Q&A Link Copied 09.21.23

Taraji P. Henson Wants You to Fight for Yourself

“It's a choice we have to make every day.” BySam Brodsky

We proudly stand with the WGA and SAG-AFTRA. As such, this interview does not focus on the promotion of any particular project.

For actor Taraji P. Henson, mental health advocacy is nothing new. She’s used her platform to talk about her experiences with anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation and has become an influential voice in promoting mental health within the Black community.

Henson founded the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation (BLHF) to help the Black community access culturally competent therapists and programs; spoke to congress about mental health disparities; and launched a Facebook Watch show (Peace of Mind with Taraji) highlighting first-person stories from Black folks dealing with PTSD, grief, ADHD, bullying, and more. (The Why Black Men Don’t Cry  episode with Chance the Rapper is a must watch for sure.)

This fall, Henson’s organization is continuing that community work by teaming up with kate spade new york to bring free access to quiet spaces, yoga, and therapy to Hampton University. This is the second HBCU getting these no-cost services, and Henson tells Wondermind that she hopes to expand her reach to global BIPOC communities where mental health help is stigmatized. “We look to find ways of meeting people where they are, honoring cultural traditions, [and] uncovering healing practices that already exist,” she says.

We caught up with her at kate spade new york’s Global Summit on Women’s Mental Health and Empowerment to chat more about the program coming to Hampton University, how she’s staying present, and what it means to choose herself each day. 

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WM: What do you do for your mental health every day?

Taraji P. Henson: Oof. For my mental health, what I do every day is I breathe. Intentional breathing. When I feel like anxiety is about to overtake me, I just stop, ground myself, and I breathe. Breathing is a great exercise, and we don’t use it enough [laughs]. [I do a lot of] deep breathing, being aware of my breath instead of just breathing. I intentionally [take a] deep inhale and I do a long exhale, and it centers me.

WM: What do you do for yourself when you’re having a bad mental health day aside from deep breathing?

TPH: That’s a day I usually take to myself. If there are meetings I can move around or postpone for another day, I try to do that. I try to give myself the space that I need to work out whatever I may be going through. 

WM: When was the last time you took a mental health day? 

TPH: I would say I did it on my birthday. Someone wanted to take me out and I was like: You know what? I just want to lay in bed. And it wasn’t that I was sad or depressed or anything. That’s just what I wanted to do and I’m glad I did it. 

WM: It’s so cool that, this fall, students at Hampton University are getting things like free therapy and yoga classes thanks to your organization and kate spade new york. What would resources like this have done for you in college?

TPH: I became a mother in my junior year, and I’m just grateful that I had the amazing support of my family, but there were students that didn’t. You know [when] you want to help someone but you don’t quite know how? We weren’t even talking about mental wellness at the time. It wasn’t even a conversation we were having in the community, let alone at school. And I just think about how many of my friends that did not graduate or dropped out for whatever reasons may have stayed if they had a mental wellness [space] to go to. [This space would have been great for] certain students I knew were suffering and [for me on] days when I just didn’t feel like myself. You’re at college, you’re on campus, you’re around students all the time. You have roommates. When you’re far away from your home and everything that you know, when do you really have that moment—where can you go—to really center yourself or to just disconnect, decompress? 

WM: If students walk away with one lesson from this program, what do you hope that lesson is? 

TPH: That it’s OK to take moments in life to take care of yourself. This is not about grinding. Grinding can kill you. It’s not healthy. 

WM: What was it like for you to talk about your own mental health struggles for the first time publicly? 

TPH: It was very scary, but [that’s where] real change happens. Things that you are fearful of, you have it in you to overcome those fears because when you overcome them, you’re helping someone else. So I knew the importance of me speaking out about my struggles because  of who I am. Sometimes people think celebrities, we got it easy because we have money, but money adds to your problems [laughs]. [But] it was easier [talking publicly] because of the support I had from my loved ones. 

WM: You’ve also been super open about going to therapy. What has that journey been like for you? 

TPH: I went once [in my] late 30s. Didn’t really have a real connection because I hadn’t really gotten to the place of understanding where I was in my mental health journey, but then I would say my middle 40s is when I got serious [about therapy].

It’s up and down. It’s like looking for a relationship. I had a therapist and she was really great for that portion of my healing, but now I’m in a different place, so now I’m yet again in search for another therapist. I’m not going to give up on searching for that therapist because I’m never going to give up on me. It’s just like any relationship. You have to cultivate it. You have to work on it. Some therapists work, some don’t. So you just got to keep [going]. You don’t give up on looking for that significant other [laughs]!

WM: What’s the best thing that you’ve learned in therapy so far?

TPH: The one thing that she brought to my attention that I still do [sometimes] but I’ve gotten better at is writing scripts before something happens. I have already written the beginning, the middle, and the end. I’ve written the entire script, and, a lot of times, my script is wrong. But she taught me how to get out of my head and stay grounded in reality of what’s going on and stop living beyond the moment. Staying in the moment. It’s work. It’s still work. I’m always the person trying to get to the other side, [but] you just have to take your time and you have to be patient. 

I’ll write the script in my head [about] a breakup or a relationship without letting it unfold. You know what I mean? So I’m already making up what’s going to happen before it even happens. That’s a lot of work. That adds to my anxiety. Literally, when I feel myself starting to write the script, I go, Put the pen down, breathe. Nothing has happened yet. You have to wait until it unfolds. I’m so busy trying to write the ending. 

You can’t get over it. You can’t go under it. You got to go through it.

WM: What advice do you have for people who are nervous to start therapy for the first time?

TPH: Start online! Do a session in your own house via Zoom that way you’re comfortable. You’re in your own home. No one saw you go into the office. [You don’t have to worry about,]What are they going to say about me?  Try it out at home first.

WM: Your foundation, the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation, is named after your late father. What do you think he would be most proud of that you’ve accomplished in the mental health space so far? 

TPH: I just think the lives that I’m touching and changing, hopefully for the better, and saving. So, yeah, I know he’s proud. 

WM: What do you think he would be most proud of that you’ve accomplished working on your own mental health?

TPH: Talking about it. Being as open as I am about it. I think he would be very proud of that. Because that’s healing.

WM: A lot of people might be hesitant to tell loved ones that they’re struggling. Do you have any advice for them? 

TPH: Sometimes if you can’t put it in words [verbally], write it down or send an email to break the ice. Send a text. Sometimes it’s hard for people to say it, so write it. 

WM: Love that. What’s the best mental health advice, in your opinion, that you’ve ever given someone?

TPH: Fight for yourself. Fight for you. Like I say, most people fight harder for a significant other than they will for themselves. Fight for yourself. 

WM: When was a time that you had to fight for yourself?

TPH: Every day, you know? We have to choose, every day we wake up, what side we’re going to be on today. Am I light or dark? Love or hate? It’s a choice we have to make every day.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post Taraji P. Henson Wants You to Fight for Yourself appeared first on Wondermind.

WM X AVOCADO Link Copied 06.21.23 Powered By

5 Environmental Activists Tell Us How They Keep Calm

“We can't do everything, but what we can do adds up and can inspire others to do the same.” ByColleen Stinchcombe

When the world is on fire (or rife with unexpected weather patterns and climate disasters), it can be hard to stay grounded. And for those on the frontlines of this fight, burnout can be very real. Every environmental activist knows that fighting for the future of the planet requires ongoing, sustained energy, but they deserve a break just like everyone else. 

It’s impossible to pour from an empty cup, so it’s worth reminding yourself and others that showing up for your community requires you to prioritize your own well-being too. Here, we asked five environmental activists how they practice mental fitness and keep calm while actively engaging in creating a better world. 

Responses have been edited for clarity and length.

1. Hopelessness benefits the current system, so I practice three things to stay mentally healthy.

“To feel hopeless still benefits the current system—it leads to no change. Anger is an understandable emotion. The point is to see what type of action it can lead to that is aligned to our values. But it cannot be self-consuming. As Dr. Maya Angelou noted: ‘You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn’t do anything to the object of its displeasure. So use that anger. You write it. You paint it. You dance it. You march it. You vote it. You do everything about it. You talk it. Never stop talking it.’

I try to think of at least three things that can come into play. The first is a practice of meditation that allows your mind to center, to start from a grounding space. For me, it’s morning jogging. The second is ensuring you take time in a restorative space. The best is nature (other than sleep). So walk in the park, sit by a tree, wander by a creek, and the like. Lastly, non-extractive relationships. As people, even introverts, we can benefit from staying connected to a social community space, from not being lonely and isolated—even if we are alone.” —José Gonzalez, Outdoorist Oath co-founder

2. Boundaries, rest, and hope are a big part of being an activist.

“I have to set boundaries around commitments. I pre-plan when my schedule will be packed up versus when I have more ease. I am beginning to understand the urgent yet cyclical nature of the work as an advocate, learning how to find my own flow between activation and rest. Sometimes self-care is venting to a friend, carving out the space to cry and to feel frustration, or investing in support for daily things in life—like cleaning, therapy, workout classes, etc. The investment in a routine and better habits for myself helps me to feel grounded and accountable. I can’t do this work wholly unless I show up for myself too. Unfortunately, it’s not always cut-and-dry—sometimes you just try and mess up and try again. But as long as the intention and systems for accountability are put in place, I think you can keep finding your way back to center. 

[When it comes to climate anxiety,] I enjoy focusing on solutions, connections, and curiosities on how I can do my part to make the world a better place. In an ecosystem of hope, doomism doesn’t thrive as well. The work I do on the Green Jobs Board gives me hope every day. We are a group of young people building a company to help people across the U.S. (and across the world hopefully soon) learn how to build long-term career pathways to protect people and the planet. Our company aims to bridge the gap and provide easily accessible resources, community, and awareness about the ways people can plug in, take action, and build a whole life working on this issue.” —Kristy Drutmna, founding member and facilitator at Outdoorist Oath, founder of Brown Girl Green

3. I come back to my “why.”

“I wish I could say advocating for Earth was always filled with rainbows and butterflies, and while Mother Earth can make some pretty magical things happen, that’s not always the case. This work can feel heavy and so much bigger than yourself at times, which is why reminding myself of my ‘why’ is so important. For me, that means getting outside and spending time in nature. Whether it’s an afternoon walk around my neighborhood, putting my feet in the grass for five minutes, or taking a weekend camping trip—those moments continually fill me back up with purpose and hope.

My favorite reminder of all is: ‘Do what you can, with what you have, wherever you are.’ I say it to myself a lot and often because it’s true—we can’t do everything, but what we can do adds up and can inspire others to do the same. Showing up for ourselves and the planet looks different for everyone, and that’s the beauty of coming together. We each have unique contributions to creating a brighter planet. At the end of the day, I believe the way we treat Earth is a direct reflection of the way we treat ourselves. So I hope we can all be a little kinder and live a little lighter for a brighter future, together.” —Hannah Tizedes, Great Lakes artist and advocate, founder of The Cleanup Club

4. I focus on decolonizing our concept of rest and self-care.

“A critical part of one’s mental health journey is being intentional about how we recalibrate the false connections between productivity and self-worth that capitalists have created. I’ve had my own difficult journey with unlearning that our inherent worth is based on our ability to scale businesses and personas into perpetual growth, rather than see our work, art, and existence as something that is meant to flourish in the ongoing tensions of uncovering reciprocity with those around us. 

This helps keep me grounded in how mainstream narratives around ‘self-care’ forget that much of our personal care is deeply rooted in community care—and that capitalism has pushed us into corners where we feel accomplishment must be sought alone. I often see our capacity to grow as communities harmed as we’re caught between the realities of capitalism and how this pushes up against self-worth, so in today’s landscape I believe intentional reclamations of rest that are supported with decolonial learning and community building are key.” —Diandra Marizet Esparza, executive director at Intersectional Environmentalist

5. I find power and resilience in being part of community action.

“My journey with climate anxiety truly transformed for the better once I took the first step to learn more and join a climate group to take action. My wonderful friends and fellow activists fighting for a safe future give me the courage to keep standing up. Hope comes from action, and from being part of the movement. Feeling the power we have collectively and being surrounded by others fighting for the same thing is a feeling which cannot be told or read about; it is something one must experience for themselves. 

A quote I love [from Angela Davis]: ‘You have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world. And you have to do it all the time.’

The future I want to create is also one with joy. Joy is sustainable. And so I make sure to embody this and unite things I love for our planet, such as music and creative arts. Being in nature brings me a feeling of calm. Being present and connecting with nature and embracing the beauty of the world around us. Listening to birdsong, watching birds and noting down what I see, identifying trees, [and] smelling flowers is all part of it.

As a neurodivergent person, it is also crucial for me to understand that I cannot force myself to try and navigate the world like a neurotypical person. My brain is wired different. So, speaking to people, asking for accommodations, knowing my capacity and [the] energy things take, and knowing when to take a break [is important].” —Dominique Palmer, climate justice activist, coordinator for Climate Live

The post 5 Environmental Activists Tell Us How They Keep Calm appeared first on Wondermind.

WM X AVOCADO Link Copied 05.18.23 Powered By

How to Deal With All Your Climate Anxiety

Anyone else feeling sweaty and stressed? ByColleen Stinchcombe

If you’re anything like us, you’ve had some conflicting feelings on these recent unseasonably warm days. On the one hand: Hello, outdoor dining weather and beach days in May. But also: Um, Earth, you good? As temperatures and rates of extreme weather incidents soar, so does our collective climate anxiety. Basically we’re all sweaty and stressed about the planet…especially on days that we didn’t expect to be quite so sweaty. 

While not an official diagnosis, climate anxiety is a term used to describe the sometimes overwhelming feelings of worry, grief, sadness, hopelessness, and other emotions around climate change. And it’s really common: more than two-thirds of U.S. adults say they experience it, according to a survey by The Harris Poll on behalf of the American Psychological Association. 

Climate anxiety can take a lot of forms depending on your situation. You might be a young person who’s freaking out about what the world will look like 50 years from now or you might be directly experiencing climate disasters already. Maybe you’re worried about what this all means for your kids—whether you’re already a parent or contemplating becoming one. It’s a lot. 

For some people, climate anxiety can also look like avoiding the topic altogether or mentally checking out, says Laura Carter Robinson, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in Michigan focused on helping adults and college students experiencing climate distress. Relatable? Yes. Helpful? Not so much. 

One of the first steps to dealing with climate anxiety is acknowledging that the fears are there and that it’s valid to be concerned. Those feelings are not in themselves an issue. In fact, they’re a beautiful thing, Dr. Carter Robinson says. “They speak to how much you care about the planet,” she says. 

That said, if your feelings about our increasingly chaotic climate are causing you distress, despair, or to disengage, there are some ways to process these big emotions and work through them. Here’s what you can do with all that eco-anxiety. 

Let yourself feel multiple feelings. 

When it comes to moments of dissonance—like the simultaneous joy and trepidation you feel when it’s 90 degrees in New York City…in May—practice embracing the both/and or in-betweens of emotions. “Part of living a full human experience is saying things are never totally good and they’re never totally bad,” says Amanda Feaver, LPC, a climate-aware psychotherapist in Oregon. Sporting short sleeves and taking a walk in the park doesn’t demonstrate a lack of care for the environment; neither will feeling grateful for a warm day. “It’s OK to enjoy the sun and it’s also OK to be really sad about ecological shifts and climate change,” she says. 

Practice calming your nervous system, especially when you’re out in nature. 

Climate change is happening, but we have to find ways to not despair. “We’re not going to get out of this in our lifetime, and so learning how to mitigate that distress is going to be really helpful for us to be resilient throughout our lifespan,” Feaver says. 

Breathwork and meditation practices can be great stress-relievers, but if those don’t appeal to you, you can start by just spending more mindful time in nature. “Being out in the natural world with other beings is incredibly calming. There’s a lot of research that suggests things like gardening or walking in forests or walking along the water really calms the system down,” Feaver says. Even sitting in your own backyard or front porch or touching some nearby grass can help.

A more intentional mindfulness activity in nature might help, too, like taking time to look closely at a particular tree or flower, says Dr. Carter Robinson. “Don’t think of it as a flower or tree, but notice the colors. Notice the shapes that you see. Notice the shadows, notice the lines, notice the textures, and just let yourself go into that space,” she says. 

If being outside triggers your feelings of grief or anxiety around climate change, try starting smaller to ease back in, Dr. Carter Robinson says. That might be as simple as visualizing nature or spending less time outside to start. But if you’re really struggling to find any peace in nature due to climate anxiety, that’s a good reason to speak with a mental health professional if you can. 

Connect with people who understand your concerns. 

A lot of people feel like they’re alone in their worries about climate change. But a recent study by the Yale Program on Climate Change Communications found that 64% of Americans are at least “somewhat worried” about climate change, and over half feel “disgusted” or “sad.” 

It can be incredibly isolating to feel like you’re alone in your fears, so connecting with people who get your eco-anxiety can be a great way to feel validated and supported. “Whether that’s friends or families, youth climate groups, either online or in person, climate cafes—there are lots of ways to find other people who are like you,” says Dr. Carter Robinson. “When we connect with other people, we’re less anxious and less lonely.” 

Of course, there’s a fine line between validating each other’s concerns and ruminating over them, so if you find yourself getting more anxious when you connect with others over climate concerns, that might be a sign to take a break or find a more action-oriented group. 

Set some healthy limits on your news consumption. 

Checking out of climate change can be a sign of not dealing with it, but that doesn’t mean you need to subject yourself to an endless feed of doom and gloom. In fact, 56% of people listed media coverage of extreme climate events as a top cause of their eco-anxiety, according to a survey by OnePoll on behalf of Avocado. 

“We have to protect ourselves from some of the vicarious trauma that we experience from being exposed to that,” Dr. Carter Robinson says. That doesn’t mean ignoring developments in climate change—but setting limits is important. “It’s preserving your own ability to function and, in turn, that preserves your ability to care,” she says.

A few simple things you can try, courtesy of Dr. Carter Robinson: Limit yourself to one trusted news source rather than multiple feeds, increase the number of solutions-focused climate sources you read, and monitor how you feel when you’re reading. If a particular source tends to send your stress levels soaring, consider removing it from your lineup.

Pick one small action to take.

There are a million things that can be done to help the planet, but no one person can do all of them. In fact, trying to do too many things at once can be paralyzing. “Don’t try to overhaul your whole life. Most of us don’t have the stamina for that,” Feaver says. Instead, “pick one thing to start with that you can fall in love with,” she says. Maybe that’s working toward eliminating single-use plastics in your home, or volunteering at a community garden, or working with an organization to protect your local waterways. 

Change your focus to the future you want to see.

Anxiety can keep us stuck in imagining worst-case scenarios. That’s hard on us, and it’s no good for the planet either, Dr. Carter Robinson says. “Climate change is real and it’s frightening and we need to act quickly,” she says. But panicking only makes it harder to focus on solutions.  

She encourages people to shift their focus. Instead of keeping a mental list of everything that’s gone wrong with climate change, she asks people to envision the future they want to live in. “Use that instead of fear as your motivation,” she says. Then, find small but meaningful ways to work toward creating that future. 

The post How to Deal With All Your Climate Anxiety appeared first on Wondermind.

Q&A Link Copied 09.14.22

Troian Bellisario Knows She Deserves More

“If I'm not the example, then my daughters won't learn to give that to themselves…now there's something on the line.” ByShannon Barbour

Not long after the Supreme Court pushed abortion rights back into the 20th century, Doula star and activist Troian Bellisario checked in with Wondermind to share how she’s really feeling amid “this shit show of a time.” Here, the Pretty Little Liars OG got real about the mental impacts of trying to make a difference, being kind to yourself, and what her kids have taught her about mental fitness. 

[This interview originally appeared in a July 2022 edition of the Wondermind Newsletter. Sign up here to never miss these candid conversations.] 

WM: How are you doing lately?

Troian Bellisario: I am doing pretty well under the circumstances. There’s so much going on. My husband and I are just getting over COVID, and my youngest kid currently has it. So we’re still in lockdown, and that’s really difficult. We’ve been doing a really amazing job of taking care of each other and of taking care of the kids, but I think as any parent remembers during the height of lockdown, it’s really tough. And it’s really tough on your mental health.

To be honest, politically, this is a shit show of a time. It’s terrifying, and that has a really big effect on my mental health because it just feels like we’re at the bottom of a mountain that we have to climb up—and I’m not even a woman that is in any imminent danger. Just thinking about the countless American people whose lives are now in danger in a totally new way—and we are only at the beginning of this fight—is overwhelming. I’ll say that.

WM: How do you stay hopeful, motivated, and channel your frustrations into action?

TB: It’s a constant ebbing and flowing. I constantly find myself in an apathetic depression. I feel like I can’t affect enough change. I feel like when I desperately care about something and I try to fight for it out in the world or, you know, support people, I constantly feel like my efforts are falling short. I think the only way to actually deal with that is to accept those moments of frustration and then to take a breath and remind myself that I am actually incredibly privileged.

That’s total privilege. And so what that actually does is it reconnects my mind to go, Wow, if I’m in a position where I can actually like take a break for 20 minutes or an hour to not think about it, that means that I should just be redoubling my efforts to continue and join. Because it means that I’m in a position of power and privilege to be able to affect change. It’s like a balance between gratitude and constantly trying to reality check myself about where I am and who I am in the world.

WM: When you take those 20 minutes or an hour to let yourself feel those feelings and give yourself a break, what helps you reset?

TB: Honestly, baking. And since I have young kids, crafting. Don’t overlook coloring! Don’t sleep on coloring, everybody. It’s a cheap, great hobby. Meditation is a really big one for me, and that goes back to not trying to push away the feelings of frustration or depression or anger or whatever’s coming up for you, but really just accepting them and taking a few minutes to sit with them and be like, Oh, wow, that’s where I am, because you can’t wish feelings away. You have to actually integrate them and understand that you’re feeling them in order to ever hope to feel something else.

WM: What’s something surprising your kids have taught you about mental health?

TB: They’re teaching me a lot about boundaries and a lot about limits. I’ve always operated as if the limit does not exist [laughs], and I will just push myself and push myself and push myself until I have nothing left to give and my body collapses or [I] get sick. With kids, you can’t do that. I’ve come up against my bottom and realized that I can’t push myself because it’s not safe for them. I can’t only devote myself to serving and caring for them because if the bottom drops out on me, that’s an unsafe environment for them.

WM: What advice for setting boundaries do you try to practice?

TB: Baby steps. I’m always doing baby steps…I’m terrible at setting boundaries. I am a 36-year-old woman that is very much still at the intro level course of setting boundaries, and I need to constantly be working on it. When I fall back and I’m like, Oh man, I did not set that boundary with that person, and I’m letting them walk all over me, I’m giving myself the grace of being like, Hey, but you’re noticing. That’s a step, you know? Maybe next time we can actually hold to the boundary that you intend instead of just silently resenting that they don’t intuit my boundaries and then respect them.

WM: What’s something you’ve been meditating on lately?

TB: I’m always searching for how to be more in the present moment. One of the things that is so interesting to me is my absolute ease with [extending] kindness and grace to the people that I love in my life—but not in any way, shape, or form reciprocating that for me. Like, how I will think of somebody else or what I will do for somebody else, and then when it comes to, Would you do that for Troian? And I’m just like, Oh no, no, no, no way. Like, You don’t deserve that. And so really trying to figure out how to change that, how to give myself things that I so readily give to other people, or allowances I give to other people. If I’m not the example, then my daughters won’t learn to give that to themselves…now there’s something on the line. So I need to figure that out. That’s constantly what I’m working with in terms of mental health is just like, how do I be kinder to myself? Why isn’t this working? [Laughs] Why can’t I learn this lesson?

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post Troian Bellisario Knows She Deserves More appeared first on Wondermind.