore or For You page that makes you wanna throw your phone away. When that happens, channel your uncomfy feels into tapping that “not interested” button on TikTok or Instagram or use the mute setting so you won’t see similar content on your feed as much. 

Over time, your social media feeds can become a space where you feel free to relate and share and create a sense of community, rather than feeling excluded, judged, or otherwise criticized (by others OR yourself). “By adopting these habits, you can reduce feelings of inadequacy and increase feelings of self-esteem,” Guenther says. When you’re able to remind yourself that life is not a competition and what you see on your screen may not be representative of reality, you could start to feel less anxious or stressed by unrealistic expectations and standards.

2. Act like a strict parent. 

Do you consistently plow past those, “You’ve been scrolling for a while now” PSAs but also feel overwhelmed by information and compelled to be online all the time? If so, boundaries are gonna be your friend here. Essentially, Guenther says to think of it like you’re a parent who wants to make sure their kid has other stuff going on beyond cyberspace. 

When you place limits on how and when you use social media, you may feel less overwhelmed and anxious and find it easier to focus, Guenther says. He suggests setting timers for your apps and taking advantage of your screen time report to monitor your daily usage. So if an app always leaves you feeling bad (no matter how little or how much time you spend on it), then you’ll want to decide how much you can realistically cut back. That might look like setting a time limit or just not reaching for your phone on your lunch break or making Sunday an app-free day. When you get more comfortable being without your phone, you could challenge yourself to spend even more time away from the apps.

For those of us who need to be on social media for work (like these extremely online mental health pros), it might feel impossible or at least v. difficult to set these boundaries. In that case, try to maximize the time you don’t spend on your phone. Enjoy your offline hours by focusing on tech-free activities (like puzzling, going for a walk, rearranging your bedroom—again) or just getting shit done that doesn’t require gazing into the pixelated abyss. 

3. Sound the alarm if you need extra help. 

Unfortunately, being online means there’s a chance you might face web-based harassment when User09876329374 or a literal bot refuses to GTFO of your DMs and comments. And that can cause significant emotional distress and trauma. 

If that ever happens to you, “report and block bullies immediately,” Guenther says. If you’re a student or a kid and this happens, you’ll also want to tell a trusted adult or a school authority. And if the harassment is work-related, contact your supervisor or your HR department. “It is important to remember that you do not have to face this alone. Do not take this lightly,” Guenther adds. 

While there’s no federal law on bullying, there are some harassment laws and criminal laws that might overlap with what you’re experiencing, so reporting to your local authorities is important if you want to take legal action. And, in doing so, you can help create a safer online environment for the rest of your community, Guenther notes. 

One more thing on this: It’s very OK to make your account private or limit who can interact with it—embrace a mysterious enigmatic new personality! Or, at the very least, make people look you up on LinkedIn, where you can see who’s creeping. 

4. Be skeptical of mental health advice.

Obvious statement: There’s a lot of inaccurate information on social media, and I’m not just talking about outrageous political ads. It seems like every influencer these days is trying to convince you that looking up an actor during a movie def means you may have ADHD (even though you already talked to your docs about this the last time ADHD was having a moment on TikTok). 

By being a skeptical consumer of mental health info you see on social media, you’ll set yourself up to better judge what’s legit. Noticing misinformation and unfollowing accounts that promote junk can help further curate your feed in a way that makes you feel less anxious and stressed that something is wrong with you.

If you struggle to decipher what’s factual, Dr. Alonso suggests cutting out the middleman by checking in with reliable sources. Say you see someone talking about the trauma-busting benefits of tapping, which sounds too good to be true. You could search for other experts in the trauma field to see if they have any takes on this mental fitness technique and cross-check the info, Dr. Alonso says. 

If you’re stumped on what counts as a reliable source (whether you’re doing your own research or a supposed expert randomly appears on your feed), use your detective skills to verify the person’s licensure or certifications. For starters, look to see if their degrees and/or state license information is on their website and matches state records. (BTW, each state will have their own database, and it will look something like this one from Texas.) If you have a therapist, you could also straight-up ask them what’s what in your next session.

And, finally, looking to large, research-based organizations is a great way to get to the bottom of big mental health claims, she says. A few favorites include the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA), the American Psychological Association (APA), and The Trevor Project. 

The post 4 Ways to Social Media-Proof Your Brain—From TikTok Therapists Who Get It appeared first on Wondermind.

Explainer Link Copied 11.30.22

Everything You Need to Know About 988

The suicide prevention hotline got a glow-up, but how’s that going? ByCarina Hsieh

This past summer, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which was first established in 2001, transitioned to a new, easy-to-remember number: 988. The goal was to make support for suicide and mental health crises more accessible, but the refresh brings up lots of very good, super important questions. 

Maybe the most pressing Q (besides, what is 988?) is, who is 988 even for? Well, anyone in the United States and American territories experiencing emotional distress or a mental health or a substance use crisis can call 988. So can family members and friends who want to help a loved one in those situations, says mental health expert Elliot Pinsly, LCSW, president of the Behavioral Health Foundation. That’s because 988 staff are trained to help people thinking of self-harm and people who are experiencing behavioral health issues—not just suicide—Pinsly says. 

Ultimately, the aim of making 988 a thing is to reduce the stigma of reaching out for help, says therapist Kiana Shelton, LCSW. Just like a lot of people wouldn’t hesitate to call 911 if their house was on fire, the creators of the hotline don’t want you to feel ashamed or think twice about calling 988 if there’s a mental health situation that needs de-escalation. (Of course, if someone needs immediate medical attention or someone’s life is in danger, you should call 911.) 

How does the 988 hotline work? 

Just like the old number, the new one provides 24/7 access to trained mental health crisis counselors (and translators for more than 240 languages, if you need one) via the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 

Texting 988 will set you up with the same services via text, which might be more accessible and discreet depending on your situation. Oh, and if you use a teletypewriter (TTY), you can use your usual relay service or call 711 before dialing 988. 

Who’s on the other end of the call? 

The 988 network is made up of more than 200 call centers that are staffed by trained volunteers and paid crisis counselors, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). 

When you call or text, the staff could also transfer you to a line that’s dedicated to serving veterans or people who speak Spanish, if you want. There’s also a 24/7 phone line for people under 25 who are members of the LGBTQ+ community. As of now, the 25 and under LGBTQ+-focused text and chat hours are limited to 3 p.m. ET to 2 a.m. ET until these lines are fully staffed up. 

If you’re not looking to speak with someone who has one of those specialties, you’ll chat with a local center. And if they can’t accept your call, you’ll be transferred to the national network where you can talk through whatever’s on your mind. (The 988 website also hosts a ton of info and resources for specific communities, like people with neurodivergence, suicide attempt survivors, Black people, Native Americans and Alaskan Natives, and disaster survivors.)

A thing worth noting: Even though 988 has training tools and resources for every call center, training isn’t standardized across states—yet. That means until legislators nail down a standard curriculum that’s used across the country (coming this fall, per the 988 FAQ page), each center will use their community’s needs to develop training programs. But don’t let that freak you out. “Generally, 988 call takers receive evidence-based suicide prevention training at minimum,” Pinsly adds.

How confidential is 988 really?

First, if you’re worried about your call to the suicide prevention hotline showing up on your phone bill, keep in mind that it could happen depending on your phone company. 

Otherwise, calls and texts to 988 are confidential-ish, per the Federal Communications Commission. The hotline can see your area code or IP address, which is what they use to try to connect you with a local call center, but you don’t have to give them any personal or identifying information to get help. And (FWIW) any demographic info the counselor requests from you can only be used to keep you from hurting yourself or others and to help lawmakers spot areas for improvement (e.g. if they need a bigger budget to be better at serving an area), Pinsly says. 

Unlike 911, 988 can’t geolocate or “trace” your call for emergencies, according to 988’s FAQ page. However, if the trained counselor thinks you might be at risk of hurting yourself or others in that moment—and the de-escalation process isn’t helping—they may ask for your location (or try to use your area code or IP address) so they can send law enforcement and an ambulance. 

In that case, the counselors can also give local law enforcement your phone number or IP address if they think it’s necessary to get to you. That said, the counselors are trained to only call first responders and police when someone needs to be rescued, says Pinsly.

Also, the 988 administrators assured users in their FAQ section that they do not sell or share data related to 988 calls or texts, which is definitely a win.

Regardless of counselors’ best intentions, it makes sense if you’re still skeptical of a service that can send law enforcement—who aren’t always trained in mental health—to wherever you’re calling from (especially for historically marginalized and over-policed groups).

So, is this even helpful?

Yes! While calling 988 is no substitute for ongoing care from a licensed mental health professional (which, true, are still hard to find and/or afford), the new number can definitely help people “stay safe, formulate a plan, problem solve, and get connected to ongoing support in their area,” Shelton says. 

In August 2022, incoming calls, texts, and chats to the Suicide Prevention Crisis Hotline were 45% higher than in August 2021, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). Plus, the hotline now known as 988 cut down the average time it took for a call to be answered from more than two minutes to about 42 seconds, per HHS.

Over time, 988 could also help destigmatize mental health care and make it easier for people to remember who to call when they’re going through a rough time. Here’s hoping! 

The post Everything You Need to Know About 988 appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 10.21.22

Am I Allowed to Tell My Partner to Go to Therapy?

Permission (sort of) granted. ByCarina Hsieh

If your partner has been down on themselves lately, won’t stop venting about work stress, or keeps doing or saying things that make you feel shitty, it’s real normal to think, Hey, maybe therapy is the answer here? And while convincing someone to go to therapy is tricky territory, telling a person you care about that a mental health professional could help them is totally fine, says psychologist Justin Puder, PhD. 

The catch is that doing so requires a lot of freaking nuance. That’s because, as their partner, you’re one of their biggest allies and supporters. So for you to say, “Hey, maybe you need some therapy?” a suggestion that, unfortunately, is still loaded with a lot of stigma, it can bring up some tough feelings for them, says researcher Ijeoma Opara, PhD, LMSW, MPH, and assistant professor at Yale University’s department of social and behavioral sciences. “It can be a sensitive topic that sometimes seems like an insult because of the way mental health issues are viewed in our society,” says Dr. Opara. “[That] creates so many barriers to seeking and receiving care.” 

So, with all of that in mind, here’s exactly what to say if you want to suggest your partner go to therapy, how to say it, and how to navigate whatever comes next. 

How to bring up therapy without being a jerk

No matter how your partner is acting, you never want to say anything like “You’re crazy! You need a therapist!” or “You’re a broken person that clearly needs therapy,” says therapist Jeff Guenther, LPC.

Besides being mean and judgmental, this shame-y language can hurt your partner’s feelings, make them feel attacked, and trigger defensiveness. And while it can be hard to hold back during a fight, telling them that they need professional mental health help mid-argument is likely to backfire, says Guenther. 

Your goal here is to bring up the idea of seeking therapy during a moment when the two of you are feeling close and connected, he adds. Maybe you’re driving back from an event together or you’re eating dinner at home or just hanging someplace that feels safe. Whatever the location, Dr. Puder suggests naming the concerning behavior coming from your partner and reminding them that their wellbeing is important to you. That could sound like, “I’ve noticed you have lower energy and are avoiding things you normally enjoyed doing. I care about you and know that you could feel better, and I want that for you.” 

From there, if you’ve been to therapy, you can share how that process made your life better, says Dr. Puder. That helps normalize therapy as something beneficial rather than somewhere you need to go to be fixed. If you haven’t been to therapy, maybe you mention a friend’s experience or just say that you’ve been hearing a lot about how useful it is. “You want to offer the possibility of therapy as a way to help them work through issues you see them struggling with so they can feel more at peace with themselves,” says Guenther.

You can also ask them if it would be helpful for you to start looking for therapists who accept their insurance, are within their budget, or specialize in the areas they want to work on (or all of the above). Just be willing to dig in if they take you up on it. 

How to suggest therapy if your relationship is suffering

When your partner’s general vibe or actions have made your relationship feel off, it’s important to make the therapy convo about the two of you—not just them. “People never want to feel like they are the problem in a relationship,” says Dr. Opara. And, the truth is, relationship issues usually aren’t just one person’s fault. Thus, “both parties should reflect on how they may have contributed to any issues arising,” adds Dr. Opara. 

Couples therapy is a great option for working through that stuff, says Dr. Opara. You can bring up the idea of couples counseling by saying something like, “We need to work together because I feel disconnected from you when you do ______. I think the best way for us to grow together is by talking with a professional,” says Dr. Puder. 

You can also bring up the idea of seeing therapists separately. If your partner has never been to therapy, that can make it feel a lot less scary and intimidating, says Dr. Opara.  

“By both of you engaging in therapy, whether it be couples or individual therapy, it allows you to focus more on being healthier people and strengthening your relationship so that you can enjoy it,” adds Dr. Opara. 

What to do when they’re not super into the idea 

If you came at them from a non-judgmental place and they’re still responding with, “meh,” ask them why they don’t want to go and “be compassionate and understanding of their reasons,” Guenther says. From there, “do your best to explain why it could be a positive experience.” 

Obviously, those who know, know that therapy can be a super beneficial experience. But when someone demands you go right now, it can feel jarring and make you feel on guard. So keep in mind that it could take months for your partner to get on board with going to therapy.

In the meantime, you can continue to gently, kindly (but also directly) nudge them toward finding a counselor. Just remember that they might need more time than you’d prefer. 

What you should know before making therapy an ultimatum

Most people who seek therapy on their own spend years thinking about it before actually booking a session, says Guenther. And that’s a good thing since therapy requires clients to be in it for themselves and willing to do the work to change based on their therapist’s feedback, says Dr. Opara. If they’re only in it to appease you, that’s not helpful for anyone. 

So, “if you can avoid it, don’t use therapy as an ultimatum,” Guenther says. In his experience, that just leads someone to resent the process and their partner for making them go through it. Plus, if you’re at the point where you’re willing to walk if they don’t go to counseling, it’s possible you’re already past the point of no return. 

Ultimately, if you’re threatening to end the relationship unless your partner gets mental health help, consider whether this relationship is really one you need to be in. “You can end a relationship if it is not meeting your needs for any reason,” says Guenther. 

One last thing to keep in mind here is that therapy might not be the answer to your relationship struggles, says Dr. Opara. “You can be both emotionally and mentally healthy but just not be a good fit,” she says.

What to do once they start seeing a therapist

Once that mental health ~journey~ begins, it’s gotta be their own. If they found a therapist and booked an individual appointment, you might be tempted to ask for insights on how it’s going or whether they’ve had any life-altering epiphanies, but be respectful of their privacy. “Some folks love to process how therapy went after each session, some people feel better keeping things private so they don’t feel pressure to prove that they’re ‘improving,’” says Guenther. Still, you can leave the door open for updates by saying, “It is your therapy journey, but if you want to share parts of that with me, I’m here to listen,” says Dr. Puder. Overall, just try to appreciate that they’re doing something that can improve their relationship with themself and with you.

The post Am I Allowed to Tell My Partner to Go to Therapy? appeared first on Wondermind.