Pro Tips Link Copied 02.25.25

Here’s How to Do a Body Scan Meditation to Calm Down

The emotional x-ray you didn’t know you needed. ByAmy Marturana Winderl

When times get tough, the tough get mindful. (That’s the saying, right??) While mindfulness isn’t the solution to all of life’s problems, it can be a useful tool for getting through the tough stuff. And one of the grounding tactics that mental health pros often suggest is the simple yet powerful body scan. 

A body scan is exactly what it sounds like: a mindfulness exercise that involves tuning into each part of your body, one by one. That might look like lying down and focusing on the top of your head, noticing sensations like tension or tingling. Then, you’ll move on to your forehead, eyes, ears, jaw, etc. until you’ve gone through your whole body. As you scan each part of your meat suit, the goal is not to judge your bodily functions or sensations. The point is to stay focused on how you physically feel so you can maybe (hopefully) get out of your head a little.

This process can help you focus on the present moment, says licensed clinical psychologist Nina Polyné, PsyD, Wondermind Advisory Committee member. That can be hugely beneficial for calming racing thoughts. That’s great for someone dealing with anxiety, overwhelm, stress, or worry (so like every single one of us), Dr. Polyné explains. 

The same goes if you’re feeling down, sad, or depressed. “Most people who have anxiety are focused on the future; with depression, you may be focused on shame or guilt from the past,” Dr. Polyné says. Because a body scan means honing in on how different parts of your body feel now, you can get out of your head and into the present moment—which is often helpful for a racing brain that can’t stop, won’t stop. When you’re grounded and focused on this moment, it’s easier to figure out the next steps, she adds. 

There are lots of versions of this mindfulness practice out there. For example, progressive muscle relaxation (PMR), where you tense and release each muscle group one at a time, can also help you hone in on your physical body and the present moment. But you don’t have to flex to get the mindfulness benefits of a body scan. Any exercise that requires you to shift your focus from one area to the next as you breathe mindfully can soothe racing thoughts, Dr. Polyné explains. So if it’s easier or less stressful for you to focus on watching leaves float by on a stream, for instance, then go with that! 

Here, Dr. Polyné explains exactly how to do a body scan the next time you need to find some calm in the chaos.

1. Find a safe space.

You may be wondering where to do this type of exercise. And that’s a fair question. While you can get into it pretty much anywhere, a space that feels relaxing, safe, and comfortable is ideal—especially if you want to close your eyes.

If you’re better with your eyes open, that’s cool! You can do this exercise at work or another public space by focusing on an object in the room with a soft, relaxed gaze, says Dr. Polyné.

2. Focus on your breath first.

OK, you’ll get to scanning your bod in a sec. But, for maximum chill, it’s very helpful to start this process by zooming in on your breath, explains Dr. Polyné.

The gist: Slowly breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Take as many breaths as you need to get into a calm, regular rhythm. From there, you may start to feel more centered and present.

Keep in mind: distractions can and will happen. As you get settled, it’s common for your brain to space out, says Dr. Polyné. When that happens, just remind yourself that it’s normal (because it is) and let those thoughts pass without judgment. Circle back to your breath and try to make it your main focus. 

3. Begin scanning your body, starting with your toes.

It is time. You can start a body scan from either the top of your body (your head) or the bottom (your feet) and then move up or down—whichever direction feels right to you. But, for this example, we’re starting at your toes. 

Notice any sensations that arise: Do your toes feel tense, relaxed, or tight? Are they warm, cold, or sweaty? As you assess that area, imagine breathing through the sensation. When you inhale, think of the breath traveling to that part of your body. You can imagine it relieving the tension or cooling the area, she explains. Then, slowly shift your focus to your whole foot, then your calves, thighs, bum, pelvis, stomach—you get the idea. Whatever you do, don’t rush the process. Try getting in a few good, deep breaths at each body part. 

4. Feel whatever feelings arise.

Don’t be surprised if some feelings bubble up as you scan, says Dr. Polyné. Maybe you sense into your belly and feel heat and then grief or sadness. It’s OK if you’re caught off guard, but don’t dismiss the emotion. Instead, lean in and let it flow—whatever that looks like for you.

If this is the first time in a while that you’ve tuned into your physical and emotional feels, that can be intense. When you notice your feelings and accept them without judgment, it can keep them from sneaking up on you at less convenient times. Whether we like it or not, we can’t eliminate our feelings, says Dr. Polyné. They’re just part of being a person.

5. Slowly bring yourself back to the present moment.

After you’ve breathed, scanned, and felt your feelings, you’re ready to come back to wherever you left off. Open your eyes, look around the room, and shift your awareness from your body to your environment. Your breath should stay steady as you stand up (take it easy, champ).

If you’re up for it, journaling about your experience can help you make the most of it, says Dr. Polyné. You can log what sensations or emotions came up and how you felt overall during the scan. If there were feelings in certain parts of your body that brought up big emotions, take note of those too. For extra credit, jot down what you felt like before your body scan and after. That might encourage you to keep it up.

6. Make it a thing.

As with all mindfulness techniques, body scans work best when you practice them regularly. Meaning, one session likely won’t change your life. But, by making it a practice (as in three-ish times a week), you’ll likely find that you get more out of the experience. You might even start looking forward to them. Over time, the ability to accept tough stuff, brush off intrusive thoughts, and move through emotions can become so much easier.

The post Here’s How to Do a Body Scan Meditation to Calm Down appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 12.17.24

12 Ways to Calm Down Fast

None of which include being told to relax. BySam Brodsky

Calling all unchill people: If you’re reading this, you’re probably either currently freaking out or you’re anticipating your next freakout. Maybe your flight just got canceled, your boss called you in for an impromptu meeting, or you’re beyond overwhelmed with something/everything going on in your life. Whatever it is, you can’t deal with one more person telling you to “calm down” unless they’re literally going to lay out the steps for how to calm down! 

We got you. Here, we asked therapists for their go-to ways to calm down fast—no matter what’s contributing to your frenzied state. Don’t forget to bookmark this for the next time things get weird. 

1. Try a breathing exercise.

When you’re overwhelmed, your brain basically tells your body that you’re in danger, flipping on your fight-or-flight response, says licensed psychologist Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD. That makes your heart beat faster, your breath quicken, and your muscles tense up. But taking deep breaths activates your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your nervous system that controls the “rest-and-digest” response. That system tells your body, It’s OK, you can rest now. You are safe, Dr. Rubenstein explains. 

To get chill, place your hands on your stomach. Inhale for three to seven seconds, feeling the air inflate your belly like a balloon. Then, exhale for five to eight seconds, feeling your stomach deflate, Dr. Rubenstein says. If that technique isn’t for you, licensed clinical psychologist Nicole Hayes, PhD, suggests box breathing: inhaling for four, holding for four, exhaling for four, and holding for another four. 

2. Use your senses.

Focusing on the present moment (aka grounding) helps you get out of your head and away from your racing thoughts, says Dr. Rubenstein. One way to do that is to use your senses—sight, touch, taste, hearing, smell—to connect with what’s around you. That interrupts your overwhelm, she explains. 

Therapist Maureen Gaffney, LCSW, likes the 5-4-3-2-1 method, where you pinpoint five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. But if you don’t want to engage all  of your senses, pick one. For example, try to find all of the red things near you, Dr. Rubenstein says. Or, focus on the sound of calming music or the feeling of the ground beneath your feet, she notes.

3. Loosen up.

Sure, this won’t magically finish your to-do list or get your boss off your back. That said, shaking off any overwhelm-induced physical tension can help you mentally calm down too, explains Dr. Hayes.

Progressive muscle relaxation is a good do-anywhere move, Dr. Hayes says. Starting from your head and working your way through the rest of your body, tense the muscles in your face, neck, shoulders, etc. for a few seconds before releasing them. You’ll notice that they feel a lot less bunched up than when you started. 

If that’s not your thing, go on a slow walk or stretch, Dr. Hayes suggests. Bonus points if you get out of the space where you first felt overwhelmed so you can better focus on the feel-good vibes, she notes.

4. Express yourself.

When you keep everything inside, your emotions can pile up and lead to overwhelm—even if your life is relatively chill right now. But when you write your feelings out, it lightens the load, says Gaffney.  

Sometimes it’s hard to hit pause and express yourself when your heart is racing, your muscles are tense, and you’re feeling underwater, notes Gaffney. If that’s the case, try some of the techniques above to calm down. 

Once you’re physically a little calmer, just free-write whatever comes to mind, Gaffney suggests. Or, if you like prompts, try: What would your life look like if you weren’t overwhelmed, and how does that compare with how your life looks now? This enables you to create a path out of overwhelm, she says. 

If you’re not into journaling, you can talk out your emotions with others or find a creative way to express them, says Gaffney.  

5. Butterfly tap it out.

Another self-soothing exercise that can help counter your fight-or-flight response by triggering the parasympathetic nervous system is a technique called the butterfly hug, explains Dr. Rubenstein.

Cross your arms and place each hand underneath your collarbone or right at your shoulders. Slowly alternate tapping one hand against your chest and then the other. Repeat this until you notice your body and mind transitioning from stressed to relaxed, Dr. Rubenstein says. 

6. Revise your to-do list.

When everything seems urgent, it’s easy to freeze up or try to just barrel through as much as you can without stopping. Both are super unhelpful, TBH. Instead, try triaging your tasks to stress less. 

To sort through the chaos and encourage time management, write down everything you want or have to do, Gaffney says. Seriously, dump it all on a page. Then, arrange your list in order of importance. What needs to get done today because of a deadline or some other big consequence? What has to happen but could wait until tomorrow or later on? Once you’re done with the must-dos, think about what doesn’t need  to happen. What is actually not a priority right now? What’s something you can delegate to someone else or say no to?

7. Take a shower.

Showering is another simple way to practice grounding. You can concentrate on the smells of your soaps and the feeling of the water instead of what’s in your head, says Dr. Hayes. Also, it forces you to disconnect from things that might be stressing you out, like work emails or social media, she says. 

If the idea of taking a break to shower causes more stress, use that time to think through whatever’s going on, says Dr. Hayes. That way, you have your mini vacation from the overwhelm, but you’re regaining a small sense of control too. 

8. Split up big tasks into smaller actions.

Breaking up things that feel extra intimidating helps you see that you don’t have to do it all at once, says Gaffney. Say you have a paper due next week. Start with an outline today. Then, spend a couple of hours over the next few days writing it. Or, instead of penning all 100 of your wedding thank you cards in one go, tackle them over the span of four weekends, doing 25 each time.

9. Find a tiny win.

Gaining some momentum may also help us overcome overwhelm. Doing one small chore, even if it’s unrelated to what’s overwhelming you, can prove that you’re totally capable of more, says Gaffney. It gets the ball rolling before you move on to that looming concern. 

For example, making your bed, folding a pile of laundry, or just doing something  gets you unstuck and moving, Gaffney explains. And when you’re in a better mindset, you can accomplish a harder task.

10. Invite someone over.

We don’t know if you’ve heard, but having a friend, roommate, or partner present while you do an overwhelming thing can help you stay motivated. This is called body doubling, says Dr. Hayes. When someone is there to witness your work and hold you accountable as you do your taxes or clean the garage, you’re more likely to get it done, she notes.

11. Pinpoint what you can and can’t control. 

Oftentimes, we’re overwhelmed by hypotheticals or things we literally can’t control, says Gaffney. Thank you, anxiety! You may not even know you’re spending energy on problems you can’t solve until you see them written down, she notes.

To check yourself, make a list of what feels overwhelming to you right now, Gaffney suggests. Perhaps you’re all up in your head about your sick dog. You’re worried about the vet bill, poop on the floor, and the illness getting worse. Then, decide which of these are in your control and which aren’t. 

That process of elimination can help you sort through the stuff that’s not worth worrying about and what is. So, you can clean up after your dog, cuddle them, and look into pet insurance if necessary, but you can’t  predict how their sickness will pan out by scrolling Dr. Google. 

12. Upgrade your internal dialogue.

You might feel better about handling an overload of emotion or to-dos when you change critical self-talk to commentary with self-compassion, says Dr. Rubenstein. She suggests validating statements like, This is hard, or, I’m here for myself, instead of, What’s wrong with me?! Anything you’d say to a friend is fair game. 

And if it feels weird to say something nice like this, you can write it down, Dr. Rubenstein says. Whatever you do, just try to shift from mean inner dialogue to a kinder one.

The post 12 Ways to Calm Down Fast appeared first on Wondermind.

Highly Recommend Link Copied 12.06.24

27 Self-Care Gifts for Anyone on the Verge of Burnout

Sometimes adding to cart is the best way to show up for someone. BySam Brodsky

We all know someone who is really going through it. And, if you’ve been there, you’re very aware that hearing, “Just relax and take care of yourself!” is wildly unhelpful. A less annoying and more useful approach: sending over a thoughtful present that might actually help them incorporate TLC into their chaotic life. Enter: self-care gifts.

Self-care can be a lot of things: drinking enough water, getting outside, calling your people when you need them. But it doesn’t always have to be so basic. ICYMI, self-care is any activity that provides “a protective buffer against stress,” therapist Siobhan D. Flowers, PhD, LPC-S, previously told Wondermind. Those little habits enable you to handle setbacks and overwhelm more easily. In this moment of chaos, we could all use that superpower. 

Whether you’re shopping for a stressed friend or your frazzled self (’tis the season!), we found some of the best self-care gifts for decompressing, easing anxiety, and creating moments of calm.

The post 27 Self-Care Gifts for Anyone on the Verge of Burnout appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 09.17.24

12 Life Hacks for Anyone Who’s Always Distracted

Go ahead! Reward yourself for paying attention! BySam Brodsky

We’ve all been there. You sit down to check your embarrassingly full inbox and, within seconds, you get distracted. Your coworker sends you a funny TikTok, which turns into you scrolling for five (OK, 30) minutes. You finally get back to your inbox, only to remember the doctor’s appointment you have in less than 24 hours—and what better time than the present to fill out that pre-visit paperwork? Of course they need your emergency contact info, so you open up your phone to grab a number and see a text from your friend. Another half hour goes by before you remember what you were supposed to be doing. 

Not being able to focus on the task in front of you is super frustrating and highly relatable. Case in point: I literally wrote this intro halfway through a workout when I (you guessed it) got distracted! So, let’s discuss why you might be getting so distracted, how lack of focus can impact your mental health, and what you can do about it.

Here’s why you’re getting distracted.

You might have trouble focusing for lots of different reasons. The obvious ones are external distractions, like constant phone notifications or your neighbor’s loud music, and internal distractions such as stress spirals that can make it hard to concentrate, says licensed clinical psychologist Jessica Stern, PhD, a member of the Wondermind Advisory Committee. And having certain mental health conditions like anxiety or ADHD can make it even harder to ignore distracting sounds, smells, and thoughts, says licensed clinical psychologist Abigail Levrini, PhD, author of Succeeding with Adult ADHD. 

When it comes to ADHD, people with this diagnosis usually have issues with executive functioning skills—staying organized, time management, and decision-making (hello, ADHD paralysis), Dr. Levrini explains. “Think of an ADHD brain as a really sleepy CEO who can barely keep her eyes open to do the work,” she says. This can make it difficult to focus.

And with anxiety disorders (and anxiety in general), you’re all up in your head. It’s hard to pay attention to a work project or tune in to a convo when you’re ruminating about the past or catastrophizing about the future, explains Dr. Stern. Your worries might be distracting you, or you may not be able to focus because  you’re too tired from worrying, she adds.

You can also get easily distracted if you have other mental health conditions like depression or bipolar disorder, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR). 

Diagnoses aside, you can just get distracted because there are a million things fighting for your attention at any given time. And, sometimes, we get in our own way. We distract ourselves  when we feel overwhelmed, stressed, or bored, finding other things to do or think about to avoid uncomfortable emotions, says Dr. Stern. Taking on too much at once and not sleeping enough can hurt our focus too, says licensed psychologist Carey Heller, PsyD, who specializes in treating ADHD and problems with executive functioning.

No matter why you’re getting distracted, focus issues really suck and can make you feel embarrassed, inadequate, and disconnected. It can also lead to miscommunication, which can affect your relationships big time. All of this is to say that it makes sense if you want to do something about how often you are distracted. (I’m probably bookmarking this article for myself!) 

How to deal when you’re distracted. 

Outside of seeing a professional—like a doctor for your sleep issues or a mental health pro who can help you manage anxiety or ADHD with coping skills and/or meds—there are things you can do on your own. Here are some simple ways you can be better at dealing with distractions and get focused faster. 

1. Reduce external distractions. 

This might seem like a no-brainer, but a somewhat easy thing to do when you can’t focus is to eliminate distractions to the best of your ability, says Dr. Stern. If your phone is flooded with texts, put it on silent or hide it across the room. If you have too many tabs open, close them. If people are being loud, move somewhere else, put on headphones, or ask them  to GTFO. Whatever’s standing in your way of concentrating is fair game.

2. Pull out some coping skills for whatever’s bugging you.

If the distraction is a little more complex, like you’re caught up in your worries, then reducing your anxiety in the moment can help you focus, says Dr. Stern. You can do different things to manage your anxiety, but Dr. Stern suggests going for a walk, listening to music you love, and writing down your thoughts on paper. Basically, do anything that’s going to be self-soothing or an outlet for your emotions, she says.

3. Do the thing you can’t stop thinking about. 

Let’s say you’re in the middle of an assignment and all you can think about is calling your insurance company. In that situation, pausing to make the call (if you can realistically step away from what you’re doing) might actually help you come back more focused. “If something’s eating away at you and you have the ability to just take care of it and then not have to worry about it … it’s probably worth getting it out of the way,” notes Dr. Heller. It’s going to relieve some of the anxiety you were distracted by in the first place. 

4. Make a list. 

Have you ever been so overwhelmed by what you have to do that you just can’t start anything? Or, you feel stuck not really knowing where  to start? Making any type of to-do list (on paper or in your Notes app) can help you focus because it organizes your tasks, says Dr. Heller. Here are some to-do list structures that Dr. Heller suggests when you’re trying to plan out your day. Try one, combine two, or do whatever works for you: 

• Write out a task with specific times you’re going to do each thing
• Order your list by what’s most important to get done
• Separate your list into things that require the most and the least amount of energy 
• Put some small tasks first so that you can build up momentum for the bigger stuff
• Break up big tasks on your to-do list into smaller parts so they seem more manageable

5. Find your motivation. 

Sometimes we’re easily distracted because we literally do not care about the task at hand. And while it might seem hard to find a deeper motivation for going through your inbox or paying your bills, Dr. Heller explains that focusing on why  you’re doing this thing can give you the push you need to keep going. Responding to emails keeps you organized and in the loop! Taking care of bills makes you responsible and free of late fees!

Another way to unearth your motivation from the depths of boredom—and resist distractions—is promising yourself a reward for paying attention, Dr. Heller says. So, maybe you vow to watch an episode of Selling Sunset  or play Wordle after you do homework or write thank-you cards you’ve been avoiding for weeks.

6. Ground yourself. 

When you can’t concentrate on a report because your phone’s sucking you in or you’re caught up in your thoughts, a grounding exercise can bring you into the present moment, says Dr. Levrini. Use it as a reset to help you transition from what’s distracting you to what you should be focusing on. There are tons of different grounding or mindfulness exercises to choose from, but here are three that Dr. Levrini suggests when you’re distracted: 

• 5-4-3-2-1: Name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
• Categories: Pick categories (like movies, animals, and colors) and list as many items as you can in them.
• Muscle relaxation: Focus on tightening your fists, your shoulders, or other muscles for 10 seconds, then unclench for 10 seconds. Pay attention to how it feels to clench and release. 

7. Take breaks.

For anything that requires a lot of brain power, breaking up that task into designated work sessions with scheduled breaks in between can help you focus more easily because you aren’t as burnt out, says Dr. Heller. One popular method is repeating 25 minutes of work followed by a five-minute break, called the Pomodoro method. But Dr. Heller says you can choose any structure where you’re doing work in chunks and taking phone, meditation, or walk breaks to help you pay better attention. 

8. Take notes.

If you find your mind wandering to Chappell Roan lyrics in the middle of a meeting, taking notes can help. This one might sound pretty obvious, but writing stuff down automatically means you’ll have to pay closer attention to what’s being said. “You’re actively processing the information you’re receiving in the moment,” explains Dr. Heller. 

You can also take ~mental~ notes if you struggle to focus in settings where it would be weird to whip out a pen and paper. Just imagining that you’d want to remember the conversation or be able to summarize it later can help you focus better, adds Dr. Heller. 

9. Set work and relaxation boundaries.

Feeling your focus slowly leave your body while working from bed or the couch is too real. All you can think about is that TV in the corner or the comfy pillows calling your name. Enter: designated work spaces that train your brain to recognize when it’s time to focus, says Dr. Heller. 

You don’t necessarily need to have an office set-up in another room—that’s not realistic for plenty of people. You can have a special chair or space when you’re doing assignments or taking meetings vs. watching shows and napping, Dr. Heller notes. Try it out, and see if setting this boundary helps. 

10. Have designated text and email time.

I don’t know about you, but having so much to check throughout the day—texts, calls, emails—can make me feel like my mind is going in a hundred different directions. Even if you’re not responding, seeing those things come through pulls your focus away from what you’re doing and also leaves you quietly thinking about how you’ll reply later, says Dr. Heller. So, if silencing notifications isn’t enough for you, you can have set times throughout the day where you know you’ll dedicate 10, 15, or however many minutes to your phone or email, he says. You might feel less anxious doing other stuff knowing that tech time is coming up. 

11. Just start the hard thing.

Have you ever pivoted hard when you sat down to do something and it felt way too intimidating or overwhelming? In a scenario like this, tackling a tiny bit of your task can help you see that you can actually get it done. Do whatever part of it feels like low-hanging fruit, says Dr. Stern. If you have a paper to write, for example, type out ideas in bullet points to get your mind going, she notes. Or, maybe flag a few design ideas before you start making online baby shower invites for a friend. “Once you have taken that [first] step, it can be much easier to keep going,” agrees Dr. Levrini. 

12. Do one thing at a time.

If focusing your attention on too many things stresses you out, you aren’t alone. Sure, sometimes multitasking helps with time management, but it can also make you feel scatter-brained. “A good multitasker is just someone who is able to switch their attention back and forth to different things very quickly and efficiently,” notes Dr. Levrini. That said, it can be hard for a lot of people, especially those with ADHD, to toggle between tasks and regain focus, she explains. They waste time pivoting when they could be zooming in on what they’re trying to do. If you struggle with this, creating blocks of time for just one assignment or chore can help you get stuff done and concentrate, she says.  

The post 12 Life Hacks for Anyone Who’s Always Distracted appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 08.21.24

Triggered? Here’s How to Deal

911, what’s your emergency? BySam Brodsky

In the year 2024, the internet has had its way with the term triggered. It’s well-traveled territory for mental health TikTok and has been memed to the point of losing all meaning. Alas!

But this term is one mental health pros and the psychological community at large (including the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM-5-TR) have used to describe people, places, or situations that remind you of traumatic moments you’d rather forget and/or spark all kinds of mental health symptoms.

Whether you were already well-versed in all of that or not, here we asked therapists for more intel on what triggers are and what to do when they arrive.

What are triggers?

Generally speaking, a trigger is a “stimulus that elicits a reaction,” according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Like we said, these can be people, places, things, or situations that set off unhappy memories or emotional responses. 

Sometimes the call is coming from inside the house, meaning those triggers are internal thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations. For example, your heart pounding during a workout could bring you back to a time when you were scared for your life, says trauma psychologist Ayli Carrero Pinedo, PhD. 

Other times, things in your environment—a song, a smell, or the way someone looks—can be external triggers, reminding you of a traumatic event and/or causing an emotional reaction, like anxiety, panic, and depression, says clinical and forensic psychologist Dawn Hughes, PhD. Same goes for holidays or anniversaries, adds Dr. Carrero Pinedo.

Whether the trigger’s within you or around you, sometimes you can’t identify it in the moment, says Dr. Hughes. All you know is that you feel out of control.  

When we’re triggered, we feel intense and overwhelming emotions, memories, or physical feelings or we react impulsively, says clinical psychologist Abigail Percifield, PsyD. Though you might name-drop it casually with something like, “This botched salad order is triggering my trust issues,” that’s not quite right. “I see the term triggered being misused to describe when somebody is feeling bothered or uncomfortable,” Dr. Carrero Pinedo explains. But if you don’t feel overwhelmingly bad or out of control, it’s not the same as being triggered, she adds. 

That said, pretty much anyone can be triggered. You don’t need to experience trauma or have a mental health condition to be set off by something inside of or around you. Your neighbors loudly fighting can make you feel overwhelmingly anxious for no apparent reason. The weeks leading up to Father’s Day could make you feel depressed. A scene in a book could flood you with memories that make it hard to concentrate.

Still, if you have a mental health condition or survived something traumatic, you might be more likely to face triggers, says Dr. Percifield. For instance, someone dealing with a substance use disorder might feel triggered at a stressful family reunion and crave a drink, she says. Someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) might be triggered by an intrusive thought about germs in their apartment and feel the uncontrollable need to wash their hands, says Dr. Carrero Pinedo. And people with post-traumatic stress disorder could feel triggered when something reminds them of a traumatic moment, says Dr. Hughes.

How to deal when you’re triggered.

No matter your situation, here’s what to do when those triggers infiltrate your life so you can feel better and move on faster. 

1. Acknowledge that your feelings aren’t facts.

When you’re triggered, you can feel like you’re in danger just sitting in your living room. Triggers are fun like that. So telling yourself that you’re being triggered but you’re still safe can disarm whatever’s freaking you out, says Dr. Hughes. 

You’re basically telling the panicked part of yourself that things are actually OK; you’re just going through a tough moment right now, and it will pass soon. That might even help those feelings resolve. You’re also gaining a sense of control when you feel very out of  control. 

2. Ground yourself. 

Once you’ve consciously established that the situation you’re in isn’t as dire as it feels, you can start to turn your attention to the present moment. “When you’re focusing on something else besides the trigger, you’re decreasing the initial overwhelming response that you had,” Dr. Carrero Pinedo explains. That reinforces the idea that you’re gonna be fine, even if you’re panicked (or whatever you’re feeling) right now.

To get more present amidst a freakout, turn to anything that feels soothing. You could quietly repeat, “I am safe,” to yourself; name the current day of the week or year; or put on some hand cream that smells good, suggests Dr. Hughes.  

There’s also the trusty 5-4-3-2-1 method, where you name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Mindfulness exercises like this put the spotlight on your senses, which helps you shift out of your head, says Dr. Carrero Pinedo. 

3. Move around. 

If you find that being triggered makes you feel physically frozen or stuck, doing the opposite can remind you that it’s safe, says Dr. Hughes. By rebelling against what your triggered brain wants, you might be able to shake off that response. You’re sending the message that you’re in control; your fears are not.

It could be as simple as wiggling your toes and fingers or walking to the bathroom, Dr. Hughes says. Do whatever feels easiest and build from there to snap out of it. 

4. Detach from your thoughts.

Sometimes when you’re triggered, you get stuck in your thoughts, says Dr. Percifield. You might catastrophize about all the things that could go wrong in the future or get caught up in a traumatic memory. 

When that happens, the first step is to ask yourself, “Are these thoughts telling me anything useful or important right now?” says Dr. Percifield. The answer is often no. That little step starts to create some distance between you and the mental chatter that’s upsetting you. That takes the power away from those ideas, making you feel less bothered by them.

Of course, that’s not the only way to get some space from the stuff bubbling up in your head. Here are some other strategies that can help you detach from your unhelpful thoughts, according Dr. Percifield:

• Imagine your thoughts passing by as leaves on a stream, words on a news screen, drifting clouds, or floats in a parade 
• Describe the thought, like, “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough”
• Sing your internal dialogue
• Write the ideas on paper and re-read them as an objective outsider
• Visualize putting your thoughts into a container

A quick aside: If you’re finding it hard to separate yourself from your thoughts like this, it might just mean you’re too overwhelmed and grounding techniques (like some of the ones above) might work better in the moment, Dr. Percifield notes.

5. Hold yourself accountable. 

Because being triggered is overwhelming (and we’re only human), we can react in ways that we might regret later. Maybe you snap at your coworker, throw your phone across the room, or make a scene at Starbucks. That can lead to feeling ashamed, which sets off a cycle of more negative emotions, says Dr. Percifield. And that’s not ideal when you’re already feeling a lot of uncomfortable stuff.

But, if you take accountability for what you did when you were triggered, you might be able to move forward faster and use new coping skills down the line. “It also fosters a sense of personal agency, acknowledging that, even when we’re triggered, we still have the power to make choices about how we respond,” Dr. Percifield explains. 

So, if you acted out, apologize, Dr. Percifield suggests. If you relapse, call someone who’s supporting your sobriety, she adds. Whatever you gotta do to repair the harm done and grow from the experience is fair game, she says.

6. Work with a therapist. 

It might be obvious, but being triggered can impact how you function in your daily life. Maybe you can’t concentrate at work, you’re sleeping like shit, your reactions are harmful to yourself or others, or your mental health has been tanking for a long time. Any of that can really mess with your day-to-day. If you can relate, that’s a sign you’d benefit from working with a mental health professional, says Dr. Carrero Pinedo. 

There are lots of different ways a therapist can help you manage your symptoms and develop coping skills to get by when stuff goes down, but that will depend on what you’re dealing with. 

For example, if you have OCD, exposure and response prevention (a kind of exposure therapy) triggers your compulsions with the guidance of a mental health pro. Then, they’ll help you find new ways to manage those urges, explains Dr. Carrero Pinedo. This can help you slowly get used to your triggers and respond differently. 

If you’re experiencing triggers related to something traumatic, trauma therapy, like EMDR or narrative therapy, might be useful, says Dr. Hughes. These modalities can heal your trauma, ultimately eliminating triggers over time, notes Dr. Percifield. 

At the end of the day, “you are worthy of a nervous system that is calm and that is going to allow you to thrive,” assures Dr. Carrero Pinedo.

The post Triggered? Here’s How to Deal appeared first on Wondermind.

Pro Tips Link Copied 06.05.24

How to Finally Stop Catastrophizing

Ever think a minor headache is a tumor? BySam Brodsky

Any sign of turbulence means your plane is going down. Your boss sighed at you, so you’re bound to get a call from HR. Your headache is…wayyyy  more than a headache. Welcome to catastrophizing 101, folks.

In case you didn’t know, catastrophizing is when your brain jumps to the worst possible outcome in any situation, says psychotherapist Gianna LaLota, LMHC, clinician at NYC Cognitive Therapy. It’s a type of cognitive distortion, or a faulty line of thinking, that can happen to the best of us. Seriously—anyone can catastrophize, but you may be more prone to this if you have an anxiety disorder or depression, says LaLota. 

We all have intrusive thoughts sometimes, but catastrophizing takes this a step further by assuming the worst-case scenario will  happen and causing you to ruminate over that, says psychotherapist Kristen Jacobsen, LCPC. Plus, catastrophizing is usually rooted in things that are pretty legit. Like, maybe you’re jumping to conclusions because of past experiences where things went wrong, LaLota says. Or, maybe your mind is interpreting anxiety or fear as evidence that you’re in actual danger, she adds. Take turbulence, for example. Feeling scared as your plane bounces can trick your brain into thinking that a crash is inevitable, LaLota explains. 

Catastrophizing is also your mind’s way of trying to get ahead of a bad outcome by preparing you for the hard feelings that come with it, like disappointment or even more anxiety, says Jacobsen. For instance, spending the entire week before a trip worrying about the airline losing your luggage and convincing yourself that that’s productive because, hey, it could  happen!

Despite what anxiety would have you believe, worrying about the future won’t actually change the outcome, but it will almost definitely ruin the present. Catastrophic thinking can, unfortunately, be all-consuming like that, LaLota says.

Worst-case-scenario thinking can impact you physically too. Since your body can’t tell the difference between a real or make-believe threat, it often responds by going into fight or flight mode with intense, panicky sensations like sweaty palms, a racing heart, and stomach issues, says LaLota. Those sensations can also feed into your panic, she says. What a cycle. 

Even though you can’t always stop thoughts from popping in your head, you can  stop the worst-case-scenario worry from spiraling out of control, notes LaLota. To get to that place of handling your catastrophic thinking better, here are therapist-backed tips you’ll want to screenshot ASAP. (I, Queen of anxious thoughts, will for sure be saving these for later!)  

1. Separate yourself from your thoughts.

Getting distance from your thoughts—what’s called defusion—can be the pause you need to see them in a realistic light before you feel out of control, says LaLota. Separating yourself from your thoughts minimizes the power they have because, rather than spiraling, you’re giving yourself time to realize that they’re just…thoughts, she explains.

You can visualize them on a computer screen being typed out or recite them backwards or in a funny voice, LaLota suggests. She also suggests saying, “Oh, what an interesting thought,” to call it out. You can even attribute your catastrophic thoughts to some anxious alter ego named Susan! Some clients have told clinical psychologist Cynthia Shaw, PsyD, that literally just saying “stop” while the worst-case-scenario thoughts are happening helps them snap out of it, she says. 

2. Put your catastrophic thoughts on trial. 

Assessing the probability of the worst-case scenario can help you think more realistically too. Sure, anything is possible, but is it actually likely? Probs not. So, look at the evidence. If you’re scared of flying because you can’t stop picturing the plane crashing, is there anything about the plane that’s making you believe it’s unsafe? Can you look up stats on how often crashes happen? Jacobsen’s all for doing your own research on plane safety. You can also think about every time you or your friends took plane rides and didn’t  crash, she adds. All signs point to a disaster being unlikely.

3. Think about other outcomes.

To help you believe that there are outcomes other than disaster, LaLota suggests answering the following three questions: 

• What is the worst-case scenario?
• What’s the absolute best-case scenario?
• What is the most realistic scenario? 

Sometimes zooming out puts things into perspective, says LaLota. We’re also teaching our minds how to assess threats more accurately instead of believing our negative thoughts, she notes. 

Say you didn’t study for a test. You’re worried you’re going to fail, you’ll flunk the entire class, and you’ll be ashamed for years to come. On the opposite end of possibility, the exam could be easier than you thought and you’d get a great grade. The most probable outcome is that you’d get a below average score on this test but your future won’t suffer too much, says LaLota.

4. Ground yourself.

Jacobsen says that catastrophizing can be like a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if you can’t stop worrying about bombing a big presentation, you may get so worked up that you do  screw up, she explains. You’re not this all-powerful being who controls life, but catastrophizing about something can work against you. 

To avoid stuff like that from happening, you’ll want to calm your body and mind down when they’re in panic mode with grounding techniques. Grounding can help reduce your catastrophic thinking by distracting you from the spiral, bringing you back to the present moment, and soothing the physical sensations you might be having, Dr. Shaw says.

One of Dr. Shaw’s favorite techniques is the 5-4-3-2-1 method, where you identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. If that’s not for you, you can also try playing with silly putty, using a fidget toy, or noticing how a rock feels or looks in your hand, she says. 

5. Get curious about where your worries come from.

Since past experiences can influence catastrophic thinking, one way to get perspective is to ask: OK, is there something that happened before that’s making me think this way?  And: Is there something deeper going on? What am I REALLY afraid of?  “A lot of times, [the deeper fear is] either safety and survival, vulnerability, lack of control, shame, or fear of judgment,” says Jacobsen. This investigative work can help surface the underlying issues or experiences triggering your worries, she explains. And that sucks the power away out of your spiral. Also, you can work through what’s making you catastrophize about the present, she notes. 

Maybe you’re worried that your friend just canceled plans because they hate you. This stress might not be about your friend though! You might have been betrayed by people in your past and you’re subconsciously (or consciously) trying to protect yourself from experiencing that again, says Jacobsen. 

Note: If you’re dealing with past trauma, it might be a good idea to unpack fears associated with that trauma in therapy so you have extra support, Jacobsen says. 

6. Physical symptoms are innocent until proven guilty.

For people whose anxiety centers on health, it’s common to worry that every ache or pain means something is terribly wrong, says Jacobsen. (Me! I’m people!) In those instances, try to give whatever you’re feeling time to work itself out, she notes. Chances are, you’ll be OK in a day or two. If not, you can call your doctor.

7. Explore how you’d handle the worst-case scenario.

When we’re anxious, we’re often overestimating how much of a threat something is and underestimating our ability to cope with that threat, says LaLota. But there’s definitely a difference between worrying about the worst outcome (unhelpful!) and planning for what you’d do (helpful!), she explains. 

Planning sometimes helps us recognize how unlikely the worst-case scenario is or, at the very least, realize that we’re capable of handling our shit, LaLota notes. “If we have confidence in our ability to cope even when things go wrong, the catastrophe, the worst happening, doesn’t seem as daunting because we have that self-trust,” she says.

Here are some questions that can help you feel prepared for the worst, according to LaLota:

• How have you handled a similar situation in the past? 
• What can you do or who can you go to in advance to prepare you for this hypothetical situation?
• What skills do you already have that can help you through this? 

8. Let go of control.

You can look at the evidence and prepare all you want, but the reality is, technically, nothing is certain. So, sometimes the only thing you can do is relinquish a little bit of control, says Dr. Shaw. 

Dr. Shaw recommends imagining the catastrophizing thoughts passing you by—on a log going down a river or on clouds moving across the sky—and just sitting with the emotions you’re feeling without judging. “We cannot protect ourselves from bad things happening,” Jacobsen adds. “That’s life. So work on that acceptance [and tell yourself]: I can control what I can, but there’s also a lot that is out of my control.”

9. Lean into compassion.

No good comes from shaming worst-case-scenario thinking—have you ever worried about how much you were worrying?! Not helpful! Instead, remind yourself that this is your brain’s way of trying to help you prepare for a bad thing, says LaLota. It has good intentions even if it’s a little misguided, she adds. Less shame; more compassion!

The post How to Finally Stop Catastrophizing appeared first on Wondermind.

Highly Recommend Link Copied 05.02.24

11 Adult Coloring Books That Feel Like a Brain Massage

You’ve gotta see the Schitt’s Creek one. BySam Brodsky

Whether adult coloring books have always been your thing or you’re just now discovering them, you might be wondering why coloring feels so awesome. I’m so glad you wondered! Coloring is a low-stakes, repetitive activity that soothes by shifting your attention away from stress or anxiety and into the present moment, says art therapist and licensed clinical psychologist Jennifer Harrison, PsyD, ATR-BC. “This [kind of] focus can reduce the presence of stressors in the mind’s landscape, similar to the effects of meditation,” Dr. Harrison adds. Welcome, mindfulness.  

As you relax with a colored pencil in your hand, you’re working that creativity muscle without starting from scratch, Dr. Harrison notes. That can seem a lot less overwhelming than other kinds of art projects. The predetermined design and literal boundaries of the pages can also provide a comforting metaphor for control during times when you feel like you’re severely lacking it, adds art therapist Wendy Bradley, ATR-BC, CLAT. “Often, when a person is stressed, overwhelmed, in a state of upset, they feel like their lives may be spiraling. So when they can color in a coloring book, it gives them something concrete,” she explains. They have control over the colors, the pages they choose, and the patterns they create. 

Plus, when you set an intention for your coloring session, like taking a break from your thoughts, relaxing, or just expressing your vibe, you can get even more of a mental fitness boost, says art therapist Stella Fischl, ATR-BC, LCAT. Keeping that intention in mind means that if you’re not finding relief, or whatever it is you’re looking for, you can switch to a different page, swap markers for colored pencils, or make any other adjustments you might need, Fischl notes.

The benefits of coloring books (in art therapy or outside of it) can go deeper too. In Dr. Harrison’s experience, coloring—and art in general—can help people of all ages, adults included, process and deal with trauma. It does this by regulating your emotions, which is helpful when you’re in the middle of freaking out or on the verge. And it can also enable you to externalize thoughts and feelings that might be too hard to articulate, she says. The process of choosing colors and filling in blank spaces lets you express yourself in a meaningful way without having to talk, Dr. Harrison explains. 

Of course, coloring is a kind of play, which means there are literally no rules! Color outside the lines or mark up the margins if you aren’t in it for that control metaphor, says Bradley. “Creativity has no limits. And if it works for you and you feel better doing it, go for it!” she says. 

So, without further ado, check out adult coloring book recommendations from art therapists and non-therapists. From intricate layouts that’ll keep you hyperfocused for hours to fun illustrations featuring swear words (f*ck yeah!), these are some of the best ones out there.

The post 11 Adult Coloring Books That Feel Like a Brain Massage appeared first on Wondermind.