Stories Link Copied 02.26.25

15 People Get Real About Mental Health Medication

The harmful stigma around medication and mental health needs to end. ByCarina Hsieh Additional Reporting ByCasey Gueren

If it seems like the stigma around mental health medications is suddenly getting worse, you’re not wrong. Medications like SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety meds, and others have been the subject of some wild claims from Robert F. Kennedy Jr., newly appointed U.S. Secretary of Health & Human Services. During and since his confirmation hearing, RFK Jr. spread harmful misconceptions about these evidence-based mental health medications used to treat conditions like depression, anxiety, ADHD, and bipolar disorder. 

“Research has continuously demonstrated the safety and efficacy of antidepressants and antipsychotics,” Chase T.M. Anderson, MD, MS, assistant professor in child and adolescent psychiatrist at University of California at San Francisco, tells Wondermind. “Every medication has benefits and risks, so physicians have a ‘risks and benefits’ talk before prescribing and allow space for questions. After prescribing, we monitor for adverse events with regular appointments. With the children, adolescents, and young adults I work with, we meet a few days or a week after. As time goes on and symptoms improve, we space check-ins out more so they can be off living their lives.” 

Despite the fact that RFK Jr.’s criticism of these meds isn’t based in science (more on that here), spreading misinformation can lead to increased stigma and stereotypes about mental health medications and the people who take them. 

If you think you might benefit from mental health medication, it’s worth talking to your primary care provider or a mental health professional to address any concerns floating in the back of your mind. In the meantime, here’s what 15 people had to say about their experiences with mental health meds, including how medicine helped life become more vibrant again and the lowdown on side effects.

1. Think of it like any other medicine you’d need…  

“I’ve been taking [medication] to treat my OCD for about 10 years and had tried other medications when I was in high school. I used to be super embarrassed—especially in high school—that people would judge me for it, and I also [had] fears about what taking medicine meant about me. Once my condition got worse, I had a therapist tell me that it was just like taking medicine to treat anything else. Now I am so fucking grateful for it because I don’t think I would be here without it, and I certainly wouldn’t have the life that I do. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that you shouldn’t need it, but it doesn’t make you weak.” —Olivia L., 29

2. …Or like a doctor-prescribed safety net. 

“I was on a variety of antidepressants for roughly a decade, from age 14. There were obviously downsides and side effects, but the medication provided a really important safety net whilst I sorted out [my life]. I was fortunate to have doctors who were receptive when I wanted to try different medications, especially as there is no perfect antidepressant. Being a really young person on mental health medication often gets strange looks, but I knew it was the right choice because of the difference it made.” —Oliver A.*, 25 

3. Remember that feeling 100% perfect isn’t the goal… 

“While dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety, I hit my absolute bottom. I experienced huge bouts of rage directed at myself and others, had panic attacks every single day, and was ready to pack up my car and leave my husband and baby without any notice. I talked to my doctor about being put on an antidepressant, and since then, I honestly feel more comfortable in my own skin. I’m nowhere near 100% all the time, but being on medication takes the edge off and makes me feel like I can be around people without a panic attack brewing. Since going on medication, I have had only two panic attacks, which is a win for me—I was having at least one a day for months before.” —Kori B., 29 

4. …And that it’s OK if you get frustrated. 

“I have been on psychiatric medications for a variety of mental health issues since I was 16. I haven’t felt the stigma about taking mental health medications (thankfully, I have an amazing family and support system), but I have had to go on a journey within myself to accept that I will probably be on these medications for the rest of my life and that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that will always need this extra attention and care. 

As much as I sometimes hate that I’m taking six to eight pills a day, I know how horrible I felt all the time when I wasn’t on my medications. I truly feel like I deserve a happier, more fulfilled life than that. I have had the darkest depths of depression and the highest highs of manic episodes, but I am blissfully in the middle with this particular cocktail of medications I’m on right now. I still get to experience the full range of human emotion, and I don’t have to be a victim of my mind or scared of my thoughts. These advances in medicine are to make sure we all have the best lives possible, so why not embrace the fact that, yeah, I might be a little ‘off’ on my own, but I have so many resources available to me that can make my life so much better.” —Morgan S., 28 

5. Sometimes therapy isn’t enough.  

“I just started taking medication for depression this year, and I can’t believe I was living for years with the condition and its anxious symptoms when I didn’t have to. As an Asian American, mental health—and especially medication for it—isn’t something that’s talked about in my family. My parents thought I just needed to learn stress relief techniques and go to therapy, but that wasn’t enough. I realized [medication] was a viable and not uncommon option once my partner pointed out that many of my friends were on antidepressants and I asked them about their positive experiences with medication. I cried the first time I took a pill because I felt I was broken, but now I feel I can get so much more of my work done and enjoy being present with others without the compulsion to stay in my room and cry over stressful scenarios I’ve made up in my mind.” —Lauren C., 24 

6. It might take some time to get used to the medication…

“The process of deciding whether or not to start using medication to treat my anxiety and depression was stressful, but my psychiatrist, therapist, and close friends reassured me that it was a valid option to take on, seeing as my condition was worsening earlier in the year. What held me back the most was being seen as weak or broken. I felt like it was my fault for making choices that led me to become ill. But with time, I began to accept the fact that it was just biology, like how diabetics take insulin shots to regulate their blood sugar…taking a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) would help regulate the chemicals in my brain too. Adjusting to the medication was difficult for me—I dealt with nausea, poor sleep, and stomach problems while getting used to it and changing my dosage. But ultimately, even though the process wasn’t easy, it was also easily one of the best decisions I made all year.” —Rachel H.*, 23, 

7. …And one day, you and your doc might decide to switch it up. 

“I started taking an antidepressant back in 2017 while I was dealing with an excessive amount of panic and anxiety attacks. At first, I was skeptical that a small pill could take away my anxiety attacks, which had been causing me so much stress in my life. I took it anyway, starting off at a low dose and having the dosage raised by a small amount every month. I had a negative experience when my dose reached a certain level, but eventually, my body adjusted. It took a few months to really feel the positive effects of this SSRI, but when I did, it significantly improved my mental health, albeit with the occasional depressive episode. Antidepressants affect everyone differently, and for the most part it truly helped ease the cloud of excessive panic and anxiety attacks that followed me around. I’ve since stopped taking medication after speaking with my provider.” —Nina B., 29 

8. You might have to make some sacrifices… 

“My Sunday scaries used to involve a weekly panic attack about going back to work and the upcoming week ahead. Post medication, I haven’t had any panic attacks and can rationalize that anxiety in a realistic manner without spiraling into a panic. My sex drive and motivation are shot, but my Sunday evenings are better.” —Sera T. 29

9. …But the benefits can be worth it.  

“I avoided getting medicated for potential ADHD for years because my parents didn’t want ‘yet another thing wrong about me.’ I eventually got diagnosed at 30, and since taking medication, I am SO much more productive and honest with people. Some people think medication is a trap that makes you weak. I would say it makes me a stronger person who wants to live their life.” —Rin B., 31

10. It could save your life. 

“I have been lucky in my experience with medications to treat my depression. In high school, I was suicidal, and my mom forced me to see a doctor, which I resented, but it undoubtedly saved my life. I had the fortunate experience of the first med I tried working for me. It took time to find the right dose, but I’ve been on it for a decade now and can’t imagine my life without it. I grew up in a very small town where I think there was likely a lot of mental health stigma, but I have always been very open about it, and I think that worked to my advantage as a teenager and into adulthood. I feel awful on the rare occasions I forget my meds, but, in general, they make me feel like the life I want to build is possible.” —Lexie N., 26

11. It can help you tick off that to-do list.  

“When I actually remember to take my [ADHD meds], I feel like I log back into reality. I have combined type ADHD (as well as autism), and I didn’t realize how much I mentally checked out to cope with the simultaneously buzzing and boring world around me. So much of my body suddenly switched on [the first time I took my meds], and I was finally capable of putting my mind to something and doing it.” —Gates H.*, 27

12. It doesn’t make you weak. 

“In January 2022, I took a leave of absence from grad school for my mental health and began taking psychiatric medications. I spun a harmful narrative about myself that taking a break meant I was less intelligent and capable. The stigma surrounding medications certainly contributed, given the stereotype that if you take meds, you lack ‘mental toughness.’ Now, I’m happy to share my experiences with meds and how they have helped me build stability and resilience.” —Paige T., 26

13. And life might become more vibrant.  

“In 2015, during a period of depression and anxiety, my doctor told me that the most effective treatment for anxiety and depression was talk therapy in tandem with medication, so I started off on a low dose of medication. It was incredibly affirming to be diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and depression because it suggested my pain wasn’t all in my head and was valid. Even so, I was so ashamed that they prescribed psychiatric medication. About two weeks after taking my meds, I felt a 180-degree shift in my mental state. I describe in my book how colors started looking brighter, music started to sound better, and I felt taller both physically and emotionally. Seven years later, I’m in the process of successfully tapering off, but I’ll always be grateful for the way medication rewired some of the chemistry in my brain in a way I wasn’t able to do on my own.” —Marissa M., 30

14. And you can dedicate more energy to other areas of your life.

“I was diagnosed with GAD and depression in late 2019. My psychiatrist placed me on medication as a form of treatment, but I felt the effects of my diagnoses long before then. After years of reducing my symptoms to a ‘personality trait,’ getting a psychiatric diagnosis, treatment, and validation led to what felt like an alteration in my worldview. My depressive symptoms and severe anxiety became much more manageable, and my medication gave me the opportunity to dedicate more time and energy to practicing other forms of mental health and wellness that enhanced the effects of my medication.” —Noelle S., 23 

15. High achievers can benefit from it too. 

“When I was 25, I was a thriving, high-achieving, successful student turned post-grad professional, but my anxiety was crippling me. My primary care doctor prescribed medication to treat generalized anxiety and depression, which at the time, sounded absolutely terrifying. I begrudgingly took my prescribed dosage, which initially felt like admitting ‘defeat.’ 

Once I [found the right dosage], I felt like the medication had finally taken the edge off of life that my brain chemistry so deeply wanted. I’m deeply fortunate that the first prescribed medication worked for me, as I know it can take frustrating trial and error to find what works best for you.” —Taylor O., 32

*Name has been changed. 

Quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

The post 15 People Get Real About Mental Health Medication appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 11.27.24

Masking for Autism and ADHD Is Exhausting—Here’s How to Take Care of Yourself

Fight burnout, feel better. ByMolly Longman

For neurodivergent folks, the term “masking” refers to much more than just face coverings—it’s the common coping strategy that many people with autism spectrum disorder or ADHD use to mask certain traits associated with these conditions in an effort to downplay any perceived differences.  And, if you can relate to masking autism or ADHD, you know how taxing it can be. 

From sucking all your energy to messing with your self-esteem, masking has plenty of drawbacks. But, for some people and situations, the pros can outweigh the cons. Neurodivergent people might use masking to avoid bullying, judgment, discrimination, the loss of opportunities, and even physical danger, says psychologist Greg Wallace, PhD, an associate professor at The George Washington University who studies autism spectrum disorder across the lifespan. 

Masking can happen in public places, at work, or anytime a neurodivergent person feels unsafe or uncomfortable, explains Dr. Wallace. Sometimes it can mean making an effort to hold eye contact even when it’s uncomfortable, changing the way you speak, and shifting your body language or even your tone of voice, says Zoe Gross, director of advocacy at the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. Of course, because masking is a means of covering up your specific traits of autism and ADHD, masking can look different for everyone. 

Ideally, we could use a magic wand to build a more accepting society so no one would feel the need to mask. But, until we get there, it’s not uncommon for neurodivergent folks to turn to masking for things like impressing their boss at work, pacifying a cranky customer, or getting a drink at a bar. The important thing is that you take care of yourself before, during, and after, says  Valerie L. Gaus, PhD, a clinical psychologist who works mostly with autistic clients. “A period of masking is just like any physically or mentally draining activity,” Dr. Gaus explains. And just as you’d prep and rest after a run or painting your house, you should take care of yourself before and after masking, she adds.

If you find yourself masking frequently, these self-care tips from experts and people who get it can help you stay energized, boost your confidence, and prevent burnout. 

1. Meet your basic needs.

Like we said, masking can be exhausting. So if you want to fend off things like burnout or fatigue, make sure you’re doing the things that keep you afloat. Dr. Gaus recommends that people who mask prioritize sleep, make sure they’re not skipping meals, and stay hydrated. Meeting those small benchmarks can help you stay energized while masking and feel less drained afterward, she adds. “When you’re compassionate toward yourself, it frees you up to do more of what you want with your time and energy,” says Dr. Gaus. “Then, you can be more available for connection and sharing when you so choose.”

2. Optimize your downtime.

After masking all day, it can be helpful to find a safe place where you can decompress, says Jules Edwards, a writer and disability advocate with autism. Maybe that means skipping after-work drinks or the gym to head home. In Edwards’ experience, being intentional about how you spend your unmasked time can supercharge you after a long day. Think about what spaces and activities feel most energizing. Maybe it’s lying in a dark room or coloring in an adult coloring book. Maybe baths give you life. Anything that helps you feel more regulated or calm is fair game. 

3. Lean on community. 

Masking can make neurodivergent people feel ashamed of their traits or whatever makes them unique. When you’re constantly covering up who you really are, it’s easy to feel like you’ll never be good enough or fit in. That’s where finding people who understand can help, says Lei Wiley Mydske, the community outreach coordinator for the Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network. 

Wiley Mydske says that leaning on others in the autistic community has been a game-changer for them. “When you know a lot of autistic people, you come to the realization that you’re not alone.” And, they add, spending time with like-minded people helps them unlearn the shame they felt about masking: “At some point, it dawned on me, Other people mask too and it’s OK.”  

However you find community, spending more time with other neurodivergent folks can help you feel seen and heard. Social media and online forums are great places to connect with your people. You could join a Facebook group, follow folks with autism on Instagram or TikTok, or just chime in on a Reddit thread.

4. Find new safe spaces.

While online communities are a great place to find connections, meeting like-minded people out in the wild can be even more empowering, says Anita Robertson, LCSW, a therapist who works with ADHD-ers and has ADHD. You could join a theater club, go to a Renaissance festival, or join an improv group. Maybe not everyone there is neurodivergent like you, but your common interests can help foster a safe space outside your home. 

To be clear, you might not feel comfortable fully unmasking in these spaces (at least at first), but you might feel compelled to play with your boundaries more than you might in other situations. “The world can feel so rigid at times, but there are these beautiful, healing environments where people can begin to feel safe being themselves,” Robertson says. 

If you’re looking for a new third space, reach out to people in those online communities to see if there are any IRL groups they like. If their suggestions aren’t a fit, don’t sweat it. But it’s worth a shot, says Robertson.

5. Set some helpful boundaries.

Sometimes trying to blend in keeps you from requesting an assist when you really need it. Sure, it’s tough to ask for an accommodation without revealing your diagnosis. And that’s a problem if opening up about your neurodivergent status doesn’t feel safe. 

In those cases, Edwards suggests finding a middle ground: asking for help without disclosing your origin story. That could look like kindly requesting your coworkers send calendar invites when they want to meet (instead of just swinging by your desk). You can say you’re trying a new productivity hack you read about or you’re behind a major deadline. You don’t need to tell them you’re neurodivergent.

You can get creative coming up with accommodations that don’t fully unmask you—just make sure they’re relatively reasonable and help you in an obvious way. For instance, taking a lunch break away from your desk is probably a thing you can do without even asking. Declining an invite to the work happy hour is another one. If you’re unsure whether your self-imposed accommodation is out of line, check in with your boss over email or DM to get their take. Again, you don’t have to tell them you’re dealing with ADHD or autism. Just let them know it helps you focus, decompress, or whatever else you’re seeking.

6. Experiment with unmasking.

Finding moments to be more of your full self in front of others can feel fortifying, like a release, or even relaxing, says Dr. Gaus. It can also help you feel more confident, says Edwards. “Unmasking took time, but now I’ve found other neurodivergent friends who I feel safe around,” she says. “The more I was myself around them, the more I realized people love me for just being myself.” 

Plus, masking doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing thing. Start by asking yourself, Is unmasking in this environment going to help me or hurt me? Think about the short and long-term consequences. Is your physical safety at risk? What about your job security or even your self-esteem? 

If you’re with people you trust and you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally safe, try peeking out from behind that mask, says Dr. Gaus. You don’t have to fully out yourself or put your neurodivergent traits on display if you don’t want to, but inching toward a more authentic version of you might feel pretty damn good.

The post Masking for Autism and ADHD Is Exhausting—Here’s How to Take Care of Yourself appeared first on Wondermind.

Explainer Link Copied 07.19.24

Here’s What Masking Is and How to Tell If You’re Doing it Right Now

And what researchers know about the impact so far. ByMolly Longman

If you’re on mental health TikTok, you’ve probably come across the term masking. Or maybe you’ve heard friends with autism or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) talk about masking certain traits associated with those conditions. 

Because pretending to “appear” “normal” is something most of us have done to fit in at random points in our lives, you might have wondered whether this concept applies to you too (especially if you’ve also thought, Do I have autism?). While most of us subscribe to cultural and social norms (it’s human nature), masking specifically refers to neurodivergent folks covering up their perceived differences. 

But there’s a lot more to it than that! Here, we spoke to mental health pros and people with autism about what masking is, how to tell if you’re doing it, and what to do next. 

What is masking? 

Masking means altering your authentic self or suppressing specific parts of yourself that relate to your autism, says psychologist Greg Wallace, PhD, an associate professor at George Washington University who studies autism spectrum disorder across the lifespan. Though that’s the general idea, the things people change about themselves vary from person to person.

While it’s not a clinical term, masking is a common coping mechanism used by people with autism spectrum disorder and possibly ADHD (according to some research on women with ADHD) to avoid bullying, judgment, discrimination, the loss of opportunities, and even physical danger, according to Dr. Wallace. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), the authors write that, “Many adults with autism spectrum disorder report using compensation strategies and coping mechanisms to mask their difficulties in public.” 

For Jules Edwards, a writer and disability advocate with autism, masking looks like making eye contact even when it feels distracting and unnatural. For others, it might entail changing their tone of voice, speech patterns, facial expressions, or body language, says Zoe Gross, director of advocacy at the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. It could even show up as spending more time and effort on a project to make up for some perceived inadequacy, adds Valerie L. Gaus, PhD, a clinical psychologist who works mostly with autistic clients. And it’s not uncommon for autistic people to rehearse convos before being in certain social situations, adds Goldie McQuaid, PhD, a research assistant professor in psychology at George Mason University.

Over the last few years, masking gained wider recognition among mental health pros as advocates in the autistic community spoke up about its impact, says Dr. Wallace. Now, researchers like him are trying to learn more about the phenomenon members of the neurodiverse community have been talking about for (probably) ever, he adds.

Is masking bad?

Like we said, all humans on some level make certain choices to assimilate in society. But when neurodivergent people mask their natural tendencies to fit in with neurotypical people or get through a situation, it requires more effort than it would for someone without autism or ADHD, says Dr. Gaus. For example, the discomfort of trying to present yourself in the best way possible, like, say at a job interview, is extremely different for someone with autism than a neurotypical person, Dr. Gaus explains. “It can be destructive if one person is exerting themselves more than everyone else just so they can participate.” 

But sometimes people with neurodevelopmental conditions mask because they just feel more comfortable doing so. “I’m someone who wants to blend in,” Edwards says. “For me, it feels like putting on my game face every day and presenting a version of myself to the world that’s more widely accepted than my true self,” she says. “There’s a misconception that it’s being fake, but that’s not what it is at all.” 

Still, it is possible masking can mess with your self-esteem or change the way you view yourself over time, Dr. Gaus says. The idea is that, “as you learn to mask, you may also teach yourself to invalidate your individuality,” she explains. That experience can wear on your confidence.

Masking can also make it harder for folks who might have autism or ADHD to get a diagnosis and support, both of which can be validating and helpful with day-to-day life.

Other than that, there’s a lot we don’t know about the mental health risks of masking because researchers are catching up to decades of anecdotal accounts from autistic people, Dr. Wallace explains. Most studies on masking have been published in the last five to 10 years. 

Despite the limited research, Dr. Wallace says early findings show that masking could be associated with feelings of isolation and suicidal ideation, according to a 2019 study in The Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. And in a systematic review of research, the authors of a 2018 study concluded that females who masked their autism traits, “experience high levels of subjective stress, anxiety and exhaustion and a need to re-charge or recuperate by withdrawing from any social interaction.”

It’s not clear why masking is associated with these mental health struggles, but there are some theories. Masking can take a lot of mental energy, explains Anita Robertson, LCSW, a therapist who works with ADHD-ers and has ADHD. She adds it can be doubly exhausting for women who often ~perform for society~ in many ways already. Same goes for people of color, who may also feel forced to code switch based on their environment. 

Again, it’s hard to say for sure if masking itself causes harm because it doesn’t occur in a vacuum, Dr. McQuaid adds. “There are lots of other things that autistic people experience at elevated rates relative to nonautistic people, like discrimination and trauma, which can also cause negative mental health consequences.”

How to tell if you’re masking 

Since masking happens in people with autism (and possibly ADHD), the best indicator is an autism or ADHD diagnosis. But because those neurodevelopmental conditions are often underdiagnosed (sometimes due to masking itself), it’s possible some are out here camouflaging their neurodiverse traits from a young age without realizing it, says Dr. Wallace. That’s especially true for women and girls, who, as the DSM-5-TR points out, may be better at having reciprocal conversations, sharing their interests, and modifying their behavior by situation—even if they have the same “social understanding difficulties” as boys and men with autism. 

Other than a diagnosis, the best way to identify masking is paying attention to how you feel at the end of the day and what’s behind it, Dr. Gaus says. Try keeping a log for a few weeks, tracking your daily activities and ranking your energy levels before and after each one. Over time, you might notice some patterns that help you identify your most common masking behaviors. 

If you’re still not sure, try journaling on it, talking with a trusted friend, or a  neurodiversity-affirming therapist, says Gross. In the end though, “It is such a subjective experience and only you can really know how much you are being strained by it,” adds Dr. Gaus.

The post Here’s What Masking Is and How to Tell If You’re Doing it Right Now appeared first on Wondermind.

Explainer Link Copied 06.03.24

Wait, Am I Autistic?

Read this before you self-diagnose. ByAshley Laderer

Thanks to social media (looking at you, TikTok), TV shows (hi, Love on the Spectrum), and passionate advocates (sup, Holly Robinson Peete), there’s been a major increase in autism awareness. That’s obviously a lovely thing, but you’re not alone if you’re still wondering, What exactly is autism, and—actually—do I have autism?

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental condition (like ADHD and dyslexia), that specifically impacts how you behave and socialize, according to The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR). That’s because, when you have autism, your brain processes social interactions and sensory information (the way things sound, taste, feel, etc.) differently, says Lauren Kerwin, PhD, a clinical psychologist specializing in ASD. Those differences can make you feel overwhelmed, isolated, and anxious in everyday scenarios, she adds.

The way this shows up in someone’s life depends on a lot of factors (more on that later), but if you’ve spent a little time on ASD TikTok, you might assume autism mostly means loving routines, hating certain textures and sounds, and being super into your hobbies. Which, relatable! While that might be true for some with ASD, having special interests, despising cotton balls, and being totally inflexible of altering your schedule doesn’t automatically mean you’re autistic. [Heads up: Some people prefer to say, “I am autistic” whereas others prefer “I have autism.” We’ll be acknowledging both preferences here by using both in this article.] 

To help you figure out what’s an actual trait of autism, what’s not, and what that means for you, we asked experts for all the details. Plus, we’ll explain what causes ASD and how to get a diagnosis and support.

One quick thing before we dive into the details: Mental health is complex and everyone has a unique experience, so don’t go diagnosing yourself just because you read a few articles on the internet (though, we do appreciate you stopping by to learn a few things). If this resonates with you, consider it a jumping-off point in your journey to getting care. OK, let’s get into it…

What is autism?

Neurodevelopmental conditions like autism impact the brain and nervous system, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). By definition, ASD traits start showing up during childhood, but many people aren’t diagnosed until they’re adults, possibly because they learned “masking” to blend in with neurotypical people, and also because autism can be misdiagnosed as anxiety, says Agnesa Papazyan, PsyD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in ASD. 

While autism traits have to have been present since childhood, how they show up can change with time, per the APA. Dr. Kerwin adds that a few things can impact how your traits manifest and how severe they are, including your environment, your coping strategies, and what accommodations you have access to. Your age and developmental stage also play a role. “Much like when you become a teenager and experience a shift in your emotions and behaviors, or when you’re an adult and experience your relationships in a new way, autistic individuals will experience changes in how their characteristics present as their lives progress,” Dr. Papazyan says

What are the characteristics of autism? 

There are two main categories of ASD traits. The first is a persistent struggle with “social communication and social interaction” across multiple areas of your life, like school, work, home, and interpersonal relationships, according to the DSM-5-TR. That could look like struggling to have a back-and-forth convo, catch on to non-verbal cues, or maintain friendships. Some people with ASD are totally nonverbal or rely on just a few words or phrases to communicate, which would be classified as ASD with an accompanying language impairment, the DSM-5-TR states. 

The second bucket of characteristics is called “restrictive, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities” in the DSM-5-TR. Traits that tend to fall under this category include repetitive movements or speech, like repeating someone else’s words or rocking back and forth to self-soothe when you feel overwhelmed, Dr. Papazyan explains. 

Engaging in “restrictive, repetitive” patterns can also impact what you do for fun and make you hyperfixate on specific interests, like memorizing flags or collecting trinkets, which could be a source of comfort. This goes beyond getting stuck on a specific phrase, fixating on a niche hobby, or making the exact same breakfast for months/years at a time. For peeps with ASD, this might feel almost like a dopamine hit when you find something you’re truly interested in, Dr. Kerwin says. When your brain’s tickled in this way, it can make you want to engage even more and understand everything about a certain topic, like memorizing pi or every Chanel bag, she explains. These hyperfixations can impact your ability to get things done or connect with others, even if you don’t necessarily realize just how invested you are in these things, Dr. Kerwin says. 

Sensory issues are also common for autistic people and can contribute to restrictive and repetitive patterns. This can go one of two ways: You’re super sensitive or hyposensitive, meaning not sensitive at all, to different sensations, says Dr. Papazyan. This can affect many aspects of a person’s life, including the clothes you wear, the foods you eat, the places you go, and how you experience pain. For example, someone who’s hyposensitive may be less bothered by hot or cold temperatures, while someone who is hypersensitive might be incredibly bothered by certain fabrics or textures.

To be diagnosed with ASD, you have to have experienced all of the social difficulties above and at least two of the restrictive, repetitive traits listed in the DSM-5-TR at some point in your childhood (even if you managed to function just fine at the time). And these characteristics have to negatively impact your professional, social, or personal life today, even if you don’t necessarily notice the impairment. 

Again, the way this shows up varies from person to person. Every autistic person is unique––and their traits manifest on a super broad spectrum with a variety of presentations, says Dr. Kerwin. FYI: That’s what the “autism spectrum” means; it’s not a scale from least to most severe. 

That said, the level of severity when it comes to autism traits is also something that experts care about because it can help them identify what kinds of support you’d need. According to the DSM-5-TR, there are three “levels” of severity: Level 1 is least severe, Level 2 is moderately severe, and Level 3 is most severe. Sounds simple, but it’s not. Though more severe levels of ASD could require more care, that’s not always the case, per the DSM-5-TR. Plus, severity in one class of characteristics doesn’t necessarily mean severity in the other type, says Dr. Papazyan. “You could have a person who is super social and can have back-and-forth conversations at a Level 1. At the same time, they are a Level 3 for rigid, repetitive behaviors, like they’re constantly flapping their hands.” 

What causes autism?

Neurodevelopmental disorders are ones that impact the brain, so we know that the characteristics of autism are related to neurological differences. But researchers aren’t sure what’s responsible for those brain differences, Dr. Papazyan says. While the DSM-5-TR suggests things like premature birth, being exposed to medications that cause fetal abnormalities while you were in the womb, or your mother’s age when you were born might play a role, this is all pretty speculative. As is pretty much any explanation you see from a sketchy medical “expert” on social media. 

There could be some genetic factors at play too, Dr. Papazyan adds. For example, if your family tree includes autistic folks, you’re more likely to have autism, notes the DSM-5-TR. This doesn’t mean you’re destined to have it though. And you can have ASD even without a family history. The DSM-5-TR also says “as many as 15% of cases of autism spectrum disorder appear to be associated with a known genetic mutation,” which means it’s not always caused by this. 

Whatever the case, we know there are a variety of differences related to brain development and functioning in people with autism. Research suggests that people with ASD experience an overgrowth in some parts of the brain in early childhood, followed by a decline in size during and after adolescence. Some of the brain regions that are thought to be impacted in ASD include the frontal lobe (which rules executive functioning—like planning and flexibility), the amygdala (which helps us process emotions and social cues), and the temporal region (which is involved with language and socializing), Dr. Kerwin says. 

All these differences can make it challenging for autistic people to do things like decode body language or facial expressions and have conversations that flow. Switching tasks and adapting to new information can also be really tricky and distressing. “This can make social situations difficult to navigate, potentially leading to social withdrawal or misunderstandings,” Dr. Kerwin says. 

How do I get diagnosed?

Speaking to a therapist or other mental health pro who specializes in autism is a solid first step if you think you might be autistic. On top of considering the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5-TR, they’ll have you fill out questionnaires that ask about your friendships, work, and hobbies to get a clearer picture of your life, Dr. Papazyan says. Since ASD affects social functioning, a big part of getting a diagnosis is the provider seeing how you interact with them, Dr. Kerwin adds. They’ll likely pay attention to things like eye contact, speech patterns, and how you react to nonverbal cues, she explains. If possible, they might even speak to people who know you to get a full picture of how you behave and interact with others—now and throughout your life. Ultimately, this assessment can help determine if you have ASD and, if you do, what areas of your life you need the most therapeutic or caregiver support with. 

You might already be thinking about diagnosing yourself, which is popular thanks to more people sharing their experiences with self-diagnosis on social media, increased awareness about the condition in pop culture, and tons of posts listing off “signs and symptoms of ASD.” Or maybe mental health care is inaccessible for you (relatable) and you’re annoyed by the lack of diversity in ASD studies and the fact that even experts say the diagnostic criteria can be lacking and biased. All that can make self-diagnosis feel way more empowering. 

But without a therapist’s help, it can be hard to know if what you’re experiencing is actually autism—especially since ASD can overlap with anxiety, depression, ADHD, and OCD, Dr. Kerwin says. The DSM-5-TR also states ASD is often linked to other developmental disorders too. Plus when you don’t get a professional evaluation, you risk living with an incorrect self-diagnosis, which could mean you use coping tools that don’t actually work for you and that could lead to worsening or new problems, Dr. Kewin adds. Still, looking to legit resources (like The Organization for Autism Research, the Autism Society, or the CDC) can help you learn more about the condition and yourself and can be a jumping-off point for seeking professional support, Dr. Papazyan says. 

What does support look like? 

Because the condition impacts everyone differently, there’s no one-size fits-all support. Whatever route you go, the goal isn’t to overhaul your life and turn you into someone you’re not. Instead, the aim is to help you manage in a way that makes socializing, adapting to change, and regulating your emotions easier, Dr. Kerwin says. 

The best type of support for you will depend on what characteristics you are targeting. But most people with autism could benefit from talking to a mental health pro (like a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist), Dr. Papazyan says. 

For starters, a therapist can talk you through whatever tough feelings come up in your life—whether they’re related to ASD or not—and any overlapping conditions, like depression and anxiety, Dr. Papazyan says. Talk therapy modalities like dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) can help you address any unhelpful restrictive or repetitive behaviors, while also teaching you emotion regulation skills, Dr. Kerwin adds. DBT is especially helpful if you experience suicidal ideation, which is prevalent among autistic people, the DSM-5-TR states. 

A therapist can also work with you to develop self-soothing techniques if your restrictive, repetitive behaviors stem from emotional distress or sensory issues. If you struggle to convey your needs or complex ideas, a therapist can help you understand and communicate why you feel or think a certain way, Dr. Papazyan explains. 

Working with a psychiatrist is useful if you’re curious about adding medications to your mental health toolkit. While there’s no pill for people with autism, there are some promising antipsychotic medications that are used to treat irritability and restrictive, repetitive behaviors in children, Dr. Kerwin says. And if you tend to experience anxiety or depression, you can talk to a psychiatrist to determine if taking medication for those conditions could help your mental health in general. 

Support can also look like working with specialists and coaches to assist you with things like social skills, sensory issues, and professional interactions, Dr. Kerwin says. If having a back-and-forth conversation is your biggest area of opportunity, a speech therapist can help you understand nonverbal communication and develop more conversational skills (like asking follow-up questions) so you can play off the other person a bit more. If you struggle with sensory issues, an occupational therapist can help you get more comfortable with various sensations or learn more effective ways of coping, like using noise canceling headphones at a loud coffee shop. If landing a job is the goal, a job coach can help you navigate the pits of LinkedIn and Indeed while preparing you for interviews and workplace politics, Dr. Kerwin adds. Honestly, the list goes on and on. 

When searching for any sort of coach or therapist, it’s important that they’re qualified to work with autistic people and can help you achieve your goals, so don’t be afraid to ask for their credentials, Dr. Kerwin notes. (If you want to build a dream team of specialists but don’t know where to begin, try the Autism Society’s provider referral program.) 

If you’re really struggling with your condition and can’t live on your own because you can’t communicate with others or take care of your daily needs, support could include a reliable and constant caregiver who can help you cook, clean, manage finances, interact with other people, or even care for your basic health and hygiene needs, Dr. Papazyan says. In some regions, there are government-backed programs that can connect you with a group home, adult daycares, and other special services, she adds. 

Whatever support path you choose, you might also want to connect with other autistic folks to continue to learn more about the condition and have people you can relate and talk to, Dr. Papazyan suggests. On top of tapping into local support groups, you could also follow advocates who share their experiences with and expertise in ASD on social media, Dr. Papazyan says. To get you started, consider seeing what content creator Callum Stephen or autistic psychologist Dr. Joey are sharing.

Whether you have autism or not, help is available for whatever obstacles you might be facing. 

The post Wait, Am I Autistic? appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 04.30.24

11 Things Your Autistic Friends Want You to Know

Being flexible and direct can go a long way. ByChristina Heiser

We all want to be a great friend to our people, but showing up for your friend with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) might look a little different from the way you support your neurotypical friends. 

That’s because ASD is a type of disorder that impacts “how people interact with others, communicate, learn, and behave,” according to the National Institute of Health (NIH). Those differences can show up in tons of different contexts—whether we’re talking work, school, or social life.  

For some people with ASD, this might look like struggling to have a back and forth conversation or adjust their behavior based on the social context, avoiding initiating social interactions, or hyperfixating on certain interests, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders (DSM-5-TR). There can also be confusion with nonverbal cues—like not making eye contact or appropriate facial expressions—which can make socializing trickier, says psychiatrist Sid Khurana, MD, medical director at Nevada Mental Health, who works with autism patients. Straying from routine can also be overwhelming for some with ASD, according to the NIH. 

Of course, autism affects everyone differently, and no one person will have the same experiences as another. But, in general, symptoms like those can make it challenging for an autistic person to be understood and accepted by people who aren’t neurodivergent or don’t know enough about how to support neurodivergent folks.

So, what can you do to foster a healthy friendship with your autistic friends? Below, autistic people—and medical professionals who work with autistic patients—share their advice. 

1. Shift your expectations.

“If you have a friend who is on the spectrum, the first thing to do is make yourself more aware of what autism is and how it affects someone, so that you can have realistic expectations. You might anticipate differences in eye contact, that there will be conversation limitations, that people with autism might have special interests that they hyperfocus on, or they might at times say things that are not appropriate. They might be very literal, concrete, might not understand sarcasm, might say things that are ‘correct’ but inappropriate. Knowing what to expect helps us to understand, accept, and not judge them the way we would neurotypical people.” —Dr. Khurana

2. Be willing to be flexible. 

“If an autistic person says, for example, ‘I really need us to go somewhere we can sit outside,’ what they might really be saying is: ‘If we can sit outside, comfortably, I will be able to hear you and focus better, as indoor spaces are loud, busy, and have too much stimuli.’ Adapting oneself to whatever an autistic person says works best is a form of love. Have patience when they try to express this or they’re not coping with an environment well. That can help someone who already worries about being difficult.” —Rose Hughes, autistic woman and neurodiversity and disability specialist at Bened Life

3. Don’t compliment them for seeming neurotypical. 

“Do not say things like, ‘You don’t seem autistic,’ or, ‘You don’t look autistic,’ or ‘I don’t think of you as autistic.’ Some people mean this as a compliment or to indicate that you are ‘high-functioning,’ but these statements can imply that it’s better to not be autistic.” —Suzannah Weiss, an autistic woman and relationship coach

4. Be direct.

“For me, the most annoying thing a friend can do is kid around with me. I can’t really tell when someone is being sarcastic or when someone is trying to be funny. So, I prefer when my friends are direct and just say exactly what they mean.” —Adrienne Bunn, 18, who became the youngest known female with autism to complete the IRONMAN World Championship race.

5. Ask what type of support works best for them. 

“[Before you spend time together] be sure to ask what feels like a supportive space. Do they need some silence with a physical presence, some sensory input like a hug or hand on the shoulder, or just someone to talk to them? There are so many options to support neurodiverse individuals, so just ask.” —therapist Michelle Hunt, LMHC, neurodivergence and ARFID services director for Empower Your Mind Therapy

6. Take them seriously.

“Autistic people are used to masking their traits and putting up with sensory and emotional stimuli that are taxing on them. So if they express that something is too much—like they’re overwhelmed by a loud noise, a strong scent, or an emotionally intense conversation—they really mean it. They are likely being pushed to their breaking point.” —Weiss

7. Find the right mode of communication to talk to your friend.

“My friends know not to call me. If my phone rings, I go into panic mode, and I just stare at it. When someone asks me to call, I literally isolate myself and it can come across as dismissive. It’s hard to understand in general because it would be quicker than texting, but, for me, friends who respect that I’d rather text, WhatsApp, or eventually meet up for coffee, are the ones that last. Friends have said to me, ‘I know you don’t do phone calls, so maybe we can do this?’ And that kind of adaptability is a love language for me.” —Hughes

8. Show that you can relate or empathize. 

“It is often comforting when a friend says something to indicate that they are familiar and comfortable with autistic people—or even feel positively about them. For instance, when I told one friend I was autistic, she replied, ‘I have a few autistic friends, and they’re all super smart.’ This helped me to feel at ease. I didn’t have to hide my autism from her. Any indication that someone understands, relates to, or empathizes with aspects of autism is comforting. —Weiss

10. Just be there for them. 

“Just being there, even in the silence, shows unwavering support. It’s about the quality of the presence, not always about engaging activities. A memorable moment of support was when a friend simply sat with us, not rushing or expecting anything, just sharing the space and allowing my daughter to interact on her terms. This quiet acceptance was incredibly supportive.” —Brenda Christensen, whose 17-year-old has non-verbal autism

11. Check in at an event.

“I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD at 26 (I’m now 28), and not many of my friends stepped up in the way I needed. I could tell some of them didn’t believe me or didn’t understand my diagnosis. For example, when I asked for support at an overwhelming social event, one of my friends told me, ‘It’s just in your head.’ That tipped me over the edge into a meltdown. When friends check in on me, especially at social events, and ask what I need to feel more comfortable, it makes me feel loved. Sometimes they offer to dim the lights, let me DJ, and be a listening ear if I need to vent.” —Kendall Fae Fuhrman, Wondermind interim social director

The post 11 Things Your Autistic Friends Want You to Know appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 12.13.23

4 Therapist Tips for Anyone Who Is Very Overstimulated Right Now

The big light is ruining my life. ByLexi Inks

Ever stepped into a bar where 20 TVs are playing all of the sports, music is blaring, people are talking over each other, and then someone asks, “What’s new with you?” That intense blast to the eyes, ears, and brain is enough to make anyone say, “Woah, I need a sec.” But for those of us who often feel overstimulated, just a fraction of those visuals, sounds, or even smells can make us lash out or shut down. 

Though it’s not a diagnosis or a clinical term, many mental health pros agree that overstimulation happens when you’re overwhelmed by things you can taste, touch, hear, smell, or see (see: sensory input), explains therapist Mema Mansouri, LICSW. You can also be overstimulated by tasks and social interactions (like trying to hold five different convos with all your friends at the dinner table) that require processing info faster than you can handle, she adds. Basically, no matter the situation or the sense that’s being overloaded, the incoming sensory information exceeds your ability to digest it—leaving you totally consumed by it and unable to function the way you’d like, Mansouri says. 

Why do we get overstimulated?

If TikTok is any indication—where the concept has over 453 million views—this feeling can seem pretty common. Still, overstimulation isn’t just being enraged with your chronic pen-clicker colleague. This mental health challenge also involves an all-consuming sense of overwhelm that can become unmanageable and manifest as irritability, nervousness and jitteriness, nausea, and discomfort in your body—especially in places like your head and chest, explains licensed clinical social worker Neathery Falchuk, LCSW-S.

Sometimes that makes people shut down completely, other times it’s being diverted from what you’re working on or who you’re talking to and feeling like you’ve blacked out. It’s as if the only thing you can focus on is how horrible this sensation makes you feel, explains therapist Sheylah Trotter, LMHC. 

While some rock back and forth and cover their ears to self-soothe, crying, lashing out, or going into a full-on panic are also common ways people deal with that overstimulation, says Trotter.

Like we said, anyone can experience sensory overload but the debilitating kind seems to be more common in people with sensory processing disorders, anxiety disorders, or neurodivergent people—like people with autism or ADHD. That’s because these conditions can come with heightened sensitivities to things like flashing lights, crowds, and irritating sounds, says Falchuck. Plus, neurodivergent people’s experiences with overstimulation can last longer and feel more intense than what neurotypical people may experience in those same instances, making it harder to cope, Mansouri explains.

Whether you have a mental health condition or not, overstimulation could make you want to close yourself off to new experiences, limit how often you see other people, or keep you preoccupied with potential triggers and sources of relief, Mansouri adds. Obviously, that can feel isolating and even depressing, affirms Mansouri and psychotherapist Leah Cohen, LCSW.

If you’ve ever experienced this kind of overwhelm, you know how hard it can be to get back to baseline after being personally victimized by your environment. Still, there are a few expert-backed ways you can navigate those tough moments when they come up. 

1. Know your triggers and stay prepared. 

To prevent sensory overload sneak attacks, you can plan ahead by identifying those potentially distressing situations and the coping strategies that might work best, Falchuk says. 

You can start this detective work by journaling about or making a list of when you tend to feel overloaded (Trader Joe’s), what thoughts you experience in those moments (no one here knows how to be a human), and how you’d normally respond (sorry to the innocent cashiers), Trotter suggests. If you’re already in the thick of it and you’re able to, take a quick note on your phone of what is triggering you and how you are responding (or want to). Cohen also recommends taking note of which senses are most sensitive, like if the store music pierced your ears.  

Once you’ve gathered some intel on your brain, you can prepare yourself for future sensory pile-ons that might derail your day. Falchuck explains, “If you find grocery shopping overstimulating, a way to cope with this could be choosing to go at a time that’s less busy.”  

But you don’t have to rearrange your life to avoid your triggers. You could also bring along a sensory kit, or a bunch of items that can help you manage an influx of sensory information, Mansouri explains. You can pop on some noise-canceling headphones and sunglasses or even use some communication cards to help you relay your emotions and needs to others when you’re struggling to vocalize your thoughts in the moment, Mansouri says. (You can buy these cards online, but they might not make sense for your specific situation, so making your own to reflect your needs in the various settings where you might use them is an option too.) 

2. Use grounding techniques.

Once you’re in the throes of overstimulation, it can feel like you’re detached from reality and out of control, Trotter explains. Like any situation that gets you stuck inside your head, little tricks to help you focus on what’s really happening around you (even if that reality is an overwhelming one) can get you out of that mental spiral and ready to cope, Trotter adds. 

There are a ton of mindfulness exercises out there, but you can start by stepping into a quieter, less crowded space (like the bathroom or hallway) to practice deep breathing for a few minutes. Inhale through your nose to fill up your stomach like a balloon, and then exhale slowly, as if blowing on a cup of tea, Cohen says.

Of course, deep breathing isn’t for everyone (hello, my anxious, hyperventilating friends). In that case, you could try to distract your mind from whatever it’s fixated on by naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste, Trotter says. You can also mess around with a fidget spinner or take a whiff of an essential oil you like (mmm, eucalyptus).

You can also use your phone. Mansouri, who identifies as neurodivergent, gets centered by watching videos of sea turtles slowly swimming through the ocean, living their best sea turtle lives. But your choice of vid could be anything that has that slow movement and makes you feel more stabilized, she says. 

No matter what grounding technique you prefer, practicing them before an overstimulation emergency pops up will make them easier to lean on when you need them most, Trotter says.

3. Do something physical.

Some people may find that physical activity helps them cope with sensory overload. Cohen mentions that they’ve seen clients benefit from movement, like walking or other forms of exercise, because it can release stress and tension in your body and distract your mind from the trigger(s) and how terrible you feel. 

“For many autistic people, stimming [aka repeating certain movements or sounds for a calming effect] in their preferred way helps mitigate the impact of sensory input,” Cohen explains. This may mean self-soothing by rocking back and forth or shaking your leg, Trotter says. 

4. Find your people.

Rather than trying to isolate or deal with overstimulation alone forever, telling your support system what you’re dealing with—and showing them how to help you—can keep you from feeling bad about the fact that you feel bad, Falchuk says. So tell your boss you may need to turn off your camera in a Zoom meeting or ask your parent to keep a sensory kit in their car if you tend to feel overloaded on the way to school. 

You’ll also want to foster connections with people who understand your struggle because they can share tips, and the camaraderie can help you feel less alone. “The experience of being understood is so powerful, and the reminder of not being the only one who experiences sensory overload is incredibly validating,” Falchuk explains. 

Like a lot of these tools, it’s best to reach out when you’re in a chill state of mind to build a network of empathetic people for long-term support. When you have your community on lock, you can call on them when a crisis strikes, Mansouri says. 

Social media can be a great way to get plugged in. If you’ve been diagnosed with a condition like autism or ADHD, joining a Facebook group—like “Neurodivergent Adulting”—can provide a space for you to get support from other people who might also experience overstimulation. Instagram accounts like Jenn Granneman’s, author of the book Sensitive, also offer advice and encouragement for people who often feel overloaded. 

If you’re neurotypical or don’t have a diagnosable mental health condition, you can still find support through platforms like Reddit, TikTok, or Meetup, which host multiple stress relief and self-care groups where you could practice grounding and coping techniques, Masouri suggests. 

Finally, if you have a hard time finding groups that speak to you, consider opening up to someone you already trust and let them know what you’re dealing with and how you’d like them to support you in the future.

The bottom line: Overstimulation can feel impossible to control in the moment, but there are ways you can cope now and be ready to handle sensory overload in the future. By experimenting and finding what works for you on top of leaning on your support system, you’ll become confident in more settings.

The post 4 Therapist Tips for Anyone Who Is Very Overstimulated Right Now appeared first on Wondermind.

Explainer Link Copied 12.07.23

Going Nonverbal Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means

Having a drained social battery doesn’t count. ByCarina Hsieh

If you’ve been on TikTok recently, you’ve probably seen creators mentioning “going nonverbal” and joking about their social batteries running out after vibing at a party for a second too long (or hitting the weed pen too hard). While most people have experience with this feeling of suddenly getting introspective and verbally withdrawn, the “going nonverbal” punchline trivializes a symptom experienced by people with autism—a point some content creators have already made. 

This isn’t the first time the meme cycle has taken a mental health term out of context (hi, trauma bonding and codependency), and we’re not here to judge you for the likes and shares. Still, setting the record straight can help us understand ourselves and others even more. It also enables us to avoid co-opting or watering down language that serves specific or already stigmatized populations. With that in mind, read on for what going nonverbal actually means, what it feels like, and more accurate ways to express that fading-into-the-background-feeling.

First, what does nonverbal even mean?

This has two meanings, says licensed psychologist David Tzall, PsyD. The first official definition is an adjective that describes communicating without words by choice. Think: shrugging your shoulders or discreetly grabbing your friend to make sure they clocked your mutual’s wild statement too. 

The second interpretation, while not an official clinical definition, describes when someone is only able to communicate using a few words, is totally mute, or is limited to expressing themselves through pointing or grunting, Dr. Tzall explains. This form of being nonverbal is not a choice and can impact a person’s functioning and quality of life, Dr. Tzall adds. 

The inability to speak can impact people with autism who haven’t developed verbal skills, who struggle with person-to-person communication, or who have speech disorders, like apraxia of speech. For nonverbal autistic people, speech therapy may help, but developing or regaining language isn’t a guarantee, says psychiatrist Judith Joseph, MD.

Becoming involuntarily nonverbal is also something that can happen to trauma survivors, Dr. Joseph explains. If their flight, fight, or freeze response is activated, people with a history of trauma can experience a form of dissociation that renders them unable to speak—even if they wanted to, she adds. “Sometimes the person feels detached from their body or their surroundings, and they have no control over this.” Dr. Joseph says.

Being somewhat or completely nonverbal is also a symptom of certain types of aphasia, a communication disorder that’s brought on by brain injury, stroke, or a progressive neurological disease, like Alzheimer’s. 

All of this is to say that these memes about “going nonverbal” are totally missing the fact that many people have no choice over the matter, Dr. Tzall says. It’s the difference between someone who prefers to be more reserved in certain situations and someone who cannot speak—even if they really want to—because they’re neurodivergent or dealing with a physical or mental health condition, he explains. “Not having the ability to communicate and being truly nonverbal is a form of a disability. When people inappropriately label themselves as going ‘nonverbal’ by choice, it discredits the communities that have very real challenges and disabilities,” Dr. Joseph adds. 

Why it sometimes feels so hard to talk even if you’re not nonverbal

One of the reasons this concept became a thing in the meme world is because a lot of us have verbally Irish exited a social interaction when we’re just too exhausted to keep up a conversation. Ambiverts, you definitely get this. “Shutting down is a natural instinct among humans and animals to preserve safety and security,” Dr. Tzall adds.

This experience could be more common in people with anxiety or depression, who might find themselves more easily depleted and have less of a desire to engage with others, Dr. Tzall explains. 

So, even if you can typically talk without issue in various other situations, anxiety can really eff with your conversational skills and make you feel like you have no control. It’s much harder to be charming when you’re already using so much brain power to spiral through scary what-if scenarios or worry about what people think of you (like with social anxiety).

People with depression can face similar struggles when they’re dealing with extreme fatigue. Maybe this is obvious, but it can be extra challenging or overwhelming to talk when a depressive episode leaves you barely able to shower or eat a legit meal, Dr. Joseph says. Having a hard time focusing or low self-worth, which is common in people with depression, can also make you withdraw from chitchat, Dr. Tzall adds.

Here’s what you should say instead. 

There’s nothing wrong with admitting you need to tap out or sharing your social depletion story on the internet, but maybe a better way to describe it would be something like “I’m shutting down,” “feeling flooded,” or “getting overwhelmed,” suggest Dr. Joseph and Dr. Tzall. “Powering down” and “low-battery mode” might also be solid options, if you can relate. 

Whatever you call it, consider this permission to delete yourself from that situation and head out to recharge. Since it’s pretty clear most of us have been there, no one’s judging.

The post Going Nonverbal Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means appeared first on Wondermind.