Pro Tips Link Copied 10.20.23

5 Ways to Check Your Imposter Syndrome

You’re the real deal, and it’s time to act like it. ByJennifer Nguyen

Picture this: You’ve navigated the hallowed halls of academia, tackling internships and midterms like nobody’s business, and you proudly earned that coveted degree. Finally, you land your dream job, the one you’ve been chasing for probably four or more grueling years. On paper, you’re the real deal. But between scenes of you doing the damn thing, you’re also bombarded with humbling (and insecurity-heavy) thoughts like, But was that really all me? Was finishing that project really that impressive? You might even debate knocking yourself down a couple pegs on your annual review, rating yourself as “meets expectations.” And before you know it, you’re questioning whether or not you’re even cut out for your job—despite all the evidence. Sound familiar? That’s imposter syndrome talking.

Imposter syndrome (or, as the experts call it, “imposter phenomenon”) might not be a clinical term, but the self-doubt and feeling-like-a-fraud-no-matter-your-qualifications struggle is real. And with #impostersyndrome racking up millions of views on TikTok, it’s clear a lot of us can relate. Despite its seemingly widespread occurrence, imposter syndrome doesn’t fit into a neat, one-size-fits-all box and can manifest as mildly annoying intrusive thoughts or entirely shape your self-worth, says psychologist Lisa Orbe-Austin, PhD, author of Own Your Greatness. 

Feeling this way about yourself can also take a physical toll when it’s wrapped up in the pursuit of perfection, says Dr. Orbe-Austin. For example, maybe you’re giving yourself headaches by over-preparing for work projects and teetering on the edge of burnout. 

It seems like the fix for imposter syndrome would be to “just believe in yourself,” but if it were that simple, you wouldn’t be here right now. If you’re dealing with the constant chatter of imposter phenomenon, here are some expert-backed ways to keep those thoughts in check (it should get easier as you practice). 

1. Get to the root of your imposter syndrome.  

Unpacking where your self-doubt stems from and what your triggers are can help you develop a game plan for dealing with it. 

Imposter syndrome can be complex and trace back to childhood experiences and family dynamics, explains Dr. Orbe-Austin. When you’re a kid, you start shaping your worldview and sense of self based on societal and family expectations, which can later shape how you act in adulthood. Say your dad showed his love through phrases like, “Nice job, kiddo.” Today, you might seek confirmation that you’re on the right path through verbal praise. And that’s not a bad thing! But if words of affirmation are how you dictate your success, imposter phenomenon may flare up in environments that don’t give you a clear pat on the back, Dr. Orbe-Austin explains. Think of working remotely with bosses or colleagues who might signal that you’re killing it by shooting your Slack message a thumbs up. You may dismiss it—or even think you’re not doing enough—since it doesn’t match what reinforcement looked like in your childhood.

The solution? While you can’t change someone’s way of affirming you’re doing alright, you can learn to praise yourself, says licensed clinical psychologist Alexandra Gold, PhD. When you catch yourself downplaying what you’ve done, take a step back, think objectively about the situation, separate fact from catastrophic thoughts, and jot down your strengths and what feelings you notice in a journal, she suggests. When you pause to check in with yourself, it makes it easier to see the situation for what it is and have a record of how great you’re doing or what changes you’d like to make instead of worrying about what other people think of you. Plus, when you do this, you have a record of all your gold stars so you can advocate for yourself down the line. 

2. Remember it’s not just you—it’s a systemic issue.

When you belong to a marginalized group, you might face messages that you don’t measure up. You might also get the sense that you were “given” certain roles based on you having a disability or your gender, race, or ethnicity, which can make your imposter syndrome even more difficult to deal with, Dr. Orbe-Austin explains. 

If you’ve ever experienced this double whammy, it’s important to understand that these social dynamics, biases, and outdated institutions thrive on making you feel less than. Like, you probably won’t ask for the promotion you deserve if you think you’re only at a company because you check a certain box. When you can detach from the offensive narrative that the only thing you bring to the table is being a token, you can start to notice all the other amazing qualities and skills you have to offer (being an Excel master, always joining Zooms on time, meeting all deadlines, etc., etc.), Dr. Orbe-Austin says. 

3. Challenge negative thoughts. 

So you stumbled over your words during a crucial presentation on a topic you spent weeks researching. It’s natural if your first thoughts post-incident were, I don’t sound like I’m cut out for this job. But challenging these harsh criticisms are crucial for curbing imposter phenomenon, says licensed psychologist Jenny Wang, PhD. We can choose between allowing those hypercritical thoughts to mess with our confidence or reminding ourselves that one mistake doesn’t determine our worth or ability, Dr. Wang states.

To flip the script, try replacing those emotional thoughts with takes that are grounded in reality, Dr. Wang suggests. For example, instead of thinking, I’m so stupid for making a mistake, remind yourself that messing up is part of growth and learning. So your new thought might be: I fumbled a chunk of this presentation, but my public speaking has improved so much since I started this job, and I still got my points across in the end. Or you might think, I tripped over my words because I was nervous in this room of strangers, not because I don’t know enough about the subject.

If your mind is racing and keeping you from shifting your thought process, Dr. Wang suggests pairing this process with calming techniques, like a brief meditation session or grounding exercise (try naming something you can touch, see, hear, taste, and smell), to get you in the self-compassion zone. 

4. Aim for “good enough.” 

If you’re the type whose imposter syndrome is tied to perfectionism and needing to be the absolute best or risk feeling like a failure, you’ll want to make “meh, this is good” your new motto, Dr. Orbe-Austin says. And that means not comparing yourself to others, which is a recipe for overwork, burnout, and not embracing what makes you unique, she adds. 

So step back from hate-scrolling LinkedIn, where your former classmates keep posting how “delighted” they are to start new roles. Instead, compare your progress to where you were a year ago—nobody’s path is the same and it’s important to acknowledge your growth individually. If you don’t notice much progress, can you at least celebrate how you survived another year in your position and haven’t been placed on a performance plan? That’s good enough! 

5. Reach out for support. 

Dealing with imposter syndrome is largely an internal journey, but talking to people about your feelings to get an objective POV can help too. When you share what’s going on in your mind, it gives others a chance to potentially relate to your story and help you process and question your thoughts, which can help you curb any loneliness or feeling like you’re weird or losing it, Dr. Gold says. So next time you’re working on a class project and get upset because you allegedly don’t have what it takes to pass, ask a trusted peer to check your progress. You might find they can offer some encouragement and ease that pain.

The post 5 Ways to Check Your Imposter Syndrome appeared first on Wondermind.

Q&A Link Copied 10.19.23

How Aparna Nancherla Deals With Anxiety, Depression, and Imposter Syndrome

The comedian and author sits down for a mental health check-in. ByShannon Barbour

With endless writing and acting credits, it’s basically a crime that comedian Aparna Nancherla has to deal with imposter syndrome (aka the feeling that you’re faking it or are underqualified). But, as per usual, the way she writes about the pesky phenomenon and her mental health journey in her new book is extremely entertaining and relatable.

In Unreliable Narrator, Me Myself, and Imposter Syndrome, Nancherla “wrestles with how self-doubt has influenced my life and impacted my journey with several things, whether that be mental illness or body image or my relationship to my career,” she tells Wondermind. And she doesn’t shy away from unpacking her upbringing as an introverted and immigrant kid who didn’t always fit in. “I think there were several things that were making me feel separate from other people. And then I think that going into an industry that also sometimes doesn’t know how to make sense of you if you don’t fit a certain mold has maybe made those voices louder,” she adds. 

Here, Nancherla sits down for a mental health check-in and shares how she deals with imposter syndrome, anxiety, and depression. 

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WM: What’s the inspiration behind your new book? 

Aparna Nancherla: I think I wrote it because I was in a period where I was struggling more with self-doubt, and it had kind of come after checking off a lot of things I had done: taping a standup special or acting on a show as a regular character. I think I had assumed getting to certain career milestones would fix things or leave me at a place where I felt more secure and established. 

It kind of felt like the opposite happened. It brought up more self-doubt and more feelings of: Do I even fit in here? Why am I allowed to be here? That unexpected turn led to wanting to explore more. Where does that come from? Why are those feelings getting louder? 

WM: Is there anything that helps you keep imposter syndrome in check when it creeps up?

AN: From a young age, I’ve always tried to gauge how I was doing by looking at the person next to me or the people around me. Like, OK, they seem to be fitting in better, so they’re doing this. Only in the past few years have I started to really try to focus more on what I want and what I am doing in this situation and [understand] maybe that’s fine and really stop looking at another person’s paper and just focus on my own. [It] feels like a very small thing … but for me, it’s been kind of revolutionary. 

And just staying the course in terms of what I want and not automatically thinking it’s maybe not the right thing compared to what the person next to me is doing.

WM: Do you mind sharing your experience receiving a depression diagnosis and what helped you reach out for help?

AN: My depression was first named because I had been struggling with restrictive eating and anorexic behavior, and that started early on in college. I think only when I took time off of school to get treatment for that was I in touch with the fact that it was kind of a coping behavior for this underlying depression. So for me, they were both very hand-in-hand in terms of one really opening the door for my mental health journey. 

But also, growing up I had always kind of associated eating disorders and that sort of behavior with whiteness and white women. Thinking it was something that I could struggle with only came to me after the fact. I just figured I was trying to get healthier or trying to fit a certain body image. But getting treatment for that and that being a way to learn about depression really opened my worldview in terms of like, Oh, these are things I’ve been struggling with that I’ve just never had a name for. Before this point, I thought, This is something everyone has been carrying around and just none of us talk about it. So it was really helpful for me, I think, in retrospect.

WM: Is there anything you wish you would’ve known back then that might’ve helped you manage your mental health sooner?

AN: I think just having more open conversations around how you’re feeling would’ve been helpful. I mean, my parents were both immigrants and doctors, and I think there was a little bit of a survival mentality growing up of just fitting into a place and making sure everything looks a certain way and presents a certain way. So I think there wasn’t always room for exploring emotions and how you’re feeling and how you’re doing internally. It feels like maybe the needle is moving on that in terms of the conversation being wider now and what people are able to openly acknowledge about their internal struggles. 

WM: What helps pull you out of a depressive episode?

AN: It varies. I tend to live a lot in my head, so I think getting more into my body really helps, whether that’s going for a walk or exercising. Getting out into nature always helps. Sometimes they don’t even necessarily help in the moment if I’m really in a low place, but it feels like committing to the act of going through the motions will help [to] start moving some of those patterns in a different direction. Meditation, therapy, and meds are also always helpful. Also, just spending time with people I love and trust is a big one. I tend to self-isolate or be like, Nobody wants to deal with me. I’m being such a bummer right now, [but I try to force] myself to do it anyway.

WM: What’s one of the best lessons you’ve learned through therapy?

AN: One thing I learned early on that I think about all the time is … whenever I said I “should” do something, she’s like, “There are no ‘shoulds.’ You could do something or you would, but ‘should’ implies there’s one right way of doing things. And that’s not true. That’s just a construct you’ve created.” If I think I “should” do something, it doesn’t necessarily mean that is the one true answer.

WM: What stigmas or misconceptions about mental health tend to bug you?

AN: It feels like anxiety and depression, which are the main things I struggle with, have almost become overly trendy or something where it’s like everyone’s open about their anxiety and depression. That’s not a bad thing, but it does feel like the experience of what it is has become a little diluted. … It’s hard to pinpoint. I guess I just think that now that the conversation is open, we should still remember that there is no one exact version of what anxiety or depression is. It’s not just this personality thing you can throw on. It is still a very real, hard thing that I think people still have trouble naming certain parts of. Even if we’re openly talking about it on social media, it doesn’t necessarily still capture the full experience of what it is like to have.

WM: And as someone who experiences social anxiety, what are your go-to strategies in social settings?

AN: I still sometimes have a hard time in those scenarios. Sometimes it’s as simple as finding one person and being like, Who do I feel comfortable with here? Let’s start there. Rather than trying to take in the room as a whole and be like, What are you going to do? How you are going to spend the next 90 minutes is really just trying to be present with whatever is happening.

Also a big one for me is being OK with a little silence. If you don’t necessarily have something to say every single second or hit a lull in conversation with another person, that’s OK. They’re probably also a little bit worried about it.

WM: Do you have any advice or words or encouragement for anyone struggling with their mental health right now? 

AN: I would say it’s an ongoing process. I think being patient with yourself is huge and easier said than done. Sometimes the tricky thing for me is knowing what the mental illness [is saying] and what do I actually need. Do I need to cancel my plans because of self-care? Or am I doing it to avoid having to see other people? Be OK with knowing that sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference and it’s OK to not always get it right. Be forgiving of yourself.

WM: Anything else you’d like to add?

AN: These are all things you experience and struggle with over the course of your life. When I was first diagnosed with depression, I was like, OK, I’m going to go to therapy and take meds and then one day this will be all cleaned up. And now I know it’s something I’m just going to deal with for the time that I’m here, and that’s OK. Sometimes it feels like I’m maybe regressing, but it’s all part of it.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post How Aparna Nancherla Deals With Anxiety, Depression, and Imposter Syndrome appeared first on Wondermind.

Q&A Link Copied 04.18.23

JoJo Is Leaving Imposter Syndrome Backstage

It’s "too little too late" for anyone to stop her. ByMarilyn La Jeunesse

Joanna “JoJo” Levesque wears a shimmering rhinestone-encrusted corset that dazzles in the light as she descends over the crowd at the Al Hirschfeld Theater on April 11. A deafening roar erupts from the crowd below as the star makes her debut as Satine in the Broadway rendition of Baz Luhrmann’s Moulin Rouge! The Musical. Months of vocal lessons, dance lessons, and rounds of auditions led up to this very moment. And it’s well worth it for the multi-hyphenate singer and actor. 

Having been in the spotlight since she was 13 years old, JoJo is no stranger to hard work or long days at the office. In fact, with five albums, half a dozen tours, and tons of acting credits to her name, there was perhaps only one challenge left for this theater-kid-turned-international-superstar: Broadway. And that makes her first foray into the world of musical theater even more impressive. It’s the first role she’s won—and likely won’t be the last.

We caught up with the star a few days after her opening night to chat about imposter syndrome, fear, and the best thing she’s ever learned in therapy.

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WM: How did you deal with self-doubt during the auditioning and rehearsal process for Moulin Rouge?

JoJo: I definitely had some imposter syndrome going on because I’m like, these performers that are here on Broadway have been auditioning and dedicating themselves to musical theater for so long, and even though I grew up a musical theater kid, I deviated and went into the pop world and R&B and all these things. So I was like, Do I even belong? Do I deserve to be here? I definitely had those thoughts in my mind.

But when those thoughts came up, I sat with them and then I made a conscious effort to challenge them, and I reminded myself I’ve been working my whole life. Everything that I’ve experienced and all the work I’ve put in has prepared me for this moment, and I’m right where I’m meant to be. So I just challenged those negative thoughts.

But I reminded myself that sometimes when those thoughts come in, it’s because part of you is trying to protect yourself because you don’t want to feel, you don’t want to get hurt, and I just am trying to really throw myself into a new experience and take it for what it is and have fun, because you don’t need to hold everything so tightly.

I’m just trying to find the fun and the flow.

WM: You said you were a little nervous on opening night. What did you do backstage to help assuage that fear?

JL: I meditated, actually. I did a 15-minute meditation, and I focused on non-judgment and on when those thoughts come into my head to thank them and say, “I don’t need you.” I love using the Calm app, and sometimes I’ll do a guided meditation, and that really helps me to focus on my breathing because my anxiety can manifest physically sometimes in my heart racing, thumping in my chest, feeling like there’s a frog in my throat. But I use all the tools that I can possibly use. I get into my body and out of my mind. 

I do think there are so many more benefits to working out than just looking a certain way. That’s secondary, actually, to all the mental and emotional benefits that can come from that. So I had a great workout that day. I walked my dog, made sure she was good, and then came here. And I tried to just believe that all the preparation was enough and I trusted the process.

WM: You’ve been open about therapy and medication as a part of your mental health routine. Would you be open to talking more about your journey with antidepressants and why you made the decision to restart after stopping?

JL: My journey with antidepressants started when I was in my early 20s and I needed some support, and my therapist recommended that, given the situation that I was in and all the different ways in which I felt like I was kind of drowning—whether in my career, in my family life, in my personal life—I just needed a little help. And I’m grateful that I had that resource to lean on at the time.

I personally didn’t feel that I needed to be on something for the rest of my life. I think that what I was going through was more situational, and I think it can be a great resource for people. And I chose to start them again when I had stopped them for a little while, and now it’s been over a year that I have not been on them, and I know that that’s the right choice for me.

In my early 20s, I didn’t have the other coping skills I now have in my early 30s. … I think going that route is what’s appropriate for me now. And I wouldn’t judge myself if I needed to get on them again, but I feel [I’m] in a very strong and balanced place right now.

WM: What’s the best thing that you’ve learned in therapy?

JL: The best thing that I’ve learned in therapy is that I think depression can really set in for a lot of us when we’re abandoning ourselves, when we are not being true to our needs, our desires, our wants.

When we’re trying to be something else for somebody else, that’s when we just fragment and we feel disconnected. And that can lead to anxiety and depression. So I think that recognizing that and then trying to integrate all the parts of myself—including myself from my 20s that I still judge a lot [because] I hurt people and I hurt myself, but it was because I was so deeply hurt. So accepting and integrating all those different sides of yourself and those people that you’ve been through your life, that’s something that I’m learning with my therapist and embracing.

WM: What moment in your mental health journey are you most proud of?

JL: I would say the moment that I’m most proud of is sticking with a decision that I made to honor myself and not go backward, but stay firm, and stay firm in a decision for my future self—not because it feels good in the moment. Because it actually doesn’t feel good in the moment to do something hard. Whether it’s saying goodbye to somebody to make space for something new, it doesn’t always feel good in the moment, but in therapy, reminding yourself of why you’re making a certain decision and reminding yourself of that reason when it gets hard [is important].

Historically, I’ve been the type of person that goes back on her decisions and does what feels good in the moment. Well, what feels good in the moment isn’t always good for the long term.

WM: If you could talk to yourself as a friend, what would you tell yourself right now?

JL: I would tell myself how proud I am of how far I’ve come. Yeah, that’s what I’d say.

The post JoJo Is Leaving Imposter Syndrome Backstage appeared first on Wondermind.

Q&A Link Copied 12.14.22

Rod Thill’s Anxiety Is at an All-Time Low

Your fave corporate millennial is protecting his peace. ByShannon Barbour

If you’ve ever gone down a TikTok rabbit hole of corporate millennials and all their little quirks (being afraid of their boss, adding way too many exclamation points to emails, playing Disney Channel bops at their 9-to-5 just to feel something again, etc., etc.), you’ve probably felt way too seen by Rod Thill. 

A ’90s kid navigating corporate America, Rod has built a massive following of fellow anxious people trying to figure out this adulting thing. After a tough year filled with his fair share of ups and downs, Rod’s anxiety is much more manageable these days, and he’s focused on appreciating where he’s at right now. Here, Rod tells us about what growing up in the ’90s meant for his mental health, the cool thing he uses therapy for, and dealing with the not-so-shiny side of TikTok fame. 

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WM: How are you doing lately? 

Rod Thill: Lately, I feel like I’m doing a lot better than I have been the past year. From the outside, it looks like things are so successful with social media growth, starting my own company, and all this stuff, but then my personal life has been—there’s no better way to put it than absolute shit. So it’s kind of a traumatic experience, but I feel like the dust is settling, and I’m able to see clearer, which has been really good. And my anxiety is at an all-time low, which is encouraging. Now I’m seeing how I can grow through this.  

WM: Do you mind sharing a bit about your mental health journey and living with anxiety? 

RT: I grew up in the ’90s. I grew up in a great home—[I] love my parents. But growing up in the ’90s and even into the 2000s, anxiety—especially in men— wasn’t talked about. In society, there was pressure [to not] talk about it. So I think suppressing my anxiety made it even worse. Then trying to figure it out in your 20s and 30s is such an interesting experience, especially when you grow up with a backing of religion too. 

WM: What has your experience with therapy been like? 

RT: I started going to therapy in 2016. As a millennial, at least in the Midwest—even here in the Chicago area where I’m from—therapy was a taboo word. If you were in therapy, that means that something really traumatic happened to you. I’ve had some traumas from my past, but it was interesting to see that even when I got into the nitty gritty, therapy isn’t just to solve an issue. I’ve used it to learn how I communicate best and how to be more honest with myself and others. This isn’t the point of therapy, but [it’s nice] for me to have an unbiased opinion to speak with who can give me an outside perspective on things.

WM: When you were having a tough time in your personal life while growing your career, what helped you manage those different situations so you could focus on what you needed to at any given time?  

RT: Time management. I’ve been more intentional with [it] and just being around my family and protecting my peace. No one prepares you for virality on TikTok specifically. You’ve seen in Hollywood there are teams around [celebrities], and there’s coaching. What you see on the internet is me literally filming in my room alone—that’s what it was. So [when] reading the comments, for every one hate comment, there are a hundred good ones, but you want to focus on the hate comment. No one prepares you for that level of exposure. 

I’ve learned to protect my peace. I was like, “Oh my God, I need to post three TikToks today in order to go viral again or whatever.” … Even if I stop at where I’m at now, I have over a million followers on TikTok. Yeah, people have more, but I’ve created this community that interacts with me and that I can help other people relate to and help other people speak openly about their anxieties.

WM: What does getting support through TikTok fame look like for you now? 

RT: I have representation, and they’re great. I love my team; they help me with my organization and time management and even connecting me with the right people. … Connecting with Lance Bass was really good for me because [he’s] someone who was in an era of fame and had to come out publicly. So even as little as we relate, it was nice to have connections with people who have been in the spotlight who can [understand].  

WM: A lot of your content centers on workplace anxiety and millennials in corporate America. What differences have you noticed in your mental health since quitting your corporate job and becoming your own boss? 

RT: I still have imposter syndrome every day. I still go through the fear that no one likes me. If we’re looking at TikTok as my boss, it’s [thinking], Is someone going to get a promotion over me because they’re liked more?  Same with virality. But I’ve overcome that by understanding that I’m in a different spot than I was two years ago, and I’m grateful for the spot that I’m in.

WM: If you could talk to yourself like your favorite coworker, what would you say?

RT: It’s exactly what my old work bestie, who I’m still really good friends with, would say. But I would say, “You’re overreacting.” I don’t really respond well to that, but that’s truly it. I would list the successes [I’ve had] and where I’m at [in life]. That imposter syndrome is going to be creeping in, but have the outside perspective of: This is what you have accomplished, and this is what you are good at. 

And the biggest thing I’ve learned is your success and someone else’s success will not affect each other. I’m a creature of comparison—it’s my biggest fault. Especially on TikTok and Instagram, you see all these people doing cool things, and it’s like, I wanna do that. First of all, would that make sense for me to do that? Will that fulfill me personally? Will that take away from my peace? 

WM: What else would you like to add about mental health or your career?

RT: I am so grateful that this [fame] happened in my 30s. Rest in peace, Aaron Carter—that really hit me because I loved his music. … It was a big sadness to see that [a lot of his unhappiness] was because of the internet. I think people need to understand you don’t know what people are going through in their personal life. You might think you do, but there’s a lot more [going on than] what’s shown on the internet. … In this era of virality, it’s like people [feel] entitled to every part of someone’s life just because they put a part of it on social media. But at the end of the day, protecting your peace is the biggest piece of advice and the biggest way that I have prioritized my mental health.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity. 

The post Rod Thill’s Anxiety Is at an All-Time Low appeared first on Wondermind.

Q&A Link Copied 10.13.22

How Craig Melvin Prioritizes His Mental Health as a News Anchor

“I've learned how important it is to protect your peace.” ByShannon Barbour

With decades as a news anchor and host under his belt, TODAY show mainstay Craig Melvin knows what it takes to succeed and keep his peace. Hint: It involves being careful with his energy and what his kids call “daddy alone time.” Here, the mental health advocate opens up about being a work in progress and how experiencing loss and grief has shaped him.

[This interview originally appeared in a September 2022 edition of the Wondermind Newsletter. Sign up here to never miss these candid conversations.] 

WM: How are you doing lately? 

Craig Melvin: I am doing better than I probably was a year or two ago, like most people. For me, I have the benefit of usually being so busy with two small children and a demanding job that I don’t take as much time to sit alone with my thoughts and feelings as I should. There are obviously some benefits to that, but there are also a lot of cons. But lately, I’ve just been so busy that I haven’t really had to think about how I am.

WM: As a news anchor, I imagine it’s hard to disconnect or process your emotions on your own when you need to. 

CM: For a long time, I didn’t, and that was problematic. I covered a lot of consecutive mass shootings before the pandemic. I probably did eight or nine in the span of a year and a half. I found it was really bothering me, especially after having small children. I learned early on that in our line of work, you have to leave it at the office. You really do, because if you bring it home, it seeps into everything. 

It was either after the Charleston church shooting or—it’s sad that they run together this way—I think it was after Charleston, and because I am from South Carolina, I had a close connection to that story. I was pretty down for a couple of weeks, but I couldn’t figure out why. Then I was talking to my therapist, and we sort of got to the bottom of it. When you cover death, doom, and destruction on a regular basis, it takes a toll on your spirit. It takes a toll on your soul, and you don’t realize it, oftentimes until you’re a couple years into it. 

And oh, by the way, after all of that, there’s a global pandemic. And every day, the news was grimmer and grimmer. … This went on for years, and I didn’t address it. I’m a firm believer in therapy, so I started talking a little bit more to my therapist. Then I wrote a book, which also helped tremendously. 

WM: What else have you learned about your mental health working as a news anchor?

CM: I’ve learned how important it is to protect your peace. For a long time, I would allow people to occupy my emotional space. People who were not necessarily well-intentioned, people who didn’t always bring out the best in me, people who were oftentimes negative people. You know, people who wake up every morning and get out of bed just pissed off or annoyed for no reason. I have found that when I limit my exposure to those kinds of people, I am a happier person. I spend a lot more time now doing small things that make me happy. … Every week, I carve out 30, 45 minutes for either a massage or a stretch or a manicure or pedicure—something where I’m by myself [and] I’m pampering myself. My kids call it “daddy alone time.” But you have to have that. I also find that I do a lot better when I’m journaling. … [And] I meditate every other morning. 

WM: What has your journaling experience been like?

CM: I found that when I started, I would write as if someone was going to read this when I died. So I found myself writing how I wish to be perceived. And I stopped doing that because I discovered that wasn’t helping me. So when my kids or grandkids go back and read some of the stuff I’ve written now, they’re gonna be like, “Oh, dad (or granddad), he was whacked out. I’m amazed that they let him have that TODAY show job as long as they did—he was disturbed.” No, but I’m very honest about how I feel versus how I feel like I’m supposed to feel. 

I interviewed a guy who went on to become a great Olympian, and we’re gonna see him in Paris again. His name’s Caeleb Dressel, the fastest swimmer in the world. He told me this little trick, and I don’t have the guts to do it: He writes down how he feels, tears it up, throws it away, or sometimes burns it. [He] destroys it every day. … It forces him to not think about the past; it forces him to focus on moving forward.

I don’t do it. I need to wallow in my self-loathing and self-pity and sometimes go back and read [it]. Like, “Oh yeah, today sucked, but boy, you look at June 2013—that was a terrible month.” I need that. Do you journal?

WM: No, what if I die and somebody reads it? 

CM: You know what my therapist says about that? And this is what helped me get over the fear: When you die, it won’t matter. You’re dead. 

WM: I’ll be wondering what they’re thinking.

CM: Here’s the other reality: Unless you’re pure evil, typically when you die, people romanticize your life anyway. It won’t matter, the darkness that you’ve written down on paper. Unless you’re confessing to crimes, that could be a little tricky. 

WM: What stands out to you in your mental health journey? 

CM: I think the pandemic for everyone was really hard, and it was really hard on me as well. But my older brother died about a year and a half ago from colorectal cancer. That was a really hard period in terms of my mental health journey. And probably the hardest period was almost a decade ago now, which is hard to believe [it’s been] nine years. My younger brother lost his 3-year-old daughter to a rare form of Ewing sarcoma, which is a soft tissue cancer.

As odd as this may sound, I think that I have had the benefit of loss and grief perhaps more than a lot of folks. [I] have been able to see a lot of things up close. Fortunately, most people don’t have to. I’ve talked to a lot of people who’ve lost loved ones in war or in a mass shooting or to a terrible illness. So I think when you do that a lot, it shapes and molds you in ways that you don’t necessarily fully appreciate until months, years later.

I’ve had people say, “Oh, Craig, you just seem so unflappable sometimes” or “so cool” or “collected.” I think when you have experienced and seen a lot, you start to realize that you can take a lot. 

WM: What aspect of your mental health would you describe as a work in progress right now? 

CM: I still struggle mightily with imposter syndrome. You know, wondering whether I actually belong, wondering if I’m as good as some in the audience might say that I am. I struggle with feeling like I’m inadequate in some ways. I struggle with guilt—I think when you lose people who are close to you, you struggle with that. I struggle with a lot. Some days I’m on top of the world, and then some days I’m like, Ah, maybe I should have gone to law school. Maybe I should have gone into another field. 

But here’s the thing: You start talking to other people, [and] you realize, Wow, everybody’s going through something. 

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity. 

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