Stories Link Copied 02.26.25

20 Conversation Starters for Anyone Struggling to Connect

Because you’re not actually bad at socializing. ByIsabel Mata Additional reporting bySam Brodsky

In case you missed it, an important part of being human is connecting with other humans! It makes us feel good! But when you inevitably run out of things to say or don’t know where to begin, keeping some good conversation starters handy can be extra helpful. 

That’s especially true if you’re trying to get to know someone. The right Qs can encourage people to share their thoughts and experiences, which helps build trust, says licensed psychologist Luke Allen, PhD. 

That said, you don’t have to stress too much about asking the most perfect question ever. Any prompt that shows curiosity and openness can create a connection, says psychologist Kyler Shumway, PsyD. “Even a simple question, when asked sincerely, can lead to a meaningful and memorable exchange,” he adds.

Luckily, with the help of mental health pros and chatty people, we’ve come up with a list of smart conversation starters that do all that great stuff. Bookmark these for your next function and find out!

(Plus, if you’re looking for more conversation-starter inspo, check out these Would You Rather questions for adults, first date questions, and ice breakers for work. You’re welcome!)

1. What was the last song you sang out loud or danced to?

“This question is a little silly, which hopefully helps both people relax a bit. You can also learn more about the person—other than what songs they listen to. You might find out whether they like to sing and dance with others or prefer a solo session. Maybe they don’t sing or dance a lot. Maybe they prefer silence, stillness, or quiet spaces. The more you know!” —clinical psychologist Nina Polyné, PsyD

2. What’s something that surprised you about yourself in the last year?

“I love this conversation starter because it invites self-reflection and can lead to meaningful discussions about personal growth, unexpected challenges, or even moments of joy. It’s also open-ended enough to allow people to share at whatever depth they’re comfortable with. Be prepared with your own answer too. Nothing kills a conversation quite like asking someone to pour their heart out when you aren’t ready to do the same.” —speaker and licensed clinical psychologist Kyler Shumway, PsyD

3. If tomorrow morning all of your insecurities were gone, what would you do differently?

“This is inspired by solution-focused therapy. I love it because it gives them permission to open up in an unedited or uninhibited way. It allows them to be more vulnerable about their dreams and passions, letting us peek into their inner world.” —therapist Katie Miles, LMFT

4. What’s something you used to be embarrassed about but now think is cool?

“This question requires some vulnerability, allowing you to ditch perfection, celebrate growth, and relate to the other person. We all have that one thing we wished we could have changed about ourselves as kids, and, with shadow work, we see that our quirks are what make us unique and memorable.” —clinical psychologist Nina Polyné, PsyD

5. If you could relive any moment from your past, what would it be?

“This question can prompt deeper storytelling and reflection, allowing the other person to share the experiences that shaped them. Whether it’s a moment of personal triumph, connection, or pure joy, their answer can offer insight into what brings them fulfillment and what they hold dear. It also creates an opportunity for shared nostalgia, which can strengthen a bond.” —speaker and licensed clinical psychologist Kyler Shumway, PsyD

6. What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?

“If I’m trying to get to know someone better, I want to find out if we share similar values. Since travel, spontaneity, and general zest of life are important to me, I use this to find out what adventure means to them. Whether it’s facing Costco on a Saturday morning or bungee jumping in Costa Rica, their answer will gauge how compatible we are.” —Amanda E., 25

7. If money weren’t a problem, what would you do on your average Tuesday?

“I love asking this because it gets to the core of who someone really is and what they would do if they didn’t have to worry about general survival things like taxes and making dinner. I have met so many people who surprised me because their response was something totally different from what they currently do. Like an engineer who would spend their time running a library or perusing an old bookstore! —Avery B., 23

8. If you could have a conversation with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you ask them?

“This gets to the heart of someone’s interests. It’s like opening a window into who they admire or find fascinating. Plus, the kind of questions they’d pose say a lot about what matters to them.” —Jacky Q., 34

9. What is the biggest compliment you could receive?

“Someone’s answer reveals how they would like to be perceived. It can give insight into how someone is trying to portray themselves, what personal qualities they respect the most, as well as what their goals might be.” —therapist Hannah Mayderry, LMHC

10. What’s an experience you believe everyone should have at least once?

“I love asking this to new people because it gets someone to talk about themselves and the things they have gone through in a way that isn’t traumatizing. And it gives me an opportunity to share some of my own experiences, potentially finding things in common along the way.” —Isabel C., 26

11. If you had three wishes, what would they be?

“What someone wishes for can signal their values. For example, if they say they wish to win the lottery, this could be a sign that they value financial stability and freedom. Wishing to spend more time with loved ones would indicate the importance they place on quality time. A wish for good health would show signs they prioritize health over material objects.” —therapist Kara Kays, LMFT

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would it be?

“If you want to ask someone a deep question but are worried about scaring them off, I like to pick one that’s fun and thought-provoking without crossing personal boundaries. This helps me understand others a bit more while maintaining comfort.” —licensed psychologist Luke Allen, PhD

13. What makes you get up in the morning?

“I like to ask this because it shows what motivates people. You can learn a lot about someone by how they start their day and what they’re passionate about. This helps you identify people you share the same values with. Like if their passion is getting up to run before the sun is up, we may not be a great match.” —Richard M., 30

14. What do you want me to know?

“This shows what someone’s innermost self wants to communicate. As a therapist, I usually ask people what layers, experiences, or thoughts are beneath their interactions, and this prompt helps get at the same idea.” —therapist Nicole Nina, LCSW

15. What are you most proud of?

“Asking someone what they are most proud of gives a glimpse into what experiences or achievements they cherish. It can also show what someone cares about and what they’d want to work toward in the future. Since I really appreciate passion and ambition, this question gets to the deep stuff quickly.” —Gaby S., 23

16. Do you have a favorite quote that inspires you?

“This topic lets you find out where someone gets their inspiration—whether it’s from books, a great movie, famous people, or someone who means a lot to them. It’s a good way to learn what keeps them going and what they find interesting.” —therapist Lana Lipe, LCSW

17. If you could pick one TV show to describe the relationship you have with your family, what would it be?

“Since family is really important to me, I want to know right away whether or not someone shares that belief. This is a fun way to have that conversation—as long as their answer isn’t Succession or something too intense.” —Carly S., 18

18. What’s the most generous thing you’ve ever done for yourself?

“This question is inherently positive and focuses on self-kindness rather than personal shortcomings or negative experiences. It not only generates a more constructive conversation but also motivates and inspires others to be more compassionate with themselves.” —therapist Eden Katz, LCSW

19. You’ve had a rough day at work. What do you do to relax?

“I think how someone recharges and takes care of themself is a beautiful way to see how their mind works. Like, if they relax by scrolling on social media, that tells me something different than someone who says they meditate or read a book.” —Kayla O., 22

20. If there was a museum featuring artifacts from your life, what items would be must-see exhibits, and what stories would they tell?

“Unleashing creativity in conversation can lead to rich and revealing insights. This question not only encourages self-reflection but also allows individuals to share the narrative of their lives through the lens of personal belongings, opening the door to meaningful and unique connections.” —therapist Dolly Ferraiuolo, LCSW

Quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity. 

The post 20 Conversation Starters for Anyone Struggling to Connect appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 09.23.24

How to Believe in Yourself When it Feels Impossible

It’s tough out there, kid. ByIsabel Mata

At the start of my freelance writing career, I felt like I could do anything I set my mind to. I fearlessly reached out to my favorite publications, pitching stories I wanted to write for them. I dreamed big and went for it! But then the rejections started to fill my inbox. How can you believe in yourself when those “thanks, but no thanks” feel like a punch to the gut? I seriously considered giving up.

Life setbacks, like breakups, job loss, missed opportunities, health issues—or any kind of rejection really—can trigger self-doubt. Feeling down about yourself can also happen when relatively cool, exciting things bubble up, like running a race, moving to a new place, or applying for your dream job. Basically, the reasons to feel bad about yourself and your abilities are endless. 

No matter the circumstances though, there are lots of ways this mindset can show up, says therapist John Tsilimparis, MFT, a Wondermind Advisory Committee member. 

One of them is measuring yourself against others and deciding that you’re less than them, says Tsilimparis. Maybe you see that your high school nemesis has a thriving real estate career, while you’re still trying to sort out what you want to do with your life. That can make it tough to believe in yourself.

Another common way insecurity shows up in the face of setbacks is focusing solely on our failures. It’s kind of like having tunnel vision. The possibility that you might not suck at whatever you’re pursuing or that you’re valuable in general may not occur to you. 

While you’d probably never tell a friend that they’re a terrible person because they didn’t get a promotion, it’s very easy to say that to yourself. This double standard, where we treat ourselves more harshly than we would anyone else, is extremely common in the face of adversity, says Tsilimparis. 

Despite the usual pitfalls of uncertainty, life transitions (good and bad) give us an opportunity to develop healthy coping skills we can use to believe in ourselves in the future, says Tsilimparis. Then, moving forward, we can tolerate whatever the world hands us with a little more ease, he adds. Voila! 

My healthy coping tool turned out to be phoning a friend. I reached out to a writer I admired to talk about my struggles and they said, “It only takes one yes to start your freelance career, so keep going.” This helped me push through the rejections, boost my self-esteem, and learn that setbacks don’t define us—how we respond to them does. 

Here, we spoke to mental health pros to find out the best ways to believe in yourself when you feel hopeless, doubtful, or just down in the dumps. Keep reading to find out how you can up your confidence now and prepare for future challenges like a damn champ.

1. Practice acceptance.

One of the hardest parts of experiencing a setback or going after a massive goal is getting bogged down by negative emotions and/or unrealistic expectations. That’s where coming to terms with whatever’s just happened (or didn’t happen) comes in handy. 

Instead of dwelling on that goal you didn’t hit or the next challenge in your way, try sitting with the reality of the situation. If you didn’t get the job, spend some time with that fact. How does that truth make you feel? Can you get used to that uncomfortable emotion instead of fighting it? It’s not fun to hang out with defeat or fear of the next chapter, but doing so helps you navigate transitions and challenges with greater ease. 

That’s because fighting those feelings or obsessing over how to change an unchangeable situation takes lots of mental and emotional energy. So, when you stop, you have more space to adapt and move forward in a positive way. 

Plus, acknowledging your experience enables you to accept the emotional pain as a part of life. Over time, that reduces the intensity of your response to setbacks, helping you manage them more effectively, Tsilimparis says. That practice is essential for believing in yourself and building confidence, he adds.

2. Challenge self-criticism with self-compassion.

While getting to a place of acceptance sounds great, it’s not always that easy. Sometimes, sitting with your emotions sends you into a spiral of negative thought patterns—and that’s not going to get you any closer to finding peace. 

So if you find yourself saying things like, “This sucks because I suck, and others don’t,” or “This will suck forever,” it’s time to fight back. 

While facing setbacks or a large goal can threaten your sense of identity, safety, and community, you can counteract these patterns by leaning into self-compassion, says psychotherapist Ellie Wilde, PhD. 

Here’s how it works: When you notice that your brain is throwing a lot of shade, take a pause. Then, ask if this judgey comment is truly realistic and/or if this is the way you’d speak to a friend. For example, if you’re hearing, “This sucks because I suck, and others don’t,” you can respond with, “Actually, this moment is hard, and everyone experiences tough times at some point.” This practice helps shift your mindset from self-criticism to self-compassion, making it easier to navigate challenges and maintain a more balanced view of your situation.

3. Lean on your support system.

Whether it’s talking to friends, family, or a therapist, external support can provide a fresh perspective and reassurance during tough times, says therapist Hallie Kritsas, LMHC. That’s especially helpful when you’re struggling to get out of your head or you’re beating yourself up since, as we know, it’s easier to give compassionate feedback to other people than ourselves.

When that happens, people you trust can offer encouragement, validate your feelings, and remind you of your strengths and past successes. Over the long run, that can help you gradually begin to believe in yourself. 

4. Do something fun.

It sucks to be bogged down in your own brain. And while it might feel impossible to enjoy yourself in the thick of The Situation, focusing on something unrelated (that you like doing) might shake you out of that “I hate myself” mindset. 

By going to a movie, starting a creative side project (pottery, anyone?), or just laying in some grass can make you feel less stressed about whatever you’re going through, says Kritsas. But if you don’t have the time or energy to take the day, making time for breaks to stare off into space or watch trash TV can create some small pockets of relief, she adds. 

When you’re not constantly ruminating on whatever’s stressing you out, you make room to feel good, which builds resilience, manages self-doubt, and keeps you grounded, says Kritsas. Love that for you. 

5. Give yourself a hug (it’s not that weird).

Aside from rebutting those rude, critical thoughts, self-compassion can also come in the form of physical touch, says Prerna Menon, LCSW, a psychotherapist and co-founder of Boundless Therapy. “If you are able to harness the power of self-compassion, you will grow to allow yourself grace, be curious in defeat, and feel resilient,” she explains.

That’s where the self-compassion hug enters the chat. When you’re feeling crappy, wrap your arms tightly around your body and take six or seven deep breaths. “Let the air fully fill your chest before you exhale, and make sure to hold on tight!” says Menon.

While it might seem simple (or even a little cheesy), a self-hug can help calm your mind and counteract harsh self-criticism by getting you into a more supportive, positive mindset. From there, it can be easier to build confidence and handle tough times.

6. Take a beat.

When shit goes down, it can be easy to let your negative emotions dictate your next move, says Tsilimparis. But feelings like anger, despair, frustration, and discouragement aren’t the most reliable (or rational), so following their lead might not get the results you’re after. 

For example, say you’re at work, and your manager gives you some constructive criticism on a project. If you’re emotionally reactive, you might perceive the feedback as a personal attack, even if it’s meant to help you improve. Instead of thinking, “This is a chance to get better at my job,” you might feel a surge of anxiety and self-doubt, leading you to believe that you’re not good enough or that you should quit. But taking a minute to assess the situation more rationally and respond in a balanced way can help you believe in yourself and work through whatever struggle comes up. 

7. Seek out positivity.

Generally speaking, people are wired to be more alert to negative outcomes and risks as a way to protect themselves against harm, says Dr. Wilde. After a setback, this negativity bias can make you overly cautious about new opportunities, they add. That’s kind of a problem if you’re going after a big goal. 

But by training your mind to notice positive cues—like small achievements, good feedback, or glimmers—you can significantly up your confidence and overcome negativity that follows rejection or failure. These positive signals reset your focus so you can start believing in yourself.

Start by keeping an eye out for positive experiences, even if they’re unrelated to whatever you’re trying to accomplish. Maybe the barista spells your name right. It’s a win! Perhaps your long-distance friend texts to check in on you. People love you! Maybe your boss compliments your latest project. You’re smart and capable!

8. Set SMART goals.

OK, you’ve probably heard of these, but hear us out. Breaking down big goals into smaller, manageable steps enables you to experience lots of little successes. That can build momentum, motivation, and reinforce your confidence in reaching a major achievement, says Tsilimparis. 

After you set out to do something major, see if you can make it even more effective by ensuring it follows the guidelines below.

• Make it specific. Define your goal with precise steps that are easy to understand. For example, “I will build my client roster,” becomes, “I will reach out to new clients each week to increase my chances of expanding my client base.”
• Make it measurable: Ensure your goal is easily quantifiable so you can track your progress. That might look like, “I will reach out to three new clients each week to increase my chances of expanding my client base.”
• Achievable: Ask yourself, is this measurement or benchmark too high? Too low? What would make it realistic given what the rest of my life looks like? 
• Relevant: Your measurable steps to achieving your goal should align with the big thing you’re trying to accomplish. So if your goal is to get a promotion, will having more clients get you there? Or is it actually not that important for the next professional step you want to take?
• Time-bound: Set an end date. What’s an appropriate deadline for you to assess your progress? If you’re not happy with your outcome, what can you do to move forward at that time?

9. Remember: This too shall pass

Even if it feels unchangeable, tough times are temporary setbacks, they’re not indicative of the rest of your life, says Tsilimparis. 

Sounds nice, but if you’re struggling to see beyond your current situation, journaling on past situations and how you overcame them can help you see that this won’t be forever either. Think about how you felt back then, how you dealt with it, and how long it took to start feeling better. This practice helps you reflect on past successes and reinforce your resilience.

If you’re in a spot where journaling just isn’t an option (or you don’t like it), you can also come up with a phrase that reminds you this is just temporary, says Tsilimaparis. Maybe it’s, This is a tough time right now. Or, I’m in survival mode, and that’s OK for now. You can repeat that anytime you’re feeling overwhelmed or knee-deep in self-doubt. You got this!

The post How to Believe in Yourself When it Feels Impossible appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 07.31.24

We Asked Couples Therapists About The Ick

Nope, it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. ByIsabel Mata

If you’ve been on TikTok lately or watching Love Island nonstop (both at the same time?), you’ve definitely heard about “the ick.” It’s that out-of-nowhere, grossed out feeling you get when the person you’re dating, just met, or even in a long-term relationship with does something totally benign yet also personally horrifying and your immediate (mental) reaction is: Ick.

It could be showing up in flip flops to go out for dinner, mispronouncing something, or loving Nicolas Cage movies. Whatever the infraction, no matter how petty, it causes a pretty seismic shift in your attraction to them. 

So, why do we get the ick and how bad is it exactly? Is it the kiss of death that most people make it out to be, or can someone come back from it? Also, should we even listen to the ick or are we all just being way too picky? We turned to mental health pros to get their take on this phenomenon. 

What is the ick?

It should come as no shock to you all that this is not a clinical term. That said,  “the ick” is basically a sudden and often inexplicable feeling of repulsion or aversion towards someone you were previously attracted to. That shift changes how you see them and can make you question future interactions or your relationship in general, says couples therapist Emily J. Burke, LMFT.

The ick isn’t that different from feeling disgusted, or that strong, self-protective reaction to something that might be harmful or unclean, says clinical psychologist Sasha Berger, PhD. Like disgust, the ick signals that a behavior or trait is inherently unpleasant or wrong (even if it’s just Crocs).

While this blegh experience is most common in the dating world and romantic partnerships, the ick can also happen with family, friends, co-workers, peers, or any relationship dynamic, Burke says.

Why do we get the ick? 

Most of the time, the ick stems from cultural or societal ideas that are ingrained in us, explains couples therapist Alejandra Galindo, LMFT. Like that people who look at themselves in windows as they walk by must be shallow, people who drop heavy weights in the gym must be deeply insecure, and those who say, “It’s the white elephant in the room,” must be not that bright. Of course, none of these things are inherently true, but depending on how you were raised or what societal messages you bought into, you probably have your own mental list of behaviors you deem personally unacceptable (or icky).

So, if someone acts in a way that defies your norms, you might get the ick as those social boundaries and your sense of what’s appropriate or attractive are reinforced. When it comes to romantic interests, your icks are probably related to specific traits that you’re looking for in a partner, even if the logic isn’t totally sound. For instance, maybe you’re most attracted to people with a confident or assertive vibe, so hearing your date accidentally snort-laugh gave you the biggest ick—even though it was fully involuntary and probably says nothing about who they are as a person or partner!  

How to get over the ick

Listen, it’s not easy to get past those unsettling feels, but if you take a sec to process, you can salvage the situation or just avoid judging someone based on a random thing they did (always helpful). 

The trick is to understand and address where this reaction came from, says Galindo. Say your immediate response to someone scooching across a booth on a date is *barf emoji*. Try to feel your feelings. Taking a pause can help you understand more about the emotions coming up to the surface when you’re icked out. It’s possible there’s some feelings underneath the ew, like fear or contempt. Those are definitely worth unpacking. 

Next, think about the origin story of this response. Once you understand why their actions set you off, you can address it, explains Burke.

That’s especially helpful if your ick is related to a bigger issue, like something that happened in your past (a toxic ex who was also a scoocher, perhaps?). But it’s not always that deep. Maybe you struggle with compromise or have unrealistic expectations of the people in our life. You could also just put a lot of stock into cultural norms and your level of cringe or embarrassment in this moment made you feel less excited about being seen with them. Whatever you discover, reflecting on the source can help you determine if this ick is more about you than them or a sign of a more serious incompatibility, explains Galindo.

From there, you can take action. For example, if this turnoff stems from ingrained societal norms or personal biases, spend time thinking about all the reasons why they did or said whatever grossed you out. Curiosity is key, says Burke. Maybe scooching is the only way to move in that particular seating situation or they just really love wearing flip flops. Challenging your assumptions and reevaluating your standards can help you navigate relationships with more flexibility and less judgment. 

If you discover that your reaction is linked to past trauma, working through these issues with a therapist can be beneficial. Dr. Berger adds, “Healing from past emotional triggers can help reduce the intensity of the ick and make it easier to approach relationships with a fresh perspective.”

And, just to be clear, sometimes icks actually do illuminate an obvious sign of incompatibility. For instance, if you get the ick from someone being short with a waiter, lighting up a cigarette, or rolling their eyes at a crying baby, those might be more about mismatched values or personalities than arbitrary ick responses. So if you realize this ick is actually tied up in one of your relationship non-negotiables, it might not be something you “get over” but it probably warrants a conversation.  

Should I tell someone they gave me the ick? 

In some cases, it can actually be really helpful. Talking about an ick that’s rooted in trauma from your past or that can’t be solved by lowering your standards (or both) can help you manage and even overcome these feelings. That can lead to a healthier, more fulfilling relationship in the long run, explains Galindo.

That said, don’t skip those steps above. Unfortunately, just blurting out, “OMG. Never again!” without reflecting on the feelings it brings up and where that response might have come from isn’t very helpful for either of you. If you rush this convo, it’s highly likely that the person you’re with will feel defensive and shut down, Galindo adds. So, sit with the ick, identify those emotions, think about where this aversion came from, and talk to your partner about what you learned using I statements, suggests Galindo. That will help you communicate your feelings while minimizing the risk of hurt feelings—no matter how niche your ick.

The post We Asked Couples Therapists About The Ick appeared first on Wondermind.

Stories Link Copied 06.04.24

11 Conversation Starters That Will Instantly Cure Any Social Awkwardness

It’s time to level up your small talk. ByIsabel Mata

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation, palms sweating, itching for something (anything!) to say that isn’t about the weather? Or maybe you want to get to know someone more but worry about getting too real too fast and making them super uncomfortable? Everyone feels socially awkward sometimes. And while we can’t promise you won’t ever say the wrong thing, being armed with some solid ice breaker questions can make your next social gathering a lot less scary. 

Heads up: Feeling absolutely panicked at the idea of socializing with a group of strangers or even making casual chitchat with colleagues might be a sign of social anxiety. So if this is something you deal with often and it’s kind of ruining your life, it’s worth bringing up to a therapist or health care provider to learn better ways of managing it than holing up in your room.  

But not everyone who feels socially awkward or sucks at small talk is dealing with social anxiety. You might be shy, introverted, or extra self-conscious. Maybe this just wasn’t a skill you picked up on as a kid, says licensed therapist Lana Lipe, LCSW. For instance, if your parents were yappers who dominated every conversation, you might not have learned how to confidently engage with others, leaving you to feel unprepared and anxious in social settings today. And then there’s the way the prolonged pandemic shutdown and isolation left many people feeling even more awkward, disconnected, and out of practice when it comes to socializing, she adds. 

Wherever you are on the socially-awkward-at-parties spectrum, having some good conversation starters in your back pocket can help you feel a little more prepared. We asked therapists for their favorite ice breakers that go beyond “what’d you do this weekend” without getting weird. Feel free to steal these for your next social gathering.

1. What’s the best trip you have ever taken?

“Instead of sticking to the same old surface-level questions, why not try something a bit more profound? Most people are OK with talking about themselves, so asking about someone’s passions or memorable experiences can really kick start the conversation and even put them in a happier, more relaxed mood. This is helpful because it’s easier to engage with people who seem glad to be talking to you and are enjoying the conversation, in addition to creating a space for connection.” —licensed clinical social worker Dolly Ferraiuolo, LCSW

2. What do you think about _____?

“For the start-up or surface-level interactions, easy ‘ins’ can be about the environment you’re in. If it’s a restaurant, bar, or something like a sporting event, ask the person how they feel about it. Try: ‘How do you feel about the [insert sports team here] this season?’ or ‘What’s your favorite thing to order at [insert restaurant or bar name here].’ These questions provide an opening to a conversation that can easily lead to learning more about someone else’s personality.” —licensed mental health counselor Hallie Kritsas, LMHC

3. Why did you decide to pursue _____?

“To get to know someone beyond small talk, combine ‘what’ questions about facts with ‘why’ questions that reveal someone’s motivations and values. For example, after asking ‘what’s your job?’ follow up with, ‘Why did you choose that career?’ ‘What’ gets the basics, while ‘why’ uncovers their underlying emotions and allows you to truly know them better.” —licensed therapist Lana Lipe, LCSW  

[You can also check out these ice breaker questions for work.]

4. What’s something you’re super into these days?

“Asking open-ended questions about the other person’s interests or experiences invites them to share something they care about, making them feel appreciated and recognized. This approach encourages meaningful conversation and helps create a positive and engaging interaction.” —psychotherapist Prerna Menon, LCSW

5. What’s been the highlight of your week? 

“To move past surface-level small talk and begin to build relationships, ask questions that do not simply have a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. This shows you’re genuinely interested in learning about the other person, and it allows the conversation to progress naturally based on the response. These types of questions encourage the person to share more, leaving you feeling less awkward because you don’t need to scramble for the next thing to talk about right away.” —Lana Lipe, LCSW

6. I like your _____. Where’d you get it? 

“If you struggle with social anxiety, complimenting someone can be an effective conversation starter because it demonstrates interest and appreciation, which helps establish a positive connection. Additionally, receiving a genuine compliment can boost the other person’s confidence and encourage them to reciprocate, which makes for a more comfortable and balanced conversation.” —psychotherapist Marin Lebowitz, LMSW 

7. Where did you grow up?

“If you show curiosity about other people and engage on your terms by posing thoughtful questions (like about someone’s background), the anxiety that you feel in social situations will come down about five or six rungs on the ladder because the focus is on the other person, instead of you. While inside you might be dying of embarrassment, being assertive in conversations can help interactions move organically, as opposed to a more passive approach of waiting for someone to talk to you first.” —psychotherapist John Tsilimparis, MFT

8. What brings you joy lately?

“This is a great way to build rapport because people typically enjoy discussing things they love and appreciate. It also empowers you with a sense of control over the topic of conversation and can be comforting if you prefer when others do most of the talking.” —licensed social worker Pia Hargrove, LMSW

9. How do you usually unwind after a stressful day?

“Asking questions rooted in how someone feels while actively listening to why they feel that way can make both conversation participants feel more comfortable. For this question in particular, try introducing it with your own anecdote like, ‘So I’ve been trying to find a better way to unwind at the end of the day instead of just staring at my wall or TV until bedtime.’ This approach not only provides context for the question but also invites the other person to share their experiences and suggestions, creating room for both parties to feel seen.” —licensed mental health counselor Hallie Kritsas, LMHC

10. What are your highest hopes or deepest fears?

“While not everyone is going to want to answer this question as it is deeper than other small talk you will find out there, it does create conversation because of the potential jarringness of it. If people are open to talking about spirituality, this question is a great way to gain insight into someone’s core values and beliefs.” —psychotherapist John Tsilimparis, MFT

11. I feel awkward. You?

“It can be really useful to address the obvious. Saying something like, ‘I feel awkward. I haven’t left the house in two weeks. How are you feeling?’ is a great way to break the ice when you are uncomfortable. We all hate silence. It’s intolerable for us for some reason. So saying something like that can really help in those situations. You could even make a joke about it as a way to lighten the mood and help people come together.” —licensed clinical psychologist Jaime Zuckerman, PsyD

Quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post 11 Conversation Starters That Will Instantly Cure Any Social Awkwardness appeared first on Wondermind.

Stories Link Copied 03.11.24

6 Things People Learned From Family Therapy

It’s not as finger-pointy as it sounds. ByIsabel Mata

When things between you and your family just aren’t clicking, it can be tough to mend those bonds. And let’s face it, resorting to screaming matches, the silent treatment, or just “letting it go” doesn’t usually make the holidays (or, hell, Tuesdays) any more manageable. Thankfully, family therapy exists. And let me tell you, it’s not as scary and finger-pointy as it sounds. 

Family therapy is exactly what it sounds like: It’s a therapist-guided vent session with your relative(s). The goal is to provide a space (with an outsider’s expert perspective) to address issues that cause confusion, pain, or disruption in the group dynamic, says licensed counselor Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, LCPC. That can come in clutch when families face unexpected challenges or significant change, like moving, divorce, or loss. 

For my sister and I, family therapy was a safe space to share how our childhood impacted us. Although we grew up in the same household and are relatively close in age, our parents’ divorce impacted us very differently. While I acted out, desperately seeking attention, my sister retreated, isolating herself from the chaos around us. We never learned how to properly communicate. Instead, we yelled, fought, and blamed each other. 

Working with a counselor helped us realize families aren’t destined to be dysfunctional based on some past drama. We could repair our bond—just like with any other relationship—and see our connection as a partnership that needed some TLC. Our sit-downs—two hour-long sessions per month for six months—focused on revisiting past experiences and holding a constructive dialogue where we felt heard and validated. Now, my sister and I call each other weekly, which is a big freaking deal for us. And when we hang up, we feel fulfilled and satisfied with our relationship. 

If you’re seriously considering family therapy but are still intimidated, it can help to hear from brave souls who took the plunge. So, let’s dive into a few personal stories and lessons learned from the experience.

1. It can help you actually hear each other.

When you’re in a fight with someone in your fam, you might resort to your worst behavior (no judgment). What’s helpful about having a therapist is that they can serve as a referee and call you both out when you’re communicating terribly. Kelsey C., 24, says that when she went to therapy with her dad and two brothers, being on neutral ground helped them vent without others becoming defensive. “The experience was really great because it provided a safe environment for me to share ways my dad made me feel bad or experiences that had a huge effect on me growing up.” When people aren’t on guard, they’re more likely to listen and comprehend what you’re saying. And that’s what happened for Kelsey. “Turns out, there were so many moments that he didn’t even realize affected me,” she adds. 

Once everyone said their piece, Kelsey says her dad apologized and showed remorse for everything that happened within the first session. They still have a ways to go before the relationship is fully mended, she admits, but therapy definitely kickstarted the journey in the healthiest way possible. “Without therapy, we would have a harder time listening to each other and moving forward.”

2. You can ditch expired family roles. 

If you have siblings, you might know what it feels like to be stuck playing the role of the pampered baby, low-maintenance (aka oft-ignored) middle child, or reliable eldest, for example. And if you’ve tried to burst out of those claustrophobic and growth-stifling boxes, it can be frustrating when your family doesn’t get the memo and treats you like your kid self.

When I went to therapy with my older sister, I brought up how it seemed like she still saw me as a child, a troublemaking girl who cried wolf and was just generally a lot. It bothered me so much and made me feel like I couldn’t evolve as a person. But, thanks to therapy, I was able to talk through how I’ve changed and she could do the same. It helped us form new perspectives on each other. Now, maybe for the first time, I feel like she actually treats me like an adult. We both felt major relief. 

3. It can teach you how to deal with conflict. 

Even when you know how much someone means to you, it’s challenging to overcome past hurts. For Sara K., 32, family therapy helped her and her mom repair their rocky relationship after Sarah’s dad passed away. “I desperately wanted to connect with my mom in case I, God forbid, lost her too,” Sara says. 

At first, they couldn’t get through a single session without fighting. But their therapist taught them some communication skills they could use in and out of therapy. “Before therapy, we would go in circles fighting, never really listening to each other. Now, we know how to take a step back, use our ‘I’ statements, and listen more effectively.” 

If she hadn’t asked her mom to give therapy a shot or committed to doing the work, Sara is confident they wouldn’t have learned to effectively communicate when things get heated. 

4. You can find common ground. 

If you haven’t heard, determining your values is basically the key to happiness and healthy connections. While you might know what’s most important to you (boldness! optimism! knowledge!), it’s not as easy to pinpoint other people’s wants and needs. One of my favorite things about family therapy was writing down all my personal values and comparing them to my sister’s. Afterward, our therapist had us pick a few qualities to define the ideal core of our relationship. We settled on authenticity, openness, honesty, and respect. Now, we constantly ask ourselves if we’re representing those values whenever we interact. If the answer is no, we look for different ways to communicate. 

5. You might better understand their struggles.

Even if you’ve spent tons of time with your family, you probably don’t know everything that’s going on in their world. That’s typically fine (like, who needs to know every detail about their sibling’s dating life?). Sometimes, though, elephants in the room can make you unsure of how to interact with or help your crew. 

After I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, my sister wanted to go to therapy with me to learn more about the condition and understand how she can support me. I’m so grateful she took that step because I finally had a safe space to tell her all the ways the diagnosis impacted my relationships. For example, when we were kids, she thought I acted out to get attention. Really, I had a fear of abandonment that pushed me to latch onto others. 

Through therapy, she understood my experience and ditched the preconceived notions that kept us from truly bonding. Ultimately, it helped us let go of any resentment and move forward from a place of respect and compassion. 

6. It can help you process shared trauma. 

Dealing with traumatic experiences can be an unfortunate part of life. For Morgan H., 35, and her little sister, they’ll never forget the terrifying moment in 2016 when someone screamed “shooter” in the John F. Kennedy airport as they were headed off on their first girls’ trip together. 

Morgan froze amid the chaos and ended up beneath a pile of travelers as her sister tried to pull her out. “In that moment, our dynamic changed; she was no longer the little sister who relied on me,” Morgan recalls. Needless to say, they weren’t in the vacation mood after hours of stress and an apparent near-death experience. They canceled their trip, headed home, and Morgan worried about incoming trauma. Because while the incident turned out to be a false alarm, the psychological impact of it felt instantly real. 

Therapy can be a great way to deal with scary shit, and it can be especially healing to go with the person who survived an incident with you. Knowing that, Morgan suggested she and her sister speak with her therapist together. “We needed someone to help us make sense of it all; to help us deal with the shared PTSD that I suspected would follow in the days and years to come,” she says. 

Through family therapy, Morgan realized that while she prided herself on being the protective big sister, they’d have to take turns being strong for each other. Since that turning point, they’ve seen each other as equals, as ride-or-dies or no matter what. It’s no longer about who’s younger or older; it’s about who needs the support and who will be there to pick the other one up, which has made their bond stronger, Morgan says.

The post 6 Things People Learned From Family Therapy appeared first on Wondermind.

Stories Link Copied 02.22.24

13 Relationship Green Flags to Look Out For

Because searching for endless red can be kinda exhausting. ByIsabel Mata

It seems like a lot of the dating discourse these days focuses on spotting signs a relationship is doomed. Always bringing up their ex? Red flag. Talking over you constantly? Red flag. Constantly looking for red flags? Another red flag. 

But what about the indicators that someone is actually emotionally available and ready for a relationship—with you, specifically? Spotting these positive signs is just as crucial, if not more, says clinical psychologist Miriam Kirmayer, PhD. “If we really want to be intentional about finding and building healthy close relationships, we need to take the time to introspect, to check in with ourselves and realize the kinds of actions, gestures, and experiences [with this person] that make us feel seen, supported, and appreciated.” 

Noticing all the good things in a relationship, aka the green flags, is especially important. “Our brains are wired to pay attention to potential threats. And so it sometimes takes extra work to also notice these green flags in action,” Dr. Kirmayer explains. That could be especially true if you’ve encountered shitty people in the past or are prone to the ick. In that case, your noggin could be on an even higher alert, trying to protect you. But making time to look for the positive can give us confidence in a new relationship and help us appreciate the person and our connection to them. “This form of gratitude strengthens feelings of closeness,” she adds. 

In the wild world of relationships, it can feel like everyone’s got their own playbook. But here are a few therapist- and real people-backed green flags that say, “Hey this might really be something special.” 

1. You feel good when you’re around them. 

“The body has a hard time lying to us. Being around someone who creates psychological safety feels completely different from being with someone who triggers anxiety or overwhelm. I encourage people to pay attention to how their body reacts in the company of others. Ask yourself, ‘What does it feel like when I’m with this person?’ Does your body feel relaxed and calm in their presence? Do you feel like you could express yourself authentically without being judged? Asking, ‘Do I truly feel secure in this relationship?’ is like a simple litmus test for psychological safety.”  —licensed psychologist Jenny Wang, PhD

2. Talking about their friends, family, and exes isn’t a rude gossip fest. 

“Listen to how they talk about their friends, family, and exes. If it’s highly critical and negative, then you can expect that they’ll soon be talking about you in the same way. A green flag would be when they are able to see the good in others, talk with gratitude about the relationship they shared, and tell you about them in a way that shows they know them while respecting their boundaries and not disclosing private information. Hearing them talk about someone they’re close to [or were close to] gives you a glimpse of what they really think, as opposed to how they act in their presence. Again, you can expect those same rules would soon be applied to you.” —licensed clinical psychologist Ryan Howes, PhD

3. They make you feel emotionally safe. 

“During the first year of our relationship, I cried all the time. But not in a bad way! I grew up incredibly emotionally repressed. Once I met my partner and felt so safe with him, the littlest things would open the floodgates. It was like 28 years worth of tears were all coming out at once. And he stayed with me every step of the way. Feeling that physical and emotional safety with another human showed me an entirely new way of living: thriving instead of just surviving.” —Jenna R., 30

4. Comments, questions, and concerns are met with understanding. 

“​​In the pursuit of truly reciprocal relationships, I look for a partner’s ability to receive feedback. Without this receptiveness, conflict becomes ineffective, missing its purpose of deepening connections and mutual understanding in a relationship. If a partner is unreceptive to feedback, clashes may devolve into a game of deflection, where the focus shifts from addressing issues to assigning blame. Therefore, when addressing concerns with a partner, a key indicator is their non-defensive approach and a genuine desire to understand more. In a healthy dynamic, ego takes a backseat, allowing for constructive criticism without triggering defensiveness. This openness creates an environment where individuals can navigate conflicts productively, fostering a deeper understanding and connection in the relationship.” —licensed psychologist Jenny Wang, PhD

5. They listen rather than trying to fix everything. 

“My boyfriend always calms me down when I want to talk about something that is heavy by matching my energy with curiosity. When he does this, it makes me feel calm enough to express my concern because he isn’t freaking out. Instead, he asks thoughtful questions to understand how I am feeling without fixing or making it better. That makes me feel as though I can truly bring anything to his attention, even if it might be upsetting to talk about.” —Isa W., 23

6. Their friends stick around. 

“If someone you are dating has good friends and has been friends with them for a long time, that is most likely a sign that they can ride the highs and lows of relationships and can communicate with the people who are important to them. It’s not necessarily a red flag if they don’t have those kinds of friends; there’s lots of reasons why they might not. But if they do, it can almost be like an endorsement that this is someone who is not going to run away the second things get a little bumpy.” —licensed marriage and family therapist Alo Johnston, LMFT

7. Your self-love doesn’t threaten them. 

“In a relationship, a partner’s commitment to practicing self-care is the ultimate green flag. When my partner loves himself so fiercely, it’s like having an example of how he wants to experience love. Surprisingly, it turns into this beautiful reciprocity—as he finds ways to fall deeply in love with himself, it becomes a celebration, not a threat, when he witnesses me doing the same. It’s a shared journey of self-discovery and self-love, creating an environment where both individuals thrive.” —Chidinma I., 36

8. They ask how you want to be helped.  

“When there’s a mismatch in the type of support provided and what is needed or asked for, it can lead to conflict, not to mention further heartache. Asking a partner how they want to be cared for is an often appreciated gesture that really elevates the experience of support.” —clinical psychologist Miriam Kirmayer, PhD

9. They don’t just go along with whatever you think. 

“While we all like to be right, it can be a green flag when a partner disagrees with us and presents an opposing opinion without burning a bridge. A ‘yes-person’ could be fun for a while, but eventually, that gets old, and you’ll begin to wonder if they have any independent thoughts. How they deliver the ‘no’ is a skill that, if done well, is a green flag. Do they listen, understand your viewpoint, and then present their own with kindness and respect (as opposed to defensiveness and hostility)? This could be a sign that they have a strong sense of themselves that is not overly concerned with pleasing people and can deliver [their thoughts] in a healthy way.” —licensed clinical psychologist Ryan Howes, PhD

10. They don’t assume the worst. 

“A relationship green flag is when someone approaches an unfamiliar situation with genuine curiosity. For instance, asking, ‘Why didn’t they text me back all day? Is everything alright?’ shows they avoid jumping to conclusions or assuming malicious intent. Similarly, if you happen to show up with low energy, a positive sign is when your partner wants to know what’s going on in your life. The key is seeing if they show a genuine interest, seeking details to better understand your actions and responses. Of course, it’s crucial for this concern to be a two-way street in a healthy relationship.” —licensed marriage and family therapist Alo Johnston, LMFT

11. They look out for you even when you’re not on the best terms. 

“I believe I am currently in the healthiest relationship I have ever been in because my boyfriend will always consider my needs when making a decision, even if it doesn’t directly impact me. Even when we are fighting, he finds ways to show me love. For example, if we are outside having an argument, one of us will offer the other our jacket or scarf to keep warm. We talk through every struggle because we mutually agree that we actually want to find a solution.” —Towers S., 25

12. They reflect and take accountability. 

“The ability to bounce back after experiencing friction is a major green flag in a healthy relationship. It’s important to be able to say, ‘OK I messed up,’ and then genuinely want to do better. We can’t move forward unless we are able to process what went down. It’s like having a partner who’s willing to ride out the emotional rollercoaster with you and then, when things calm down, circle back to talk it out. My therapist had this awesome saying: Never waste a good conflict. She meant that those tough moments are turning points in a relationship. If we don’t just brush them off but instead dig in, understand what happened, and figure out how to improve, it’s like relationship gold.” —licensed psychologist Jenny Wang, PhD

13. It feels easy. 

“I’ve been with my partner basically my entire adult life (honestly, not a brag). And the thing that I appreciate most about our relationship is that it feels so…chill. Sometimes we’ll have a dumb fight, but 90% of the time we’re just having fun together. It doesn’t feel like work, there’s not much drama to freak out about (except Bravo TV drama), and we just have a good time together. What I’m trying to say is that, in my experience, it’s OK if your relationship is boring. It might even be a good thing.” —Ashley O., 33

Quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post 13 Relationship Green Flags to Look Out For appeared first on Wondermind.

Stories Link Copied 09.07.23

6 Healthy Ways to Cope With Suicidal Ideation, From People Who Get It

“So many times it can feel like you're the only one going through this…” ByIsabel Mata

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Praise be: We’re finally in an era where mental health conversations are becoming more common. But there are still way too many topics that are clouded in stigma and not talked about enough. Suicidal ideation is one of them. (For anyone who’s not up on therapist lingo, that encompasses a range of thoughts and behaviors relating to wanting to die.) A 2023 meta-analysis found that less than half of people who experienced suicidal ideation disclosed these thoughts to someone else. This means there are so many people out there wondering how to stop suicidal thoughts who don’t know where to turn for help. 

Unfortunately, conversations around suicide tend to happen only after someone has passed away, so there’s less talk about learning how to manage and survive suicidal ideation, notes therapist and suicidologist Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW, author of Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: What Family, Friends, and Partners Can Say and Do. 

As someone who struggles with passive suicidal ideation, I know firsthand what it is like to be struck by thoughts about not wanting to be alive. BTW: passive suicidal ideation refers to having these thoughts occasionally but not having a plan or motivation to act on them—as opposed to active suicidal ideation. But that doesn’t mean these thoughts are any less serious or worthy of help. Living with this can be scary and isolating. And yet, whenever I try to talk about it, more often than not, people step back in worry and fear. 

While there might not be a one-size-fits-all fix for suicidal thoughts, there are a variety of tools and skills that can make living with this a bit easier. Many of them come down to reaching out for help and opening up about your experiences so that you can feel less alone, a mood that is super common among people with suicidal ideation, says therapist and suicide expert Camila Pulgar, PhD, LMCHC. If you struggle with suicidal thoughts and could use a little guidance and perspective, here’s how six people who have been there have pushed through.

1.  I thought about my family. 

“I experienced two major depressive episodes, and with both of them, I had passive suicidal ideation. The thoughts were constant, and I couldn’t stop them. I was living one day at a time, with some days feeling better than others and just hoping that it would get better. Finally, with the help of my therapist, my psychiatrist, and my family, these suicidal thoughts eventually got better. 

Since then, I made a promise to never try to hurt myself and that I would tell my husband if I was feeling extremely down so he could take me to the hospital. When I was at my lowest and darkest, what kept me going was knowing I have my husband, kids, and mom, who are so supportive and understanding. I don’t ever want to leave them, and that is what keeps me going.” —Sarah*, 31

2.  I called a hotline.

“I have struggled with suicidal ideation my whole life. The only time it ever got really bad, when I felt like I couldn’t push the thoughts away, was after a bad breakup. I was so down and was scared of what I would do. I didn’t actually want to kill myself, but I truly didn’t know what else to do to pull me out of those scary thoughts.

Because I didn’t have many close friends at the time, I called the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline that everyone talks about. A kind man picked up the phone and asked me questions about my life. It was vulnerable and scary, and I was worried I was going to be shamed and judged. Instead, he just talked to me like a friend. He promised to stay on the line until I felt better, and he did. It was the first time I ever sought out help, and I thank God every day that I did.” —Izzy C., 27

3. I imagined my younger self. 

“I have two kids under 3, and the last pregnancy was especially hard on me. I was living in so much fear and was having panic attacks constantly. After an especially bad night when my baby was only 10 days old, I began to have suicidal thoughts and was brought to the hospital. It was then that I realized I couldn’t keep letting my depression and anxiety rule my life. Growing up, I saw my mom become a shell of herself due to mental illness, and I decided I cannot and will not allow that to become the norm for my girls. What really helped me get through that difficult time was thinking of my inner child and how she deserves the chance to keep living and be the mother she didn’t get to have and to experience beautiful things. 

It’s been almost a year since that hospital stay, and I’m still trying to show that little girl that she is safe and she has the ability to make choices and leave situations that feel unsafe or sad. I have pulled myself out of some dark situations by remembering how much more I have to live for. As a mom, I’m doing all of that for myself and my girls too.” —Leila W., 27

4. I found people who understood. 

“I was struggling with my mental health for a long time. I had panic attacks every day for a year, sometimes two or three times a day. At that point, it was really starting to get to me. It was exhausting mentally, physically, and emotionally. Eventually, I started to think, Why is this happening to me? Am I a bad person? Is God punishing me? What did I do wrong? There were some days when I thought about how if I wasn’t on earth anymore, I probably wouldn’t be in pain or suffering. There were a lot of times when I felt like I wasn’t in control of my life, rather I was living for someone or something else, like my anxiety or OCD. 

When the suicidal ideation got especially bad, one thing that helped me was writing down how my family might feel if I actually followed through on it. I imagined the life they would be living, how sad and upset my sister would be, or even my parents arguing because of the grief. I saw the loss of color from their life and it made me realize I would never wish that on anybody. 

Besides that, what really helped me was group therapy. I was hesitant to do it because the idea of telling strangers my deepest fears and secrets was SCARY. But after the first session, it felt so refreshing to hear how others go through similar situations as you. So many times it can feel like you’re the only one going through this, and hearing other people’s stories and making friends who know what you’re going through feels amazing. It saved my life and continues to save my life every day.” —Jason*, 25

5. I did at least one thing to show myself love. 

“My struggle with depression started in college and, at the time, I didn’t have the healthiest coping skills. When things would get bad and thoughts of suicide entered my mind, I would use alcohol and drugs to push the thoughts away, to try to mask the shame and brokenness that I was feeling in those moments. 

But as I got older and started therapy, my therapist taught me to be gentle with myself and to sit and observe my thoughts without judgment before redirecting my attention to self-care. This was especially hard for me in the beginning of my mental health journey, but with practice, it became easier. 

Through therapy, I learned to focus on doing things that bring me joy and fulfillment when I’m experiencing suicidal thoughts, even if that thing is doing nothing. Some days I will journal, play music, or just do random tasks throughout the house. On other days, I give myself permission to just lay on the couch and watch funny videos. When I started to spiral during my most recent struggle, I immediately took a shower and did some grooming. I don’t pressure myself to do anything except just be, and so far it has kept me going, even when I didn’t think I could.” —Richard M., 30

6. I learned to manage intrusive thoughts. 

“While I’ve experienced some form of suicidal ideation for decades, it wasn’t until my mid-20s that the intrusive voice in my head became more vocal and active. After a particularly challenging bout of suicidal thoughts—thoughts I unfortunately tried to act on (without success, thank goodness)—I found myself in a psych ward. In there, I was forced, blessedly, to learn new coping skills, including dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). 

There are so many things that have helped me, like having a brilliant support system that allows me to share these thoughts openly and honestly. I’ve also found a lot of DBT exercises to be incredibly useful when faced with intrusive thoughts and moments of crisis. From physically taking a step back to placing my face in a bowl of cold water, interrupting that train of thought with a physical action can be so, so helpful and important.” —Genevive W., 30

*Name has been changed. 

Quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post 6 Healthy Ways to Cope With Suicidal Ideation, From People Who Get It appeared first on Wondermind.