Explainer Link Copied 03.20.24

What’s Dyslexia and Do I Have It?

Here’s everything you missed about this learning disability. BySam Brodsky

Samantha R., 34, remembers saying the word “own” over and over to herself in second grade and having no clue how to spell it. She also remembers crying a year later as she struggled to get through Green Eggs and Ham  while her classmates moved on to harder reads. Back then, saying the words on the page felt as intimidating as a marathon, she tells Wondermind. When she turned 8, a psychologist told her she had dyslexia. 

Dyslexia is a neurodevelopmental disorder (like ADHD and autism) that makes it difficult to recognize words and spell them. That’s because, when you have dyslexia, your brain processes language differently, explains clinical psychologist and speaker Cheryl Chase, PhD. If you have the disorder, it can feel like your brain’s in overdrive as you read or write, she says. 

While the condition mostly impacts how you process words, having to work harder than others to accomplish basic tasks can mess with your self-worth and confidence and impact your mental health, says psychologist Edwin Oliver, PsyD, lead psychologist at Baltimore’s Dyslexia Tutoring Program. Those feelings can carry over into the real world as you do normal life stuff like taxes or applying for a mortgage or a job. 

Even if having dyslexia feels extremely shameful or isolating, it’s a legit disorder and you’re not the only one trying to manage it. “Whether you know them or not, it’s not just you,” says Samantha R. With that in mind, let’s get into what dyslexia is, why it happens, how it’s diagnosed, and what you can do about it.  

What is dyslexia? 

Dyslexia is what the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR) calls a specific learning disorder, or a condition that makes it more difficult to process info in an academic setting compared to other people your age. 

This condition is also often referred to as a learning disability. Depending on how severe your symptoms are, dyslexia can qualify as a legal disability that entitles you to accommodations at work and in school, like taking a verbal test, getting extra time for assignments, or using audiobooks, says Dr. Chase, who specializes in learning disorders. 

Whatever you call it, dyslexia is a condition that makes it difficult to process sounds and connect them to words you say and see on paper. That can show up as mispronouncing and misspelling things, explains Dr. Chase. For example, someone with dyslexia might read “animal” like “aminal,” but it’s not because they literally see it that way on the page, she says. The word likely looks the same as it does to you, but their brain isn’t processing the letters correctly, she notes.

This disorder can impact writing too. When you’re working extra hard to spell, you don’t have the mental space to consider things like grammar, capitalization, punctuation, and the point you’re trying to make with your words, Dr. Chase says. 

While this can make basic tasks hard, people with dyslexia can  learn. Their brains just function differently than those without a learning disability, Dr. Chase says. So there you have it.

What causes these differences is still a bit murky. But research suggests this condition often runs in families. If you have a parent with dyslexia, it’s more likely that you or one of your siblings will have it too, says Dr. Chase. 

How is dyslexia diagnosed? 

Like with ADHD, issues with dyslexia show up in childhood, and, to be diagnosed, you’ll need to have experienced symptoms like the ones above as a kid, per the DSM-5-TR. Most of the time, kids with dyslexia fall behind their classmates. For example, they might be learning to read in third grade while everyone else is reading to learn  (aka comprehension), says Dr. Oliver.

That said, it’s not uncommon to get a diagnosis later in life, Dr. Oliver adds. Maybe you remember having a hard time reading in school, but you didn’t notice how bad it was until high school or when you started a desk job. It’s also possible people (yourself included) assumed you just needed to pay attention or work harder, says Dr. Chase. Of course, money and/or lack of access could’ve prevented you from getting tested for it as a kid too. 

No matter how old you are, to get a diagnosis, you’d likely see a clinician familiar with learning disabilities, which might be someone like a speech pathologist or a psychologist, according to the International Dyslexia Association (IDA). They’ll look at your grades and your family history, conduct IQ and reading tests, and ask parents and teachers what they’ve noticed, says Dr. Chase. If you go to a psychologist, they might also assess if you’re dealing with other neurodevelopmental disorders, like ADHD, that can happen at the same time, she says. 

If you’re not sure where to get an eval, you can talk to your school or doctor for a referral or check out the IDA’s provider list, which includes people qualified to diagnose dyslexia, notes Dr. Chase. 

How is dyslexia treated? 

Tutoring can be a really helpful treatment for this condition, says Dr. Chase. Tutoring for dyslexia is a kind of specialized reading instruction (called multisensory structured language education or structured literacy) done by people like teachers, certified academic language therapists, or structured literacy dyslexia specialists, she says.

During these sessions, you’ll learn sounds and how they apply to what you’re seeing on the page, Dr. Chase explains. It may take a few years to get you to a better place and you might still feel like you have to work a little harder to get through a book, but you can definitely improve, she says.  

To find a tutor, no matter what age you are, you can check out the IDA’s list or one from the Center for Effective Reading Instruction. You can also get in contact with your state chapter of Decoding Dyslexia, which is typically up-to-date on resources, or ask a school for learning disabilities in your area if they have recommendations, suggests Dr. Oliver. Most public schools offer dyslexia tutoring as part of their special education programs too, Dr. Chase notes. 

Whether you seek tutoring or not, text-to-speech technology can also make it easier to read or write in everyday life, says Dr. Chase. There are a lot of options to make daily tasks less of a struggle. 

With a learning disability like dyslexia, going to a therapist like you would for anxiety or depression won’t target the information-processing difficulty that tutoring will. But, if your mental health is taking a hit because of your dyslexia, a therapist who’s worked with people who have learning disabilities can help, Dr. Chase says. 

With the right support and workarounds, your dyslexia can get better. Samantha R. had a few years of tutoring through school and went on to get a degree in special education. Now, she works with kids who have autism. “It’s kind of a full-circle thing,” she says. 

The post What’s Dyslexia and Do I Have It? appeared first on Wondermind.

Explainer Link Copied 06.28.23

What Is Inattentive ADHD, and Do I Have It?

Nope, it’s not just TikTok brain. ByKara Cuzzone

You probably have at least some idea of what attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is, whether you know someone who has it or you’ve seen enough on social media to convince yourself that maybe you have it. And the ADHD symptoms that can feel most relatable in 2023 (see: forgetfulness, the attention span of a TikTok, general life chaos) are the ones that come with the type that’s often referred to as inattentive ADHD.

Let’s back up really quick though. In case you missed it, ADHD is “a persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development,” according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR). There are three subtypes of ADHD: predominantly inattentive presentation, predominantly hyperactive-impulsive presentation, or combined presentation. The type of ADHD a person has depends on the symptoms they experience and whether those symptoms generally fall into the inattention category, the hyperactivity/impulsivity category, or both, explains Lidia Zylowska, MD, a psychiatrist with the University of Minnesota Medical School and author of The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD. 

Here, we asked experts to break down what inattentive ADHD is, how to get an accurate diagnosis, the best ways to deal with it, and more. 

One quick thing before we dive into the details: Mental health is complex and everyone has a unique experience, so don’t go diagnosing yourself just because you read a few articles on the internet (though, we do appreciate you stopping by to learn a few things). If this resonates with you, consider it a jumping-off point in your journey to getting care. OK, let’s get into it…

What does it mean to have predominantly inattentive ADHD? 

If your symptoms mostly center around difficulty focusing or staying organized, you could have the predominantly inattentive presentation of ADHD. If you mostly have symptoms like fidgeting or feeling restless, you could be dealing with the predominantly hyperactive-impulsive presentation of ADHD. And, of course, it’s possible you have a mix of both, which would mean you’ve got combined presentation of ADHD.

Predominantly inattentive ADHD is the subtype that tends to get overlooked the most, since symptoms like bad time management, distractibility, and losing things aren’t usually as noticeable to those around you, says Dr. Zylowska. “Kids, teens, and adults with inattentive symptoms are often flying under the radar. They can be seen as a little slower [to learn], messy, and disorganized,” Dr. Zylowska explains. Plus parents or teachers might attribute those symptoms to other issues, she adds. 

That’s especially true for women, who are more likely to have inattentive ADHD than the other kind, says psychiatrist Sasha Hamdani, MD, author of Self-Care for People with ADHD. Women often mask their ADHD symptoms, meaning they hide their differences to help themselves fit into society, but people of all gender identities can engage in masking. That can make inattentive ADHD even harder to detect and diagnose, and it can also lead to additional mental health challenges like anxiety or depression. If you’re walking around with undiagnosed ADHD, it’s easy to feel shame about your symptoms. You might call yourself lazy or blame a lack of willpower for not being able to focus or stay organized, which can lead to major mental health issues, says Dr. Zylowska. 

How is predominantly inattentive ADHD diagnosed? 

To be diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, you have to have at least five symptoms of either inattention or hyperactivity/impulsivity (or at least five from both categories) that are seriously effing with your daily life, explains Dr. Zylowska. A diagnosis of inattentive ADHD requires someone to have five or more of the inattentive symptoms for at least six months, like missing details, making careless mistakes, having trouble sustaining attention, consistently losing things, and avoiding tasks that take sustained mental effort, according to the DSM-5-TR.

But just reading that list and thinking, Yep, that’s me, doesn’t mean you officially have inattentive ADHD. If you think you do though, your next step would be making an appointment with a mental health professional who specializes in ADHD (if you have no idea where to start, your primary care doc can probably refer you to someone). In order to diagnose you, most mental health professionals will want receipts that you have a history of struggling with inattentive symptoms, Dr. Zylowska says. That might mean asking a family member or a friend to talk about what you were like as a child and whether they’ve noticed you showing any symptoms of inattentive ADHD over the years. Those factors combined with at least five current inattentive symptoms will likely result in an inattentive ADHD diagnosis.

How is predominantly inattentive ADHD treated? 

Though researchers aren’t really sure what causes some people to be diagnosed with one type of ADHD versus another, each type can be managed the same way, says Dr. Zylowska. That usually includes medication and working with a therapist to find techniques and create habits to work around your symptoms, adds Dr. Hamdani. For people with the inattentive type, learning effective ways to plan and organize can be super helpful, she adds.

One strategy therapists often use to help people with ADHD cope is to map out how symptoms show up in their lives and come up with strategies that could help mitigate their impact, explains Dr. Hamdani. Let’s say you’re always misplacing your car keys, which makes leaving for work a total pain. A solution could be placing a hook right by the door, and getting into the habit of hanging your keys there every time you come home. Over time, it’ll make that annoying side effect of your ADHD feel like a nonissue. 

Mindfulness strategies can also be really helpful for people with inattentive ADHD because they can teach you to focus your attention, says Dr. Zylowska. That could look like going for a walk and noticing all the sights, sounds, and smells around you. When your mind inevitably wanders, you’ll practice bringing it back to where you are in that moment and what your senses are experiencing, which can help train you to keep coming back to the task at hand no matter what you’re doing.

The bottom line: Predominantly inattentive ADHD might sound like a whole separate condition, but it’s really just a subtype of ADHD. People who have it have mostly inattentive symptoms that make things like focusing, staying organized, and following directions feel tough. If you think you might have this type of ADHD, it’s a good idea to seek out an official diagnosis so you can get answers and start learning how to manage your symptoms.

The post What Is Inattentive ADHD, and Do I Have It? appeared first on Wondermind.

Explainer Link Copied 01.23.23

Hold up, ADHD Is a Disability?

Technically, yes. Here’s what that means for you. ByKara Cuzzone

There’s no question that having ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) can make life super difficult for some people. The symptoms can impact your focus at work, create conflicts with your friends and fam, and maybe make it harder to keep track of time—but is ADHD a disability?

Yep! It sure is. Though there’s no giant list of official disabilities written into law, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), which was created to protect employment opportunities for people who have disabilities, defines a disability as “a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities.” And as a neurodevelopmental disorder that can cause difficulties with inattention, hyperactivity, or some combination of the two, ADHD definitely qualifies, explains Lidia Zylowska, MD, a psychiatrist with the University of Minnesota Medical School and author of The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD. 

People with inattentive symptoms can have trouble focusing or staying organized, while people with hyperactive symptoms typically deal with feeling restless or making impulsive decisions, says Dr. Zylowska. “[ADHD] has an effect on how you function in school, at work, at home, and, for these reasons, it’s comparable to having a physical disability where everything that you do might be more difficult,” she says. 

It’s also true that a lot of people with ADHD prefer not to see it as a disability. And while that’s a valid personal call, there are a lot of reasons why the ADA’s coverage of ADHD is a very helpful thing. For starters, it validates the daily struggles people with ADHD face. “Unfortunately, some people think ADHD is not real or not a disability or not a big deal,” says Sasha Hamdani, MD, psychiatrist and author of Self-Care for People with ADHD. The fact that ADHD is a covered disability under the ADA is just more evidence that the condition can seriously impact people’s lives—especially at work. 

Why does it matter if ADHD is classified as a disability?

Shifting the narrative around ADHD is great, but the ADA’s legal protection is even more beneficial. That’s because the ADA requires that workplaces with 15 employees or more provide people who qualify with “reasonable accommodations” to help them do their jobs as well as people without a disability. 

“[Protection under the ADA] allows people to operate with certain accommodations in place to make their performance equivalent to someone else who [doesn’t] have those challenges,” says Dr. Hamdani. Those benefits, aka accommodations, can range from working from home to extra meetings with a manager—it all depends on what your biggest ADHD-related challenges are. 

Does an ADHD diagnosis mean you automatically get those benefits? 

Unfortunately, nope. In order to qualify for benefits under the ADA, you have to show that your ADHD is causing significant impairment at work. If you’re able to do your job well despite your ADHD, or if your ADHD is well managed with treatment (like therapy and medication), you probably won’t qualify, says Dr. Hamdani.

And, TBH, even if you are eligible for support under the ADA, the process to receive accommodations can be complicated. First, you’ll need a medical letter from a therapist or psychiatrist that shows that you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD and recommends a potential accommodation for you at work, says Dr. Zylowska. In addition, you might be asked to do neuropsychological testing (typically, at your own expense) in order to prove that you’re functioning differently, says Lenard A. Adler, MD, director of the Adult ADHD Program in the Department of Psychiatry at NYU Langone Health. 

The next step is to use what the ADA calls the “interactive process.” Basically, this just means chatting with your employer to decide what kind of setup would be helpful for you and doable for them, explains Dr. Zylowska. Hopefully, you settle on a solution that works for everyone involved. 

But if your employer thinks the accommodation would be too difficult or expensive to implement, it’s considered an “undue hardship” and they don’t have to provide it, according to the ADA. At that point, you might want to think about whether you can take your talents elsewhere. “I think there’s this balancing act between pushing for accommodations versus saying, ‘I need to find another place that really lets me thrive,’” says Dr. Zylowska. 

How can you (informally) ask your boss for help?

Asking for help without invoking the ADA = way less hoops to jump through. Yes, the ADA is a helpful tool—but you don’t always need to use it. Let’s say your ADHD makes procrastination a real struggle. In that case, you could meet with your boss and explain that, in order for you to meet all your deadlines, it’d be helpful to have more frequent check-ins about progress on big projects. That way, you’ll be motivated to get a chunk of work done before each meeting rather than putting the whole thing off until the last minute. With this strategy, you’ll be getting the accommodation you need without even having to explicitly tell anyone you have ADHD, explains Dr. Zylowska. 

If you have no clue what would make your work life easier, think about what’s preventing you from doing your job to the best of your ability, suggests Dr. Hamdani. Then, reflect on what your dream scenario would be to improve the situation. Maybe you can’t concentrate on replying to emails because your desk is right next to the noisy, never-not-busy conference room. In that case, permission to work from home a couple of days a week could be a huge help. 

Once you’ve settled on your ideal situation, approach your boss and explain your ADHD-related challenges (it’s completely up to you if you want to actually share that you have ADHD, though). Tell them that, to do your best work, [insert accommodation here] would be really helpful, says Dr. Hamdani. If your manager isn’t on board, another option is to take it to HR and ask them what a reasonable plan might look like—still, you don’t have to disclose that you have a disability, adds Dr. Zylowska. 

The bottom line: While ADHD is a disability that’s covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act, not everyone who has that diagnosis will qualify for formal assistance. But whether you decide to invoke the ADA or ask your boss for some support on your own, you deserve to have the tools you need to succeed at work. 
And know that if your needs aren’t being met, you totally have options. You can go the legal route and file a charge with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission or find a new job at a company that sees your neurodiversity as the asset it truly is.

The post Hold up, ADHD Is a Disability? appeared first on Wondermind.

Stories Link Copied 01.18.23

12 Things Everyone Should Know About Dating With ADHD

Whether it’s you who has ADHD or your new boo, here’s what’s up. ByCallum Stephen Howes

Listen, dating can be tricky, but there’s a whole other layer that gets added to finding a match when you have attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or you’re dating someone with ADHD. 

ICYMI, ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that has a few different presentations that make life different (and yes, sometimes more difficult) for people who have it. ADHD could impact roughly 5% of people, according to a 2012 meta-analysis of 97 studies on adults and children. So, it may be helpful to know what to expect when talking to the potential suitor(s) of your dreams (I’m manifesting, OK) who may be in that group.

Speaking from personal experience as an ADHDer (as people with ADHD are often affectionately called) and autistic advocate, dating with ADHD can be challenging. That’s not because we’re undateable, but because our behaviors are often misunderstood, our valid differences aren’t usually accommodated and our skills and talents aren’t always recognized or respected. 

There are way too many stereotypes about ADHD to count, and when people hear the term ADHD, they often picture a child—not an adult. If they do picture an adult, some people picture us as Energizer bunnies sprinting laps around a room or always zoning out in a trance-like state. That’s a problem because, when these are the images that pop up in people’s minds, it can be hard for them to envision us ADHDers as complete humans and potential romantic partners. It’s a shame because we’re deserving of love and affection, and we have so much to give in return. 

So to give you a crash course on what it’s really like to date with ADHD, I asked ADHDers to share what they wish everyone knew about how we approach dating and how you can be a stellar date or partner to an ADHDer. (Pro tip: It’s not a bad thing if we get a bit chatty and hyperfocus on you during our first date. We’re sparing you from the awkward silences—you’re welcome.) 

1. We might be late…a lot. 

No matter how much effort we put into time management, it’s still something that a lot of ADHDers can struggle with, as 2019 research on how ADHDers experience time suggests. That’s an issue when you have a date and are expected to arrive on time, Rain D. says. Our fraught relationship with timeliness can result in a lot of tension in relationships since being late is usually seen as rude or a sign that someone doesn’t respect your time. But when it comes to ADHDers, that’s usually not the case. “Me being late doesn’t mean I don’t care,” Sophie J. says. Honestly, the reason we’re late usually has more to do with us genuinely forgetting about our schedule and being completely wrapped up in another task, despite the dozens of reminder apps on our phone and sticky notes all over our homes. 

2. Rejection feels way different for many of us. 

Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is “when you experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected,” according to the Cleveland Clinic. Though it’s not an official diagnosis or medical term, this phenomenon is often discussed in reference to ADHD, and it came up repeatedly among the ADHDers I spoke to about their dating experiences. RSD is incredibly personal and different for each ADHDer, but it’s important to have open, judgment-free convos about what can trigger feelings of rejection and how to work through it in any relationship—especially if one of you has ADHD and may be more prone to these feelings.

3. Don’t mistake forgetfulness for indifference. 

How much we remember about other people is often used as a benchmark for how much we care, so you can see how ADHD-related forgetfulness is often misperceived as a sign that we aren’t interested in someone or that we don’t value them. “Just because I happen to forget one thing doesn’t mean I don’t care,” one anonymous source says. If an ADHDer forgets something, it might be because they are overwhelmed or uncontrollably hyperfocusing on something else, for example. 

4. Our eye contact game might look a little different. 

For most, paying active attention means making consistent eye contact, but in several of my conversations with ADHDers, many of them say they find it easier to pay attention when they don’t make eye contact and instead look away and fidget. (This is often especially true for those of us who are autistic as well. Side note: Some research suggests that signs of autism are not uncommon in people with ADHD.) So not looking at a date isn’t necessarily a sign that we’re not interested, Carly G. says, adding that she wishes future dates wouldn’t make her lack of eye contact such a big deal and focus on what she’s saying instead. If you’re dating an ADHDer, keep in mind that you looking away from them might also help take the pressure off of them, Carly adds.

5. Conversation interruptions can happen.  

Part of the ADHD experience, as many ADHDers tell me, is feeling like some of us might burst if we are highly enthusiastic about a topic and can’t speak about it right away. That might drive us to repeatedly interrupt you, which is super common among younger ADHDers, as a 2000 study on communication and children with ADHD suggests. These types of interruptions can also mean we’re just super nervous—not rude, says Rebecca N. “I can become very talkative and hyperfocus on one topic. It is my way of showing that I care,” says another anonymous ADHDer. So practicing more understanding and kindness when talking to an ADHDer can go a long way. 

6. Inattentiveness doesn’t mean we don’t care. 

Attention deficits are such a big part of ADHD that it’s in the name, yet some still take our inattentiveness personally, believing that it’s a choice and reflects a lack of interest. But, as Megan M. says, “We care even if we aren’t paying attention.” So if you’re dating an ADHDer, remember that a lack of attention doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of care. 

7. We might “overshare.”

ADHD might make some of us occasionally impulsively open up and share too much too soon, Anna V. points out. We may share an exceedingly embarrassing story to make you laugh or voraciously dissect complex family drama before your very eyes because we need to get it off our chest. There are a few reasons why this can happen with some of us, as I’ve learned through speaking with tons of ADHDers in my advocacy. Sometimes it’s because we don’t know how much information you actually need, or we want to bond with you, or our impulsivity has taken over, or we need to fill the silence. So, if our stories are a bit TMI, we promise we are not trying to make you uncomfortable on purpose. 

8. You might think we’re being inconsistent. 

Some people with ADHD experience deficits in our executive function, AKA the brain processes that help us regulate our emotions, motivate us, and perform tasks and prioritize, suggests a 2010 study on adults with ADHD and a 2019 study on children with ADHD. So, when it comes to dating, “sometimes I genuinely can’t do stuff because of burnout. Many don’t understand this,” one anonymous contributor explains. But don’t get it twisted: This doesn’t mean we won’t ever be able to do things with you or pull our weight in the relationship. It just means that we might need to do things on our own timeline. “Sometimes I can’t clean anything for two weeks, but then I’ll deep clean the whole house,” Camille C. adds. 

9. We love clear signals. 

Honestly, who doesn’t? But, as multiple ADHDers shared with me, directness is something ADHDers often admire and sometimes depend upon when dating. When you’re not totally up-front with us, we might completely miss or misread signals when you try to flirt with us. That might be because we can get easily distracted by all the sensory stimuli surrounding us, we tend to take longer to process information, and we may be so hyperfocused on your words and their literal meaning that the context of the interaction and any other signals you are sending evade us. Even if we really like you, your flexing, leaning forward, or sending “good morning” texts might not register as flirting in our minds, and we might not show that the feelings are mutual. “I can’t read signals if my life depended on it. Tell me straight up,” says Michal G. 

If a person you know or believe might have ADHD has caught your eye, directness can help you communicate more clearly—especially if they are autistic as well. Your subtle body language and playful flirtations might be lost on them, but inviting them on a date won’t be. 

10. New relationships can excite and confuse us.

ADHD brains often crave novelty and get lost in the delicious excitement of new things, as a 2018 study affirms. When it comes to dating, we might mistake excitement for romantic feelings, as one anonymous ADHDer says. To help them figure out what it is they’re really feeling for somebody, this anonymous source emphasizes taking things slowly so they can tell if it’s love or hyperfixation. If you slow down a little, this extra time will give us (and maybe even you!) the flexibility to process our feelings and emotions before committing to a relationship. 

11. Patience goes a long way. 

Patience is key when talking to some ADHDers. We “don’t always have the energy to respond to messages quickly,” Elle W. mentions when talking about how online dating is different for ADHDers. And yeah, sure, we might get distracted sometimes. But on a more general level, many members of the community say they’d appreciate patience in all areas of the relationship. “Love and patience [give us] so much room to learn, adapt, and grow,” Christa B. adds. 

12. ADHD is part of who we are. 

A lot of people view ADHD as an experience that comes and goes, but it can be a huge part of an ADHDer’s life. “ADHD isn’t separate from who I am; it’s part of who I am as a person,” Lucy D. says. That means part of dating an ADHDer is accepting and honoring their differences, recognizing ADHD’s role in their life, and working with them to build a truly compatible and loving connection. 

The post 12 Things Everyone Should Know About Dating With ADHD appeared first on Wondermind.

Essay Link Copied 11.30.22

What Travel Is Like for Me as an Autistic Person

I hate to say it, but planning ahead really does work. ByElspeth Wilson

Whether it’s a day trip by bus or a flight abroad, the idea of going somewhere different—no matter the distance—excites me like nothing else. Part of that is probably because I’m autistic, which is another way to say that my brain works differently from the so-called neurotypical majority, especially when it comes to social interactions, communication, sensory processing, and behavioral differences. 

For me, my neurodivergence means I crave newness and get a lot of positive stimulation from being in new places, surrounded by new sights, smells, and the sounds of people speaking in other languages. But traveling as an autistic person isn’t all pure joy. Actually, having autism can make travel particularly daunting—especially when everyone else is traveling too.

Sure, I crave sensory stimulation, but autism and air travel take it way overboard (same for train stations, BTW). No lie: Sometimes when the reality of having to face an airport sets in, I get extremely sick and anxious and debate canceling. Other times, the journey itself can sometimes send “abort mission!” warnings through my mind.

That’s often because the bright lights, endless lines, soundscapes (if you can call it that), unexpected delays, and disruptions are too much—it’s like an information and sensory overload. And the lack of understanding from airport personnel and airlines never helps either. 

Even for neurotypical people, I highly doubt any of these things are pleasant to put up with, but as someone with heightened sensory sensitivity, traveling makes me feel like my brain is taking in too much information at once, tanking my ability to complete basic tasks and sometimes even pushing me into a meltdown. If you have autism, this probably sounds familiar since up to 90% of autistic people experience sensory differences, according to a 2022 review of 25 studies on autism.

How I make air travel easier as an autistic person. 

Airports or any departure station can feel like everything that’s inaccessible and unfriendly comes together in one building and conspires to trigger you. So! Fun! 

And even though the travel industry—and society in general—have a long way to go to become more accessible to neurodivergent people (the load for change shouldn’t be on us!), putting extra effort into my pre-travel routine does help me manage being out of my comfort zone enough to enjoy some casual people-watching while I wait to arrive at my destination. These hacks even give me headspace to be excited so that, when I arrive, I can truly start to have some fun. 

Here’s everything I do to navigate this (sometimes hellish) experience.

Reframe how you think about travel. 

As an autistic person, I know that being flexible can be hard, but accepting that travel will almost never go exactly as planned makes it much easier for me to handle all the chaos. Remembering that we travelers have little control over how the day shakes out actually helps me feel more in control over my mental health throughout the day. 

Catch some Zs.

I’m a late riser, so early morning flights mean my routine—something that’s very important for helping some autistic people like me—can get disrupted and my travel days become more difficult from the get-go. If I don’t get enough sleep beforehand, I can be even more sensitive to noise and other disturbances. 

Take extra steps to be more comfortable. 

Some of my worst travel days happened when I wasn’t as prepared as I could’ve been. Of course, autism is different for everyone, so what works for me might not work for other autistic people, but it’s worth thinking about what usually takes you to your happy (or just content and comfortable) place. 

To combat any potential sensory issues, the first thing I do is plan my travel outfit in advance. I make sure I’m sporting something that has max comfort—hard pants are not in my vocab on travel day—and easily removable layers to adjust to over-air-conditioned or really stuffy planes and trains. 

Sometimes I know when something feels wrong in my body, but I can’t always identify exactly what it is or how to fix it. So I make a conscious effort to be mindful of my temperature by making a note to myself or setting a reminder on my phone to check in with how I’m feeling physically. Otherwise, I find it hard to figure out why I’m uncomfortable or how to fix it if I’m freezing or too toasty (which can make me grumpy). 

To reduce all that overstimulation when I’m en route, I break out my headphones so I can listen to an airplane mode-friendly white noise app or my go-to soothing playlist. Don’t forget: If your headphones block out important announcements, like gate changes, make sure you look up that info on your phone and/or sign up for prompt notifications. This can be super helpful if you struggle with auditory processing too. 

And if wearing paparazzi-proof sunglasses or carrying a fidget spinner makes you feel better, do it! 

Grab some snacks. 

As a neurodivergent person, it’s easy for me to forget about basic needs like eating and drinking water while traveling—kinda like those temperature challenges.

Different eating behaviors, like being put off from food because of its texture, color, or even the brand name, are also common with autism, according to that 2022 review of studies. And because I know I can be choosy about my food (and I’ve never responded well to a setback when I was hangry or thirsty), I bring vegan faves from home. Plus, I do my best to plan mealtimes in advance and set timers for when I should be eating and drinking.

Lean on your travel buds.

If I’m traveling with friends or family, I share the things that I find difficult. Like, I tell them that I can’t chat as we board because I need to put on my headphones to feel safe. When my travel crew gets what I’m dealing with, then I feel less alone and supported if I need help. 

That’s always felt like enough for me, but if you need more or other types of support, some airports and train stations do offer accommodations for autistic people, like familiarization videos and booklets that show you around the space and talk you through the travel process and available assistance. Some also have lanyards you can wear so that the staff knows you have an invisible disability and might need some extra help or understanding. 

Show yourself compassion. 

A huge part of why I sometimes feel sick and anxious before traveling is because I can get down on myself for having these struggles. Instead of forcing yourself to deal with all the stress that comes with traveling, try to accept that you might need certain adjustments and that it’s OK and that you’re doing your best as a neurodivergent person traveling through a neurotypical world.

The post What Travel Is Like for Me as an Autistic Person appeared first on Wondermind.

Explainer Link Copied 09.20.22

Here’s What ADHD Actually Is (and Isn’t)

There’s a lot more to it than what you’ve seen on your FYP. ByKara Cuzzone

If a few hours on TikTok (no judgment) has led you to believe that you definitely have attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), you’re in good company. And if all those videos have you wondering, What is ADHD, anyway? then you’re in the right place.

Despite the barrage of alleged symptoms and signs of ADHD documented on social media, there’s so much more to the diagnosis than getting distracted easily and other incredibly relatable behaviors. ADHD is an actual mental health condition that can impact people’s relationships, how they see themselves, money management, and, of course, things like work and school, says Michelle Frank, PsyD, clinical psychologist and author of A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD. 

On top of those social media myths, referring to distracted or impulsive behavior as “so ADHD,” can make people with a diagnosis feel invalidated or make those without one too embarrassed to seek out help in the first place. To set the record straight, we asked experts to break down what is ADHD, how to get an accurate diagnosis, what the best forms of treatment are, and more. 

One quick thing before we dive into the details: Mental health is complex and everyone has a unique experience, so don’t go diagnosing yourself just because you read a few articles on the internet (though, we do appreciate you stopping by to learn a few things). If this resonates with you, consider it a jumping-off point in your journey to getting care. OK, let’s get into it…

What is ADHD? 

ADHD is “a persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development,” according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR). Basically, this means that people with ADHD have trouble with things like staying on task, feeling restless, or thinking through a decision before acting, and it can be severe enough that it messes with their school, work, or social life.

Within ADHD, there are actually three subtypes: predominantly inattentive presentation, predominantly hyperactive-impulsive presentation, and combined presentation, says Dr. Frank. People with predominantly inattentive presentation typically struggle with concentrating on things like lectures, conversations, or reading; staying organized; and following instructions. On the other hand, people with predominantly hyperactive-impulsive presentation tend to have issues with feeling restless, interrupting others, and sitting still for long periods of time. Combined presentation is exactly what it sounds like—it means you have an equal amount of inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms, per the DSM-5-TR. 

Though it varies a lot, if you have predominantly inattentive symptoms, you might feel like you’re constantly daydreaming and getting lost in your thoughts, so it’s super hard to concentrate. Those with predominantly hyperactive-impulsive symptoms might find themselves making hurried decisions often or feeling restless during long work meetings, says clinical psychologist, J. Faye Dixon, PhD, professor and researcher at the UC Davis MIND Institute. And if you have combined presentation, you could experience all of the above. 

It’s also worth mentioning that ADHD can vary in severity from mild (aka few if any of the symptoms cause minor impairment in social or work settings) to severe (you have many of the symptoms or ones that really get in the way of normal functioning in those scenarios), according to the DSM-5-TR.

There are also some common emotional experiences that people living with ADHD have, says Dr. Frank. Oftentimes she hears statements like “I feel like a failure,” or “I’m too much, but I’m not enough” from her clients. “There’s a lot of shame that comes with living with ADHD because you feel like you’re never able to actualize who you are and what you’re capable of in the world. And that is really painful for folks—on top of the judgment and stigma,” Dr. Frank explains.

How is ADHD diagnosed?

Though ADHD is one of the most frequently diagnosed neurodevelopmental disorders in kids, according to the Centers for Disease Control,  more adults are being diagnosed with this disorder than ever before. In 2016, research suggested that roughly 9.8% of kids in the U.S. between ages 2 and 17 had received an ADHD diagnosis at some point in their life, according to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology. As for U.S. adults, the prevalence as of 2016 was just shy of 1%, per a study published in JAMA Network Open. A more recent study found the global prevalence of adult ADHD was 2.58%, when looking at people who had symptoms since childhood, and 6.76% when looking at adults who didn’t report having symptoms when they were a kid. (That said, in order to get an official diagnosis as a grown, you’ll need to have experienced ADHD symptoms before the age of 12, according to the DSM-5-TR.)

There are a couple of ways you can go about getting a diagnosis. The best option is to seek out a therapist, psychologist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, or psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD, says Dr. Frank. That could be as simple as Googling “ADHD treatment + your area,” but if you’re having trouble finding someone, it could be worth asking your primary care doctor for a referral. Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD), an ADHD-focused nonprofit, also has a professional directory that might be helpful. 

In order to be diagnosed with adult ADHD, your doctor will have to determine if you have at least five symptoms that fall into one of those three ADHD categories, says Dr. Dixon. 

JSYK, it’s not as simple as saying that you sometimes have trouble focusing at work or that you lose your keys a lot. In order to meet the diagnostic criteria, you’ll have to show that these symptoms are negatively impacting your daily life in multiple areas, adds Dr. Frank. Also, as we mentioned above, to be diagnosed with adult ADHD, you have to have experienced symptoms before the age of 12, so health care providers will often consult one of your loved ones to see if you’ve been experiencing these challenges since childhood. 

Doctors may also ask you about your family history. If one of your parents has ADHD, you have a higher chance of being diagnosed than someone who doesn’t, says Dr. Frank. 

How is ADHD treated?

Once you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, treatment typically involves a combination of skills training, therapy, and medication. Skills training is all about learning strategies to help you work around whatever challenges the condition creates for you—like how to manage distractions or feel a little more organized. Sometimes it’s done within talk therapy, but it can also be done with an ADHD coach or in a skills group, says Dr. Frank. 

About talk therapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be very helpful for adults with ADHD, says Dr. Dixon. The popular form of therapy has been shown to help with core ADHD symptoms, emotion regulation, self-esteem, and time management strategies in multiple studies. Beyond finding a therapist who provides CBT, you should also make sure you’re choosing someone who’s worked with clients with ADHD in the past because CBT expertise alone isn’t necessarily enough, says Dr. Frank. 

People with ADHD can also benefit from medication, which is another common part of the treatment plan, Dr. Frank explains. Prescription stimulants like Ritalin or Adderall can help by increasing the brain chemicals that play a big role in thinking and paying attention, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). The other prescription option is non-stimulant medications like Intuniv or Clonidine. Non-stimulants can also help to relieve symptoms, but they take longer to start improving focus and attention and reducing impulsivity, per the NIMH.

Over time, you might also notice that challenges like starting a difficult work assignment or following through with tasks become easier. You might also better navigate the issues that ADHD creates for you, improve your emotional regulation, and learn how to ask for help when you need it, Dr. Frank says. 

The bottom line: There’s so much more to ADHD than what you’ve seen on TikTok. But if reading this made you suspect that you might have the real deal, it’s worth reaching out to a mental health professional to talk through your symptoms so you can get the care that you need.

The post Here’s What ADHD Actually Is (and Isn’t) appeared first on Wondermind.

Explainer Link Copied 09.13.22

What Social Media Gets Wrong About ADHD

Let the myth-busting commence. ByCarina Hsieh

Put a finger down if you’ve seen a video about ADHD, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, on TikTok within the last year/month/day/two minutes. If the hundreds of thousands of likes, millions of views, and thousands of comments on #ADHDTok videos are any indication, you def have. 

Thing is, that content isn’t always legit. In fact, a recent study examining the top 100 videos on TikTok about ADHD found that 52% of them were actually misleading. More! Than! Half! Yes, that means there’s a lot of stuff to filter through if you’re looking for helpful, accurate information about ADHD on the socials. Yikes. 

While these seconds-long clips can make viewers who suspect they have ADHD feel seen, they can also make anyone  feel like they might have ADHD, perpetuate stereotypes, and spread questionable info about the disorder. “TikTok is a great format for providing short, digestible, engaging snippets about ADHD, but it also provides challenges,” says licensed psychologist Andrew Kahn, PsyD, a senior subject matter expert at Understood.org specializing in ADHD.

For example, if you watch a 30-second clip about the symptoms of ADHD but then feel ashamed for having those traits, you might avoid seeking out a diagnosis. Or maybe you think, Hm, this sounds like me, but I’ll just follow this influencer who seems to know a lot about this and take their advice on how to cope. Or you might even come away thinking that a handful of super ubiquitous behaviors are actually “signs” of the disorder.

If you’ve been struggling with symptoms of ADHD and a social post actually leads you to seek a legit, professional diagnosis, that’s great! But you wanna be careful about normalizing self-diagnosis and treatment when that stuff is best left up to a professional, explains Dr. Kahn. “A [professional] diagnosis helps to better understand [learning] differences, seek [school or workplace] accommodations, and the support needed to thrive. That type of intervention isn’t possible on social media,” Dr. Kahn adds. 

Here, with the help of a couple of experts who specialize in ADHD, we’ll break down the biggest things social media gets wrong about the disorder so you know what’s true and what just makes a great video. 

1. Myth: People with ADHD are always impulsive and forgetful.

Are these common symptoms of ADHD? Sure. But they’re not the only ones, explains Dr. Kahn. “These generalities actually minimize what it can be like to have ADHD.” Not every person with ADHD will have these symptoms and the experiences of those with ADHD are far more complex and diverse than what is typically portrayed on social media. 

In fact, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder includes three umbrella categories of the disorder: predominantly inattentive presentation, where it’s hard for someone to stay focused, follow instructions, finish or organize a task, or pay attention to a conversation; predominantly hyperactive-impulsive presentation, in which someone struggles to sit still, wait their turn, or listen to directions; and combined, where people experience both types, according to the CDC. BTW, the way a person’s ADHD presents itself can also change over time.

Besides spreading oversimplified or misleading info about what the disorder looks and feels like, posts that perpetuate the idea that people with ADHD are forgetful and lack self-control reinforce the stereotype that this disorder makes people inefficient and scatterbrained, says Dr. Kahn. And the more a disorder gets a bad rap, the more people might think twice before seeking treatment. “Combatting stigmas around ADHD and other learning differences, especially among marginalized communities, is critical to people getting the support they need,” explains Dr. Kahn. 

2. Myth: Only people with ADHD experience ADHD-like symptoms.

You know those videos where the creator lists things like the inability to focus, feeling overwhelmed in social settings, or being bored at work as signs of ADHD, and you’re like, “Wait, do I have undiagnosed ADHD?” Welp, that’s very much a thing. 

Because a lot of these videos or posts oversimplify what it’s like to live with the disorder, it’s possible a neurotypical person who didn’t get enough sleep or is dealing with relationship issues could assume their struggle to focus is ADHD-related, says clinical psychologist Julie Landry, PsyD. 

Plus, blaming your symptoms on undiagnosed ADHD without identifying their root cause with the help of a doctor is, obviously, not that helpful in the long term. That’s because some symptoms of ADHD can resemble symptoms of other diagnosable mental health disorders like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and more, says Dr. Landry. So, let’s say it all together now, an official diagnosis from a doctor is super important. 

3. Myth: ADHD meds are addictive.

This one is a bit nuanced because certain stimulants commonly used to treat ADHD like Ritalin and Adderall can  be addictive, Dr. Landry notes. While these drugs may have addiction potential, Dr. Kahn says these meds can be used safely if they’re prescribed by a professional and used as instructed. So don’t be freaked out by the anti-ADHD medication hype.

4. Myth: ADHD is not a disability.

ADHD is actually a disability protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act, which means that some people with the disorder can ask for accommodations at work or in school—like a workspace in a quieter part of the office or more time to take a test. Buuuuut, not everyone with ADHD qualifies for those benefits under the law, Dr. Landry explains. It all depends on how much your symptoms disrupt or impact your ability to function. 

So when ~experts~ on social (read: not actual mental health professionals) preach that ADHD isn’t a disability and can be overcome with a few coping skills and organizational tricks, they’re not telling the whole truth. And for those with ADHD symptoms that literally keep them from accomplishing everyday tasks, that message can be pretty disheartening. 

5. Myth: ADHD is caused by all this pesky technology. 

You’ve probably heard someone casually drop that the internet of it all has made anyone with a smartphone qualify for an ADHD diagnosis. But that’s not true. One study from 2018 suggested that there’s a correlation between how often teens used their smartphones and their self-reported ADHD symptoms, but those kids were never assessed for ADHD by a doctor. Plus, it’s possible that kids who were more distractible were just on their phones more often—rather than their phones making them more distractible. 

Anyway, researchers aren’t sure what causes ADHD, but a family history of the disorder could definitely play a role, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). People with other mental health issues, like anxiety or depression, may also be more likely to have ADHD, per the NIMH.

6. Myth: ADHD is something to harness—not to treat.

It may be helpful to reframe some of your ADHD symptoms as potentially positive things that make you, you, but it’s also important to delineate personality quirks from symptoms of a disorder. “ADHD is considered a chronic and debilitating disorder and is known to impact the individual in academic and professional achievements, interpersonal relationships, and daily functioning,” Dr. Landry explains.

That’s not to say that a diagnosis is something to be scared of. But if thinking of ADHD as your superpower makes you want to forgo treatment, you could end up making your life harder than it needs to be. 

And spreading the idea that people with ADHD have an advantage over neurotypical people can be harmful too. ADHD is, ultimately, a neurodevelopmental disorder, as Dr. Landry points out. 

The post What Social Media Gets Wrong About ADHD appeared first on Wondermind.