Highly Recommend Link Copied 11.21.23

12 Products That Make Traveling Way Less Stressful

Friendlier skies, right this way. ByJessica Schiffer

Visiting new places? So fun! But actually getting to them? Eh, not so much. Between the hours spent in security lines, stuck in wildly uncomfortable seats, and eating flavorless yet freakishly expensive food, traveling can be a pretty dreadful experience. Add in the initial stress of packing and trip planning and you might just want to hide in your home watching Parts Unknown forever. But, hear us out, the right travel products can make a huge difference. 

To help make your upcoming journeys a little less stressful, we rounded up 12 travel products that will make getting from point A to point B a little easier.

The post 12 Products That Make Traveling Way Less Stressful appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 11.15.23

7 Ways to Make Traveling Less of a Nightmare 

Or? maybe? even? fun? ByAshley Oerman

Who doesn’t love piling into a car/plane/train/bus with tons of chatty humans, settling in for a day of traffic, delays, and motion sickness, and capping it all off with things like jet lag and lost baggage? The best! There’s also the mental preparation for the chaos of holiday travel (or basically any travel) that sparks things other than joy. The anxiety about what to pack or being late or the possibility of TSA publicly humiliating you while they scream, “Laptops out!” is enough to make anyone crave therapy or a sedative or both.

Even if everything somehow goes right, the nature of travel itself can be exhausting, says clinical psychologist Jenny Wang, PhD. “When we travel, going long distances into new time zones or just new environments is stressful, and that can take a toll on you,” Dr. Wang explains. “When it’s physically uncomfortable, that adds to your stress,” she says. 

So how can we make whatever way we’re getting from point A to B a much less overwhelming experience? Here, we explain how you can feel like your calmest, comfiest (maybe even happiest?) traveling self. 

1. Go early.

If you haven’t booked your trip yet, consider building extra hours or even days into your travel schedule to ease into the trip, suggests Dr. Wang. A lot of the time, we work up until the very last second (PTO rationing is real), which means your work drama butts right up against travel drama. That doesn’t leave much room for you to catch your breath—a thing anyone who’s tried to make an after-work flight understands completely. 

Instead of doing that, maybe take the day before your trip off so you can dedicate eight full hours to packing or getting hyped about wherever you’re going. You could also start your trip a day early so you have time to put your toothbrush in its designated place, unpack, or pass out in your hotel room that first night (or all of the above). Those settling-in activities work as little grounding moments that can help combat stress, overwhelm, and anxiety to come. That’s PTO well-spent.

2. Set some expectations.

There’s a reason The Amazing Race is still on TV: Traveling with other people is dramatic. Whether you’ve been hitting the road with someone for years or are about to commute long-distance with a new friend, there’s a solid chance you have different styles of getting places and dealing with (literal) roadblocks. 

This is where communication basically solves everything. Before your trip (the earlier the better), connect with whoever dared to join you about how you like to do this whole thing, suggests psychotherapist John Tsilimparis, MFT. 

Be clear and detailed as you chat through things like: 

• When you want to leave home
• How much money you want to spend (while traveling and on the trip itself)
• How much of the trip you want to be relaxing vs active
• How much you like to talk while traveling 
• If you plan to sleep en route
• If you want to stop at a specific spot in the airport or on the highway
• How you’d handle a delay or any other unexpected issue 

By sharing where your head is at and asking your travel companion where theirs is, you’ll know what you’re in for, avoid any potential awkwardness, and mentally prepare to do you (and they can do the same). 

3. Tackle your sleep stress.

If you struggle to rest up the night before your travel day, first consider why that is. If it’s just always been this way before a big event, mixing up your schedule leading up to that pre-travel slumber can help, says Tsilimparis. That’s because changing your routine can sometimes alter your thinking patterns, he says. Instead of spending the night before the trip checking and rechecking your packing list, maybe go out for dinner or put on a movie you’ve been wanting to watch. By confusing yourself, you might trick your brain into relaxing. 

If that stresses you out even more (I get it), perhaps the reason you can’t sleep is because you’re worried you’ll miss your alarm and ruin the whole trip before it starts. Ask yourself if you’ve ever missed an alarm before a trip and messed up everything. Chances are, you haven’t and it’s probably pretty unlikely that you would suddenly do that now, explains Tsilimparis. When that’s not enough, setting multiple alarms and taking a little something to help you sleep might be the move. 

4. Assume the worst.

One of the most annoying things about traveling is that so much is out of your control. So if you accept that it’s not going to be great from the start, you might have a better time, says Dr. Wang. “As someone who travels with kids, this has really expanded my tolerance for anything bad that might happen,” she explains. That’s because, when you expect that this could really suck, you’re letting yourself get comfortable with the uncomfortable, she adds. Then, instead of dwelling on the fact that the traffic is trash or your seatmate is a chatterbox, you can focus on trying to make the best of whatever you’re dealing with. 

5. Reframe this as something you GET to do, rather than something you HAVE to do. 

As you gear up to enter the shitshow that is post-2020 travel, remind yourself that you have the time off and funds to go on this trip, even if the process of getting there isn’t the most peaceful. In other words, you get to do this. Holding those two ideas at once makes the bad stuff seem like not such a big deal while also enabling you to find the good in this experience, explains Dr. Wang. 

Not to be all, “throw some money at this situation,” but romanticizing your travel experience can help too. Dress like you’re taking the PJ to the south of France, buy that overpriced coffee, use that flight delay to justify $25 airport nachos. Whatever you need to make this mixed bag feel like a privilege is fair game. 

6. Get weird.

If you have travel anxiety, the pressure to act normal despite feeling incredibly uncomfortable can be intense, says therapist Alo Johnston, LMFT. But, most of the time, no one is paying attention to us. And even if they were, there’s nothing wrong with doing whatever you need to feel comfortable when you’re in the thick of a travel day. “If you sit down on the floor, put on an eye mask, and do deep breathing exercises in the airport, most likely no one will even notice or care at all,” explains Johnston. Maybe that little routine is exactly what you need to make the rest of your trip or the next 20 minutes bearable, and that’s worth it. 

7. Just go ahead and assume you’ll have a panic attack.

“A lot of times people start to feel panicked and they think, Having a panic attack while traveling is the worst thing that could happen right now. Don’t have a panic attack, don’t have a panic attack, don’t have a panic attack. Which usually causes more anxiety and can actually lead to a panic attack,” explains Johnston. The solution: Be open to the idea that, yep, you could definitely have a panic attack during this travel adventure. 

Then, make a plan for how you’d manage it if it happened, says Johnston. That could look like having your anxiety meds handy (read: not in a checked bag), using an app to do a guided meditation or breathing exercise, turning on a specific playlist, closing your eyes, taking off a layer of clothing, having some cold water handy, anything that helps you feel more grounded, says Johnston. And if it does happen, “Saying to yourself, ‘I think I’m having a panic attack’ and reminding yourself that it’s temporary and survivable can reduce the power it holds over you,” he adds. You got this, baby! 

The post 7 Ways to Make Traveling Less of a Nightmare  appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 07.25.23

Post-Vacation Depression Is a Thing—Here’s What Can Help

Welcome home? BySam Brodsky

Back in 2018, I went to Aruba in the middle of winter with my ~now-fiancé~ Chris. I got some sun, read a book, and spent much-needed cuddle time with my then-long-distance boyfriend. When I got back home to New Jersey, it hit me. This sinking, sad feeling of re-entering reality after vacation. I thought, Has this place always been freaking horrible?!  Chris felt the same. He texted, “I just need to get through this period of depression real quick.” If you’ve ever felt similar post-vacay blues—post-vacation depression, if you will—you know how hard it is to shake.

Because vacation can serve as a nice escape from work stress, relationship problems, or just disgusting weather, coming back to that naturally sucks, says licensed psychologist Monica Johnson, PsyD. 

Honestly, even if your life is pretty good, heading home after a stress-free and/or exciting trip can feel sort of like getting out of a hot tub, Dr. Johnson says. Everything seems cold and blah in comparison. Your place was cozy and great before you left, but now that you’re back, you’re suddenly aware you do not live in a resort surrounded by palm trees and the ocean. Those kinds of thoughts can impact your mood for the worse.

If you’ve got the coming-home-after-vacay blahs, there are a few things you can do right away to take the edge off. But if you’re concerned about just how sad you are or it feels like you can’t shake it for weeks (or both), definitely reach out to a mental health professional, says Dr. Johnson. They can help you figure out what’s going on, including if you might be dealing with clinical depression, she says. 

But back to the stuff that might make life a little better right now. Below, we’ve got some easy ways to manage sad feels that pop up post vacation so you can stop spiraling over the letters P, T, and O.

Do a quick lil values audit. 

It can feel extremely hard to get excited about going back to reality, but focusing on things you find important (those would be your values) can ultimately make you happier, says Dr. Johnson. ICYMI, your values can be something really broad like friendship or more specific like quality time with friends. It can also be a trait or a feeling like authenticity or generosity. (If you’re at a loss, check out this printable worksheet that lists values for you to reflect on.)

So, when you’re feeling shitty about not living in a five-star resort—which, same—make a list of the things that are most important to you. Then, think about how you can work more of them into your life, Dr. Johnson says. 

Maybe one of those things is work-life balance, so you start setting a hard stop at 5 p.m. If it’s having enough money to go on more vacations (love this for you!), think about asking for a raise or picking up a side hustle. 

Whatever you set out to do, don’t get discouraged. It can take time to start feeling fulfilled by aligning with your values, Dr. Johnson adds.   

Pencil in things that bring you ~joy~.

This might sound like a no-brainer, but another way to make your post-vacation slump less slump-like is to look forward to something, says Dr. Johnson. “The vacation generated all of these rewarding, positive feelings, so it’s: How do I replicate some of that in a way that I can access on a consistent basis?” she says. This could be anything: A date night with yourself, a deep-tissue massage, a Harry Potter  movie marathon…whatever screams joy to you.

If those activities are with other humans, that can help lift you up too, says Dr. Johnson. Cushion the blow of being back from vacay with a series of hangouts with your BFF, your chosen family, an acquaintance who always makes you laugh, even your pet who can’t talk but still gives you all the warm and fuzzy feelings, she says.  

Put your vacay into perspective.

Reminiscing is a normal thing, but romanticizing how great those times were becomes a problem when your life feels like it’ll never be as good as it was on that epic trip, Dr. Johnson says. That idea can make you feel pretty hopeless because humans need to believe that there’s something to work toward in order to be happy, she explains. 

That’s when reminding yourself that even though this vacation was wonderful, it probably wasn’t as perfect as you’re convincing yourself it was—and it’s not the last chance you’ll ever have to make cool memories. 

If you catch yourself wallowing, keep things real by thinking about the not-so-great times or the parts of travel you kinda hate. Things like spending lots of money, fighting over who forgot the museum tickets, and flight delays were likely part of that reality too. 

Plan for more consistent breaks when you can.

If you’re always living with a grind-culture mentality or saving all of your PTO for one big trip, the post-vacation blues can hit you hard. Obviously not everyone has a chunk of time and money to take vacations, but scheduling a few smaller trips or time off from your usual routine can prevent burnout and give you something to look forward to, says Dr. Johnson. It can also make the post-vacation period way less mentally dramatic. 

Even if it’s a long weekend or staycations, block off a bunch of these breaks every year, Dr. Johnson suggests. If you’re the type of person who can take off on your birthday, do it, do it, do it! Hell, take one half-day every month if that’s more manageable for you. “There’s no such thing as a break that’s too small,” she notes. 

Make self-care a normal part of your life.

Another way to avoid intense emotional turmoil after a vacation is to make sure that you’re replenishing yourself and finding time to feel good on the regular, says Dr. Johnson. If you’re only taking care of yourself during scheduled time off, coming home is bound to make you feel really bummed.

Whether you’re trying to recover from post-vacay depression right now or hoping to avoid it in the future, getting into a routine that works mental fitness into your day or week or month can help. Are you getting enough rest? Are you remembering to drink water between cold brews? Are you moving your body however/whenever you can? Are you actually relaxing? Working these tiny moments into your life can have major benefits that last long after that trip hits your grid.

The post Post-Vacation Depression Is a Thing—Here’s What Can Help appeared first on Wondermind.

Explainer Link Copied 03.17.23

Traveling While Plus-Size Can Be Emotionally Draining. Here’s My Advice

IDK who needs to hear this, but you deserve to see the world too. ByStephanie Yeboah

Anyone who’s taken a plane, bus, or just a long road trip knows the process of getting from one place to another is like entering a unique circle of hell. And when you’re a plus-size person who loves to travel, like me, you might even brace yourself for, like, five extra levels of misery. 

My love for seeing the world began as a teenager. For me, that extreme form of escapism was a coping mechanism of sorts to ditch bullying, depression, low self-confidence, and the everyday struggles of living in a body that seemed outside the norm (people stare way too much, lemme just tell you). I wanted to escape to other countries to meet new people, learn about their standards of beauty, and try to reinvent myself and develop confidence. All of which I definitely did.

But, even two decades later, it still doesn’t come without a struggle. Though I’ve had once-in-a-lifetime experiences all over the world as a content creator, I’m reminded of my size no matter where I go. I’ve had to sit uncomfortably upright for hours, thanks to increasingly small seats. I’ve been heckled. I’ve been photographed and gawked at by locals.

It’s not that my size is actually a problem (fatphobia is, TYVM) or that I don’t love my body, but the way I’m made to feel for what I look like honestly does hurt. If I’m not prepared, it can be an emotionally draining experience that ruins a whole trip.

In addition to the fact that our fatphobic society tells us that we deserve these stressors because we don’t lose weight, traveling as a plus-size person can spark major anxiety, fear, embarrassment, and sadness—and you’re not crazy if you dread it. 

There is a vulnerability in choosing to show up in the world in the way you truly want, but you have to remember that you deserve to see the world, visit family, and take work trips without feeling less than. All bodies should be allowed to take up space and enjoy themselves. I mean, we are not saving up for months just to feel miserable! We deserve joy, rest, fun, and confidence too. With that in mind here are the best ways to enjoy your time away from home based on everything I’ve learned.

1. Do the things you’d normally avoid.

Because many plus-size people are scrutinized and mocked fairly often, it’s only natural that going to an unfamiliar place can heighten our fear of encountering more of that harassment. But embracing time outside of your comfort zone might make your trip a more enriching experience—and maybe even boost how you feel in your body.  

I’d be lying if I said the thought of wearing a two-piece never scared the absolute daylights out of me, but I’ve always wanted to wear one with confidence. During one of my first tropical getaways, I decided to ditch all the negative associations I had with my body and commit to being OK with feeling uncomfortable in an effort to build up my self-esteem. I bought a teeny triangular string bikini and walked around my villa in it. Seeing my body adorned in something people with smaller bodies typically wear without the same critiques helped me achieve a level of confidence I had never experienced before. Plus, being far from home actually made it a little bit easier—I’d never have to see those strangers ever again! 

2. Remember it’s OK if travel looks different for you.

You might’ve come across people who have very strong opinions on the best ways to venture out. Take carry-on-only culture pushers, for example. Sure, living out of a tiny suitcase is cute in theory, but it isn’t very realistic for people who can’t hoist their baggage in the air or whose clothes take up more space. So, if you need to check a bag and pack some extra clothes in your carry-on (a fail-safe for lost luggage in locations with limited shopping options), you’re not an anti-minimalist monster! Trust me.

Also, if you need to split trips into shorter flights or train times because you can’t fit into those tiny AF bathrooms onboard, don’t let anyone tell you that purposefully booking multiple stops is a wild idea. It’s way more important to have access to an accessible stall in a terminal than to attempt to hold it mid-voyage. 

It’s easier said than done, but try not to be too hard on yourself if your trips don’t line up with whatever non-inclusive wanderlust content you’ve consumed over the years—you have nothing to feel ashamed or weird about. 

3. Make flexibility a priority. 

There’s nothing more annoying than planning your itinerary only to find out that there may be certain weight restrictions or activities that limit your ability to participate—or just your ability to have a good time. 

I once had to miss a ride on the gorgeous Bali swings because of the weight limits they had, which was incredibly annoying and could’ve been embarrassing if I had shown up and been turned away in front of people. 

Whether you’re journeying solo or in a group, create backup plans if you suspect you might run into an accessibility issue (or set aside time to look into that before you book an experience). If you’re with a crew that really wants to do an activity that you’ll have to sit out, see if you can find something else to do that you couldn’t otherwise fit into the itinerary. Then, you can go enjoy some precious alone time instead of focusing on the FOMO, shame, or embarrassment you might otherwise end up feeling. 

4. Check your seats. 

One of the more harrowing aspects of traveling as a plus-size person is, of course, the seat sizes. Even if you’re not plus-size, you’ve probably witnessed or heard of the dehumanizing ways some people talk about sitting next to someone who is bigger or might need a seatbelt extender on a flight. Unfortunately, if you don’t have the luxury of buying a first class ticket or extra seats, you’ll want to do some research about the most size-inclusive airlines before you book a trip. 

When I was younger and a lot less experienced, I would book the cheapest flight on the cheapest airline and that would be that—or so I thought. About six hours into a very uncomfortable 18-hour economy flight to Bali, I was on the brink of tears because of the huge seat width differences between airlines. Now, you cannot catch me spontaneously booking with a company that I haven’t already vetted (thank you, SeatGuru), and this has done wonders to curb my stress levels on departure day. 

The same tip goes for booking tables at restaurants you’ve never been to before. If you need a chair without armrests or a table instead of a claustrophobic booth, call ahead or make a note of your needs when making reservations. 

5. Manage seat awkwardness with self-compassion. 

Even if you do a ton of research on seats, things happen. You might find yourself in the dreaded situation of noticing your limbs begin to touch the limbs of the other passengers seated next to you. That awkward feeling penetrates deeply, and you might stiffen or try to shrink your body or even apologize on your body’s behalf in response.

Blaming and shaming your body for (just the possibility of) making other people feel uncomfortable happens. But this only contributes to the cycle of self-hate, shame, and fear that society’s fatphobic views already inflict on us. While you could apologize to your seat neighbor about the lack of space (Airlines! Why are you like this?!), you never need to apologize for being bigger. Your body is not an error to be fixed.

6. Dust off your trusty coping skills.

While flying to Prague in 2015, I tried to discreetly ask a flight attendant for a seatbelt extender, only for them to shout across the cabin, “DO WE HAVE ANY EXTENDED SEAT BELTS FOR A LARGE PASSENGER??” The entirety of the cabin’s passengers turned toward me, and it was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. From then on, I vowed to buy and take my own extended seat belts on flights with me to avoid anything like that ever happening again. 

And while that can be an easy fix, I’m not suggesting that you buy your own extender out of fear of humiliation. We shouldn’t have to. I wish more people understood that, as plus-size adventurers, we’re already in an emotionally vulnerable position. We can feel othered or become the target of someone’s ire or ignorance at any moment. 

I’ve found the best way to navigate the moments when people refuse to see me as a human with feelings is by reaching out to people I trust. Whether they’re family and friends or people in the travel community, shooting them a text or DM for some advice or reassurance really helps. 

And if I can’t reach anyone at the time, I put on a mindfulness podcast to center myself and relieve some stress. Another solid stress reliever: Let all your feelings out in your Notes app then delete it to help you let go.  

7. Stand up for yourself in whatever way feels safe. 

Last year, while on my way back to the U.K. from Greece, I had to remove my jacket to walk through the body scan machine. That alone can be stressful for globetrotters who are insecure about certain body parts. At the time, I only had a spaghetti strap camisole underneath, and after passing through, I noticed three security guards looking at the stretch marks on my arms and laughing. I’ve come to love and embrace my stretch marks, but the experience was still humiliating and made me feel othered. 

As much as I wanted to say something, I decided getting into an argument with airport security wasn’t going to protect my peace. Instead, I immediately documented the experience and emailed a complaint to the airport. A rep later sent me an apology, and I felt empowered and proud that I advocated for myself even though I knew there was a chance I wouldn’t be taken seriously. 

You’re bound to come face-to-face with people who don’t think the same way or have never seen anyone quite like you. That’s the beauty of visiting other cultures—and also one of the scariest bits. When you’re faced with people who don’t treat you like a human being, it can be hard to navigate those situations, especially if you’re venturing solo or there’s a language barrier (or! both!). This is all to say that it’s OK if you don’t feel comfortable standing up for yourself in the moment or at all—just try not to internalize whatever crap just happened.

The post Traveling While Plus-Size Can Be Emotionally Draining. Here’s My Advice appeared first on Wondermind.

Essay Link Copied 11.30.22

What Travel Is Like for Me as an Autistic Person

I hate to say it, but planning ahead really does work. ByElspeth Wilson

Whether it’s a day trip by bus or a flight abroad, the idea of going somewhere different—no matter the distance—excites me like nothing else. Part of that is probably because I’m autistic, which is another way to say that my brain works differently from the so-called neurotypical majority, especially when it comes to social interactions, communication, sensory processing, and behavioral differences. 

For me, my neurodivergence means I crave newness and get a lot of positive stimulation from being in new places, surrounded by new sights, smells, and the sounds of people speaking in other languages. But traveling as an autistic person isn’t all pure joy. Actually, having autism can make travel particularly daunting—especially when everyone else is traveling too.

Sure, I crave sensory stimulation, but autism and air travel take it way overboard (same for train stations, BTW). No lie: Sometimes when the reality of having to face an airport sets in, I get extremely sick and anxious and debate canceling. Other times, the journey itself can sometimes send “abort mission!” warnings through my mind.

That’s often because the bright lights, endless lines, soundscapes (if you can call it that), unexpected delays, and disruptions are too much—it’s like an information and sensory overload. And the lack of understanding from airport personnel and airlines never helps either. 

Even for neurotypical people, I highly doubt any of these things are pleasant to put up with, but as someone with heightened sensory sensitivity, traveling makes me feel like my brain is taking in too much information at once, tanking my ability to complete basic tasks and sometimes even pushing me into a meltdown. If you have autism, this probably sounds familiar since up to 90% of autistic people experience sensory differences, according to a 2022 review of 25 studies on autism.

How I make air travel easier as an autistic person. 

Airports or any departure station can feel like everything that’s inaccessible and unfriendly comes together in one building and conspires to trigger you. So! Fun! 

And even though the travel industry—and society in general—have a long way to go to become more accessible to neurodivergent people (the load for change shouldn’t be on us!), putting extra effort into my pre-travel routine does help me manage being out of my comfort zone enough to enjoy some casual people-watching while I wait to arrive at my destination. These hacks even give me headspace to be excited so that, when I arrive, I can truly start to have some fun. 

Here’s everything I do to navigate this (sometimes hellish) experience.

Reframe how you think about travel. 

As an autistic person, I know that being flexible can be hard, but accepting that travel will almost never go exactly as planned makes it much easier for me to handle all the chaos. Remembering that we travelers have little control over how the day shakes out actually helps me feel more in control over my mental health throughout the day. 

Catch some Zs.

I’m a late riser, so early morning flights mean my routine—something that’s very important for helping some autistic people like me—can get disrupted and my travel days become more difficult from the get-go. If I don’t get enough sleep beforehand, I can be even more sensitive to noise and other disturbances. 

Take extra steps to be more comfortable. 

Some of my worst travel days happened when I wasn’t as prepared as I could’ve been. Of course, autism is different for everyone, so what works for me might not work for other autistic people, but it’s worth thinking about what usually takes you to your happy (or just content and comfortable) place. 

To combat any potential sensory issues, the first thing I do is plan my travel outfit in advance. I make sure I’m sporting something that has max comfort—hard pants are not in my vocab on travel day—and easily removable layers to adjust to over-air-conditioned or really stuffy planes and trains. 

Sometimes I know when something feels wrong in my body, but I can’t always identify exactly what it is or how to fix it. So I make a conscious effort to be mindful of my temperature by making a note to myself or setting a reminder on my phone to check in with how I’m feeling physically. Otherwise, I find it hard to figure out why I’m uncomfortable or how to fix it if I’m freezing or too toasty (which can make me grumpy). 

To reduce all that overstimulation when I’m en route, I break out my headphones so I can listen to an airplane mode-friendly white noise app or my go-to soothing playlist. Don’t forget: If your headphones block out important announcements, like gate changes, make sure you look up that info on your phone and/or sign up for prompt notifications. This can be super helpful if you struggle with auditory processing too. 

And if wearing paparazzi-proof sunglasses or carrying a fidget spinner makes you feel better, do it! 

Grab some snacks. 

As a neurodivergent person, it’s easy for me to forget about basic needs like eating and drinking water while traveling—kinda like those temperature challenges.

Different eating behaviors, like being put off from food because of its texture, color, or even the brand name, are also common with autism, according to that 2022 review of studies. And because I know I can be choosy about my food (and I’ve never responded well to a setback when I was hangry or thirsty), I bring vegan faves from home. Plus, I do my best to plan mealtimes in advance and set timers for when I should be eating and drinking.

Lean on your travel buds.

If I’m traveling with friends or family, I share the things that I find difficult. Like, I tell them that I can’t chat as we board because I need to put on my headphones to feel safe. When my travel crew gets what I’m dealing with, then I feel less alone and supported if I need help. 

That’s always felt like enough for me, but if you need more or other types of support, some airports and train stations do offer accommodations for autistic people, like familiarization videos and booklets that show you around the space and talk you through the travel process and available assistance. Some also have lanyards you can wear so that the staff knows you have an invisible disability and might need some extra help or understanding. 

Show yourself compassion. 

A huge part of why I sometimes feel sick and anxious before traveling is because I can get down on myself for having these struggles. Instead of forcing yourself to deal with all the stress that comes with traveling, try to accept that you might need certain adjustments and that it’s OK and that you’re doing your best as a neurodivergent person traveling through a neurotypical world.

The post What Travel Is Like for Me as an Autistic Person appeared first on Wondermind.

Essay Link Copied 11.21.22

How to Deal With Panic Attacks While Traveling (From Someone Who Knows)

Because 'just calm down' is wildly unhelpful. ByJeni Driscoll

My husband and I had just boarded a flight heading to the so-pretty-it-hurts island of Maui. I was super excited for a tropical paradise, but my heart started racing as soon as we settled into our seats. For the next five hours, I was jittery and sweaty and felt stuck in the metal capsule zooming us over the Pacific Ocean. There was no escape, and the walls of the plane felt like they were closing in on me. I couldn’t catch my breath. 

This was a panic attack. I’ve had them since I was a young girl, and I was diagnosed with panic disorder and agoraphobia in my early thirties. I’ve also had episodes of depersonalization and derealization (DPDR). For those unfamiliar with these incredibly unpleasant symptoms, depersonalization is “feeling disconnected from your internal experiences, such as your thoughts and feelings and how you’re feeling in your body,” explains clinical psychologist Jessica Stern, PhD. As for derealization, “that’s when you feel disconnected from what’s happening around you, like things aren’t real,” she adds. If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you may unfortunately know what we’re talking about. 

As much as I appreciate seeing new places and experiencing different cultures, it’s a huge challenge for me. Travel anxiety, feeling stressed and scared about travel plans and the fear of being out of your comfort zone, can affect anyone, but it’s especially difficult for people who have anxiety and/or panic disorder, like me.  

For me, pre-travel anxiety begins months before an actual trip. Not only is the planning part of the process overwhelming (for…basically anyone), but worrying about how I’ll physically get wherever I’m going can spark anxiety too. Hypotheticals like turbulence, the plane crashing, missing a departure, or being away from familiar people and surroundings can easily send me spiraling.

This pre-travel anxiety gives me conflicting feelings of wanting to go but also wanting to stay put in the comfort of my own home. “When anxiety dictates what’s possible for us, that’s when it starts to grow and takes over more of the decisions we make. It can feel like our world is shrinking when that anxiety is in control,” says clinical psychologist Ben Johnides, PhD. 

Once travel day arrives, I encounter a whole new set of anxiety hurdles, like being stuck in traffic on the way to the airport, waiting in long baggage-drop lines (crossing our fingers the bags don’t weigh too much), and standing in another line to pass security. Plus, there are the crowds, making it nearly impossible for me to chill. 

When we’ve made it to our destination (happy, but exhausted), it’s usually time for another round of travel anxiety. It’s disorienting to be in a new environment, a different time zone, and sometimes a different culture. Enter: the frightening thoughts of DPDR. 

The best way I can describe this is that it feels as if I’m in a fog or dream. When I look at my reflection in the mirror or take a selfie with my daughters, it’s like I’m staring at someone I don’t know, wondering if I’m in the right body. My face feels numb, like a plastic mannequin. My arms and legs are heavy and feel like they don’t belong to me. My voice doesn’t sound like mine, I think to myself. I wiggle my fingers to make sure my brain is connected to my body. Objects look blurry, sounds distorted. I question where I am, as if a glass wall separates me from reality. 

And each location and its beautiful differences have the potential to trigger me, like when I went to Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany, and ended up smooshed between thousands of people, unable to find a pocket of breathing room. These sensations are terrifying enough on a regular day, but being in an unfamiliar place can make the dissociation and anxiety even worse. 

How I manage anxiety and panic attacks while traveling.

Trips with my family are some of my favorite memories, and I refuse to let fear get in the way of me venturing out and experiencing life with them. So here’s what I’ve learned over the years and some tips on managing travel anxiety, courtesy of the experts.

1. Remember why you’re doing this. 

When I’m feeling anxious about travel, I try to manage it by reminding myself that I love spending quality time with my family, seeing the world, and embracing life. Thinking about my why motivates me to travel despite the anxiety and reassures me that I’ll get through a panic attack. And once I do, adventures are waiting for me. 

2. Prep your meds. 

A big worry for me is forgetting my medication or not having enough for the trip. At least one week before traveling, I count out the amount I’ll need, order more if necessary, and organize them in containers so I’m ready to go. 

Some countries can be strict about the types of medications they allow in, but talking to your doctor before you pack can help you figure out what’s legal and what’s not, says Dr. Stern. JFYI, that’s especially important if you’re part of a clinical trial, she adds. 

You’ll also want to plan for how to manage without medication in case you can’t bring anything in or you’re met with a surprise crackdown when you arrive at border control. If you have a therapist, talk to them “about coping strategies, such as grounding, that you can use in the meantime while you are potentially in the absence of that medication,” she suggests. If you don’t have one, consider keeping this handy collection of extra travel anxiety tips bookmarked. 

3. Take note of what freaks you out. 

Before each trip, I go through each of my triggers, like being in an unfamiliar place, the unknown, and my routine being out of whack, and figure out what I’m most concerned about and how to ease my worries. 

It might sound super obvious, but when you feel some anxiety kicking in, take a sec to sit down and identify what’s going on for you, says Dr. Stern. If you notice a pattern of things that make you anxious, you can get ready to encounter those little suckers by telling yourself, “OK, this is something that has happened to me before that often triggers my anxiety, and I know what to do,” she adds. 

When it comes to planning, my family understands how overwhelmed I get, so they take over the spreadsheets and itineraries. I do my best not to feel bad about that and remind myself that it’s better to ask for support whenever possible. 

Still, Googling hotels we’ll stay at, places we’ll visit, and what we’ll eat helps me manage that uncomfortable feeling of being out of my comfort zone because I have an idea of what to expect. 

And when it’s time to leave our house, we leave extra early (I’m talking three-to-four-hours-before-departure early) to avoid any obstacles and extra stress.

4. Notice anxious thoughts and let them go. 

Too much what-iffing can cause unnecessary anxiety. I admit, this is one of my major pitfalls, but I really try to keep it in check. 

So when I start stressing about having a panic attack or my DPDR kicking in, I acknowledge the thoughts and then picture them floating up into puffy clouds and drifting away. Cute, right? I also like to journal about what’s stressing me out, even if I can’t fix it. Chances are, whatever it is I’m nervous about won’t ever happen. If it does, I’ll get through it. I always do. I’m braver than I give myself credit for, and you are too.

5. Let the panic attacks do their thing.

Let’s be real, panic attacks might still happen. And if they do, one of the best ways to get through it is to accept that it’s happening, breathe, and let it run its course, Dr. Johnides says. “The more we try to fight the panic attack and try to get it to go away, we realize we’re not in control of it. So the scarier it becomes, the bigger it becomes, and the longer it can last,” he says. 

During a panic attack, you might take fast, shallow breaths, filling your body with oxygen, Dr. Johnides explains. It sounds like a good thing, but that can make you lightheaded, according to the The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, (DSM-5-TR). So try the 4-7-8 breathing technique: inhale through your nose for four seconds, hold for seven, and exhale through your mouth for eight seconds. 

When I’m feeling panicky, deep breathing helps me get calm. Then I use grounding techniques, like thinking of three things I see, three I can touch, three I hear, three I smell, and three I can taste. Or I’ll repeat an affirmation, like “I am safe” or “I will get through this.” All of that helps me stay in the moment and reminds me that I am real and so is the world around me. “By using grounding techniques, you’re bringing yourself back into the moment and experiencing the anxiety; you’re not avoiding it,” Dr. Johnides says.  

6. Ask for support. 

If you’re around people when you’re having a panic attack, don’t be afraid to ask for help, Dr. Stern encourages. “People have a lot of shame around having a panic attack when in fact, many people have them.”

So, it’s super possible that the person you’re asking for help might’ve experienced this too. They can coach you through some deep breathing or remind you that you’re safe and that you’ll get through it. 

7. Travel more often. 

Consider this your excuse to book that dream vacation: If you’re scared to travel, doing it more often can make it easier over time, Dr. Johnides says.

This was so true in my case. When my daughters were little and my husband and I would go on trips (even short weekend getaways), I’d have so much anxiety that I couldn’t wait to get back home. But with practice and intentionally preparing for each trip, I learned how to keep it in check over the years. 

The bottom line: Traveling can be anxiety- and panic-inducing, but there are ways to make it more manageable. As someone with panic disorder and DPDR, I never thought I could be an adventurous person, leaving my comfort zone to travel with my family. But these tools and support from my family through the years has helped me make amazing memories. 

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